by Megan Linski
“Is your dad still around?”
“No.” Cairo’s eyes are sad. He stares down at the mossy ground as he says, “He vanished, like Thames’ dad. I believe he was imprisoned by those of his kind, or worse, executed.”
“What?” I rear back, shocked. “How?”
“I don’t have the details. But you must understand. For a human to be with an angel is sacrilege. It’s one of the worst sins you can commit,” Cairo says. “They came for him one night when I was very little, and they didn’t bring him back. That’s all I know.”
“But there are more of you. You said so. If that’s true, more than a few angels are having relationships with humans,” I argue.
“Yes, but we don’t age. I only said there were a dozen or so of us. That’s throughout all of history. Thames and I are the youngest,” he says. “You get to a certain age, then you stop. We’re here till Judgment Day. Then the big guy gets to decide what happens to us, I guess.” Cairo points upward, and my eyebrows raise.
“I’m confused,” I say. “If it’s such a sin for an angel to sleep with a human, why didn’t whoever is in charge get rid of you as a baby or whatever?”
“The angels don’t bother with us. That’s up to the Nephilim council. That’s who I work with,” Cairo says. “They gave me the choice of working with them or peaceful euthanization when I was very young. You can guess what I picked.”
“So they’ll let you live, but only if you agree to serve them forever?” I ask, outraged. “That’s just sick.”
“Those are the rules. It’s a dangerous, complicated world I live in, Cassia,” he says.
“If you guys hunt demons, what about Thames?” I question. “He has demon blood. Shouldn’t he be on the kill list?”
“Thames is a special case. All the Nephilim voted when he was born, and they agreed to spare Thames’ life so long as he didn’t harm a mortal, and if he agreed to help us out every now and then whenever we’re shorthanded,” Cairo says. “As far as I know, Thames is the only one of his kind. The other cambions were hunted down long ago by the council.”
Cairo looks at me. His stare is intense and devouring. “Do you see why I didn’t want to drag anyone into it, especially someone who I could potentially end up caring about? Demons and I go back and forth constantly. They attacked you once before, and they didn’t even know you, you were just someone in the way. What do you think would happen if they found out that I—”
“I don’t care,” I say instantly. “I don’t give a damn what you are, or who you work for, or where you come from. I just want to be with you.”
Cairo stares. I tap my thumb on his hand and ask, “The book said you could fly. Does that mean you have wings?”
Cairo smiles. He lets go of my hand, and stands. He takes a few steps back and says, “I’ve never shown anyone before. Nobody except Thames and my mother, of course. Don’t be scared.”
“I won’t be,” I say. I stand up from the log. “I just want to see you, as you. Like you truly are.”
Cairo nods. Slowly, he takes off his shirt and tosses it to the ground, revealing his thick, corded muscles. He seems more nervous than I am. He closes his eyes, and his form begins to glow with a yellow halo, like it did before. But this time, it’s different. It shines outward like the sun, encompassing me in warmth and light. From behind him, two marvelous wings begin to appear. They’re transparent at first, but then they become solid, blessed with downy white feathers that ruffle in the slight wind. They’re twice as tall as he is, nearly twelve feet from tip to tip. He turns once, to show me. I see that his wings emerge from his shoulder blades.
He flaps them once before facing me again. I see that there’s true fear in his eyes. He’s afraid that I’ll run away. That I’ll call him a freak.
I take a few steps forward and dare to stroke the feathers. They’re tender as a cloud underneath my fingertips. “They’re soft. Like an owl’s.” I smile.
His face beams in relief. I step forward and put my hands upon his chest. Everything about him is perfect, and wonderful, and right.
“They’re beautiful.” Tears are welling up in my eyes at the sight of his glorious wings surrounding me, surrounding us. “I love you.”
Cairo reaches up to stroke my cheek. His wings enclose around me, to bring me into a tight embrace. I crush myself against his body, breathing in his darkness, his light. I know how he feels without him having to say anything.
Believe me, I know.
