She climbed onto a low rock, and Tony scrabbled up after her. He settled against her leg as she tilted her head and watched the colors play across the sky.
After a while, she opened her Bible. She’d been reading through the book of Deuteronomy over the past few days, and she picked up where she’d left off, with Moses giving his final instructions to the Israelites before they entered the promised land. But her heart was only half in the reading. Until she came to Deuteronomy 31:8: The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Tears filled Violet’s eyes, and a soft peace washed over her.
No matter how many people in this world had left her, no matter how many more would leave her, God would never forsake her.
How had she let herself lose sight of that fact?
The cold had seeped through her sweatpants by the time she slid off the rock, but her heart felt warmer than it had in a long time.
God had brought Nate into her life for a reason, Violet knew that. And even if he was no longer part of her life, he’d been one of the threads pulling together her tapestry. He’d helped her realize that she didn’t have to live in the past. That she was ready to move on and―if the right person came along―love again.
Next time she felt that pull toward someone, she wouldn’t resist. She would tell them how she felt, as soon as she felt it. Like she should have done with Nate.
That was her biggest regret in all of this.
He’d left without knowing how she felt about him. Without knowing she loved him.
She’d thought about calling him. But something held her back. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with him. But she sensed he needed the space to work through things on his own. She only prayed that he’d know she forgave him. And, more importantly, that he would know the peace that could only come from knowing Jesus had died for his sins.
Violet was halfway up the hill to her building when her phone rang. She pulled Tony to a stop, trying to catch her breath. Had Nate sensed that she was thinking about him? Was he thinking about her, too?
But it was much more likely to be Sophie or Peyton. More likely to be anyone, really, than Nate.
Still, she couldn’t stop the surge of hope.
She had to stare at the number for a few seconds before she believed it was true.
The she answered quickly, before it could go to voice mail. “Jade?”
There was no reply at first, and Violet held her breath. Was she really going to get to talk to her sister for the first time in six years?
After a second, a small voice said. “Hi, Violet.”
Violet closed her eyes and breathed out a prayer of thanks. “It’s so good to hear you.”
“You too.” Jade sounded like she was crying, and Violet laughed as tears ran down her own face, too.
Chapter 42
Nate made himself knock on Dad’s office door. In the two days he’d been home, Dad had barely said a full sentence to him.
But he couldn’t put this off any longer. It was time for him to stand up for what was right. He owed Violet that much.
“Come in.” Dad’s voice wasn’t exactly inviting, but Nate pushed the door open.
He tried to ignore the way Dad’s eyes hardened the moment they fell on him.
“We have to talk.”
Dad sat silent. Apparently that was as much of an invitation as Nate was going to get. He crossed the room to stand in front of Dad’s desk, feeling suddenly like a naughty schoolboy facing the principal.
“I don’t know what Talmadge has over you, but you have to call off the witch hunt for Violet Somers’s property. Before she gets hurt.”
Dad crossed his arms in front of him.
Nate ignored Dad’s look of disapproval and kept talking. “There are plenty of properties in Hope Springs. There’s no reason to let Talmadge ruin Violet’s life. She doesn’t deserve that. Whatever he has over you, she shouldn’t have to pay the price.”
Dad’s frown deepened, until his whole lower face was a map of downward slanting lines. Nate was reminded once again of how much his father had aged.
“You think he has something over me, Nate? That I’m trying to evict your friend for my own gain?”
Nate stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
Dad’s frown twisted. “It’s not what he has over me, Nate. It’s what he has over you. You want to blame someone for what’s happening to your friend, blame yourself.”
Dad’s words fell against him like blows, and he grabbed at the edge of Dad’s desk. “Me? What could he possibly have over me?”
Dad scrubbed a hand down his cheek, looking weary. “After the accident, when you were in the hospital and then afterward when you were in―” Dad looked away.
“Prison.” Nate filled in. He didn’t blame Dad for not wanting to say it. No matter how many times he said that word, he’d always hate the taste of it.
Dad kept going as if he hadn’t heard. “We worked very hard to keep everything quiet. To keep your name out of the papers. But there were a lot of reporters at the concert that night because everyone knew that producer might be there.” Dad’s sigh carried a weight Nate wished he could lift. Everything Dad had been through in the past seven years was Nate’s fault. “Anyway, Talmadge was the guy I hired to keep things quiet. He pulled some strings, called in some favors. Nothing illegal but definitely things that were distasteful. He managed to do a pretty good job of it.”
“Why?” None of this made any sense. Dad hadn’t cared what happened to Nate after the accident. He’d made that abundantly clear.
Dad lifted his shoulders. “To protect you. So you could have a decent life when you got out.” He looked away for a second. “Anyway, a couple years ago, Talmadge began talking about how I hadn’t really paid him enough for what he’d done. He started demanding more. But the more I gave him, the more he demanded.”
Nate felt sick to his stomach. He had no idea Dad had done all of that for him.
