by Love Belvin
“Because this is who I am. I ain’t that millennial, followers-chaser. I grew up in an era where privacy was expected and honored, unless you wild out. I respect the time when growing and getting to know people didn’t happen in a place out in cyberspace. A time before reality TV existed. I understand the business I’m in and do what I have to, to stay in the game, but the real Ragee was born just before the millennial period. My life was FaceTime before Apple trademarked it. I need a break from all that.” He stroked my chin with his dripping index. “And I think you could use one, too.”
I climbed up his hard body and answered with a sweet kiss. I didn’t know the Ragee he spoke of, but was willing to get to know him over the next few days.
We soaked until the water cooled around our exhausted bodies. Raj lifted from the water first to dry off. Then he held a towel out for me to join him. We soon climbed in the bed bare, and fell into each other’s arms. I was out almost immediately.
Do angels sleep in heaven?
‘Cause I know one who does here on earth.
Her countenance so perfect and surreal…
She gives me something I can feel.
She doesn’t magnify my flaws…
Just lifts off with me to Mars.
Makes me wonder if she wants to escape me…
I just want her to save me.
God, she was gorgeous, even when she slept.
I sat up on the pillows watching her as lyrics, complete with melodies flooded my mind. I fell asleep hours ago afraid I’d be letting go of this dream it felt like I was in. When I woke up, my heart was heavy with worry. I didn’t understand why, but knew who. I snatched my sneakers and went out for a run against the beating sun. I prayed while at it. On my way back to our bungalow, I decided to not entertain the fear bubbling inside. No, I wasn’t used to feeling excited about a woman, but I wouldn’t run from what felt…good either.
I tried not to snicker when I heard her stomach rumble as she turned onto her back. But the rush of air from my nose must have brushed against her face. Wynter’s nose waggled then her eyes fluttered open.
“The hell, Raj,” she moaned on a stretch. “Stalkerish much?”
I chuckled. “No. Just impatient.”
“About what?” She glanced around. “What time is it?”
“Exactly. Impatient about how long you could sleep with that stomach growling like that. The whole island been disturbed.”
Wynter froze then rolled her eyes while fighting a smile. I grabbed her into my arms and snuggled my face into her neck.
“Time to get up. I wanna show you the island.” She smelled peachy.
“Mmmm…” She moaned again. Her fingertips running through my hair made my dick inflate in a millisecond. “What time is it?”
“It’s after one in the afternoon.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was zapped…still am. Brushing my teeth and a cup of java should cure that.”
“And I ordered food for you. It’s behind me,” I mumbled into her warm neck.
She pushed against me so she could get up. Funny how familiar we’d become with each other’s bodies in just days. I watched her leave the bed. The back of her silk slip was folded above her jiggling cheeks until she pulled it down. I grabbed my swelling cock and stroked it before telling myself to stop. We were in Saint Justin, an island a few miles south of Vieques Island, which was a smaller Caribbean island off Puerto Rico’s eastern coast. It was hailed one of the most romantic islands in the Caribbean, so I was sure I’d have more of Wynter. It seemed the more I had, the more the intensity of need of her grew.
I waited in the bed, listening to her every move in the bathroom like the stalker she teased about. When she came out and saw me in the same position, waiting for her, Wynter went straight for the food tray on the other side of me. After lifting the carafe, she grabbed a fork and plucked from the egg white vegetable omelet. Then, before swallowing that, she dropped the fork and picked up a raw carrot stick, swiped it in hummus and devoured it.
I cracked up on the bed. Wynter’s tight eyes flashed upon me and rolled nastily. I didn’t care. It was fun watching her eat like a savage, especially when the omelet was probably a little cold by now.
“You ate?” she garbled with a full mouth.
“I had a lil something earlier.” She checked the temperature of the thermal coffee server. “Oh,” I remembered. “Your phone kept blowing up. I turned off the ringer.”
“Mm-hmm,” was all she responded, with no immediate move to check it.
That bothered me. My eyes fell and I combed my hair with the tips of my fingers. “I saw some of your texts.”
Wynter’s eyes skirted over to me, brows peaked. “Yeah?”
