by Lauren Wood
“But now?”
Now I found out who it was and wanted to move again. I had run from Marcus before. He had been trouble ten years ago and looking at him now, he looked like even more trouble now. Now he looked like he was the king of it and I could already feel the draw to him. I always had a magnetic pull for the bad boy and Marcus still fit the bill, though we weren’t cutting class in school any longer, so desperate to see each other.
“Now I see that it won’t be necessary Marcus. We go way back, right?” It was the understatement of the world, but he didn’t yearn for me like I had for him. If he had, I might not of left, but I knew that it was a one way street.
“Yeah we do Angela.”
“So that tattoo…”
He looked away for a moment and I wished then that I could read his mind and hear his thoughts. What was behind that look that he gave me now? I shouldn’t have brought it up, but how could I not when it had been staring up at me.
“It was a mistake. Some broad I met a couple of years back.”
“I see you stuck with the same line Marcus. It was a good line.”
Marcus’ green eyes flared and if I didn’t know any better, I would have said that he was mad at me. I don’t know what I did wrong. The tension in his jaw was prominent and I could see the jump as he clenched his teeth together.
“Yeah it worked well in getting those panties to drop, didn’t it?”
My face turned red at the reminder and I groaned inwardly. I should have just let it go. I could have gone weeks, months even without seeing the neighbor up close and having this conversation with a ghost. My propriety had made me come over here and I was cursing what I now started to see as a character flaw.
“Yes it did. I was young and not very bright back then.”
He chuckled and I felt his eyes on my body. He was looking me up and down from my head to my toes and even though I shouldn’t, I really wanted him to like what he saw. I certainly did. The years had been kind to him and he was even more handsome now that he was a man. Attraction had never been the problem with us. It had been the big stuff that had ruined it all.
“I see you still have your claws. I always liked that side of you.”
“Yeah? I seem to remember you hated that side of me Marcus. But time has a way of making us remember things a little differently, doesn’t it?”
“No, I remember everything just the way it was. Damn it has been a long time Angela.”
I wanted to get away from the nostalgia talk. I asked him about his bike and what he was doing to it. Machines had always been his hobby and if it happened to go fast, well it was all the better for it. I missed the slight smell of grease when I would kiss him after working on something. Back then it was an old Chevelle that he worked on more than he drove. He loved that car and I still could see the baby blue paint in my mind.
“What about the Chevelle? You still have it?”
It was the first car that we made love when we were dating. He was my first and was my only for several years. I had some very fond memories in that car and I would have loved to see it again.
“Not here, but it is around.”
“That was a great car Marcus.”
“Yeah it was.” He had this faraway look in his eyes when he looked my way. It was like he was seeing me, but not really seeing me. What was going on in that head of his?
“It is good to see you again Marcus, but I got a few errands to run.”
“Where is your car?”
“I don’t really drive and since I moved back here I didn’t think I would need it, so I sold it before I came.” After a bad breakup, I had to sell the car to get home, but that wasn’t information that I was going to offer up. He didn’t know about that. I wanted Marcus to think that everything was okay. He didn’t need to know anything more than the basics. I can’t get roped up with a man like him again. It almost broke me last time.
“If you ever need anything Angela, don’t hesitate to ask. We are neighbors now and I would like to catch up one day soon.”
I agreed that I would and we should, but I walked back across the street knowing that we can’t. I can’t get involved with him again. I barely made it out of it the first time and it had always been impossible to say no to Marcus.
Chapter 3
Marcus
I watched her walk back across the street like it was nothing. Angela was back and she was acting like there wasn’t some unfinished business between us. We go way back, she said. That was something I would say to a girl that I had a one night stand with. What me and Angela had was the realest relationship that I had ever had. She was the one that had turned me hard against love, because I knew that no one else would ever be enough. If I couldn’t have Angela, then I didn’t want anyone at all. She was all I could think about, all that I had needed. Now she looked at me as if I was a stranger.
It took me a while to pull myself together enough to turn the music back on and get back to changing the oil in the bike. It was due and the sun was out. Now I wanted to go inside into the darkness and drink away any feelings that wanted to bubble up inside of me. I didn’t want to feel them. I didn’t want to feel anything that had to do with Angela. Melissa was looking like a saint next to Angela. At least Melissa couldn’t really mess me up. She took some things and broke even more, but that was nothing. Everything was replaceable, but the half of my heart that that woman carried off with her when she left was not.
My phone rang and it was Lucas calling me in. I was happy for the distraction and jumped at the chance for some work. It had been slow lately ever since we got a new player in the city. Lucas wanted to keep things quiet for a while and I hoped that the call meant that things were going to change. I didn’t care who was new and trying for territory, we had been here a long time and the Devil’s weren’t going anywhere.
