by Lauren Wood
“Tell me you feel nothing Stacy and I will stop.’
I whimpered with the idea of it and as my legs shook and tightened around his arm, I knew that I was going to come. I was so close and I begged him quietly not to stop. I didn’t want him to ever stop. It felt too good and the more I clung to him, the more I realized that it was never going to be enough until I had all of him. I wanted to take the next step with him in that moment.
“Did that feel good?” Chris had stopped rubbing so fast, but his hand went down my pants. He told me that he wanted to feel how wet I was. Nervously, I let him touch my core and it felt almost cold to the heat that was coming off of me. I felt like I was going to burn up at any second.
“Damn you are wet Stacy. I know that you want more. I can feel you clenching.”
Before I knew what he was doing, Chris was pushing a finger inside of me, causing a swift pain that made me cry out. I pushed him away and he looked to me confused. “What…?”
It dawned on him suddenly and I felt my face getting red. Just the move from his finger felt like I had been stabbed and it was sore as I got off the side of the cooler. While my mind thought I was ready, my body wasn’t. He was looking at me in such a way that I could no longer look at him.
“Please leave Chris. I told you before I am not ready for all of this. You can’t just push me into it. I need time, if it is ever going to work.”
“That is the first time that you have suggested that it might be possible.”
“Anything is possible Chris, but I am going to get fired if the owner sees the footage from a few minutes ago. I need to get my work done.”
He shook his head and asked me how I could turn it off. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about because I certainly hadn’t turned anything off. I was still dying for him and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had already lost. This denial I was doing right now was only going to prolong the inevitable. I know now that this is going to happen whether I like it or not. I wasn’t really sure if I did or not.
“You can’t be serious. You won’t at least come out with me tonight?”
I shook my head a little faster than I should have, but no part of me thought that being around him was going to be a good idea. I knew better and there was nothing that I could do to stop any of it. I was in love and I was tired of waiting. But I still had that familiar fear when I thought about it. My mind and body were at opposites ends of the field and I was trying to get the two to agree to something. I know for certain what my body wanted to do, but my brain chimed in all of the things that could go wrong with it.
“Not tonight. I am tired, but I will have Thursday night off if you want to go out.”
“Like on a real date?”
“Yes, like a real date.”
“Fine, I will wait a few more days, but don’t think you are going to be able to put me off for long. I am holding you to this.”
“Okay, just let me get my work done Chris. I will call you in a couple of days. Okay?”
He wasn’t happy, it was pretty clear of that, but I tried not to let it bother me. I needed to get my work done and get my mind off of Chris. It was becoming a bigger issue than I could deal with at present.
As he left, I was saddened to see him go, but I was also relieved as well. There was no way that I was going to be able to get through the rest of the night with him on my mind. So I tried my best to push his touches and kisses away from my mind, but it was close to impossible. The last hour dragged on.
He had finally worn me down and I had finally agreed to a date. I had a feeling that it was going to be a mess, but Chris was right. There was something between us that I couldn’t get passed. It scared me, but at the same time I was excited by it all. I wanted Chris and I wanted what was going to happen next, but I was scared of what that meant for me. What that meant for the future.
Chapter 15
Chris
Thursday couldn’t come fast enough as far as I was concerned. I could taste her on my lips from our kiss from before and I could still hear the moaning that she had done when I was touching her. Stacy had made the most delicious sounds and I just couldn’t get them out of my head. I was almost positive that I never wanted to forget them.
It was the day of the date that I started to really get nervous. It was still a foreign concept to me and though I liked the feeling, I was still trying to get used to it. I was ready to get on with the night, but the day was dragging on so slowly and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my eyes from every clock in every room I was in. She had taken over completely and I knew that if I didn’t have her tonight, I was going to lose my mind, if I hadn’t already done so.
By the time five o’ clock rolled around, I was leaving the office, ignoring the surprising looks I was getting from some of the rest of the staff. I never left this early, but today was a special day. I told my assistants to hold all calls and to cancel my morning. Maybe I was being optimistic, but I had a good feeling about tonight. The anxiety was leaving me as I made my way home to get ready for our date.
Everything was going to be perfect, because I had planned everything to the T. I knew that I was going to have to impress her, but with Stacy I knew I was going to have to take a different approach. Most women were impressed with money, but it was clear to me that Stacy wasn’t that way at all. She was more oblivious to it than anyone else I encountered, even though I knew she had to work a lot. It was a paradox, but the time to figure her out was here.
I think I had a good handle on her now and finding out that she was a virgin made many things so much clearer. I had to laugh at myself now for thinking that she was a lesbian. It had hurt my pride when she hadn’t responded the way that I thought she would, but now I knew that it was because she just didn’t know the ways of men and women. It wasn’t because she didn’t want me, Stacy did, that much was clear, but she was unsure how to move forward. I had plenty of experience in that, so tonight should go just fine. It needed to for my own sanity.
