“I don’t know.” I tried to gauge Mila’s reaction. Her face was pinched. Was it fatigue or the pain forced on her by bringing up both Kyle and my playboy days? “Felt like the right thing to do.”
“It’s going to be a manhunt,” Jake said. “Crazies will be out there, trying to find him. Grab some of the glory.”
“Good.” I gritted my teeth. Was it? Hell if I had the answer. “It’ll slow him down, then.” I pushed Mila’s hair off her forehead. “You all right?”
She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek into my chest. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
25
Mila
I refused to leave the hotel suite the next day, too strung out by the media’s obsession with my dead baby. I refused both Noelle’s and Briar’s requests to stop by, not wanting either of them in any more danger because of me. By Friday morning, I’d refused to leave the bedroom for more than a quick meal that Murphy practically forced down my throat. My appetite was even more minuscule than it already had been, thanks to Murphy forcing me to ween off Xanax.
The withdrawal symptoms had kicked in and my mind was as listless as my aching body. The only time I felt alive was when Murphy touched me, but thanks to the need for multiple rounds of press and practice—that they did at some studio downtown—I didn’t see much of Murphy, which deepened my depressive thoughts.
“You ready?” Murphy asked. Since the meeting with everyone here on Monday, Murphy had done a complete turnabout, now willing to do just about anything to get me to leave the hotel suite and the dark cloud that had been clinging to me for days. He even went so far as to rummage through my new clothes, picking out the outfit he wanted me to wear—tight jeans with multiple rips starting mid-thigh and a form-hugging Jackaroo short-sleeve tee. He’d headed back into the closet for the pair of Chuck Taylors he’d insisted I get, remembering our conversation years ago about how much I’d always wanted to own a pair.
He kissed my forehead and started toward the bedroom door.
“Murphy?” I asked. My body aches and the rebound anxiety weren’t as bad this morning. The symptoms were supposed to fade within a week, and I was within a couple of days of that time frame. I stood and stretched, surprised by the energy once again flowing through my limbs.
“Whatcha need, love?”
I turned back to him, biting the tip of my finger. Lust flared deep in his gunmetal eyes, but he stayed where he was. This carefulness with me was what I disliked most about Murphy this go-round. I wanted—no, I needed—him to need me as much as I needed him.
Subtlety wasn’t going to work. I whipped off my sleep shirt and dropped in onto the edge of the bed. “I need you to shower with me.”
Murphy’s smile was bright. “That’d be my pleasure.”
Ended up being mine. Twice.
The venue appeared huge—and really open. Originally slated for the Moore Theater, which held an intimate eighteen hundred people, the label had moved the performance to the White River Amphitheater, about an hour south of Seattle. Ten thousand bright-red seats snuggled up close to the stage. Each of the original ticket buyers received an actual seat for the inconvenience of the move and additional drive out of Seattle. An expansive green lawn behind the covered chairs would soon be dotted with blankets, chairs and lots of screaming fans. Large metal towers with banners of each of the band member’s faces lined the concrete walkway to the center, sentinels of doom if one of them housed Jordan and his firearms. I shivered as I walked in.
“Feels like a fishbowl with a really big stage,” Noelle muttered, and I tried to stifle my nervous giggle.
Four more security guards met us at the band entrance while another four stood just inside, arms cross over their chests. The hallways were cavernous and smelled of old sweat mixed with industrial cleaning products. Gross.
Harry, Jackaroo’s band manager, met us there, talking into a headset and glaring down at a clipboard. I’d seen him a couple of times this week but hadn’t made the effort to say more than hello.
He glanced up and his smile was brilliant. I edged closer to Noelle, wondering if he planned to take a bite out of me. I’d never liked Harry, hating the way he treated his wife and two daughters.
“You’ve done it, Ets! Packed out the house. Nice job staying top of the media. Press conference went swimmingly.”
“Rack off, Harry. This whole situation is because Mila has a stalker. As in someone trying to hurt her.”