When I wake up the next day, there’s a large white feather tied to a note that’s sitting on my bedside table. Curious, I untie the letter from the feather and unroll it, reading quickly.
Cassia,
There’s a rogue demon running around somewhere in the area. Thames and I have already taken finals, so we’ll be spending Christmas break tracing it. We’ll be back after the first of the year, earlier if we manage to catch it.
Hope you have a Merry Christmas.
- C
I put the letter down on the side table with a sigh of disappointment. The sinking feeling in my gut gets lower and lower when I realize that it’s going to be a whole three weeks without Cairo.
Cairo and I spent most of yesterday talking. He walked me down to the beach, and around the mountain side. We didn’t talk about anything heavy, just boring stuff like school and gossip. I think it was his way of trying to normalize things.
I cling to my old stuffed owl, pretending it’s him. We didn’t talk about our feelings after I told him I loved him, nor did either one of us confirm if we were really in a relationship or not, which makes this all the more confusing. He hasn’t kissed me yet, and I was too chicken to make the first move.
By all accounts, we’re still just friends, but that note made it seem like he thinks we’re much more. He could’ve texted me all that stuff, but he chose to teleport into my bedroom and leave a note with one of his feathers behind while I was sleeping. That’s obviously a romantic gesture, right?
I decide to braid the feather into my hair. As I do, my thoughts are consumed by Cairo, like always. Is he really chasing after a demon? He must be, if Thames is going with him. Is this his way of trying to create some distance after what I confessed yesterday?
Then again, his bosses wanted to euthanize him. I doubt they’re very forgiving about taking time off, even during the holidays.
It feels strange at school without Thames and Cairo there. I have the girls, so I’m not bored, but I am somewhat lonely. Not in a lonely for people kind of way, but lonely for Cairo, like his presence is the only thing that can satisfy the longing in my chest.
I guess it’s kind of a good thing the boys aren’t there, though, because they aren’t there to distract me during finals. I’m still secretly hoping to get into flight school, though it’s a far-off dream. But if my friends think I can do it maybe there’s a way I can get a scholarship. I don’t want to let them down, so I focus on school for the last week and try to keep my mind off of angels and demons.
It’s a really weird Christmas, mostly because I actually have presents for the first time in years. Isolde gives me about thirty(!) or so presents to unwrap in the morning before cooking a full eight-course Christmas dinner for the afternoon. It seems a little weird to put in all this work for just two people, but she’s having a blast, so I let her go ham.
“Usually I fly across the country to visit my parents on Christmas, but since you’re here, they told me to stay home and have a good-old fashioned Northern Michigan Christmas,” Isolde says. “I haven’t had one like this since I was a child. Hopefully my folks will fly out here to be with us next year.”
I open my mouth to speak before thinking better of it and putting a strip of ham inside instead. Does she actually think I want to be here next year?
…Do I want to be here next year? Sitting on the couch after dinner, watching holiday movies with her later, eating Christmas cookies on an already stuffed stomach, makes me think that maybe I do.
Later
, around midnight, Isolde and I go into the backyard and watch large, puffy snowflakes dance down. In Ann Arbor it was a toss-up if we’d get snow or rain for Christmas, but up here, it’s different. I’ve never seen so much snow. When Isolde throws a snowball that smacks me right on the side of my face, I give it right back. By the time we, a forty-year old woman and a seventeen year old girl, are done having snowball fights and building forts, it’s nearly 1 a.m.
Lying in bed that night in my new pajamas, I realize that this is the best Christmas I’ve had since the last one I had with my mom. I clutch my owl to me, my mother’s last Christmas gift, and wonder what she’d think if she could see me now. Angels exist, so heaven has to as well, right? Can my mom see me?
“I miss you, Mom,” I whisper. The sound of the snow falling lightly against the window echoes with the words.
I let out a contented sigh. The only thing that would make it more perfect was if Cairo was here. Unfortunately, I have… fourteen days to go.
Sigh.
