Chapter 10
Jasper took his time returning to his seat across from Prudence. His soul cried out for her. Everything in him demanded he pull her into his arms. Still, he ignored the overwhelming desire to hold her and dropped into his seat. He had made the right decision for both of them. After this, he would do all he could to avoid her.
“Jasper.” She met his gaze.
He took a drink of his rum, stealing his emotions. “I have spoken with Payne about you. He has agreed to your helping him while you are on board.”
“Truly? Thank you, Jasper.” She beamed. “I do so enjoy being active on ship.”
The joy in her expression pained him further. He wished he were doing this out of kindness, but his only motivation was to protect his heart—and hers. Was he wrong to push her away? She was not Anna. Prudence was warm and kind. She showed genuine emotions. He could feel that she cared for him. It was in her gentle touch, the way she smiled at him and pulled him close. Anna had always been aloof, cool. Her face never lit up at his presence or words. A crestfallen look never touched Anna’s perfect features when he departed. How had he not noticed the differences before?
“You have proven your skills, and in light of that, it seems reasonable to allow you to work alongside my crew.” She may not be Anna, but he still could not trust her, or even himself. Maybe he only imagined the differences. Regardless, he needed to keep Prudence safe. Keeping her close by would make that task easier. He hoped the arrangement with Payne would keep her out of his direct company and occupied until they reached America.
Payne had agreed to keep her from taking risks, to protect her from harm. He met Prudence’s gaze once more. “Kipp will escort you from the captain’s cabin to Payne in the mornings and return you in the evenings. You are not to roam the Marion without Kipp or Payne by your side. Are we clear?”
“Yes, Jasper. You will not regret this.”
He already did. It was clear that she saw the arrangement as some sort of gift rather than what he intended it to be. The hoyden thought he was doing her some grand gesture when all he really intended was to get her out of his cabin during the day. At night he would take to the crew quarters, using propriety as an excuse. Part of him wished it were a grand gesture, wished he could wrap her in his arms and let her show her appreciation. His heart hitched at the knowledge he could not allow her near.
“Will I be spending time with you as well?” She angled her head slightly, staring at him as she awaited his reply.
He looked down at his tumbler unable to watch as he dashed her hopes. “No. It is best that we do not keep company with one another.”
“How are you to protect me if you do not spend time with me?” Her voice faltered before she finished speaking, revealing her upset.
Jasper swallowed hard, clearing his throat before glancing back at her. “I have seen to your continued safety. Payne and Kipp are good men, trustworthy men. They will protect you while I see to it that you arrive back in America.” He looked up, his throat tightening at the pain reflected in her gaze. “This is for the best, Prudence.”
She rose to her feet, tears glistening, but not falling. “Perhaps it is best for you, but not for me.” She turned, making a hasty retreat.
Jasper watched her go, fighting the urge to chase after her. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. She deserved better, but he could not give in. If he did, it would end in disaster for them both. He was damaged, no good for any woman. His ability to trust females had been demolished at Anna’s hands. Prudence deserved a man who could love her completely.
* * * *
Prudence collided into Payne as she raced out of the galley. He reached out, taking her shoulders, steadying her as he stepped back. She cast her eyes down, having no wish to let him see her upset. “I have a headache. Take me to my room, if you please.”
He dropped his hands from her shoulders and turned to move toward the cabin. “I was rather hoping you would be ready to work, but I can see you are not fit for it just now. Come along, miss.”
She followed silently behind him, her mind playing over her time with Jasper. She could not fathom why he continued to pull her close one moment and push her away the next. When he had kissed her, both times, she’d believed he felt the same connection she did. How could he turn it off as he did? Now he seemed a million miles away. Her heart ached at the knowledge that she was losing him.
“I am told, I’m a good listener if you want to talk about what has you so upset.” Payne glanced back at her.
Prudence forced a weak half-smile. “I fear there is nothing to discuss. I simply need some time to myself.”