Again, she didn’t exactly react.
“I didn’t go into it. But when the chirps kept coming through, I picked it up. Your friends sound like they ain’t seen you since last year.”
“They haven’t,” she answered while chewing, left hand still holding up the plate cover.
And that’s exactly what I was hoping not to hear.
“How could you go so long without hitting up your friends and family?”
“Family?” Her face twisted.
“Your sister—I think. She said she hadn’t heard from you since right after New Year’s.”
Wynter chuckled, coldly. “She saw me right after the new year. That was as much as she’d get anyways. My girls, on the other hand…” She rolled her eyes in the air. “It’s been hard to fit them into this.” Her eyes fell and I caught her drift.
“But isn’t their involvement important to validate ‘this’?”
“The R&B thug uses words exceeding four letters!” Her brows lifted, impressed.
I snorted. Wynter was on her sarcasm tip. I wasn’t in the mood. Knowing she’d been in this all by herself didn’t sit well with me. All this time, I thought she was a professional gold-digger and if she was, she acted without the support of her people. There was an email along with the alerts. I didn’t go into it, but saw it was from a correctional facility and figured it was her uncle.
My phone chirped from the dresser across the room. Wynter plopped a cherry tomato in her mouth before going for it.
“Oh,” she groaned while chewing. “It’s your bestie.”
When she handed me the phone, I caught on.
“Yeah?” I tapped the speaker button and tossed the phone on the bed, wanting to keep watching this beauty devour food.
“Well, hello, sir. What’re you and the missus up to?”
Wynter frowned. I ignored it, was used to it when it came to him.
“She’s eating and I’m enjoying the show.”
“Oh,” he sang. “Well, lucky for me, I’m on my way. We can put on a show together or I’d be content just watching.”
“That ain’t necessary, man.”
“I’m just an hour out,” LeRoy pushed. “Besides, it’ll be fun to spend a few hours with Ms. Wynter.”
“Why?” she blurted into the phone.
“Because I’m your friend now, too. I told you that, belle.”
I could tell Wynter hadn’t adjusted to LeRoy’s personality. It was hard to; he made sure of it. But I understood, he was being protective. Lee hated the arrangement setup just as much as I did. I didn’t consult him on it, so he found out at the last minute. He’d likely been taking it out on Wynter all this time. I’d been too angry and preoccupied with other matters to care. Now was different. Wynter was no longer an enemy. She was…not to be antagonized. LeRoy being the untrusting cat he’d always been, needed to see it for himself. I was good with that.
“Fine, but if you fuck with her, she’ll bite back,” I warned.
“She’s no Ragee McKinnon in the ring, sir. I think I could take her on. Besides, I don’t need a fight, just friendly faces and a few mojitos.”
My face screwed. “You good?”
“I will be…in less than an hour. Right, Mrs. McKinnon?”
Wynter rolled her
eyes. Not being able to process how damn cute she was, I shot up from the bed, grabbed in the air, and slammed her on the mattress.
“Raj!” she screamed, in a fit of giggles.
I managed between her firm thighs and rubbed my growing dick against her. Unable to breathe from laughing, she pushed against me and wrapped her legs around my waist at the same time.
“What are you doing to that girl?” I could hear LeRoy’s muffled voice.
“‘Bout to be something you ‘on’t know much about, kid!” I growled, sucking a piece of her side boob in my mouth and biting.
“Ragee!” she wailed, kicking her legs around me.
“Ooooh!” LeRoy moaned. “Can I FaceTime and watch?”
“Hell no!” she yelled, searching for the phone and tapping to disconnect the call.
17
“You gotta let that go, man.”
“Let it go? You, the gatekeeper of haunted memories tell me”—LeRoy’s well manicured hand swept across his chest—“to let it go?”
Raj’s one arm was around my shoulder while the other waved in the air. “Yeah, man.”
