by Anne Mather
But Ally stopped herself right there. For heaven’s sake, who was she to talk? She was letting her feelings for Raul influence every aspect of her life and she had to stop it. However long she decided to prolong this agony, sooner or later she would have to go back to England, and it was the problems that she faced there that should be occupying her thoughts now.
‘Should we have coffee on the patio?’ suggested Isabel a few moments later and as there seemed to be general agreement around the table Ally got eagerly to her feet. Although the room was air-conditioned, she couldn’t wait to breathe some clean fresh air, and, surging ahead of the others, she stepped outside.
A low wall topped by a wrought-iron railing formed a barrier at the far side of the terrace and, drawn by the sound of the ocean, Ally made her way towards it. Gripping the spikes at the top of the railings, she stared out across the moonlit garden and realised that the sea was only about fifty yards from the house.
‘Do you like the view?’
Raul’s question alerted her to the fact that he had come to stand beside her. In his charcoal silk suit and pale grey shirt he was more formally dressed than she was used to and it was almost impossible to believe that only twenty-four hours ago he had stood naked before her.
How could he? she wondered achingly. How could he be so cool one minute and so passionate the next? Her head was in turmoil and he was behaving as if they were only the slightest of acquaintances when they both knew they were so much more.
Or she knew it, she amended, aware that she was allowing her emotions far too much licence. Why couldn’t she accept that what had happened between them meant so much more to her?
‘It’s very nice,’ she replied inadequately now, without looking at him. Not that she needed to, she acknowledged. She’d been sitting opposite him all evening, and, although she’d purposefully avoided his eyes, she was well aware of how attractive he looked. ‘I didn’t realise we were so close to the sea.’
‘Finisterre,’ remarked Raul carelessly, propping himself against the rail beside her. ‘It’s Latin for land’s end. I believe there’s a story that my great-great-grandfather’s mistress named it, but no one really knows.’ He paused. ‘We like it.’
‘I like it, too,’ said Ally tightly. ‘Who wouldn’t? It’s beautiful.’
‘Thank you.’ Raul’s tone was sardonic. ‘I’ll be sure to pass your approval on to my parents.’
Ally gave him a swift look, not quite sure how to take him, and then, giving a shake of her head, she said, ‘Where’s your fiancée? Shouldn’t you be entertaining her?’
‘I don’t have a fiancée,’ replied Raul flatly. ‘And since when have you cared what I do?’
Ally pressed her lips together. His barb had hurt more than he had intended, she was sure, and it took an effort to respond brightly. ‘You’re right. It isn’t anything to do with me. I had no right to offer any opinions where you’re concerned.’
‘You had every right,’ he muttered then, turning to face the railings, his mouth compressed into a thin line. ‘And it was my fault. After last night I was sure I could provoke some reaction. Put it down to the fact that I have spent the whole evening wishing we were alone together and now that we are, we’re wasting time discussing the name of the house.’
Ally’s breath caught in her throat. ‘I don’t believe you’ve spent the whole evening wishing we were alone together,’ she protested. ‘If Julia’s attitude was anything to go by, you’ve certainly convinced her otherwise.’
Raul swore. ‘If you’re judging my feelings on the strength of Julia’s actions, then forget it. My would-be fiancée was behaving as she did for two reasons. One: to annoy my brother. She knows Carlos is crazy about her, and God knows sometimes I think she feels the same way about him. And two: because she has seen how my parents have taken to you, and she does not wish to be—what do you say?—sidelined?’
Ally’s eyes widened. ‘I don’t believe you.’
‘It’s the truth.’
‘But Julia loves you—’
‘Does she? I think Julia has an eye to the main chance. Carlos, as you know, is not my father’s eldest son.’
Ally’s jaw dropped and she hurriedly retrieved it. Then, because she couldn’t let this go on, she whispered, ‘You shouldn’t say such things.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because—because you’re going to marry her.’
‘Am I?’ His mouth tightened. ‘A year ago, my mother developed a breast tumour. It was operable, but her chances at that time were not brilliant and her doctors warned us to anticipate the worst.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Happily, surgery and radiotherapy performed a minor miracle. She is not cured, but her prognosis is decidedly more optimistic.’