“Why Violet’s property, though? Why wouldn’t he consider any of the other places I tried to show him?”
Dad shrugged. “At first, I think it was just the location. But when he realized that you were in a relationship with Violet, he saw targeting her store as a way to hurt you and hurting you as a way to hurt me, especially when I told him he could have any property but that one.”
“But why would he want to hurt you?” Never mind the question of why Talmadge would think hurting Nate would hurt Dad in turn. He obviously didn’t realize Dad detested Nate now.
Dad dropped his gaze to his desk. “You’re not the only person who’s done things you’re not proud of. I cheated Talmadge out of a deal years ago. A pretty big one. He’s never forgiven me. When I went to him about all of this, I knew something like this was a distinct possibility. But he’s the best at this sort of thing.”
Nate chewed his lip. “I don’t care if people know. Let Talmadge tell everyone. Don’t protect me at Violet’s expense.”
Dad studied him as if unsure who Nate was anymore. “Actually, I just got a call from the private investigator I hired to look into your suspicions that Talmadge started that fire.”
“And?” Nate’s hands clenched. If Talmadge had intentionally endangered Violet―
“He’s passed the evidence he collected on to the Hope Springs police department. They should be picking him up any minute now.”
Nate dropped into the plush chair behind him. “And in the meantime? What if he tries to hurt her again?” He never should have left her alone.
“He won’t. My guy is on him twenty-four, seven.”
Nate pushed to his feet. “And her store? You have no reason to evict her now.”
Dad shook his head. “There’s still the matter of her back rent.”
“She’s really close on that. I’ve got calls out to a couple of guys who might be interested in a Bosendorfer piano she has. And
if that falls through―” Nate scrambled for something, anything. “If that falls through, I’ll pay it off myself.”
Dad snorted. “With what money?”
“I’ll get a job flipping burgers. Or I’ll work for you. Whatever. You can have my salary until her rent is paid off.”
“You really want to do that for her?” Dad squinted at him as if suspicious of his intentions.
“Absolutely. I’d do anything for her.”
“Why? What’s in it for you?”
Violet’s dark eyes and gentle smile popped into his head. “Because she’s the best person I know. Because she reminded me who I really was when I couldn’t see it. Because―”
Dad held up a hand. “I get it. You’re in love with her.” He rolled his eyes, but something in his features had softened. “I’ll take that into consideration.”
Chapter 43
“Have a nice day.” Violet smiled at the sweet older lady who had bought a Victorian wall sconce. The sale wasn’t quite enough to meet her back rent, and she only had a couple days left before the deadline to pay it off and renew her lease.
She hadn’t been able to bring herself to hold a going out of business sale. If it came down to it, she could always move her stuff into a storage unit and get a temporary job until she figured out what to do next.
She rearranged a small display case of porcelain dolls. The one with the tiny dimples reminded her of Jade, and she pulled it out of the case. Next time she talked to her sister, she’d ask for her address and send this to her as a surprise.
They’d talked on the phone once more in the past week. Jade told her about the various odd jobs she’d held down while looking for work as an actor. She’d worked as a waitress, a cell phone saleswoman, and even one of those people who dressed up as a hot dog to try to drum up business for a fast-food joint. Along the way, she’d managed to snag a couple of small parts in commercials but nothing like what she’d hoped to land.
She’d seemed thoroughly discouraged, and Violet sensed there was a lot Jade wasn’t telling her, but at least it was a start.
Violet had found herself spilling to Jade about Nate as well. Although Jade hadn’t offered any advice, just knowing she was listening made Violet feel less lonely.
After setting the doll aside, Violet picked up the day’s mail. She shuffled the bills to the bottom of the pile but stopped when she came to a formal-looking envelope from Benson Properties. She frowned at it. She’d been wondering how Nate would tell her that she had to get out. She’d let herself hope he’d call. It’d been more than a week since she’d heard his voice, and she yearned to talk to him again―even if it was only to say goodbye.
But apparently a formal letter was all she was going to get.
She sat on the stool behind the counter and ripped the envelope open. She might as well get this over with.
She withdrew a thick sheaf of papers clipped together. Her heart accelerated as her eyes fell on the note on top. That was definitely Nate’s handwriting.
Dear Violet,
After further investigation, my father has uncovered evidence that Talmadge was responsible for the fire. He has contacted the Hope Springs police department, so you shouldn’t have any more trouble. Please know how sorry everyone associated with Benson Properties is for this. We hope you’ll accept the enclosed check as reimbursement for any expenses incurred in the cleanup and repairs.
Frowning, Violet flipped through the packet. The tone of the letter made everything clear. Nate was contacting her as a corporate representative. Not as a friend. And definitely not as anything more.
When she came to the check, Violet gasped. It more than covered what she’d spent on the repairs. But she shook her head at the check, as if it could see her. She’d never wanted money from him. She wanted him.
She turned back to the letter.
You will find enclosed a lease renewal agreement. We’d like to renew your lease for five years, if you are still interested in staying. Please consider any outstanding debt canceled as well.