LeRoy’s queen peaked when he whipped his head and blinked hard in disbelief. After sitting through a twenty-plus minute story about him having abruptly ended a visit somewhere in eastern India where his lover lived. Apparently, the two had been dating for the better part of a year and finally the lover was prepared to tell his family he was not only gay, but in love with a black American man. Only problem was, when LeRoy arrived, he soon discovered his lover had lost the balls to do so. So, he left right away and detoured here to Saint Justin. He was now drowning his sorrows in tequila. There was a line of them on our small table.
We were at a small hut bar on the beach, not too far away from our bungalow. The music was a mix of Reggaeton, top 100, hip-hop, and Caribbean vibes. After dinner on the beach, we retreated here where Raj and I spent the first few minutes dancing among the crowd of people. No one seemed to notice him in his low fitted baseball cap. Raj forced a sulking LeRoy to cut in, leaving us to go get a table and drinks for us. Ragee was finally able to get his friend to come clean about his evident gloomy behavior.
LeRoy shook his head dismissively, his lashes fanning. “This is what you hetero people don’t understand. For gay people, seeing you deny who you truly are to appease the facet of people who don’t understand a damn thing about you is fucking offensive.”
“Help me understand.”
“To do that would be me having the power to change your sexuality. If you’re not in the community, I can’t expect you to understand, Raj,” LeRoy grated, rolling his eyes as he grabbed another shot glass and tossed it back.
My eyes swept against Raj to the right of me curiously. I could see he was frustrated by the conversation, and I was now convinced Ragee and LeRoy were completely different species. LeRoy was unapologetically gay—completely femme. Through the past few hours of eating, drinking, and dancing with LeRoy, who was ironically alone with us, he was wholly different from the man I knew off this island. And Raj? He was a straight dude. Dude! He listened, but didn’t empathize. I could tell he didn’t like his friend suffering from a broken heart, but Ragee thought with his head and cursed anything that had to do with the heart. That was basically his response.
“Look. I gotta take a leak then go rap to the concierge right quick before he’s done for the night.” Raj squeezed my hand as he stood from the table. “Stop crying and take care of her till I get back.” And he was off.
I sat back in my seat, the effects of my cocktail warming me over as I gazed across the table at LeRoy.
“What?”
I couldn’t hide my smirk as I washed back the rest of my drink. “You called him a heterosexual.” I licked the drink from my lips.
“Because he is, sweetheart.”
Oh, I know…
“Yeah, but you could be lying. Could have said that to plant the seed in my head.”
LeRoy’s chortle was lined with arrogance. He gulped back another shot and slammed the glass back down playfully. “Oh, honey, if there’s one thing that can be said about LeRoy Eugene Goshay it’s that I don’t lie.” He shrugged. “Simply don’t know how to. Ragee has never been with a man a day in his life. Has never wanted to. He doesn’t swing that way, sweetie. And by the way, he’s been going gorilla on your orangutan-tang; you should know quite well.” He winked.
“You’re bi-sexual. That’s not uncommon.”
By the flip in LeRoy’s eye, I knew he caught the implication.
“I’ve known that man since he was twelve years old. He’s some kind of fucked up, but none of his peculiar ways have to do with sexual preference.”
“I’m just saying…” My eyes fell. “Sometimes we think we know people when we really don’t. Everyone has those two-three stories they keep to the chest, right?” My eyes slowly raked up to LeRoy’s knowing smile.
“I know that man, belle.”
“Not all.”
LeRoy took a deep breath, sitting up in his seat. He smoothed down the front of his shirt with his hand. Then he bit his top lip seductively as his eyes circled around as if to keep from laughing, maybe.
He pulled in and let go of another breath. “I know he hasn’t eaten your pussy.”
My mouth fell open.
He nodded with narrowed eyes. “Yeah. I know, honey. I know he probably wants to—no. Fuck that. He does want to. Ragee McKinnon flies bitches out nowhere. But he likely won’t eat it because he’s a tight ass that’s not big on exploring. Oh, I imagine he can fuck, though.” His chin dipped and brows hiked. “He does fuck women when he feels so inclined. But he doesn’t romance them. He knows nothing about the chase, the strong desire for affection…how to court a woman. And to be honest, I didn’t think his irreversible case of fuckedupness would allow him to.”
“Those are strong words.”
