She bows her head and begins to read, her eyes flicking quickly back and forth. Hadleigh glances up with a sniff, a soft look reaching her eyes before she looks down to finish reading.
I remember every damn word I’d sent her and what she’s seeing on her screen. It’d gone something like this:
Me: Hadleigh, I don’t know what made you think Willow is my girlfriend, but she’s not.
Me: She’s been my best friend for a long time.
Me: She’s the one I told you about, the one I’m living with while I’m student teaching.
Me: I cook, she cleans. Remember?
Me: Please talk to me.
Me: I feel like when we got interrupted by Willow’s spider freak out that you were expecting me to say something about what had just happened between us.
Me: I don’t want to question it. I know what I was feeling. I wanted it to happen—I wanted to kiss you again.
Me: I still do.
She swallows hard. “You still do.” Her eyes remain on the screen as she scrolls back up to look through what I’d written again.
My chest is tight, and I feel like I can barely pull in a breath. I hope this clarifies things for her and answers whatever questions she thought she had about who I am and what I want.
“And the voice mails?” She still doesn’t look up when she asks. She is blinking furiously, and I can tell she’s trying to keep herself under control.
“More of the same.” I catch her chin with my fingers and tip her sweet face up toward me. “Look at me.”
Her eyes flicker up to meet mine, but then cast down again. “I’m feeling pretty dumb right now, Sawyer. I’m such an idiot. The other thing I was going to ask you about at the coffee shop was if you were dating Willow, and then you left me to help her, and I thought …”
I wait until her eyes meet mine again before I respond. “Hadleigh, everything I said was true. I’ve thought of no one else since I set eyes on you.”
My head bobs a few times as I hold her gaze. I feel the need to reiterate things to make sure we are crystal clear. “Willow is my roommate. My best friend. She is not my girlfriend and never has been. Did you really think I’d mess around with you if I had a girlfriend I was going home to?”
Her shoulders inch up. “I didn’t want to think that. But—”
“Well, I wouldn’t do that to you or anyone else. That’s not how I’m built.” I pause for a moment, feeling slightly stung by her assumption. “I know we still have a lot to learn about each other, but I’d like to think you thought better of me than that.”
She shakes her head slowly, and then picks up speed when she says, “Sawyer, I don’t have a great track record with relationships of any sort. I’ve never really had many people I could trust. Especially not men.” She tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “And I think it’s been like that because I didn’t have a role model to show me what healthy relationships should look like. My mom isn’t good at them. My father wasn’t around.”
I press my lips together, thinking. “Okay. So, how about we begin again? We can work on it together. If you trust me enough, that is.” I stand and hold out my hands to help her off the step.
She blinks as she accepts them and looks up at me. Her voice is breathy and a little unsure when she says, “I think I’d like that.”
In that moment, it strikes me that I would do anything to erase any trace of uncertainty that she feels when it comes to what she means to me. I want to be the man she deserves, unlike whatever fools have come before me. I have to mentally shake off the thought of her with anyone but me because I don’t like it one bit. My head dips down until my forehead meets hers, and I stare into the depths of her eyes. I see sadness there. Insecurity. Fragility. Things I doubt she lets anyone else see. “Hadleigh, if you’ll let me, I’ll show you what it should be like.”
My hands capture her head between them, my thumbs skimming over her cheeks as her hands settle on my hips, hanging on tightly. Her eyelids flutter shut. I wait several seconds, just breathing in her air, savoring this moment with her. With my heart hammering in my chest, I brush my lips over hers, softly at first, and then with more determination. She yields to me, and her head drops back to accept my kisses. They’re slow, sensual, so completely consuming. A noise rumbles in my chest as I slide my tongue over her lips and she opens for me, our tongues rubbing together in a frantic dance. And I’m desperate—so desperate—for more of her. I’ll take anything she gives me. Our chests rise and fall rapidly, our breath coming fast, and my need for her grows until all I can think about is how to be closer to her. My arms wrap around her, and I pull her flush against my chest; the feel of her soft breasts is almost my undoing. A fresh surge of desire races through my blood, and my dick hardens between us. She presses against me, runs her hands in my hair, and moans at each nip of my lips as I slide them down, sucking on the soft skin where her pulse jumps.
