Precisely timed with the compliment, Kate shoved a forkful of rolled linguini into her mouth. “Why do people keep telling me that? Am I radioactive or something?”
“You’ve got this whole aura about you. It’s kind of endearing and nauseating all at the same time.”
“This is turning out to be some summer,” Kate said. “It’s almost surreal.”
“What is—being in a normal, healthy relationship?”
“I don’t know how to explain it. Sometimes, I’m not sure what to think or feel.” She brushed her napkin across her mouth and took a break from her mammoth plate of pasta. “I’ve been caught up in this whirlwind for the last month and a half, like I’m watching myself with Jordan from the outside, and I can’t quite believe it’s me.”
“That’s not a bad thing. Once in a while, a little unexplained phenomenon can be a beautiful thing.”
Kate glanced out at the boiling air undulating on the pavement. “I suppose.”
“But?” Didi said.
“You’d think, considering how I feel when I’m with her, that everything’s perfect, but I don’t know. I can’t shake this unsettled feeling.”
“Kate, you just met her in June. You have to give it some time.”
“How much time? Long enough for us to get so emotionally invested that someone’s devastated when it ends?”
“It seems like you’re both already there, emotionally attached I mean.”
“Maybe.” Kate glanced at pedestrian traffic in and out of the Italian ice shop as she deliberated Didi’s suggestion. “It’s funny how in those moments when it’s just Jordan and me, I’m a different person. Since she’s come along the emptiness that resided in my chest for so long is just gone. It’s a lovely distraction. I’d become so accustomed to it that I forgot it was possible to feel anything else.
“Her heart is so open, and she gives all of herself so freely. I envy that about her, that courage or naïveté—whatever it is.” She squinted upward as a batch of cumulous clouds settled in front of the sun. “This is so confusing. She’s so young, and we’re so different. Am I ever going to get over that?”
Before Didi could answer, an elderly couple holding hands shuffled past their table. “See? Look at that,” Kate said. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
“What about them?”
“When I’m their age, Jordan will only be our age now. Can you imagine what we’ll look like together in twenty years? People will think she’s my home-health aide, for Christ’s sake.”
Didi stared at her like she was ridiculous until she finished chewing. “Why are you stressing out about twenty years from now? It makes no sense. The government’s gonna bring about the apocalypse long before then anyway.”
Kate sighed in frustration. “Because this is what I do.”
“You’re wasting a lot of mental energy searching for reasons why this won’t work. Can’t you focus on the many positives you have going for you?”
Kate smiled as she sipped her prosecco. “We have plenty of those.”
“Now you’re talking,” Didi said.
“You wouldn’t believe what this girl has me doing,” Kate said through a chuckle. “She got me onto a paddleboard. Not a kayak, mind you, where you sit snug and safe beneath the skirt, but actually standing and paddling down Branford River. Oh, and I dragged her to the Met last Saturday for the opening of the new Dali exhibit. It was a pleasure watching someone else be the fish out of water for a change. She was so thrilled to be there, studying every form and brushstroke of every painting in the exhibit. She wore this gorgeous, curve-hugging black dress—man, she was a vision—until you saw her wobble around in a pair of heels. It was just precious. Of course, when she stumbled into me and her liver pâté on milk toast slid down the front of my new Versace couture pantsuit, that wasn’t so precious.”
She sat back and laughed as she recalled the evening.
Didi smiled. “That’s more like it.”
Kate grinned, embarrassed by her enthusiasm.
“Look, I’m done lecturing you about having a meltdown over everything. My sincere wish is that you’ll see in yourself what I’ve seen these last several weeks. It’s all her.”
“I’m happy to take this slowly. The last thing I need to do is go leaping before I look, especially into that fountain of youth.”
“I couldn’t care less whether you’re in love or not, which by the way, I’m convinced you are. I’m just pointing out the glorious change in you.”
“Thank you for that,” Kate said. “And for the complimentary psychoanalysis you provide during nearly every meal we share. It never gets old,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“You’re an amusing topic of conversation. You get so tense and uncomfortable whenever anyone mentions feelings. So how about some details about Jordan in the sack?”
