“I love you, Peyton.”
He says it with such sincerity that I almost believe it, but all the years of him hating me and treating me like crap are at war with his words. I know from the snippets I remember from last night that I was the cause of this whole thing. I was the one that threw myself at him… and a few random strangers. I should be angry that he actually married me, but I’m not.
I’m sad.
Sad that all the years I’ve spent pining over him while pretending that I hate him as much as he hates me has ended in a joke of a marriage. I used to dream about being in a relationship with Kingston. For years, I hoped that he would stop seeing me as his brother’s annoying friend. Now instead of the annoying friend, I’m the loser who begged him to marry her. Hell, I practically blackmailed him.
“Baby, look at me.” His tone is patient and calm, two things I would never attribute to Kingston. “I know this situation isn’t ideal, but I do want to be with you, and I think you want me too.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I scoff. “You don’t even like me, let alone love me.”
He frowns. “Peyton, I know I’ve not given you any reason to believe me, but it’s true. I’ve wanted you for years. Hell, from the first minute I saw you I wanted you, but Theo got to you first. I was so mad, and I was a stupid kid who lashed out. I thought you and Theo were a thing. By the time I realized you were never going to be more than friends, it was too late. You already hated me.”
I remember the exact moment that I started pretending that I couldn’t stand the sight of Kingston. It was my Sophomore year, the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance. After an entire year of pining away for Kingston, I finally got the courage to approach him. At that point, he hadn’t ever been openly hostile toward me—just sort of indifferent. Like he couldn’t be bothered to give me the time of day.
After Lacey Peterman asked Theo to the dance and he agreed, I had to find my own date or show up alone. If I wasn’t going to go with my best friend, I wanted to ask the only boy I had ever crushed on—Kingston. I was so flipping nervous when I asked him that when he said yes, I nearly fainted on the spot.
I was so dang excited that I went and spent every penny of my allowance and babysitting money on a new dress and shoes, wanting to look my very best for him. He was a Senior and used to older girls, I didn’t want to be an embarrassment to him.
The night of the dance, I stood outside the gymnasium for two hours waiting for Kingston to show up. He never did. And the next day when I saw him, he acted like I didn’t even exist. Worse than that, when Theo asked me why I didn’t show up to the dance, Kingston laughed and said I was too pathetic to find a date. From that moment on, I decided to treat Kingston the same way he did me. With a mixture of dislike and indifference.
“You’re right,” I admit. “You made it really easy for me to hate you. Which really sucked because I had the biggest crush on you.”
“Had?” he asks.
My cheeks heat. “Have.”
He smiles so wide I wonder if his cheeks will crack. “It’s a good thing you have a crush on me, Peyton Barrett because I’m desperately in love with you and not letting you go.”
My eyebrows shoot up when he uses his last name instead of mine. “Kingston… I don’t think this is a good idea. We can’t stay married.”
“We can,” he counters.
“We can’t.”
“Yes, we can,” he says then crushes his lips to mine. His hand goes to the back of my neck and pulls me close, holding me where he wants me. By the time he pulls away my lips are kiss swollen, and my heart is racing. “Can.”
I blink up at him dazed. “Maybe.”
He growls. The sound is so damn sexy my core clenches, and I wonder what it is we were arguing about. When he kisses me, I lose all desire to fight. My heart cracks open a little, and I wonder if maybe this could work out. When he pulls away this time, we are both panting for breath. My panties are soaked, and I can see his erection pressing against the towel. I know if I stay here another minute we will just end up falling back into bed and even though it’s exactly what I want, I know it would be a mistake.
I stand. “I should go.”
“You should stay,” he says, pulling me against his body.
I groan when his length presses against my stomach. I want him as much as he wants me, but I don’t want any more things to regret. Reluctantly, I pull away. “Really, I think it’s best if I leave,” I say half-heartedly.