‘I see.’ Ally didn’t know why he was telling her this.
‘No, you don’t see,’ he contradicted her harshly. ‘You have to understand that when she was first taken ill, we were all desperate to do anything to make life easier for her. Her greatest wish was to see me married, with children of my own.’ He shook his head. ‘Until then, I hadn’t seriously considered marrying anyone. Selfishly, I suppose, I assumed there was no hurry, and although Julia and I were friends, I had never considered her in that light.’
‘So what changed?’
Raul uttered a short mirthless laugh. ‘I could be a total jerk and say Julia did, but I have to take the blame for my own actions. She was there, and she was obviously willing and I took advantage of it.’
‘You started a relationship?’ asked Ally softly, and Raul sighed.
‘If you want to call it that.’
‘Did your mother and father approve?’
‘At that time, I don’t think any of us considered that aspect of it. My mother was very ill; dying, maybe. I just wanted to please her.’ His lips twisted. ‘As they say, it seemed a good idea at the time.’
‘It’s still a good idea,’ she said quickly, remembering what Suzanne had told her. ‘I hope you’ll be very happy together.’
‘No, you don’t.’ Raul’s eyes darkened. ‘Goddammit, Ally, I didn’t know I was going to meet you when I got involved with Julia. I’d spent twenty-nine years of my life doing pretty much as I pleased, and the idea that some woman might come along and knock the legs out from under me seemed totally unbelievable.’
Ally drew back. ‘I don’t think we should be having this conversation.’
‘Why not?’ Raul stared at her. ‘Are you going to tell me you don’t feel anything for me? Or does the fact that your husband’s apparently had a change of heart make a difference? I’ve been thinking about what you told me. My God, I can think of little else. And, although you insisted you were glad to be out of that relationship, I wonder if that was not all bravado. Perhaps you are still in love with him after all.’
‘Perhaps—perhaps—’ Ally tried to say Perhaps I am, but the words stuck in her throat. ‘However I—however I feel about Jeff,’ she said instead, ‘that has no bearing on—on your situation.’ Her throat was tight as she added fiercely, ‘Besides, can you imagine how your mother would feel if you told her what you were doing last night?’ Her cheeks filled with shameful colour. ‘My God, I’m not convinced your father wouldn’t want to throw me out of the house!’
‘Why?’
Raul’s eyes impaled her, and she shifted helplessly from one foot to the other. ‘You know why,’ she told him. ‘Ours is just—just a sexual relationship. If, indeed, it is any kind of relationship at all.’
‘You know better than that,’ he said harshly. ‘And I am not sure you are right. For me at least—’
‘Please.’ Ally drew a trembling breath. ‘Don’t try to make a fool of me. I am not the kind of woman your family needs. You know that. I am too old. I can’t promise you the children your mother craves. My children are grown up. They’re ready to start families of their own. Can you imagine how they would feel if I told them I was going to start again?’
‘Ah, that is the real crux of the
matter, isn’t it?’ said Raul bitterly. ‘I think that, whatever you say, you care more about Jeff—about his children—than you do about me.’
That’s not true!
The words trembled on Ally’s tongue, but they were never spoken. Almost instinctively, she sensed that they were no longer alone. Juan Ramirez had come to join them at the balustrade, and she saw Raul thrust his balled fists into his jacket pockets as his father spoke.
‘Are you admiring our view, Mrs Sloan?’ Juan asked softly, and Ally wondered uneasily if he had known what was going on. ‘You must come and see it in daylight. I think I can promise you that it is much more impressive then.’
‘I’m sure it is.’ Ally knew her palms were sweating and she hastily withdrew them from the railings. Then, seeking something agreeable to say, she appended, ‘The sea seems so close.’
‘It is.’ Juan smiled. ‘Which was very convenient for my ancestors. I am sure someone has told you that Rodrigo Ramirez was what we call these days a freebooter. It is a polite way of saying he was a pirate. Isn’t that so, Rafael?’