My chest tightens, a sure sign of just how badly I want this woman. If she can’t tell I’m into her and her alone, I don’t know how I’ll ever show her—but I’ll keep trying. She reaches between us and runs her fingers over my erection through my jeans. Holy fuck. Okay, maybe she knows. I ache for her touch and growl in response, “Hadleigh, you’re going to kill me.”
Don’t get me wrong, I could go on kissing her like this all night, but voices approaching in the hallway serve to remind me that we’re in public.
But then her lips are on mine again, and all reason flies out the window.
Chapter 20
Hadleigh
I haven’t felt so wanted in quite possibly my whole life. One kiss, one touch from Sawyer and I no longer feel drunk, except maybe on him. He’s completely different than every other man who has come before him. His mouth devours me, conquers me, makes me feel like he couldn’t possibly want anyone but me. His tongue does magical things, sweeping inside my mouth, licking, rubbing, tasting me. Every kiss sends a flood of intense pleasure through my system, dampening my panties and tugging on my heart.
I’d felt his erection against my belly and couldn’t help but reach down and touch him. And now, after feeling his hard length with my hand, I want nothing more than to strip him naked so I can feast on his amazing body with my eyes, my hands, and—most of all—my mouth.
Suddenly, he pulls away from our kiss and steps away from me, breathing hard. My eyes flick up to his and then back down to the bulge behind his zipper. “Did I do something wrong?”
He chuckles softly. “No, not at all. I thought I heard someone call out to you.”
Right on cue, Piper’s voice drifts to me from where I think she must be standing just outside of the ladies’ room. “Hadleigh?”
He winks at me and takes my hand, his voice low. “I think I could use a drink to cool myself off, anyway.”
I squint up at him with a grin. “Oh, yeah?” I whisper. “I won’t argue with that. Meet you at the bar in a minute?”
He nods and lowers his face to mine, brushing a kiss over my lips. “Yep. I need a second to, uh, calm down anyway.” He leans in close to whisper in my ear, “You make me so damn hard.” He steps back and clears his throat, giving himself a minor readjustment.
I give him a tiny smirk in return. “Good to know.” I turn and head around the corner towards Piper. One part of me is thrilled at the progress we’ve just made, and the other is slightly terrified of it, too. Every time you get too excited about someone, it all falls apart. Keep that in mind, Hadleigh. I’d momentarily forgotten about the problems this could create at school if it got out that we’re together, and I cringe a little before shoving it out of my head. I just want to be happy. Sawyer makes me happy.
“There you are.” Piper’s gaze follows the direction I just came from, her brows rising.
“Yep. Here I am.” I find I can’t keep the big grin off of my face.
She whispers, “What was that all about with Sawyer?”
I take her hand and lean in. “He … cleared up my misu
nderstanding.” I duck my head as I slide her an embarrassed smile. “He’s definitely not dating his roommate.”
She erupts with laughter. “Well, that’s good.” She squeezes my hand, then lets it go before we wander back out to reclaim our stools at the bar.
We’ve been sitting there for a few minutes when Madison looks around. “Where’s Sawyer?”
“Right here.” He waves as he approaches from the back hallway, then points to the bottle Shawn is currently pouring from. “Weird history fact—Captain Morgan actually existed.” He winks at me before turning his attention back to Shawn. “I’ll take a rum and Coke, too, if you don’t mind.”
Madison laughs. “You’re kidding. There was a real Captain Morgan?”
I snicker behind my hand. Here we go. I’m used to Sawyer’s antics by now, but my friends are not.
To my surprise and delight, Shawn nods his head, joining right in with Sawyer. “He’s right. I’ve heard that story before. He was a privateer. Welsh, I believe.”