At seven on the dot, I knocked on her front door. I had been waiting outside for almost ten minutes, but I didn’t want to seem too eager. I felt like I was a teenager again as I waited for her to answer. When she answered the door, the feeling of being a boy in puberty hit again. She was gorgeous and I realized then that I hadn’t really ever seen her dressed up. She wore jeans at the bar and a suit when she worked for Keenan, so this was the first time I got to see hair down, make up on with a sexy little dress to finish it off.
“Are you going to move so I can get out?”
I was standing in front of the door, staring at her and by the look on her face. I guess I looked like an idiot. I felt like one because the last thing I could do was move. I was frozen in place.
“Chris?”
“Sorry, you are just…wow Stacy.”
Her cheeks flamed and she looked away for a moment. I smiled at her. It just made her more darling.
“Can I kiss you?”
Stacy kind of shook her shoulders. “You have never asked before.”
I hadn’t, but I wanted everything to go as she wanted, how she was comfortable. I hoped that in doing she would be able to relax and we could get her to a point where she was ready for the next level. I wanted so badly to be her first.
“I am now.”
She looked down and then back up at me. She didn’t tell me yes, but Stacy kind of nodded her head in a way that told me she wanted me to. It wasn’t much of an answer, but it was enough for me.
Pulling her to me, I tried to slow myself and take her lips gently. She was pliable in my arms and Stacy lifted her arms and wrapped them around my neck. It felt heavenly and the feel of her body pressed against mine, quickly had me forgetting the decision to take it slow. Heaven help me I didn’t want to and when she opened her mouth with no resistance, I moved my tongue quickly into hers. I wanted inside of her any way that I could get it.
It didn’t matter that we were at her front stoop, I didn’t care. I
would have taken her right then and there if it would have been allowed. If she would have allowed it, but when my hands started to go underneath her dress, she was not going for it. Stacy pushed my hand away. “No, not like this. I won’t be able to think the rest of the night.”
I chuckled at her answer, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to think either. I was already getting a little fuzzy with just a kiss. Taking her arm, I led her to the waiting limo. I knew that she wouldn’t be impressed, but I was still hopeful that I would get to touch her a little bit.
“Went all out huh Chris?”
“You have no idea.”
Stacy had this look on her face that I couldn’t get enough of. She was so beautiful when she was so happy like she was now. How was I going to take it slow if she kept looking at me like that?
Helping her in, the dress showed flashes of her long legs and upper thigh. The skin was white and milky. I had seen it all, but somehow little tiny bits of it like that turned me on even more. It was like a tease that I couldn’t get enough of.
I got in next to her and had the driver take us to the first stop of the night. Stacy was a unique person and her apartment had showed me that in spades. When I was thinking of where to go, I quickly pushed away all normal thoughts. I didn’t want to take her somewhere that I had been with someone else. For me, that meant half of the city was off limits. It was a good thing that she wasn’t impressed by fancy restaurants.
Instead, the car pulled up on the side of a small bar on the upper eastside. It was not at all how I had envisioned it, but I knew that Stacy had been here before. I wasn’t going to try and bring her into my world. She was too good for that. I wanted to go into her world for a little while and I had a surprise waiting for her inside.
“What are we doing here?”
She didn’t sound as thrilled as I would have expected. “I thought you liked poetry. I saw all of those books at your house, the ones you wrote.”
“I write poetry. This is for those that perform on stage.”
“I thought it would be nice. I even brought some of the ones I read the other day. They were really good Stacy and I think you should share it.”
Stacy was nervous and I hoped that I wasn’t pushing her, but it was great. She was very talented in so many ways and this was one of them. Even though Stacy was awesome in so many ways though, she was shy and it was like she didn’t want people to know. I knew though and I wanted others to see it too.
“I am not into sharing.”
“I know. Let’s go in and see what happens. I brought these just in case.”
Stacy wasn’t sure, but I was enough for us both. I wanted her to see her as I did. Stacy had to know how great she was. I wanted this night to be perfect and then for the evening to be even better. I had big plans for us and I had decided that tonight was finally the night.
She didn’t loosen up when we got inside. Stacy must have thought that I was going to spring another impromptu public speaking appearance like I had before when we first met. I knew now that she hated it, but I hoped that she would come around and I could encourage her to do just that.
“Relax, I haven’t put you on a list. Your name is not going to get called Stacy. If you want to read, it is open mic. Other than that though, I am not going to have anything to with it.”
“Promise?”
She had that small voice she used sometimes and it really did drive me crazy. I knew she would most likely not want to try, but I didn’t want her on the edge of her seat all night. I wanted to have a good time and the first stop was turning out to be a bust. It was boring as hell for me, but when I looked over a few minutes later, I could tell that Stacy was starting to get into the poetry. She was enthralled with who was on the stage now. I had never gotten poetry and I don’t think I was ever going to, but I secretly wished that I could be moved by anything like that poem moved Stacy right now.