Harry clucked, concern washing over his features in a waterfall of fakeness. “Right, of course. Absolutely. The record label is thrilled with the attention, just thrilled with your impromptu sales numbers. When you boys get back in the studio, we’ll be able to hammer in a nice new deal.” Harry’s eyes burned brighter as he considered his upcoming windfall.
“I don’t like him,” Noelle muttered.
“Because he’s a reptile dressed in a suit?” I whispered back.
Noelle squeezed my hand. I turned and flashed my own fake smile at Harry, who’d moved over to shake my hand. His gaze calculated my worth to him, his smile never sliding an inch. But I could tell from the look in his eyes that he’d heard me, and he didn’t like my thoughts.
“Pleasure to see you again,” he said, his voice about as warm as a Tasmanian dawn. “Though I’m surprised you came back after Murphy’s success with ‘She’s So Bad.’”
“Been a while,” I responded. “How are your lovely wife and children?”
“Glad for the income I provide them with. Sally’s got the shopping bug. Wouldn’t do to disappoint her.” Why did the words sound menacing? I held my ground, chin up so as not to show my fear.
Harry shook Noelle’s hand, and she waited until he’d turned away to rub her palm against her skirt.
Briar stopped next to me and shuddered. “Hayden isn’t fond of him,” she said.
“I think he heard me refer to him as a reptile,” I said, eyeing the back of Harry’s expensive and highly style head.
“That’s part of what I like about you, Mila,” Briar laughed. “You call it as you see it.”
“Not sure I made an ally.”
Briar shrugged. “He’d never be one. Let’s go to the waiting area. I want to see what type of snacks they’ve stockpiled.”
Noelle and I trailed behind her, but soon we were surrounded by bodyguards. Being here, at this venue, with one of the hottest bands in the world was so surreal. Not my life at all. Did Murphy have to put up with this throughout his tour? No wonder he’d been ready for some normalcy.
“Hayden hated the tour. The constancy of being on for the fans grated. Fabulous! Guacamole.” Briar dove at the huge bowl of chips and dip. She piled a plate and snagged a water. “I was nervous this morning, so I ran about ten miles. Hayden grumbled through the last four, but I needed to burn off that energy. Now I’m starving.” She eyed a plate of cookies and snatched one of those as well.
I snagged a water, too nervous to eat, and wandered over to sit next to Briar. Once settled with her plate balanced on her knees, she devoured her cookie before she began to make headway through her massive pile of chips and guac.
“You run every morning?” Up until this week, I’d always been active. I hadn’t run, but this morning I had enjoyed my shower.
Briar chuckled before she popped another chip. “I try to. Before and after Hayden and I spend some quality time together.” She raised her brows, and I giggled.
“No wonder you’re hungry.”
“She’s always hungry for me,” Hayden said as he walked into the room. Briar tipped her face up for a kiss. Hayden obliged with alacrity and Briar’s hands came up to cup his cheeks. Noelle stood near the snack table, holding a baby carrot and talking to Jake. Their budding friendship surprised me because Noelle was interested in pushing forward a permanent relationship with Kent. Or, she had been. She and I needed to talk.
Murphy pulled me into his arms. I loved that he could—and would—sweep me off my feet. I smiled as I pressed my lips to his
, savoring the feel of his warm, soft mouth against mine. His days-old stubble chafed at my chin as he tilted my face, bringing me closer and tighter to his body.
Our tongues met, tangled. I moaned against him, thrilling at his rising passion. This time in our relationship was intense as we relearned each other. I couldn’t get enough. Murphy pulled back with a groan, placing a soft, chaste kiss to my lips.
We spent the next couple of hours talking, laughing, simply enjoying each other’s company.
“Five till show time, boys,” Harry called.
Murphy immediately leaned down and kissed me, an even more heated dual of tongue and teeth than earlier.
“Not my best idea just before we have to go on.”
“Why’s that?” I clasped my hands around his neck as he lowered me to the floor.
“Because now I want to do more with you, and I can’t.”
“Later,” I whispered, pressing my lips back to his.