‘If you say so, Papá.’
Raul’s voice was stiff and Ally was conscious of his father’s gaze moving speculatively between them. ‘I hope you are not neglecting the civilities, Rafael,’ he observed drily. ‘Mrs Sloan looks a little distressed. What can you have been saying to her?’
‘Nothing of importance, evidently, Papá,’ replied Raul politely, squaring his shoulders. ‘If you will both excuse me…’
He strode away and Ally forced herself not to look after him. She was very much afraid that, if she did so, her heart would be in her eyes for all to see. But how could she believe that Raul loved her, let alone consider betraying her friend in that way? The situation was impossible. She had to leave.
‘My son seems—angry, Mrs Sloan.’ Juan watched the younger man go with a frown drawing his greying brows together. ‘I must apologise. I cannot think what has got into him.’
Ally blew out a breath. ‘I can’t imagine,’ she lied. Then, because something more was expected of her, she murmured, ‘And, please, won’t you call me Ally? Mrs Sloan makes me sound so—’ She had been about to say old, but she stopped herself. ‘So like a stranger.’
‘And you are not that, are you, Mrs Sloan?’ To her embarrassment, Juan chose not to use the less formal form of address. ‘I get the feeling that you and my son know one another rather well. Would I be right in thinking that?’
Ally licked her dry lips. ‘I think you should ask him, señor,’ she murmured unhappily, and he gave her a considering look.
‘Perhaps so,’ he conceded. ‘But I am asking you.’ He paused. ‘How well do you know Rafael, Mrs Sloan? Rather better than we are aware, I believe.’
Ally shifted uneasily. ‘I think you should ask him,’ she said again. She hesitated. ‘I shouldn’t have come here. I realise that now. I hope you’ll forgive me for—for abusing your hospitality.’
Juan frowned. ‘In what way have you abused my hospitality, Mrs Sloan? My wife and I invited you here.’
‘Yes, but—’ Ally caught sight of Suzanne watching them from the other side of the patio and stifled a groan. There was no sign of Raul and she thought she could guess what her friend was thinking. ‘I—I seem to be in—in everybody’s way.’
Juan shrugged. ‘You are not in my way, Mrs Sloan. Nor, I would guess, in my wife’s. I cannot speak for your friends, of course. They may have their own agenda. But, as far as Rafael is concerned, I got the impression that he wanted rather more than you were prepared to offer.’
Ally’s cheeks blazed. ‘Señor—’
‘Do not worry, Mrs Sloan. I shall keep my observations to myself. And now, if you will excuse me also, I should attend to my other guests.’
‘Of course.’
Ally’s voice was choked, and, with a polite gesture, Juan strolled across the patio to where the others were gathered. Coffee had been served and Ally knew she was expected to join them. Suzanne was already angry with her for what had happened earlier. She hadn’t said anything, of course, but Ally had known her for too long not to be able to interpret the reason for the coolness in her attitude towards her at dinner. And now, having lured Julia’s would-be suitor away from his duties—as Suzanne no doubt perceived it—Ally had had the nerve to sequester Raul’s father, too. The glance the other woman had sent in her direction only minutes ago had said it all and Ally was already dreading the ride home.
‘Won’t you come and join us, Ally?’
Isabel Ramirez apparently had no problem with using her name, and, because she knew it was the best offer she was likely to get, Ally pasted on a smile and walked stiffly back to take the seat Isabel had indicated. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’ll have coffee, yes?’ suggested Isabel, summoning the waiter to attend to her guest’s needs. ‘Were you admiring our view?’
‘We were beginning to think that you and the railings were joined at the hip,’ put in Suzanne tartly, her words conveying only a fraction of her irritation, Ally was sure. ‘For heaven’s sake, Ally, what on earth were you and Raul arguing about?’
‘Arguing?’
Ally was taken aback. She hadn’t been aware that the tone of the discussion she’d been having with Raul was evident, let alone audible. But obviously Suzanne had detected some antagonism between them and she was frantically trying to think of an answer when Juan intervened.