The time away also meant that I would have something to occupy my time besides Angela. She had gotten enough of my thoughts and time over the years and she had had enough. The woman didn’t even act like it mattered what happened back then. I was going to have to pretend the same. It felt impossible when I even mentioned it to myself, but it was what had to happen. It had been too long and she was different now.
The drive to Lucas’ house was refreshing and I went as fast as I could without getting pulled over. I missed the wind in my short hair and the more I thought about it, the more I started to think that I needed to get out of the city for a while to clear my head. Things were getting complicated and the best thing to do was get of town before I did something stupid.
“Good to see you Marcus. You have been busy lately and I haven’t gotten to see you much. How is Melissa?”
“Gone.”
Lucas smirked and then shook his head. “She was beautiful, but I could see that she was complicated.”
Complicated didn’t even start to describe her, but she was easier than other woman I was thinking about. At least Melissa was just crazy and it was something that was known when you got with her. She was marked with a danger sign. I never got the same warning with Angela. That was why it was so hard to deal with all of these years, I never saw it coming.
“Complicated wasn’t a word. The place was so bad that someone called the cops about a robber when I had to break in last night and they didn’t believe that I lived there. She broke and stole everything that was worth anything.”
Lucas whistled and made a remark about how happy he was to be out of the dating game. “I gave it up. Women are too much drama for me. You are better just sticking to bed warmers. Then they leave in the morning and you don’t have to hear all of the rest of it.”
“I think I am with you on that one. Melissa killed it for me for a while.”
“Too bad.”
“Why?” Lucas had a grin on his face.
“She was here a little while ago looking for you.”
“I was home. I don’t know why she came here.”
He shrugged. “Who knows what goes on in their
heads? She may be looking for another member to take her on. There is no loyalty with women like her. She just wants the jacket and the bike. The rest of it doesn’t matter.”
It was hard to hear it said about my relationship or whatever it had been. I didn’t care about her, but I liked to think that it was a little harder than that to replace me.
“Well it doesn’t matter. She is gone and she is never coming back.”
He nodded his head like he agreed, but the grin on his face said that he wasn’t so sure. Maybe I wasn’t sure either. Melissa would be a welcomed distraction after the day I was having.
***
“I’m glad you called me Marcus. I didn’t know what to do after our fight the other day.”
Melissa was talking fast and I wished that I had been driving my bike when I went to the bar earlier. Here I was trying to get Angela off of my mind with a few beers and I ran into Melissa instead. She was hanging out there and I wasn’t sure if Lucas was right or not about why she was there. Was she there for me or was she just in line to find another biker to ride on the back of his bike with?
Hell, it didn’t matter. I had her with me to keep me from thinking about another woman. There was nothing wrong with that. I knew that she was crazy, but she was also good at other things that would make any man forget his own name, let alone whatever it was that ailed him. I just had to get her out of the place by morning. The morning was when there was all of the talking that got us in trouble in the first place.
“I am sorry about what happened the other day Marcus. I really am.”
My eyes were looking across the street as I pulled in. Angela was out on her porch and she looked good. How was I supposed to forget about her, when she was so close?
“Is that the new neighbor?”
“Yeah, I think you know her. We went to school together senior year, but maybe she was already gone when you started.”
Melissa looked over into the neighbor’s yard and shrugged. “I don’t think so.”
“She was a cheerleader. Pretty popular back then.”
Melissa wrinkled her nose. “No I don’t think I know her. What was her name again?”
“Angela Madden.”
“I know her. She was the head cheerleader, wasn’t she?”
I shook my head and hoped that there was no connection. “Yeah.”
“You should invite her over for a drink. She was the girl that everyone wanted to be in school. I would like to see what she is up to nowadays, don’t you?”
Melissa was already getting out of the car and I was cursing myself for opening my big mouth. What the hell was I thinking bringing her back here? It didn’t matter what I thought though. Melissa was already across the street and talking to Angela. This was not going to end well.
The two women started back over across the street towards me and I could see that Angela was grinning at me. What was on her mind and why was she coming over?
“She invited me for a drink. I couldn’t refuse.”
Angela smirked and I knew that she was judging me on Melissa. She was pretty and vicious, but she wasn’t very bright, not like Angie was.
“Well let me see what I got. I don’t know if I have any wine coolers.”
“Don’t worry Marcus, I graduated to hard liquor years ago.”
Melissa looked from me to Angela and I had a feeling that she wished she hadn’t brought her over. It was going to be clear that I knew Angela better than just as a neighbor. Melissa had only been gone a few days and she was not going to take kindly to that. I knew her too well.
“Great, then let’s go in. I love seeing people from the old high school. I had some of my best memories there.”
I had some of the worst there and I think that Angela was agreeing with me from the silence that was coming from her. It was deafening and the look on her face made me nervous.
“So did you know Marcus when you were in school?”