I check my phone often the first few days after Christmas. When I don’t get anything, I assume Cairo and Thames are too busy to text or call, so I decide to take up as much time as I can with the girls instead. We do shopping, have sleepovers, do girly things. It’s nice, because never before was I able to forge connections with girls. It’s almost like I can pretend I’m normal. When the girls are busy I try to hang out with Isolde, and help her with the household cleaning.
But I can’t be preoccupied every moment of the day. There are inevitable stints of boredom where I’m found sitting around on my laptop and checking out flight schools while wondering what Cairo’s up to. I stumble to my bed on New Year’s, sipping yet another flute of champagne, and check my email instead. Still nothing.
I have never been so eager to return to school in my life than I am when the second week of January rolls around. I tell Isolde a hasty goodbye and sprint into the school on the first day, ignoring everyone complaining about being back.
My heart sings when I see Thames waiting by my locker. I tackle him full-force, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing the juice out of him.
Thames gasps for breath, then chuckles. “Miss me?”
“Only every moment you were gone.” I hug him again before I pull away. “Did you guys catch the demon?”
Thames grimaces. “No. It’s a tough one, an old one. It can’t be fooled by me and Cairo’s usual tricks. The council’s going to review how to outsmart it before we go after it again.”
I’m about to ask where Cairo is before I see him. The world stops. Thames notices and moves out of the way, so I can get to him. I walk calmly to the other side of the hall, where Cairo’s waiting all alone. His smile, soft and light, brightens up my entire day.
“Hello, Cassia.” He opens up an arm for me to fall into. I wrap my arms around him. He crushes me against his large, sturdy form, wrapping me tight. “I missed you when I was away.”
“I missed you, too.” I look up. “I’m sorry you didn’t catch what you were looking for.”
“It’s all right. Nothing like spending Christmas with a sullen Thames in the woods, right?” He laughs, and I laugh along with him.
The bell rings, ruining my moment. Cairo whispers into my ear, “Meet me behind the gym after school. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
My stomach twirls. A surprise? What could it be? He ducks down to kiss my cheek, and I swear, my feet levitate a few inches off the ground. “See you later.”
His casual stride as he walks away is enough to make any woman weak in the knees. I pick my eyes off the floor and force myself into Chemistry, where Thames is already waiting.
I don’t think he saw the kiss, because I don’t think he wanted to. His eyes aren’t meeting mine. Something’s changed between us since he left. I can feel it. But what is it? Did he and Cairo have some sort of talk about me during their mission? I’d bet anything they did.
“Hey, pass me your notes? I forgot mine,” I lie.
Thames doesn’t say anything. But he gives me his syllabus, holding it out at bay like it’s some sort of offering chip.
“And a pencil, please?” I add.
Thames tosses one over instead of handing it to me. He usually doesn’t mind touching my hand, but now he’s purposefully avoiding it. What gives?
I try not to think about Thames’ strange behavior and instead concentrate on the surprise Cairo has waiting for me. The day whirls by in anticipation. But in sixth hour, when I’m taking a bathroom break, something happens that completely gets my mind off of the surprise. I’m on my way back to class when I hear hushed voices around the corner. Just as interested in the latest school drama as everyone else, I press myself to the wall, listening in. As fate would have it, it’s Thames and Cairo.
“Thames, we’ve been over this. I told her what she needed to know without embarrassing you,” Cairo says. His voice is firm, and angry. “Let it go.”
“You didn’t tell her the whole truth!” Thames snaps. “You made it sound like my dad ran off and left! Your dad was the one who chased him out!”
Chased him out? This is interesting. I press against the wall and lean in closer.
“Do you really think it would’ve lasted? The council would’ve found him and destroyed him. My dad was only doing his job.” Cairo’s voice gets deeper, like he’s unwilling to budge.
“My dad loved Mom. You can’t say that wasn’t true,” Thames growls. He’s losing his temper. “He was turning his life around, becoming good again before an angel interfered. You act like your father is some sort of saint, but let’s face it, he committed the same sins mine did.”