Without any more protest, he walks me to the door. I’m thankful he doesn’t push harder for me to stay because I would have given in. My willpower is shaky at best when it comes to him. At the door, he leans in and brushes a kiss on my lips—a sweet, lovers touch. The kind of kiss that comes from genuine affection and makes butterflies fill your stomach. He reaches for the hand that’s still clutching the ring. I uncurl my fingers and offer it to him again. My heart sinks when he picks it up, then practically beats out of my chest when he turns my hand over and slides the ring onto my finger.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, beautiful.”
I smile up at him, feeling shy for some reason. This is a whole new Kingston, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. One part of me wants to throw a party, and the other wants to run the other way because it’s too good to be true. He can’t possibly be serious about this whole thing. Until I know the truth, I have to keep him at arm’s length.
My mind is running a mile a minute as I make my way back to my room. Before this weekend, Kingston hated me—or so I thought. Yesterday, Kingston married me and fucked me twelve ways to Sunday. Today, Kingston gives me the best orgasm ever in a bathroom, goes all caveman on the guy I was dancing with, confesses his love for me, and tells me he doesn’t want to get an annulment.
It’s like everything I’ve ever known has been turned upside down. Kingston has always treated me like crap. I won’t lie, every single time he was mean cut me to the quick. I started pushing back for the sake of self-preservation. If I didn’t like him, then he couldn’t hurt me. After a while, it just became second nature. I don’t know how to reconcile what I thought I knew with what I know now.
The room is dark when I let myself in and I’m thankful. I tiptoe through the room and slide into my bed. My head barely hits the pillow when the lamp clicks on.
“Are you going to tell me what the holy hell is going on?”
I pull my blankets over my head, hiding myself from view. Hey, it worked on monsters when I was a kid… Tammy is scarier than any monster I ever thought up as a kid.
“Last night I had what I thought was a one-night stand with Kingston,” I start the sordid tale. “Then I got back to our room and saw the ring on my finger.” I wiggle my finger at her, showing her the ring. “Apparently, I begged Kingston to marry me and one Las Vegas-style wedding later, and I’m a missus.”
Tammy’s mouth falls open and in a moment that is worthy of the history books, she is completely speechless. If I wasn’t so stressed I would find her reaction hilarious, but right now, I need her to get her shit together so mine can fall apart.
“Let me make sure I understand this… you had sex with Kingston Barrett?”
I nod.
“Like real for real sex?”
“Yes! Okay, yes. He fucked me bowlegged. Is that what you want to hear?” I say exasperated.
“Wow.”
“Really? That’s your response? Did you miss the part where I’m married to Kingston fucking Barrett? The man who can’t stand to be in the same room with me for more than five minutes without slinging some kind of barb my way.” I can’t keep the hysteria out of my voice.
Her eyes get wide as if what I’ve told her is finally sinking in. “Oh. My. God. Peyton, what the hell?”
I bury my head back under the blankets and groan. “I was drunk. Drunk me obviously doesn’t make good life choices. Though, if what I remember is correct, Kingston was the best of the men I proposed to last night.”
“Jesus,” Tammy mutte
rs.
“I know. It’s a fucking mess. I bet Theo and Jillian are pissed.”
Tammy laughs. “Hon, they aren’t mad at you. Theo wants to throttle Kingston and he’s worried about you, but not mad. You could wreck his car and he’d still love you.”
“I did wreck his car,” I add.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Well, see, he loves you no matter what boneheaded thing you do. And Jill, she’s just pissed she wasn’t invited.”
Even though I’m a mess of emotions, I can’t help laughing at that. I’m so lucky to have great friends. At least I know, no matter how epically I screw up, they’re still here for me.
“All kidding aside, this isn’t the end of the world, Pey. When we get home, you’ll file for a divorce or annulment or whatever and this will all become one of those ‘what happens in Vegas’ stories.”