He stopped in front of the captain’s cabin then pulled the door open for her. “Should you change your mind, about talking or working, Kipp will know where to find me.”
She gave a slight nod before stepping into the room and pushing the door closed behind her. A tear trickled haphazardly from her eye. She dashed it away, settling herself on the bed. She’d never wanted to care for Jasper, but here she sat hopelessly in love with him. He had her heart, there was no denying it. Worse yet, she was powerless to take it back.
Oh, if she could just go back to that day in Papa’s office. How different might things be if she’d obeyed his wishes and remained behind? Might he still be alive? Had she not been aboard to distract Papa, he may have been able to defend himself and save their ship. Surely Louisa would be safe for she too would have remained in Boston.
Perhaps it was for the best that she and Jasper remain distant. Everyone she loved had been met with ill fates. Mama died giving her life, Father and Louisa were murdered while sailing with her. Jasper would likely meet a similar fate. Her shoulders shook as she drew in a steadying breath. It would be best to let him go, to obey his wishes to remain at a distance until she reached America. She would much rather remember him alive and doing what he loves than witness his death.
Prudence curled up on the bed, giving herself permission to stop fighting her rising sorrow. After a good crying jag, she would pull herself together and join Payne. The work would keep her busy—too busy to think about Jasper or anything else.
* * * *
“How is she?” Jasper asked.
“Sleeping now, Captain. I thought she’d never stop sobbing.” Kipp dropped the arm full of maps and charts he’d been holding onto the table in front of him.
“What the bloody hell did you do to the chit?” Hawkins asked, before taking a swallow of the rum he held. “Perhaps I can make her feel better.”
“Do not dream of it.” Jasper leveled a menacing stair on his cousin.
Hawkins chuckled, then set about spreading the maps and charts out. “If you do not, someone else will.”
Jasper released a deep breath. “Return to your station, Kipp.”
“Aye, Captain. I will guard her with my life.”
“You must not place too high a value on your hide, Kipp.” Hawkins hollered after the boy.
“Must you be so obnoxious?” Jasper peered at Hawkins, seriously considering fisticuffs. The man was lucky they were family for any other man would be out cold for inciting his anger—no, jealousy—in such a way.
“Come now. You know as well as I that, the moment she reaches America, men will be circling her. Hell, our entire crew would be chasing her skirts if they had leave to.”
The very idea vexed Jasper. What was worse was Hawkins spoke the truth. A man would have to be blind and half-witted not to see what an amazing woman Prudence was. She possessed beauty, brains, and intelligence—he’d never met a more perfect woman. Anna could not hold a candle to Prudence with her cool façade and fake sincerity. All it took was Jasper returning from Waterloo scarred for Anna to cast him aside. Prudence bared her own scars with grace and confidence. Surely his would not bother her.
“Jasper,” Hawkins pulled his attention from his ponderings. “What do you intend to do about her?”
He would go on living without her once she was gone as he
had before she’d arrived in his life. With time and distance he would get beyond his emotions for her. He had to.
“There is nothing to be done beyond returning her to America.” He bent over the charts, studying the American coast. “The Americans do not know to watch for us. They would not recognize Marion for a pirate ship unless we were flying our symbol.”
Hawkins rounded the table and began studying the maps himself. “A boon for sure. Still we need to be careful. Lay low, if we are to return her and maintain our freedom.”
“We will fly our English, do our best to appear as a merchant ship, and hug the coast.” Jasper trailed a long finger across the Atlantic to the coast of Maine. “We will come in here. It is rugged and least likely to have a heavy navel concentration.”
Hawkins nodded when Jasper looked up at him.
“Then we will traverse the coast down to Massachusetts. Once there we will find a cove or other concealed spot near Boston to weigh anchor.”
Hawkins lifted his rum for another long draw. “It seems you have everything worked out, except for how to get her ashore, that is.”