“And there it is.” Kate tossed her balled-up napkin onto the table.
“Give me a break. It’s not like I’ll ever get a woman that young or that hot.”
“Now what kind of attitude is that, Ms. Positivity Ray-of-Sunshine pain in the ass?”
“I came off the bench late in the game. I’ll never make up for all that lost time.”
“I think you’ll make it all up with Rhea and then some, don’t you?”
“You think? What do you mean?”
“Nothing,” Kate said. “Well, I mean, she’s a little friendly, maybe bordering ever so slightly on flirtatious.”
“She’s a realtor,” Didi said. “She has to be friendly. Pop your head out of your cocoon once in a while, and you’ll see how regular people interact with each other.”
“Okay,” Kate said, holding up her hands in surrender. For the sake of preventing her head from being entirely bitten off, she decided to drop that topic. “So how are things with her?”
“Fine,” Didi said, almost too quickly. She hesitated for a moment, and then said, “You independent businesswomen have a personality type all your own. She doesn’t see the fun in wearing her heart on her sleeve or blindly leaping into a love affair either.”
“Imagine that,” Kate muttered into her wineglass.
“But we’re having a great time hanging out. And the sex is spectacular. I just can’t say that enough—spectacular sex, spectacular sex. It has such a delightful alliterative ring to it, doesn’t it?”
“I’m painfully aware of that part. It’s all you ever talk about.”
“Let me ask you this.” Didi hunched forward and whispered, “Do you think I’m too needy?”
Kate contemplated the question while the busboy cleared their dishes. “I don’t know you in a romantic sense, but I would hazard a guess that you might be a little high maintenance. Why do you ask?”
“Then it must be me.”
“What must be you?”
“I was kind of hoping she’d become more affectionate and attentive. You know, cuddling in bed, late-night phone calls when we’re not together, all that Hallmark propaganda that sucks you in during this stage of the relationship. She’s sort of aloof, a touch ambivalent. She hasn’t even invited me to her house yet.”
“Maybe she’s afraid you’re one of those lesbians who’ll show up with a toiletry case and ask for a drawer in her dresser.”
“Please, girl. I may be a sucker for the happily-ever-after fantasy, but I’ve been around enough to know that’s only guaranteed for pretty blond girls named Tiffany and their college sweethearts named Brad. I’m fine with pacing myself.”
“Maybe she’s like the ’71 Torino I used to drive in high school. Remember that car?” Kate suddenly drifted off in nostalgia. “That baby took a long time to warm up, but once all her pistons were firing, she was hell on wheels.”
“You just compared my woman to an old Ford.”
“Huh. Yes, I did. Look, lousy simile aside, maybe you should casually mention your concern to her—if you don’t think it’s too soon to have the conversation.”
“I don’t have much expe
rience in relationships like this, you know, ones that I actually care about. What do you think?”
“I don’t think it would hurt,” Kate said. “My problem is prying Jordan off me.” The thought amused her. “Whenever we spend the night together I feel like I have a Siamese twin.”
Didi’s face scrunched up. “I hate you.”
“Sorry,” she promptly offered. “It’s only been a month, so I say give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“Actually, six weeks, and thirteen days texting before we met, but who’s counting? She’s a remarkable woman, Kate, and I can see this going somewhere. For the first time in my life, I feel whole, like the mixed-up bunch of pegs that used to be me finally fit in the right holes.”
Kate reached across the table and clasped Didi’s hand for a moment. “I’m so happy you’re finally experiencing this. You’ve waited so long.”
They regarded each other with kindred smiles.
“You said ‘holes,’” Kate said.
She and Didi shattered the tender moment with hearty laughs. Then Kate wondered whether Rhea was worthy of the credit Didi was giving her. The not-so-distant memory of her accosting Jordan at the margarita party resurfaced in her mind. If she was ever going to enlighten Didi, this would be the time. But how could she? If anyone was radiant lately, it was her. What would be the point of crushing her spirit now?
