by Lauren Wood
“No, I wasn’t drunk. He had good game and it was hard to refuse him.”
“Well you did something to him. He is asking for you and you know he is staying in one of the apartments? He is right around the corner from you.”
It was not a conversation that I wanted to have. I didn’t want to see David. Things were going good now and I didn’t want to ruin it.
“I have Steve now. He is good for me.”
Cameron rolled her eyes. “He is not good for you. He is…. I don’t even know what he is, but I know that you are not happy.”
“I am.”
I didn’t sound very convincing and I didn’t blame her for not believing me. I didn’t even believe myself, though I tried to. Steve was the kind of guy that I was supposed to be with. He was the type of man that wanted to get married. We already talked about it, even though we had only been dating a couple of months. That was progress as far as I was concerned.
“Just because it worked out for you, doesn’t mean that I need that kind of guy. Besides, Joel is different. He isn’t really a bad boy. He is softer than most of them. David is just rough.”
Cameron smiled and didn’t say anything for a time. “There is a difference when it comes to Joel. There is a sweetness that had taken me off guard. That is what I had fallen in love with. He looks good in leather too.”
“Well David is no Joel.”
“I met him for a few minutes, he seemed nice enough. You didn’t seem to be too bothered by him at the wedding.”
I thought of what it was he had talked me into doing and while I was completely open to it, I wouldn’t have done it with a man like Steve. He would have never even thought to do something like that. He wouldn’t have gone along with it if I had wanted to. The two men were so different and part of me knew that was why I had picked Steve from work. He was quiet and polite, just the kind of man that I needed.
“He is a mess, trust me. I am going to stay as far away from him as I can. How long is he supposed to be in town?”
Cameron shrugged and told me that she didn’t know. He was supposed to be there doing work and I could just imagine what that actually meant. I hadn’t asked him at the wedding what he did because I knew I didn’t want to know the truth. Whatever it was, I am sure it was illegal.
“Well don’t give him my number and make sure Joel doesn’t either. Do whatever voodoo it is that you do on him, but I don’t want to see him. He is nothing but bad news and I don’t want to ruin a good thing.”
“Okay, I will, but do you really think that Steve is the one? You haven’t even had sex with him yet.”
“That is not by my decision. He is the one that wants to wait. I think that is going to change though. If not, I am going to change it.”
She giggled a little and I knew that she was thinking along the same lines that I was thinking. We had been dating long enough and if I had to go into full seduction mode, I was okay with that. All I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to wait anymore. The mere mention of David got me feeling a little hot and bothered. It also reminded me how long it had been since we were together. He was the last man I was with and it felt like that needed to change or it was going to mean something.
“Well you go girl. It is about time. Here I was thinking that you really cared about him and that was the reason that you were turning into a nun.”
“No, it is nothing like that. It is just a decision that I decided to make. I needed a break.”
“It has been a drought for you Carol. I don’t know how you aren’t crawling out of your skin.”
I didn’t mention that I was, instead I just gave her a noncommittal noise. I was crawling out of my skin. All I wanted was for Steve to really kiss me and touch me, but he always pulled away and got himself together. I was left in need, wondering if there was something wrong with me. It drove me absolutely crazy.
“I’m fine. It is not that big of a deal. You stop thinking about it after a while.”
“Uh huh.”
Her face told me that I was full of shit and once again, I didn’t blame her. It did matter and bringing up David wasn’t helping anything at all.
***
Getting home that evening, there was a part of me that wanted to call Caroline and get David’s number. I was sure that if I called her, I would get a hold of him and then I would feel better. He had known my body, manipulated it like it was his own and made me feel a way that I had never felt before. There was a strong possibility that I would never feel that way again and the idea of that bothered me.
I didn’t call her though. I wasn’t supposed to want David. It was obvious that he wasn’t the one for me. I am sure he was just trying to get laid. He was in town and he thought that I was easy. That was all it was. Then why did I want to see him so badly, knowing exactly what he was and what he wanted from me? Why was I so tempted to know that he was close?
I tried to ignore the thoughts of our time together. It was hot, hotter than I had ever experienced before and I couldn’t concentrate. I went to bed early that night and didn’t wake up thinking about him. I took that as a win and decided to continue in that manner for the rest of the day.
Around noon my thoughts were drifting and instead of feeding into the need that my body liked to remind me of, instead I called Steve to see if he wanted to go out tonight. We usually went out on Fridays and Sundays, but I didn’t care what day it was. It was time for us to take the relationship to the next level. I had to get David out of my mind and I wasn’t afraid to use Steve to help me.
“Hey Carol. I didn’t expect to hear from you. Are you off work early?”
“No, I am hiding in the bathroom so I could talk to you.”
“Classy.”