Piper accepts her drink from Shawn. “Thanks. Isn’t privateer just another word for a pirate?”
Well, I guess Sawyer fits right in with my friends. At least I don’t have to worry about that. Just, you know, keeping my hands to myself while we’re at school.
Madison answers Piper. “Sort of. The difference is that privateering is technically legal.”
Sawyer grins. “I like this crowd. You’re right. Captain Morgan had a license to attack Spain as long as they were at war with England. He built Jamaica into a strong English colony and retired there before he died as a very rich man.”
I stare at him, impressed, once again.
When he catches the look on my face, he bumps my shoulder with his. “Sorry. I can’t seem to forget random trivia when I hear it. For example,”—he jerks his head toward Shawn—“did you know Abraham Lincoln was a licensed bartender, just like Shawn? He and his friend by the last name Berry opened—”
“A bar in New Salem, Illinois,” Shawn laughs. “I’ve heard that one, too.”
Piper blinks for a second, like she’s seeing Sawyer in a new light. “So, what happened to Abe’s career in bartending?”
Sawyer chuckles. “That’s the funny part of the story. Abe’s buddy drank all the booze, and their establishment quickly went belly up.”
One glance at Shawn, and I can tell he thinks he’s found a new friend. “Did you know George Washington opened—”
Sawyer finishes his sentence with a nod, “A whiskey distillery, yep. Largest in the country at one time.” They laugh conspiratorially, like they are in some secret trivia society together.
“Holy crap, guys.” I search Madison’s face for any hint of surprise, but there doesn’t seem to be any. “Did you know Shawn was a closet trivia buff?”
She chuckles. “It’s a recent discovery, but yes, I’m aware. Especially if it has to do with bartending or alcohol.”
Sawyer and Shawn exchange a grin. Sawyer extends his hand across the bar. “Good to meet you, man.”
“Same,” comes Shawn’s quick response.
Sawyer puts his hand on my shoulder. “Hadleigh, can I take you over and introduce you to Willow?”
Oh. “Um, sure.” I glance around at my friends. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“It’s okay if you’re not.” Piper winks with a grin.
Chapter 21
Sawyer
I guide Hadleigh across the room with my hand on the small of her back, her warmth seeping into me. I look into her eyes and smile. Leaning down so she can hear me over the music, I whisper, “Did you know that around 1870 Darwin proposed that dilated pupils show heightened attention and focus … so basically, how attracted you are to someone?”
She looks up at me again with a huge grin. “In that case, you must think I’m pretty hot.”
I kiss her temple and rasp, “You know it.” When I stop at Willow’s booth, my brow furrows. “Hey, Will. Where’d Shaina and Steve go?”
“Oh, they wanted to go check out that new movie that’s finally playing at the theater. I just figured I’d finish my drink and head back home. You looked busy.” Her gaze slides to Hadleigh.
“Well, do you mind if we sit down with you for a few minutes? This is Hadleigh.”
She winks at us. “That’s kind of why I stayed. I was hoping for an introduction, but first I want to know if this is Hadleigh that you work with or Hadleigh you can’t stop thinking about?” She snickers at her own joke, and when I side-eye Hadleigh, I see she’s amused by my roommate’s sense of humor. Thankfully.
I slowly shake my head, looking between them. “Fuck. Tell me you two aren’t going to gang up on me.” I want her to feel comfortable with Willow and make sure she understands that our friendship is nothing she needs to think twice about, but I was unprepared for them to get along from the very first minute they meet. That appears to be what’s happening, though, and I chuckle to myself at the thought. Heaven help me.
Hadleigh winks at Willow. “We wouldn’t do that. Hi, Willow. The answer to your question is both, I think.” She holds her hand out across the table for a quick handshake as she slides in.
Willow gestures to Sawyer. “The big guy here was awfully worried you had the wrong idea about us from that last text you’d sent. Then when you didn’t respond … well, let’s just say he’s not quite been himself most of the evening. That’s the polite, won’t get me in trouble way of putting it.”