“Lots of later,” he said, his voice dipping low into that sexy rasp I loved so much. “I mean that, Mila. You’re wearing my ring.” He tipped his head to the platinum band on my finger. I’d removed it to swim, but he’d settled it back on my finger before our press conference, and I hadn’t taken it off since. “That means something, just like it did when I slid it on your finger then. Something we’ll work out soon.”
My eyes felt round, huge. I couldn’t breathe. Did he mean . . . No, I shouldn’t get my hopes up. We were different people, learning each other again. While he might be impetuous, that didn’t mean he planned to marry me. He pressed his forehead against mine, breathing deep against my neck. “I’m glad you’re here, Mila.”
He kissed me again, so of course, I responded. “Me, too,” I whispered as he pulled back. “I-I hated taking it off.”
“Because you weren’t meant to.”
“Let’s go, gents,” Harry called.
“You watch from the wings. Don’t leave Kevin’s sight.” Murphy’s eyes were filled with concern.
I smiled. “Promise.”
He hugged me tight, pulling me off the ground once more. “I’m scared to go on stage, and it has very little to do with the mob out there. I need to see you during the show.”
“Okay.”
“I need to know you’re safe.”
“I am.”
“I want to forget about this and carry you back to our suite so I can love you all night.”
“You can, as soon as you finish working.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
I giggled and kissed him again. “I hope so.”
26
Murphy
The lights were too bright, thanks to the setting sun. Hayden and Jake were struggling to look out into the crowd, too. We were three songs in and while we sounded great, this show wouldn’t go down in our personal top ten.
I glanced over at the spot I’d told Mila to stay in, and smiled at her, my eyes lighting when she smiled back. I stepped in and sang my part, focusing on the frets as I worked my way through the bridge. We finished hard, and the crowd went wild. I walked to the stage hand.
“Can you fix the bloody lights? They’re blinding us.”
He nodded, started talking into his headset. I winked at Mila and drifted back onto the stage in time to rev into a faster melody Hayden had written the year before. Good stuff, this was. He had an ear for it. I lost myself in the music, letting the feelings build and crash over me. Jake grinned. Damn, my job was fun.
I didn’t even glance at the girls flashing me in the front row. As Hayden and Flip had said most of the tour, not interested. I’d love on Mila later.
We finished the set hard. Now came the screaming-crowd-multiple-encores part of the show that I found the most exhausting. We exited. None of the ladies joined us and dread pooled in my gut.
“Back out, gents.”
Hayden scowled, and I’m sure I mirrored the expression. “Where are Mila and Briar?”
“Your fans are waiting,” Harry said. He shoved me back on stage. I bowed again and smiled but anger bubbled thick in my chest. No bloody way Harry ever shoved me again.
Hayden and Jake came out but we’d lost our momentum. None of us worried about the final, final encore.
“Thanks everyone for supporting such an important cause! You’ve been great,” I called into the microphone. I’d prepared an entire speech telling the fans about my youngest brother, before our final song. Not happening. Not now. I whipped my guitar strap off, signaling the end of the show. The crowd’s calls still rang in my ears as I hustled off the stage. Mila wasn’t there, where I asked her to stand. Neither were Briar or Noelle, but the security was still thick. I handed my guitar to one of the roadies and ran across the chords and wires littering the stage floor. I burst into the lounge room where we’d left our personal items, and Briar whipped around, eyelids rimmed in red, tears still shining on her cheeks.
“Where’s Mila?” I asked. She’s with Noelle, I thought. But when I didn’t see her crazy ringlets either, my lungs started to ache. Where was my phone? I’d call her.
Harry cleared his throat. “She called a cab about half way through your set.”
I grabbed his shirt, pulling him up until we were nose to nose. “The hell you say?” I growled. Jake yanked on my arm but I didn’t let go. I was going to hurt the little wanker. Bad.
“She got a call or a text,” Harry said with a shrug. “She said she had to leave. She didn’t want her friend to go with her, but the girl insisted.”