Angela looked to me for an answer, but I wasn’t stupid enough to say anything. I was too busy trying to hide the fact that my house was bombarded two days before by the woman in front of me. She had made a mess of things and I hadn’t really done much to the wreckage left behind.
“We knew each other a bit Melissa. I don’t remember you though. Were you in our class?”
She shook her head and told Angela that she was a few years behind. “I didn’t meet Marcus until I graduated and he was at the shop in town. Since then we have been inseparable.”
I wouldn’t have went that far with it, but we had been off and on again for a couple of years. The key thing to remember though was that we were off far more than we were on. She was the familiar madness that I went back to, just like I had this time.
“Well that is nice. When are you going to marry her Marcus?”
Angela was smiling and I could tell she was enjoying herself. What I didn’t see was the way Melissa was looking between us. And I didn’t see the look in her eyes when she realized where she had seen that name before. That was going to come later when Angela left.
She didn’t stay too long, just long enough to get Melissa going and to make sure that everything between us was complicated. Angela didn’t know the storm she had caused. I wouldn’t even know it until later when I was looking at the aftermath. For now, it was just uncomfortable and I was sure that I had made a mistake bringing Melissa back. What the hell had I been thinking?
I don’t know what I thought it was going to solve. Angela was still on my mind and now I had a crazy chick to deal with. This was certainly not the best idea that I had ever had. I couldn’t even bring myself to sleep with Melissa, not when what I wanted was just across the street.
“Let’s just lay together Melissa.”
“You have never said that to me in as long as I have known you Marcus.”
“Well maybe I should have. I just don’t feel like it tonight.”
She had a dark look on her face that made me nervous. What made her so mad all of a sudden?
Chapter 4
Marcus
“Did I see Melissa coming out of there this morning?”
My head shook and though what Kevin seen was true, I knew that I didn’t want to admit to that fact. I was the idiot that had brought her back over and I knew that Kevin was thinking I was an idiot at the moment. Maybe I was. I should have known better. Really I should have.
“Yeah, that was her.”
“Damn Marcus, I thought you had gotten rid of that crazy ass woman.”
“I did.”
“She tore that house up, didn’t she?”
“Yeah I still haven’t picked some of it up.” The things that I was talking about was still in the yard and on the porch. It looked like she had thrown a lot of my things out in the yard. At least I didn’t live in a neighborhood where this would be a big problem.
Kevin just shook his head like I was crazy and maybe I was. I don’t know what I was thinking about, but I wanted to forget about Angela. I hadn’t expected her to come over and want to mess with me and Melissa. That was what she had done and the more she had drank, the louder she had become. At one point, Angela had let it slip about us dating and Melissa had picked up on it. She didn’t say anything, but I had seen her face twitch. I hoped that it was nothing, but I had a feeling that hope wasn’t going to help me. Nothing was going to. I had messed up again and I was even more eager to do a couple of runs for Lucas. It would get me out of the city for a while.
“I hope you know what it is you are doing.”
“Of course.” I had no fricking idea what I was doing. That much was clear by the way that last night went down.
“So you two are back on again?”
I shrugged and told him that I didn’t think so. “It was one night and I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Kevin laughed and opened his car door. “You weren’t thinking Marcus, at least not with your head my friend.”
I hated that he was right, but I wasn’t going to mention how that wa
s wrong as well. We hadn’t even done anything and even just lying there hadn’t been enough to calm my mind. It was just like when she first left. I couldn’t think and I was a damn mess. Why the hell could that woman get to me like this?
Forgetting her and the drama that I had unleashed by the name of Melissa, I went back to Lucas’. He had some runs to do again today and even though it wasn’t usually my job, I jumped at the chance. If I didn’t stay busy, then something bad was going to happen. I knew the feeling and I couldn’t afford to get into any more trouble right now. Not after last month’s fiasco.
When I got to Lucas; house, there were a lot of people there and I was able to forget my troubles for a bit. David was there and I hadn’t seen him in a week. He had just gotten married and it seemed to be like a disease sweeping through the gang. No one knew who was next, though we all joked about whom it would be. It wouldn’t be me that was all that I knew.
“Hey David. Long time no see. How is married life treating you?”
He grinned and I wanted to hit him in the face. He just looked too damn happy. It made me sick and I wanted to knock the look off of his mouth.
“Great man. When are you and Melissa going to tie the knot? I heard that you two were back together.”
I looked to Lucas, the only one that knew anything about her and had to wonder if he was blabbing his mouth. I wouldn’t doubt it, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I was being an idiot and though I didn’t want them to know that, it appeared that everyone already did. I would never let them know about Angela. Then I would have the reputation that Joel had.
“We aren’t really back together. Just needed a woman to keep me warm last night was all that was.”
David grinned and told me that a heater may be better than a girl like Melissa. Everyone knew what she was and I was the moron that they thought didn’t seem to see it for how it was.