He shrugged with his lips. “It’s true. I love him because I can without being in his face all the time. I don’t need to, to protect him. We have an irreversible bond that he holds so dear, he hasn’t broken it, even for money. That’s why he didn’t get the movie role promised to him. I’m one of the reasons why the false label has been placed on him. I’ve kept my distance for years, but it follows him. The only bond stronger than the one with me has to be his with Myisha. Those two are blood and share their own oath of forever.”
“What makes you two so close? How did you meet?”
“The same way he did lots of strays in New Brunswick. Pastor McKinnon took everybody in. I was a homeless, hopeless ass of a kid.” He waved a hand in the air and shook his head. “Long story. Don’t ask. Anyway… I snatched a woman’s pocketbook outside of a grocery store when I was thirteen. So happened to be a cop around and I got caught and arrested. Trial date rolled around and the judge was about to sentence me until a chunky woman with an awful wig stood up and asked to take me in. It was Pastor Alberta McKinnon. Apparently, I’d attempted to rob her armor bearer, Evangelist Mary.” He laughed, giddily.
I couldn’t muster a matched sense of humor.
My eyes closed as I tried processing what a young LeRoy looked like and behaved like before he turned into an eclectic divo, fashion consultant extraordinaire.
“He tell you about his crackhead, whore ass cunt of an aunt?”
My neck jerked back slightly. That was harsh, spoken so expressively about his bestie. But I wanted to know more about my fake husband. Why was he so…strange? I especially wanted to know now that it was clear Raj was not gay.
I pulled the straw in my water to my lips casually. “A whore cunt, huhn?”
“A crackhead, whore ass cunt, is what I said. That bitch was fucking evil and so sexually deviant, she tried to bring her junky boyfriend—one of many—in to rape me one night!” he whispered hard, neck swinging.
LeRoy had had a lot to drink. Too much.
But I need to know more…
“Oh, yeah?” I kept my tone mellow. “And what did Ragee
do?”
“Guuuuuuuurl,” He sucked his jaws in and popped his lips as his dark long lashes fluttered. “Let me tell you! My little bed was across the basement from his and it was about two in the morning. Pastor McKinnon was upstairs in her bed, counting halos at that hour. That bitch-aunt brought him to me to settle a score. I’d slapped the shit out her perverted ass two days before then. So I guess she thought she was going to incite some perversion revenge or some shit. Girl, I woke up to being pissed on by an old ass man—on my bare back! I jumped out of my sleep, I guess subconsciously knowing the sound, feel, and weight of piss coming from the pipe. At first, I was scared and backed up to the wall. That ugly bitch laughed at me. Can you believe that?”
My face lifted as though I was going to cry. Hell, I’d heard debauchery far more horrid than this, but this was unexpected. I’d been drinking, too.
“Then when he finished and my mind was still waking the hell up, he pulled down his pants to his ankles and went to grab me. That motherfucker told me to either bend over or open my mouth.” LeRoy’s hand went to his gaping lips, reacting from the memory of the nightmare. “He said I knew the drill as a little faggot. He was going to teach me a lesson. That if I wanted to hit women, I had to be one. Girl, I started swinging on him.” LeRoy began to loosely and aimlessly swing his arms in the air.
My heart broke. If he fought anything like his reenactment, he was helpless to an adult man. Thankfully, no one could exactly hear him under the music.
“He slapped me in the face so hard, my damn ears popped. Then he yanked me off the bed. That bitch laughed as I fought for my life. I don’t know when it happened, but the next thing I knew, honey, I was on all fours, clawing the damn wall for my life!” LeRoy’s head fell to the table dramatically and I glanced around our table for Raj.
Thank god I only saw the bodies of dancing patrons, being festive.
I pushed my torso over the table to be sure he heard me. “Then what happened?”
He lifted his head and his eyes swelled wide. “Girl, next thing I knew, the evil bitch screamed, my body was yanked to the side, but after that his grip on me was gone. I heard him yell. That’s when I turned around and saw a cinnamon bundle of muscles swinging on him, punching that fucker dead in the face. That crack bastard fell to the ground and those blows kept coming, honey!”