“Yeah I know.”
“So what is up?”
“I just miss you Steve.”
“I will see you on Friday.”
“I know, I just, I don’t want to wait till Friday. I know that you work late through the week, but I was hoping that maybe you would make an exception and we could see each other tonight?” There was desperation in my voice that I knew was easy to hear. I couldn’t help it though. I was in dire need.
There was a pause on the other side of the phone, but I didn’t really read into too much. I knew that he had a thing about going out during the week, but he was going to have to get over that. I needed him and he was going to have to get over the waiting thing too. If he wanted to be with me, I had needs as well and almost three months was long enough in my eyes.
“Okay Carol, if you can’t wait. Do you want to go get something for dinner when I get off?”
“Why don’t I make you something and you can come over here?”
Another hesitation before he agreed. I had to wonder what it was that he had to think about. We were together after all and it was only a logical step.
“Yeah that will be good. What are you making?”
I hadn’t really thought about it, so I just said the first thing that came to mind. He wasn’t as enthused as I would have hoped, so I suggested something else before he agreed. “Good Steve. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yeah, why would you ask that?”
“I don’t know. You just don’t seem to really be acting like yourself.”
“No, I am good. I just miss you is all. I want to see my boyfriend.”
He told me that he wanted to see me as well, but I could tell that he knew. Something was up. I wasn’t going to deny it anymore. It was time to move on with Steve, so I could forget all about David.
Chapter 4
Steve
I got off of the phone with Carol and I had to wonder what it was that she wanted. She wasn’t a patient woman to begin with, but it seemed like now it was even worse. There was a part of me that wondered if she was going to break up with me. My heart hurt even thinking about it and it was the last thing that I wanted to happen. We hadn’t been going out that long, but it was th
e longest relationship that I had ever been in.
“Steve, are you going to take that call on 3? You know that the boss doesn’t like it when we leave the customers on hold.”
Waving Dave off, I tried to tone down the sudden aggravation. He was the type that stayed in everyone else’s business and it was usually mine that he was into. It drove me crazy and my fist was still tight when I answered the call.
“Yes Mr. Weimer. I understand that you are anxious, but that is how the stock market works. You have to handle a little risk. I wouldn’t put your money anywhere that I wouldn’t put my own.”
“I know that Steve, I am just watching this number fall and it is making me sick to my stomach.”
“Have a little faith Scott. It is all going to work out. I see the numbers. I am going to buy some more up for the short time once it hits 15. Then you will see. Give me 24 hours and everything will start to make sense and I am sure you are going to feel better.”
“That is all of the money I have Steve. I need to know that everything is going to be okay.”
I told him again that it was. I knew that he had a lot of money on the line, but I still didn’t like to be questioned about any one trade. He had given me his money to work with, that was a lot of trust, but now he wasn’t so sure and I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to keep making him money.
“I can sell your position now, but you are going to take a loss.”
“What about the fact that it is going lower?”
I couldn’t tell him that I knew some information that was about to come out and the stocks were going to take a huge rally once the company’s big contract was announced. I almost wanted him to tell me to pull out, just so he could feel like an ass when he found out that it was all under control. I didn’t like the loss of confidence on his part. It made me mad more than anything else.
“You do what you want. If you leave it with me, this is what I am going to do. If you want to pull out, cut your loss, but don’t call me tomorrow.”
“Steve, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It doesn’t matter Scott. Tell me what you want me to do?”
“I want you to make me money.”
“That is what I have done for several years. Nothing has changed. Stop getting spooked. I have to go.”
I didn’t wait for an answer on the other end. It didn’t matter what it was that he wanted. I knew that it was going to go my way. I had studied the stocks and companies they represented for too long. Not to mention the steady stream of insider information that I got.
The call irked me and I thought about taking off early to see Carol. She was just what I needed after a stressful day like today. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see her, but I had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be good news. It was never good news when a woman wanted to see me out of the blue. I had to take a break to get my anxiety down. When it came to stocks, I had more confidence than sense, but when it came to women, Carol in particular, I was afraid that anything I did would make her leave me. She already had way more control over me than I think she would ever realize.
***
“It is good to see you baby.”
She kissed me on the lips after she opened the door. I could tell right away that something was different. Carol was kissing me like she had the first time months ago. There was passion and need in the kiss, both things that I wasn’t ready for. I didn’t do well going down that route. It made everything too intense and I pulled away before more could happen. I felt like it was going to get out of hand if I let it.
“It is good to see you too Carol. How was your day?”
The woman took my coat as I moved into her house. It was clean and tidy like always, but now the place was filled with the smell of dinner.
“Pretty good. I just missed you today Steve. How was your day? You sounded a little stressed out when I called earlier.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Clients are just getting scared, but I am used to it by now.”