“My father didn’t take Mom away from him,” Cairo says, though it’s more of a warning.
Resentment bristles in Thames’ voice. The air around the area gets considerably hotter, more humid. “What your dad did wasn’t right. Now you’re trying to do the same thing. Back off, Cairo. Before I make you.”
I gasp loudly. I realize the mistake I’ve made too late. Thames and Cairo peer round the corner, and I’m stuck standing there stupidly with a hand over my mouth, eyes wide.
“Sorry.” I grasp my hands. “I was just walking by, I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s all right, Cassia.” Cairo’s the first one to speak. “We still on for later?”
I nod. Cairo smiles at me, but it’s not reassuring. He walks by, leaving me alone with Thames.
He’s still steaming. I dare to lay a hand on his arm and say, “Hey. You okay?”
“No.” I can practically feel Thames’ skin bubbling underneath my hand.
“You want to talk about it?”
He stares down at the floor. “Yeah.”
We walk together underneath the stairwell. Thames’ sinks to the ground beneath the staircase, his back against the wall. I sit next to him cross legged. His gaze droops, like he’s already lost something that shouldn’t even be up for grabs.
“What was that all about?” I ask softly.
Thames lets out a whoosh. “Cairo didn’t tell you everything. He told you things between my dad and my mom didn’t work out, but that’s a lie. My dad didn’t have a choice to leave. Cairo’s dad was hunting mine. My dad had to go on the run, and leave me and my mom behind.”
“And… I’m guessing Cairo’s dad decided to move in?” I ask.
Thames snorts. “You can say that. It’s because of his father that mine’s missing. I don’t know where he is. I’ve never even met him. I know Cairo can say the same, but that’s different. He doesn’t care about meeting his dad. I do.”
“Maybe you can, someday,” I encourage.
“I doubt it.” He shakes his head. “He’s probably been killed by now. I understand how it works. Angels hunt demons. It’s not Cairo’s fault that he’s here. But he doesn’t need to be parading around and acting all self-righteous about it.”
Thames makes an aggravated noise. “That’s why I moved out. I just couldn’t take Cairo telling me what to do a
nymore. It’s my life. I decide how I’m going to live it, not him. Just because I’m a cambion doesn’t mean I can’t be a normal guy.”
“Of course not,” I say, though it sounds like a lie.
He’s ranting now. “My dad was changing. He didn’t want to be evil anymore when he met my mom. That’s what she tells us all the time, but Cairo doesn’t want to accept it. He thinks that bad people are always bad, no matter what.”
“What if Cairo just wants to protect you?” I offer. “You are his brother. He just doesn’t want to see you get hurt. You could meet your dad and he could be nothing like what you expected.”
“He’s a demon. The bar isn’t really set that high,” he says sarcastically.
“Just go easy on your brother, okay? I’m sure he means well,” I say.
“You would say that.”
Thames’ comment, biting and sharp, hurts my feelings. I get up and say, “Well, I’m not going to sit here and mope around with you. I get that you miss your dad. Both of us have parents that we miss. I never met my dad, either.” I bite my lip. “Just don’t take it out on me.”
I leave breathlessly, before he can stop me. I’m probably being too abrasive, but Thames isn’t consolable right now. He just needs time to calm down.
My thoughts are racing when I get back to class. Cairo didn’t exactly lie about Thames’ dad, but he definitely didn’t tell the truth, either. I know it was to spare Thames’ feelings. But did he want to show his own in a better light, as well?
I sigh. There’s no clear answer. All I know is right now, I’m not quite sure who I can trust.
I get there for the surprise first. I can understand why Cairo asked me to meet him behind the gym. It’s very pretty, a flatland of snow surrounded by a cluster of tall trees, which form a tight and intimate circle. It’s probably as romantic a setting you can get at a high school.
Waiting makes me nervous. Ten minutes pass. I’m starting to freeze. What’s taking him so long? Did he forget, or did he stand me up?