I twist the ring on my finger, considering her words, it’s the same plan I’ve been plotting all day. Kingston claims he doesn’t want to end things. If he’s serious about staying together I have to decide if it’s something I’m willing to do. I decide to keep my thoughts to myself. I’ve revealed enough of my secrets for one night.
“Let’s get some sleep. Jillian will murder us if we look like zombies tomorrow,” I say.
“It’s already three in the morning, that makeup artist she hired is going to earn her paycheck covering up our hangovers,” Tammy jokes.
“Oh, Jillybean,” I gasp as I take in the full effect of my little sister in her wedding dress. “You look like a princess. Absolutely stunning.”
She nervously runs her hands over the bodice of her gown. “Are you sure?”
“Shut up, Jill,” Tammy grouses. “You’re not the one that looks like Easter threw up all over the place.”
“It’s not going to kill you to wear pink,” Jillian fires back.
Tammy flips her off behind her back.
“I saw that.”
I snort a laugh, never a dull moment. And I’m grateful for the distraction because the mess inside my head is enough to drive a girl bananas. I had hoped I would wake up this morning and be so consumed with wedding things that I couldn’t possibly find time to dwell on last night’s conversation with Kingston, but I still find my mind wandering back to him.
Always back to him.
I grab Jillian’s phone when it dings.
Can my beautiful bride spare my best friend?
I’ll make it up to you later…
That text is followed up with several disturbing emojis that emulate exactly what he means by making it up to her.
I read the messages out loud to her and she shoos me away.
Butterflies swarm in my stomach when I get to the suite the guys are preparing in… Kingston could be in there with Theo, and I’m torn between hoping he is there and praying he’s not. I knock, then open the door.
“There she is,” Theo says with a smile. “I didn’t think Jill would let you go.”
“I think it was the emojis,” I tease. “I will have nightmares about eggplant for the rest of my life.”
“Ha, ha. She’s got jokes.”
I laugh. “Damn straight I do.”
Theo’s smile falls, and the atmosphere in the room goes from lighthearted to serious all with that one change. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, preparing for what I know is about to come out of his mouth. I got the third degree from Tammy and Jillian… it’s Theo’s turn.
“Pey, are you okay?”
The look on Theo’s face is so sincere and full of worry. He’s not looking for gossip or to tell me how badly I screwed up, no he is just concerned for his best friend. My shoulders fall, and I relax for the first time all day. He instantly reacts to the change and pulls me into his arms. The only thing that keeps me from crying is my two-hour makeup job and Theo’s perfectly pressed tux. Otherwise, I’d just blubber it all out, but this isn’t the time or place for a breakdown.
“I don’t know what I am right now,” I answer honestly. “Everything is such a mess. Kingston told me some crazy stuff about how he’s always wanted me and that he doesn’t want an annulment. I mean, how is that even possible? What alternate universe have I fallen into?”
Theo doesn’t answer right away. He’s measuring his words, making sure he says exactly what he wants to say. It’s one of the things I love about him. He never says anything without thinking it through first.
“Answer me this, how do you feel about Kingston? Honestly.”
I chew my bottom lip nervously. Theo is perceptive, and I have no doubt that he’s had his suspicions about my real feelings for Kingston for a long time. He’s always been able to read me like a book and I him. It’s one of the reasons we click so well together. Deciding to be completely candid is harder than I thought, but there’s no point in beating around the bush now.
“I’ve always liked him. When we were kids, I had a huge crush on him and it never really went away.” As I talk, Theo nods his head like I’m not telling him anything he didn’t already know. “I hated how mean he was and to protect myself I jumped on the ‘hate each other’ bandwagon.”
“If I were to tell you that Kingston feels the exact same way, would you believe me?” he asks.
“Then why pretend otherwise? I don’t understand.”
“My brother is an idiot?” he says it as both a statement and question.
I tilt my lips in a slight smile. “Undeniably.”
“Kingston told me how the two of you ended up married… he mentioned that he was concerned that you might not recall everything that happened.”