She didn’t even pretend to care what it was I did for a living. I didn’t blame her, it wasn’t the most riveting work, but there was a big part of me that loved the chaos and the risk. The rest of my life was so safe and secure, it was nice to have some time that it wasn’t.
“Well you are going to prove them wrong, I am sure of it.”
I agreed with her, but I was too busy looking at the red dress she was wearing. It was shorter than usual and like her kiss, there was a way that she was swaying her hips that I swore she was doing on purpose. I was seeing a whole other side of Carol and I wasn’t sure what to think of it. She had always been okay with taking things slow, but if I didn’t know any better, I would think that all of that had changed. Maybe she wasn’t interested in doing it my way anymore. Here I was worried about her wanting to leave me, but it looks like it was because of something altogether different. If she was a cat, she would have been in heat and I couldn’t stop the reaction from her need. It was palpable in the air.
“I will. Um, it smells good.”
“I am sure you will like it. It is one of my grandmother’s best recipes.”
I couldn’t really think, all of the blood draining from my body. I didn’t want to go down this road with her. Everything would change and it would all be ruined. I liked it how it was and even though I was solid as a rock, I moved into the kitchen away from the beautiful woman that was ready to give me everything that kept me up at night. That seemed wrong in so many ways.
Moving to the stove, I opened the lid to see what it was that smelled so good. I couldn’t identify half of it, but it did smell good and I hoped that it tasted half as good as the aroma suggested.
“So what is this?”
Carol looked put-off a little bit and I had a feeling that it was because of the fact that I wasn’t paying attention to her hot body. She moved with such determination that it was obvious that she wanted me to notice. I did, far more than I wished I had, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was me keeping my cool and not putting my hands where they so desperately wanted to be.
“Just a stew. I don’t think it really has a name. She made it every Sunday after church. Just kind of tradition that I thought you might like. Are you ready to eat?”
Her eyes tried to find out what was wrong. She wanted to ask me if I didn’t like the dress, or her, something, but I looked away like I had many times before and told her that I was famished. I was in desperate need of many things that I was sure she would have no problem satisfying.
We sat down and it was quiet for a while. Carol told me about her friend at work Mona, the one that I heard a lot about, but she sounded like a floosy. It was hard to imagine how the two had become friends when they were so far away from each other in actions and attitude. Mona sounded like a mess and even though I knew that Carol had been wild before we met, I shuddered to think of her as bad as her friend.
After dinner, there was dessert and I was thankful for a little more time. I had dodged sexy looks all night, ones that were rather hard to ignore. Carol was practically begging for it and it was becoming harder to concentrate with the stiffness below the belt. Her attention went to my bulge several times, so much that I had to turn my body away as to hide it. After dinner, there was nowhere left to hide and when she suggested I stay for a movie, I desperately tried to figure out a way to tell her no and not get her mad.
“I have an early morning Carol. I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Come on Steve. We can watch anything you want. I just want to sit next to you and just be together. Doesn’t that sound nice to you?”
“It does, I just don’t know if it is a good idea. You know I have to get up early for work and tomorrow is a day I can’t be late for. There is a lot of money on the line.”
“Come on, please.”
She looked at me like she was going to cry or she was about to lose herself if I didn’t say yes. How could I say anything else? I knew it was going to get me in trouble, but I didn’t care.
It didn’t take long for her desires to be known. She never was one to beat around the bush and this was no exception. She leaned her head against my chest and then onto my lap. Her eyes were half-closed and she reached down to pull me to her. The kiss was like the one at the door, full of demand and it left no room for more time. It was going to have to be now or she may not be mine anymore.
“Are you sure you want to do this Carol? We don’t have to. I enjoy just being with, being around you and doing things.”
‘”I want to Steve, so badly.”
“What changed?”
She sat up a little and propped her head on her hand. “What do you mean?”
“Something is different today. You never call me like that at work and I don’t know, it is just a different vibe now.”
“I just want you Steve, that’s all. I have needs and it has been a long three months with no real physical touch.”
“We touch all of the time.”
“You know what I mean.”
I did know what she meant, but I was trying to prolong the inevitable. I wanted it to stay just the way it was. I didn’t want it to get awkward and the obsessive feelings to come back that I knew came with it.
“I guess I do. You are talking about sex?”
She shook her head and told me that I was right. “Most of the time it is the guy that can’t control himself.”
“I don’t have much control in that department.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“I have tried really hard not to show that side to you. I like it the way things are now.”
“I want more Steve. I need more from you than just companionship. I want you to make love to me and show me how much you care.”
It was those words that made the decision I had been fighting for so long. Her voice was small and ever so appealing. How could I say no to a request like that?