Didi checked her vibrating phone as a maniacal gleam tripped in her eyes. “Hey, you. What’s going on? Oh, you can’t? All right. How about tomorrow night? Okay. Thursday works. I can’t wait to see you.” She paused to glance at Kate before ending the call with, “I love you.”
“I love you, already,” Kate remarked casually, not to arouse alarm. “Does she say it back?”
“Does ‘you too’ count?”
Kate tried to mask her reaction. “Not sure. I suppose?”
“I said it first last night, and that was her reply. She’s a Torino, remember?”
Kate nodded and mustered her most convincing smile. “If you’re not seeing her tonight, come over for a glass of wine or something. Jordan’s doing some rehearsing for her upcoming show, so Ruby and I will be relaxing on the couch watching Sixty Minutes.”
“I can’t tell you how appealing that sounds,” Didi said with a giggle. “But no, thanks. I’ve got big plans of my own—binge-watching season two of I Dream of Jeannie on Netflix.”
Didi’s nonchalance couldn’t hide the demons of doubt pitching about in her eyes. If somebody had the power to cast such a dark shadow over her glowing disposition, then it had to be love. Kate resisted the temptation to swing into overprotective big-sister mode; she didn’t do meddling very well. And if a sexy genie didn’t have the power to make Didi smile, nothing did.
* * *
Kate and Didi arrived at Charlesworth Winery early to claim a table facing the softly lit corner where a microphone stand and acoustic guitar awaited their mistress. The tasting area was packed with wine-tasters, mainly throngs of lesbians who’d gathered to catch one of Jordan Squire’s notable standing-room-only performances. After watching the early evening sun sneak behind trees surrounding acres of grapevines, Kate made note of the varied ages of the women in attendance. Some were her age, but lots more were younger, and many of them appeared to be single. With Jordan’s popularity growing to seemingly unknowable heights, how long before someone her own age swooped in and connected with Jordan on her level?
“Ay,” Didi said, smacking the table. “You want a nipple for that?”
Kate snapped out of brooding over audience demographics and compared her nearly full glass with Didi’s nearly empty one. “No. Just a little distracted.”
“Aww, don’t worry. Your little lady’ll be out any minute.”
Kate grinned into her wineglass, preferring to stow away her latest round of insecurity rather than unpack it with Didi right there.
“I thought Viv was coming up for the weekend,” Didi said as she poured another glass of chardonnay.
“I thought so, too,” Kate said. “She’s been MIA a lot lately. I hope she’s not up to something shady.”
“Other than having fertility doctors mine her aged ovaries for the last vestiges of viable eggs?”
Kate laughed behind her hand to avoid spraying Didi with moist cracker crumbs. “I don’t know why she’s going through all this now. It’s over with Maia. If she’d just behaved like an adult instead of a spoiled heiress while they were together, it never would’ve taken such a nasty turn.”
“I felt so bad for Maia,” Didi said. “She loved Viv so much, but in the immortal words of Patty Smyth and Don Henley, ‘sometimes love just ain’t enough.’”
Kate regarded her curiously. “I guess it’s still too soon for you to quote Jewelle Gomez or Adrienne Rich.”
“Huh?”
Kate smirked at Didi, then did a double take when Jordan entered the room. She licked her lips as Jordan sauntered toward their table, her black tank revealing the Wonder Woman symbol tattooed on her beautifully sculpted shoulder.
“I don’t know how this is possible,” Didi said, “but Jordan looks sexier every time I see her.”
Kate nodded. “I can’t figure out if all these recent hot flashes are from her or I’m starting menopause.”
“Hey, baby,” Jordan said as she wrapped her arms around Kate and gave her a big smooch. “Thanks for coming, you guys.”
“It’s our pleasure,” Didi said. As Jordan hugged her, Didi made a lusty face at Kate over her shoulder.
“Have a great set, honey.” Kate kissed her on the cheek and sent her off with a pat on the rear end.