Jasper straightened and grinned at Hawkins. “That will be the easiest part.” He would take Hawkins and Payne along with Prudence in the skiff, then row into her shipyard. He had only to discover its location from her. He had no doubt she trusted him and her desire to return was evident. It should not be overly taxing to get directions from her.
Chapter 11
For the past sennight, Prudence had spent her days assisting Payne and watching Jasper from a distance. Her nights were spent curled up on Jasper’s bed, trying desperately not to think about him. Not to love him. Even now, she watched him from where she worked, helping Payne repair a line. He stood near the bow, conversing with Hawkins. Every so often he glanced toward her and Payne, but he never directly acknowledged her. It hurt her deep in her soul to be so close to him, yet so far away at the same time.
Telling herself it was all for the best did naught to sooth her. Something inside her insisted she needed Jasper, belonged with him. And she would swear she witnessed tenderness and longing in his gaze as well. He would glance in her direction, sometimes even meet her gaze for a heartbeat, then his eyes would lose all expression and he would look away, leaving her to wonder if she’d imagined it to begin with.
She’d spent countless hours going over all the reasons why they did not suit. He was a pirate, likely to perish as everyone else she loved had, but none of the reasons she gave herself changed the way she felt for him. Her sleep was sorely lacking, and she had begun to think she may be going a bit mad. Prudence nibbled her bottom lip as she watched Jasper lean against the rail and willed him to look in her direction.
“Miss Prudence.”
She pulled her attention from Jasper at the sound of Payne’s voice.
He met her gaze, a worried grin pulling at his lips. “You have been out of sorts all week. The sight of your sorrow tugs at me. Sure wish you’d tell me what ails you?”
Prudence drew in a deep breath. Perhaps she should confide in him. Payne had proven himself a friend, after all. He’d taken her under his wing, allowed her to work with him and had not pressed her on any topic. Even when she let slip that her parents were dead, he did not push for more information. Simply gave his condolences and handed her more oakum for patching leaks. Furthermore, Jasper considered him a friend. Mayhap he had some insight that would help her to either get over Jasper or get through to him.
“I fear there is no help for my issue.” She fed Payne more line as she glanced at Jasper.
Payne worked to secure the new line in place of the damaged one. “Captain?”
“How did you guess?” She jerked her attention back to Payne.
“The way you watch him. Your eyes light up when he comes into view, and you seem a great distance away from the task at hand. When he turns our way, you smile for a second before that forlorn look overtakes you again.”
“I never meant to slack on my duties. I am sor—”
“Does he know?” Payne looked at her with one shaggy, blond brow slightly raised.
Drat! Was it so plain for the rest of the crew to see as well? If Payne could see her love for Jasper, could Jasper see it too? Should she go to him? Lay out her heart before him? If she was right about him having feelings for her as well, perhaps they could mend whatever rift lay between them. But what if she were wrong? She swallowed past the tightness in her throat. “I do not believe he does.”
“Do you intend to tell him?” Payne worked to tie a knot, glancing between her and the line.
“When we last spoke, he told me it was for the best that we remain distant.” She glanced back to where Jasper had been but found the space void. “Perhaps he was correct.” Even as she spoke the words, she knew she did not believe them. For how could she so desire a man that was best left alone? Why would her heart and soul ache for him if they did not belong together?
“He is a stubborn fool.” Payne reached out and patted one of Pru’s hands. “But he is also a good man. You should tell him how you feel. Do not let him push you away when it is plain he feels the same for you.”
Prudence’s heart skipped a beat at the words. “Why do you say that?”
“I can see it on his face as well. Not to mention all the menial tasks he has been doing on deck just to stay near you.”
“I would have sworn I had seen a tender for me in his eyes, but never considered the time he spent on deck.” She thought back to all the things she had watched Jasper do over the past sennight: coil rope, move cargo, repair rails… All things better suited to his crew. “I see your point, but am still not convinced I should go to him.”