‘I think Rafael was offering the opinion that children don’t necessarily know what is best for their parents,’ he remarked casually. ‘You have children, do you not, Ally? Twins, I believe?’
Now how did he know that?
Ally blinked and stared at him with uncomprehending eyes. ‘I—yes. Yes, I do,’ she agreed, not altogether understanding his meaning. ‘A boy and a girl.’
‘How wonderful!’ It was Isabel who spoke now. ‘Do they live with you?’
‘Sam—Samantha does,’ said Ally, once again conscious of being the cynosure of all eyes. ‘Ryan’s at university and he shares a flat with—with a friend.’
‘With his girlfriend,’ Julia offered smugly. ‘Isn’t that right, Aunt Ally?’
‘And your daughter?’ went on Isabel, as if Julia hadn’t spoken. ‘What does she do?’
‘Oh—she’s at university, too, but she’s able to live at home,’ murmured Ally awkwardly. ‘But she is planning on getting married next year.’
‘Lucky her,’ said Julia sulkily. ‘It must be nice to feel wanted.’
‘You’re wanted,’ said Carlos at once, and Suzanne gave her daughter a warning look when he stretched out his hand to take Julia’s. He grinned, indifferent to her mother’s pique. ‘Wanna take a walk along the beach?’
‘I think it’s time we were making a move,’ declared Peter quellingly, recognising the look on his wife’s face. ‘It’s been very enjoyable, as always, Isabel. You and Juan must come and have a meal at the hotel.’
‘You’re very kind.’
Isabel was polite, but Ally sensed such an event was unlikely. As Suzanne had said, there seemed little rapport between the two women.
Suzanne got to her feet. ‘You’re right,’ she said, giving her husband a thin smile. ‘We mustn’t outstay our welcome.’ She glanced about her, as if she’d just noticed that Raul was missing. ‘Oh—where’s Rafael?’
‘Who cares?’ muttered Julia sulkily, casting a covetous look at Carlos. ‘I don’t know why he invited me here. I’ve hardly spoken to him.’
‘Julia!’ Suzanne’s reproof was automatic. ‘You had Raul—Rafael’s undivided attention all through dinner.’ She pulled a wry face at Juan and Isabel, but when her gaze encountered Ally’s, a certain maliciousness entered her expression. ‘I’m sure he’d rather be spending time with you than entertaining his parents’—other—guests.’
‘Perhaps.’
Julia was unconvinced, but Ally, who had been expecting it, was not surprised at Suzanne’s unsubtle reference to the conversation she had had with Raul. She
was quite sure her friend’s hesitation over the word ‘other’ had been because she had wanted to say ‘older’ but had chickened out at the last minute.
Raul appeared as they were leaving, and Suzanne was somewhat mollified by his assurance that he’d be seeing Julia again very soon. He barely looked at Ally, but that was all right because she didn’t look at him. If he wanted to believe that she still cared about Jeff, so be it, she thought fiercely. It was probably best for all concerned if they didn’t see one another again, and perhaps, unwittingly, she had found the ideal way to end it.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BY THE end of the week, Ally had decided that, whatever happened, she had to return to England.
It was not because of anything Suzanne had done. On the contrary, despite a certain coolness towards her on their way back from Finisterre, the other woman had made no further reference to the Ramirezes’ dinner party. And, as Raul appeared to have resumed his relationship with Julia, Suzanne seemed content to forget what had happened.
Ally couldn’t.
In the days that had followed, she’d found herself more and more on edge, and although she told herself she was glad Raul was staying away from her, the words had a very hollow ring to them.
Which was stupid; she knew that. But, unfortunately, knowing something was true didn’t necessarily put an end to it. Just because there was no future in the brief affair—affair?—she’d had with Raul, she couldn’t forget it. She doubted she ever would and knowing he was with Julia just twisted the knife.
So she’d decided that whatever Suzanne said she’d make Jeff her excuse for going home. And it was true; she was concerned about Sam’s attitude towards him. Her daughter had rung her a couple more times during the past few days, and Ally was feeling pretty mean at leaving the whole responsibility for dealing with her father to her.