I sit down next to Hadleigh and take her hand in mine, holding it on my thigh. Caressing the back of her hand with my thumb, I shake my head at Willow. “Thanks, Will. As if all the text messages I sent her hadn’t already made her realize I was kind of worked up over the whole situation.”
Hadleigh’s cheeks blush a pretty shade of pink as she steals a look at me before directing her comment across the table. “He was right to be worried. I had it in my head that he’d been dating the girl I’d seen him here with—you—and when I found out he lived with you, I just—” She chuckles. “You know what? Let’s just say I’m an idiot sometimes and move on. I drew the wrong conclusion.”
I squeeze her hand, noticing how she cringes at herself out of the corner of my eye. I glance at Willow and shake my head before turning to face Hadleigh. “You’re not an idiot. You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman.”
Willow clears her throat, then holds up one finger like she has something else to say. First though, she finishes off her drink while we wait not so patiently. When she sets her glass down, we are all ears, curious what she’s about to hit us with. “We certainly couldn’t let you get away from him because of me. His last relationship burned him so badly it took him a long time to even look at a woman again.”
I growl. “Thanks, Will.”
She smirks and throws me a wink. “On that note, kids, I’m heading home. It sounds like you could use some alone time. I’m guessing you can’t really be together like this at school, huh?”
Hadleigh’s fingers clench my hand.
I look up. “No. Not really.”
“That’s what I thought. I’ll let you have your time together, then.” She wiggles her fingers at us as she slides out of the booth. “See you at home, Sawyer.”
Once she’s taken off, I look down at Hadleigh. “Do you want to rejoin your friends, or—”
She shakes her head, her gaze meeting mine, her eyes full of turmoil. “Willow’s right. We’re going to have to be really careful at school.” I watch as she works hard to swallow before she glances down at our hands. “And maybe we shouldn’t really be seen together out and about too much until you and I aren’t working together in a professional capacity.”
I sigh. “You might be right. So, what do we do about that?”
She flips her hand over and grips my thigh tightly. A hint of mischief tips her lips into a smile. “Come back to my place?”
We are out of the bar and at her apartment building in no time flat. Hadleigh races up the stairs to the second floor with me right b
ehind her. She manages to get the key in the lock in record time, pushes the door open, and drags me inside behind her. She’s immediately tugging me down to her so her lips can find their way to my neck. Her hot mouth is like a brand, staking her claim. The way she doesn’t hesitate, like she knows just what she wants, fires me up like nothing before.
A little moan escapes her mouth. “You smell too good, Sawyer.” Her tongue flicks out, teasing me, and the sensation gives me an instant hard-on.
“Hadleigh.” I growl out her name right before I find her mouth with my lips and lose myself in her, my tongue stroking hers, tasting her, fueling the flames that threaten to burn me up from the inside out.
When I break the kiss to look at her, the longing I see in her eyes makes me think maybe she’s looking for something with me that she’s never had before.
A friend.
A partner.
A lover.
Someone who will treat her the way she knows she deserves but has never had before.
The struggle for control over what I want versus what I think she needs is very real. Everything she’s hinted about her past relationships comes rushing back to me and makes me want to use the utmost care in how I handle this next step with her. What I’d witnessed between her and Ed, even though it was just conversation, tells me that she’s been hurt before, used even, and that scares me a little bit.
I run my hands over every inch of her body I can reach, and they finally land on her ass. With a gentle tug, I pull her closer to me, allowing her to feel just how aroused she makes me. “See what you do to me, Hadleigh?” I growl next to her ear, “What do you want, baby?”
Her answer is to reach between us and stroke me, then undo the button on my pants, working the zipper down. Her plump lip is caught between her teeth when she shoves my jeans off my ass and slides her hand into my boxer briefs, pulling out my cock. She strokes her hand over me, her touch bold and sure, and it takes everything I have not to give in to what she’s doing.
Fight for You (Flirting with Forever Book 2) Page 10