“He is mostly bark, Miss. Under his rough exterior he is quite honorable. A lord even. Did you know he sponsors an orphanage in England? Or that he fought valiantly at Waterloo?”
She shook her head, eyes wide as she hung onto Payne’s words.
“We only attack other pirate ships and have rescued merchant ships on several occasions. Slavers too. Countless men and women have been saved at the Captain’s hands. Every farthing the captain makes, he sends back to the orphanage. He is a good man, deserving of love, just as you are a good woman. Do not allow whatever past hurts the two of you have to stand in the way of what could be a happy future.”
Prudence released her lip she’d been nibbling at, her mind swirling at Payne’s words. Jasper—a lord—saving people—sponsoring an orphanage—why in heaven’s name had he not told her? She’d come to terms with him being a pirate, recognized honor and goodness in him, but she never would have guessed at this. It changed everything. “I will go to him straight away. Excuse me.”
Payne winked at her before giving a sharp nod. “Let me finish this last knot and I will—”
She did not allow Payne to finish before quickly making her way across the main deck, intent on not waiting another moment to confront Jasper. Pray let him be in the galley. She rounded a barrel before stepping over a small bucket on her way to the ladderway. Not at all sure whether to be cross or excited, she battled her stirring emotions as she descended the steps, making her way below deck.
“Where is your escort?” Jasper bellowed up at her.
Caught entirely off guard, her foot slipped, sending her sliding toward the floorboards. Drat. Now she’d made a cake of herself before even opening her mouth. She reached for the rungs, seeking purchase. Her gaze met Jasper’s and she gave up her attempt to rescue herself.
He stood at the base of the ladderway, his arms open in preparation of saving her. A look of shear worry etched on his face. She stretched her arms out ready to wrap them around him, wanting nothing more than to let him be her hero if only because it would place her in his arms.
* * * *
Jasper braced himself for Prudence’s impact, his feet shoulder-length apart and arms out as he moved directly in front of the ladder. His breath had caught at the sight of her falling, and he’d yet to release it. He w
ould catch her or break her fall trying. Either way he would keep her safe from harm. Then he would give the hoyden a tongue lashing for her foolishness.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, stopping her decent, pulling her backside against him. Without thought, he turned her in his embrace and brought her tight against him. He buried his face in her silky hair, his pulse hammering. She could have been seriously injured.
He’d managed to save her pretty little neck. Now the time had come to wring it.
He sat her away from him, leveling his gaze on hers. “What are you doing traipsing about by yourself? I gave you strict orders not to roam about the ship without Kipp or Payne to ensure your safety.”
“What are doing withholding important information from me?” She challenged, her eyes narrowed, she pressed on. “Did you think I had no right to know? That I would not care? That my knowing would not change things between us?”
His mind spun. What had she discovered? Had someone shared his secrets? Told her about his past? The fact that he was a lord, a war hero, or had she found out about Anna and his resulting broken heart? Maybe it was just the orphanage? Jasper stepped closer, taking her arm. “Do not deflect my questions.”
“I owe you nothing. You lied to me. A lie of omission perhaps, but still a lie.”
His mind raced, attempting to figure out her tirade, but he came up empty. “What in bloody hell are you going on about, Prudence?”
“I know all about you—everything.” She tipped her chin defiantly. “I want to hear you say it.”
He leaned in, his breath fanning her cheek, annoyance warming his blood. “All of what?”
“Everything is different now, my lord. It all makes sense.”
Jasper released her arm then stepped back a few feet before pacing toward her again. Who dared tell her his secret? Payne, Kipp, or Hawkins? She’d been spending time with all of them, though most recently Payne. He’d see the guilty party punished. His birthright had no bearing on his current life. A fact he thought his men understood. He’d walked away from that life at the war’s conclusion. “My birth status changes nothing. I am no lord regardless of who my sire is. I am a pirate, and a pirate I shall remain until my last breath is drawn.”
Captivated by the Captain (Fabled Love Book 2) Page 7