As Jordan made her way to the microphone, numerous women stopped her to chat her up, delaying the start of the set.
“Do you see that?” Kate asked. “Should I be worried?”
Picking an olive off their charcuterie plate, Didi shook her head. “If my girlfriend had groupies, I’d be sitting here with the biggest goofy-ass grin you could ever imagine. And those skinny jeans…” She fanned herself with a napkin.
“Keep your eyes to yourself.” Kate playfully swatted the napkin out of Didi’s hand. “Where’s your girlfriend, anyway?”
“Supposedly on her way. She had to work late again.”
Kate ignored her suspicion about Rhea’s latest absence as she swooned from the tingles Jordan’s sultry voice fired through her. As she crooned Carly Simon’s “Nobody Does It Better” and smiled at her, Kate momentarily forgot anyone else was in the crowded room. Sometimes the way Jordan looked at her left her breathless, like Kate was the sweetest note she’d ever sung.
Later, when Jordan announced she was taking a short break, Kate stood up and stretched in anticipation, but various women offering compliments and flirtatious smiles delayed Jordan’s arrival.
“I’ll be right back,” Didi said. “I’m going outside to give Rhea a call. She’s not answering my text.”
Kate nodded, preoccupied with everyone swarming Jordan, particularly the two women acting rather familiar with her. Why was she feeling so possessive? It was not a good color on her and hauntingly reminiscent of another relationship she’d thought she’d learned from. Obviously, they were Jordan’s friends. Against her better judgment, she meandered over to make her presence known.
“Hey,” Jordan said, finally noticing her.
“Hi.” Kate eyed Jordan’s friends.
“This is Kate,” Jordan said, sweeping her hand across Kate’s back. “And this is Taylor and Andie, friends from Boston.”
As the women exchanged greetings and handshakes, Kate didn’t like the way Andie was looking at Jordan. Her lawyer instincts were picking up a strong whiff of collusion. Or was it just a case of good old-fashion jealousy?
“I’ll let you ladies catch up,” Kate said. “I’m gonna get in line for the ladies’ room.”
“You don’t have to…” Jordan said, but Kate was already on the move.
As she waited in line, she tried to stop stewing about the pre
tty young women who’d grabbed Jordan’s attention. The last thing she wanted was to turn into that woman, the insecure, smothering, control-freak girlfriend. No way could she allow that to happen—again. After Lydia, she’d worked too hard with her therapist to purge those old habits and beliefs to fall back into them so easily now with someone she was just getting to know.
Meanwhile, as she was admonishing herself, disembodied voices proclaiming how hot Jordan was floated past her ears. Where were her two best friends when she needed them?
As if on cue, Didi approached her in line as she waited for the next available stall. “Can I borrow your car?”
“My car? For what?”
“Rhea’s not answering my texts or my calls. I need to go check on her. What if she fell at her office and is lying in a pool of blood dying from a clot or something? Or even worse, what if she’s with someone else?”
“Didi, you haven’t been dating long enough to stalk her,” Kate said.
“So it’s okay for Viv to stalk Maia but not for me to look in on Rhea? You always take her side.”
“No. It’s not appropriate for anyone to stalk for any reason. Now please, Didi, I don’t want to have to defend another friend in court on such an embarrassing charge. My schedule’s busy enough.”
Didi leaned against the wall and pouted as Kate entered the stall.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Kate said, before closing the door. “If she’s working, she’ll get back to you as soon as she’s free. It’s only eight fifteen.”
By nine thirty, Jordan had finished her set, and Kate had sufficiently talked Didi down from her ledge. As Jordan packed up her equipment, the two friends from Boston hovered by her. Kate tried to ignore the pangs caused by wondering why Jordan hadn’t introduced her as her girlfriend.
“Have you heard from Rhea?” she asked.
“No,” Didi said, “but I’m following your advice and giving her the benefit of the doubt. See how evolved I am?”
“Why are you listening to me? I don’t know everything.”
Summer Fling Page 12