My cheeks instantly heat because my missing memories have reappeared, and I remember in explicit detail every sordid minute. “I didn’t remember at first, but I’m pretty sure I’ve put all the pieces together. I know that Kingston isn’t to blame for this mess.”
At that Theo’s expression turns stormy. “You were wasted, and he was sober. He should have taken you to your room and called me. Instead, he took you to a wedding chapel.”
“And as soon as you turned your back, I would have been out looking for a man, any man, to marry me,” I say sadly. “Theo, it doesn’t make any sense to sober me any more than it does to you, but I was determined… Desperate even.”
Theo sighs. “Pey, what is going on with you? Why did you hide this from me?”
Tears fill my eyes, and no matter how much blinking I do, I can’t prevent a few traitorous tears from falling. How can I explain to my best friend that I’ve been miserable ever since the best day of his life—when my sister agreed to marry him. I know it was the best day because those words came straight from his own lips. The most important people to me found a happiness I have only dreamed of, and it’s been like salt in an open wound for me. Every time Jillian and I made plans for the wedding or Theo asked for my opinion on honeymoon locations or helping them house hunt for the place they will raise their family in, all of it was a hit to my heart.
I am happy for them. I know I seem like a bitter, jealous shrew, but they are my two favorite people in the world, and I want them to be happy. The fact that they’ve found happiness together is awesome—even if I am pea green with jealousy. I just want what they have so badly.
Theo wraps his arms around me, and I sag into him, soaking up the comfort only a best friend can provide.
“I didn’t want to upset you,” I say miserably.
He gives me a pointed look, and I realize that I’m not getting out of this conversation.
“Okay, fine. I’m sick of being alone. Seeing you and Jillian so happy is both wonderful and horrible. I’m a terrible sister and friend. I’m so damned jealous and just want a tiny piece of that happiness for myself. I’ve been a bridesmaid so many times, watching friends and family marrying and getting happily ever afters. I freaking want that too. I want my own damned happily ever after.”
“You should have talked about this with us. We wouldn’t have been upset,” Theo tries reasoning with me.
“No
, because then every time the wedding came up or you wanted my opinion or help or anything, you both would have felt terrible or completely avoided talking to me about it. That’s not what I wanted. I want you guys to get your happily ever after together… I just want mine too.”
“And you think marrying Kingston was the solution to that?”
I shake my head. “No. That was a drunken mistake, and it’s something that will be rectified as soon as we get home.”
A throat clearing behind us has us both turning. Kingston is standing there an unreadable expression on his face. I didn’t even hear the door open, and I can’t help wondering how much of our conversation he heard. I feel guilty even though I didn’t say anything that I haven’t already said to him… it feels like I betrayed him somehow by talking to Theo about us and that confuses me.
“It’s time.” Is all Kingston says before walking away.
Chapter Seven
Kingston
Hearing Peyton telling Theo with no uncertainty in her tone that marrying me was a mistake causes a sick pit to open in my gut. Yes, she’s said as much to my face, but hearing her tell Theo makes it real. Makes it feel like I’m up against insurmountable odds. Theo disapproves. I know he’s pissed at me, and I can hardly blame him, but I only want what’s best for Peyton.
I want her to be happy.
I want her to love me as much as I love her.
We are standing at the altar waiting, Theo looks like the cat that got the cream as he impatiently waits for Jillian. Troy stands on the other side of me messing with his phone. I’m about ten seconds away from shoving the thing down his throat, especially when the music starts, and he doesn’t put the damn thing away. I elbow him—probably harder than necessary—to get his attention, he rolls his eyes and puts the phone in his pocket.
Stupid fucker.
All thoughts of dismembering Troy disappear into the ether when Peyton walks through the doorway. Everything fades away except for her. I barely notice Tammy as she makes her way to her place… my eyes are only on the vision in pink.
Just Married Page 5