It was too much, and Violet knew she should be grateful. But it all felt empty without Nate here to tell her in person, to celebrate with her.
If all this should prove agreeable to you, please sign and date the enclosed agreement and return it to the address below.
She scanned the address. It was in Wescott. Was that where he had gone? Home? She hoped so. And that he’d found the peace he’d longed for.
The letter continued in smaller, messier handwriting, and Violet had to squint to make it out.
I want to say again how sorry I am about how everything turned out. I want you to know that you changed my life. Really. I hope you are well. And Tony, too. Tell him I miss him. And
And what? Violet wanted to shake the letter. Did he miss her, too? Is that what he’d been about to write?
But he’d left the letter like that, signing it, Yours, Nate.
Violet’s hand shook. He’d given her everything she needed to keep her dream alive.
Everything except himself.
Chapter 44
Nate huddled deeper into his jacket as a gust of wind swept through the crowd lining the route of the Madison Wheelchair Marathon. He shifted anxiously from foot to foot. Mom had gone to the starting line with Kayla, and he and Dad had been standing out here for half an hour. So far, neither of them had said a word.
Although Dad seemed to now accept the fact that Nate was going to be part of their life again, the few conversations they’d had in the past week and a half had been strained. Thankfully, Dad hadn’t let that get in the way of doing the right thing for Violet.
Still, that didn’t mean things between them were easy.
Not by a long shot.
Next to him, Dad took a step away, putting more distance between them. “I’m going to go grab a coffee. You want one?”
It wasn’t meant to be a trick question, Nate knew that. And yet he had to be careful not to let Dad think he was taking advantage of them. He was already living in Dad’s house and eating his food.
“I’ll grab you one.” Dad didn’t wait for an answer before he disappeared into the crowd.
Nate let out a long breath. He studied the map of the course in his hand. How was his little sister going to wheel herself twenty-six miles? She’d let him try the wheelchair the other day when he’d been watching her train, and it was hard.
But that was Kayla. Completely determined.
Nate tried not to think about what she could have done with that determination if she’d never been injured. He had to remind himself that Kayla was right. God had used her injury for good. Who knows where she would have ended up if she had continued her former lifestyle?
Still, some nights the guilt clawed its way back in, worming and twisting until it almost consumed him.
The only thing he could do those nights was to climb out of bed and spend the night on his knees in prayer.
Thankfully, praying was becoming familiar again, and he’d dug out the old Bible tucked into the drawer of his nightstand. As he read it again, he enjoyed revisiting his old notes and highlights. He felt like that young man again, full of all his new discoveries of God’s love in Scripture. And at the same time, he felt like a seasoned veteran, someone who had seen that life wasn’t always pretty but that God was there through all of it.
“Here.”
Nate jumped as Dad thrust a coffee at him. “The race just started. She won’t get to this spot for at least fifteen minutes, though.”
Nate nodded stiffly and took a swig of the coffee, burning his tongue. He ignored the pain and kept his eyes on the empty road.
“Look, Nate―” Dad cleared his throat.
Nate waited, shoulders tensed. He’d known it was too good to believe that Dad would let him stay indefinitely. He’d probably been waiting to get Nate alone so he could tell him to get lost.
“I wanted to apologize―”
“Wait, Dad, before―” Nate stopped as Dad’s words
registered. “What?”
“For what I said when I picked you up that day. About wishing you weren’t―”
“Born?” Nate said the word without a hint of resentment. “No problem. I’ve wished it plenty of times myself.” He stuffed his left hand in his pocket and took another sip of the scalding coffee.
“I don’t wish that.” Dad’s voice was low. “I was angry and hurt and holding onto that. You have to understand, I felt like I’d lost two children. Thinking about what you were going through in that place and what Kayla was going through out here―it was too much.”
Nate kept his eyes on the route, even though no racers had appeared yet.
“I felt like I had failed to protect you. Both of you. Before all of this, I had such visions for the future for you and for Kayla, and in that one moment, they all came crashing down. It took me a long time to get to grips with the new future.”
“And have you now?” Nate found that he really wanted to know. Because he wasn’t quite sure he’d come to grips with it himself.
Dad’s sigh was ragged. “I’m working on it, son.” His hand fell on Nate’s shoulder, and Nate didn’t dare to move for a second. Then he pulled his hand out of his pocket and lifted it to cover Dad’s.
A second later, the crowd around them broke into cheers, and Nate leaned to see past the tall guy who’d stepped into his line of sight. A group of wheelchairs rounded the corner. Nate squinted into the sun, trying to make out Kayla.
“There she is.” Dad pointed.
With her neon pink helmet decorated with a purple cross, Kayla was easy to pick out leading the pack.
“Go Kayla. Push it.” Nate screamed like he used to scream at her cross-country meets. He’d never been prouder of his little sister, not even when she took the state championship.
Not Until You (Hope Springs Book 3) Page 26