When it was over, she had a bit of water in her eyes and she brushed them back to hide the face she was so affected by it. Why did I find it so endearing?
“That was beautiful, don’t you think?”
She was beautiful and I just shook my head to her question. There was nothing else but her.
“Why don’t you go up there and share one of yours. Your poetry is moving as well Stacy. I would love to hear you read it out loud.”
Her face turned pink and for some reason she seemed more shy about reading her poetry, then she did about me playing with her underneath a table full of people. I didn’t understand her hesitation, but I didn’t push it again. It was clear she didn’t want to and when we had both relaxed, I decided I was going to take her out to get something to eat. It was getting late and the sun was going down in the city. This was the perfect time to be outside, so I went with the idea of taking something with us. The bluffs twenty miles outside of the city was gorgeous at this time of night. I came out here a couple of times a month to watch the city lights and I couldn’t think of anyone that I would want to come up here with me besides her. It was the first time I wasn’t alone to think when I was up here.
“What is this place?”
“This is my thinking spot. It has the best view of the city at night and I love to come out here and get a good look of everything. It looks so different up here, doesn’t it?”
Stacy looked out to the view I enjoyed so much and I was glad that one of my ideas had panned out. I hadn’t figured this would turn out wrong. How could it? It was just simply too pretty of a view to be anything but amazed and reminded of the beauty all around us. I couldn’t even throw it aside how much peace I got from watching her enjoy it with me.
We sat down together and for once I didn’t think about the grass stains on my slacks. It was the first time in a long time that I felt so free. That was wat Stacy was. She was freedom somehow. Now all I needed was for her to see that and feel the same way.
“Thank you for bringing me here Chris. It is a great place. I never would have thought you could go this far away to see the city like this.”
“I come up here often. It gets me just far enough that I feel like I have gone away, but not too far.”
“It’s a great view. I think I will have to come up here again, now that I know it is here. Thanks for showing it to me.”
“I would like you to come up here again with me.”
“Maybe.”
She still wouldn’t commit to anything. It drove me crazy that she denied us so much, when it as at least clear to me that this was what was supposed to happen.
“You are still playing hard to get?”
Stacy giggled. “That would be a little silly Chris. You already have me.”
Chapter 16
Stacy
“What do you mean?”
“You had me a long time ago. Why do you think I am here?”
“I don’t know. I thought this was a date.”
“It is.”
But I expected more out of this date than any one before it. I knew what was at stake and I didn’t want to pretend otherwise anymore. I had finally made a decision that I had been waiting to make for a long time. Everything for me was going to change after tonight. It was such a big part of me that I don’t know how I was going to feel when everything changed. How was I going to feel knowing that I waited all this time and the man I had fallen for was never going to really give me what I wanted in the end, what I had waited for?
I pushed the thoughts from my head and tried to be in the here and now. That was what mattered, not the future, because all I got was a stomach of knots if I thought about it like that. I wanted tonight to be special in all ways and that meant that I had to forget about tomorrow.
“So what kind of date is it?” He was finally starting to follow along and I could see the twinkle that came to his eyes. It was strange to talk about it so casually, but that was exactly what we were doing. We were talking about sex like it was no big deal when it was a huge deal to me.
“Why don’t we go back to
my place and find out?”
His brow went up and he asked me if I had had some sake before he picked me up. I told him that I hadn’t, but Chris was still hesitant, like he couldn’t believe that I had just said that. I couldn’t believe it either, although I thought I was going to get a far different reaction than the one I was receiving right now.
We were on our way before I knew what was happening. It was strange to be so confident and ready when all of these years I had been putting it off. It had never felt right before, but now it did. It felt like this was the way that it was supposed to be. It was supposed to feel like the easiest decision in the world and that was what it felt like. I didn’t have to think about it anymore. This is what was supposed to happen and I was going to make sure that I didn’t back out of it again. I needed this and by the way Chris was acting, he needed it as well.
He opened the door for me and waited until I got in to slide in behind me. Chris told the driver where we were going and I shook next to him as we made our to my house and I made my way to my destiny. I don’t know why I felt the way I did, but I felt like this was all meant to be and I had a feeling of confidence earlier.
Chris put his hands on me and pulled me closer to him. I knew that he wanted more, right then and there, but I wasn’t ready for that. I was ready to get to the house and take our times. I was shaking inside with need, but just as equally from fear. It scared the hell out of me, but filled me with excitement. The whole situation was so confusing, filled with so many conflictions it was hard to keep up. We couldn’t get home soon enough as far as I was concerned.
Finally we would be able to finish what we had started.
***
I don’t know why, but the ride to my house seemed to take forever. Chris had his hands on my thigh and his fingers moved around on my sensitive flesh and I wanted more of his touch. I opened my legs and I waited for his digits to press against me. When they did, I laid my head back and closed my eyes. He felt amazing, as he always did and I was eager to get there.