Kevin was still here, in the lounge. Trying to pull me off Harry. “Wait! She left without a bodyguard? Kevin, how could you do that? You know what Jordan’s capable of!”
“I didn’t let her go anywhere,” Kevin said. His voice was sharp with anger. I dropped Harry and turned, prepared to run from the room. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. I wasn’t losing Mila again. If Jordan got to her first . . .
Kevin and Jake stood in front of me, barring the exit.
“Move!”
Hayden joined them. “I’ve got a car coming round, mate. You can leave in a few minutes. But you have to calm down. You’re not rational.”
“He’s going to try to hurt her again. What could he have threatened her with?”
Briar stepped forward, her right arm folded across her body. “Tanya. The woman at the hospital. He said he’d kill her if Mila didn’t come immediately. She called the cab and bolted from the room just as Harry was coming to check on us.”
I groaned, slowly becoming aware that Jake had grasped me under my arms and was holding me up. Of course Mila went. She’d do anything for the people she cared about, and she cared deeply for Tanya, for her baby.
“Why didn’t you come get me?” I asked, my eyes meeting Briar’s, which filled with tears again. I wasn’t trying to be accusatory, but my words were sharp, studded with worry.
Hayden went to hug her, but his face settled in a firm line. “We’d have stopped the show, Bri. Mila is more important.”
“I know, but Harry locked Kevin and me in this room and you don’t have your phones on you.” She gestured to where all our mobiles lay on the catering table.
We turned as one to gape at Harry. Before I could open my mouth, Jake said, “You’re fired.”
“Wait, Murphy, there’s more to this,” Briar said, her voice shaking. “Jordan also threatened your mom.”
“He’s in the US. What can he do to my mum?”
“I don’t know,” Briar said, her eyes stormy. “Mila didn’t say, but she was really upset.”
“Call Mum,” I said. “Tell her what’s going on. Stay on the line with her until she gets somewhere safe.”
Jake pressed the phone to his ear.
I turned to Kevin. “We need a plan.” I yanked at my hair. “Hospital. Fastest route—you get that for me?”
“On it.” He typed something into his phone.
“I wanted to call the Seattle PD,” Briar said. “But Mila showed me the text. He sa
id he’d kill Tanya if the police came to the hospital before her. Kevin called in some of his friends who do this type of thing. They’re going to meet Mila at the hospital.”
“When did this happen?” I asked.
“About thirty minutes ago,” Kevin said, but worry pulled at his brows. “She has a head start.”
“The concert traffic is going to snarl things up.”
I nodded, letting them know I heard. “Car. I need to get out of here. Now.”
“We’ll stay. Do the media thing here,” Hayden said, waving us off. He pressed a kiss to the side of Briar’s head. Goddammit, I wanted to be doing that to Mila now myself.
Kevin and I jogged toward the exit, Jake talking to mum, a couple steps behind. Kevin grabbed a set of keys from the waiting roadie and hustled us into the car, keeping his body between us and the reporters who’d turned and started snapping pictures, yelling questions. Breathing was laborious, no way I’d be coherent. Not that I’d waste time on the media when Mila was in danger.
“Keep talking to me, Mum. Don’t stop.” Jake slid into the car first.
“Let me talk to her,” I said. Jake handed me the phone.
“You’ll get there in time, Murphy, love. Mila’s smart.” Mum sniffled into the phone. “She’ll be ’right.”
“What if she’s not?” I whispered. My throat closed.
“Don’t think that. Don’t ever think that, son. Stay positive. For Mila.”
I hissed out a breath. So much to say. I hadn’t told Mila I loved her. She needed to know.
“What were you doing when Jake called?”
“Making lunch.”
Strange to think Mum was seventeen hours ahead of me—living in the next day. A day when I hoped to hold Mila again. My knuckles whitened as I gripped the phone tighter, and my thigh jiggled, but I stayed on my mobile while she finished the drive to the police station. There, I talked to the officer and then to a detective, telling him what I knew. I gave them Mila’s phone number, which she wasn’t answering—I rang her number near constantly while I spoke to my mum.
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