But she couldn’t say anything. He wanted her friendship. Not her love. Not that kind of love, anyway.
She studied his face. “You’re right, Johnny.” She forced a smile. “I love our friendship. It’s perfect. I hope after you’re married and have a family, you’ll remember me.”
He snorted. “Remember you? Where are you going? You’ll still be here, won’t you? Well, you’ll be in your cottage. I’ll know where you live. I can drop by anytime… I hope.”
Johnny’s smile was so charming. She couldn’t help the way it lightened her mood. “You’re always welcome in my home. No matter what.”
He covered his sandwiched hand with the other one and squeezed hers. “Glad to hear that.”
They were both quiet. But there was so much Flo wanted to say. It was killing her thinking about Johnny going off with Marian to a fancy dinner, meeting a lot of high-brow people, providing Johnny with myriad opportunities Flo would never be able to give him.
Before the week-long project that kept them apart, Flo was getting the feeling Johnny was pulling away from Marian. But it could have just been her brain overreacting to being engaged. It wasn’t real. But it felt real to Flo. She never knew whether to feel happy or sad. The pain when the charade ended was going to be immense.
“Are you all right?” Johnny asked. She looked into his eyes and nodded. She was going to get really good at lying before this was over.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Don’t you worry about me, Johnny Mason. You have plenty on your plate already.”
“I’m just glad you are still on my side. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Flo stood up, pulling her hands from his. It felt too real for him to hold her that way. He looked confused and got to his feet, reaching out to her. She cringed when he took her arm.
“I thought you said you’re fine. Obviously there’s something wrong. Won’t you tell me what it is?”
She pressed her lips together but smiled through the defeated look she was giving him.
“I am. I just… the way we act in public gives an impression and I know it’s all show. I just need a little time.”
“But you’ve had a week without me.” He sounded hurt. She scanned his expression but didn’t know what she was searching for. “I thought you missed me.”
“I did miss you.” Flo crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned so he was behind her. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Looking at him would distract her from what she wanted to say. “I missed you more than you know. Seeing you again made my day. But I… still need some time. To think.”
She sucked in a sharp breath when his hands wrapped around her arms again and she sensed his body right behind her.
“Don’t go yet, Flo,” he breathed into her ear. “I haven’t had enough time with you yet.”
Chills covered her body.
Chapter 21
Johnny couldn’t stand to see Flo looking so devastated. She’d been that way since he mentioned the dinner party. He knew from the beginning she was only playing along because she wanted the land. But maybe she was also keeping an eye on him, making sure he wasn’t being hurt more than usual.
The fact that he thought those words made him stop and consider them. More than usual. Why would he allow himself to be hurt at all? Marian had taken the bait. She was showing him more attention. He was getting what he wanted.
He’d changed his mind. His heart wanted something else now. He should jump at the chance to go to a party with Marian. One where she would be on her best behavior and show him off as her beau.
He remembered when he’d thought that would be the best thing in the world. It seemed like so long ago.
He was still up late that night, the memory of Flo pulling away from him earlier that day and not looking back as she walked away swimming through his mind repeatedly. She hadn’t stayed with him. He’d practically begged her but she didn’t stay. She walked away from him.
For a while, he almost convinced himself she was playing the part because if he was to go to the party with Marian, he would most certainly have to break off his “engagement” to Flo beforehand. There was no way he would make Marian into the “other woman”; not that she wouldn’t fit the part if he did. She didn’t know how to be discreet, though, so everyone in Hot Springs and all of Austin would know and word would get back to Flo.
How could he tell Flo he didn’t want to break it off? He didn’t want to go to the dinner party as much as he claimed. He didn’t want to go anywhere with Marian anymore.
He should be thrilled. Instead, he was angry with himself for letting this happen. Eight years he’d had a chance to fall in love with Flo. Eight years of being friends. Now, he would be lucky if she ever thought of him as anything more than a friend.
He slid out of his bed, tired of the shadow-walkers crawling on his ceiling, a creepy reflection of how he was feeling inside.
Johnny pulled on his robe and his boots and went out the front door as quietly as he could. He took a lantern from the front porch and walked with it across to the barn. He did some of his best thinking in the barn. The loft window opened from ceiling to floor, allowing him one of the most beautiful views of the Texas landscape he believed he could ever see. He’d been using that spot as a place to ponder his troubles since he was just a little boy.
He could see most of the town of Hot Springs from there, too, as it was in a valley at the bottom of the hill the ranch was placed on. If he was a lawman, he knew where he’d go to keep an eye on the town.
He crept into the barn, glancing to his right, holding the lantern up to his face so the dogs could see who it was. He didn’t really need to. They knew his scent and weren’t even stirred by his presence. They were probably used to him coming in at odd hours during the night.
Johnny climbed the ladder and stepped off the top rung, onto a wooden floor covered with hay and bits of twine mixed in with a heavy coat of dust. He held the lantern up and walked to the bay door. Using the lever on the right side of the door, he opened it, lowering the door so that it hung from hinges on the side of the building.
Years before, he’d built a folding chair that he kept propped in the corner of the loft. On one of his recent trips, he’d brought a cushion for the chair so his legs and rear end wouldn’t go numb if he sat for a long time.
He pulled the chair and cushion over to the opening, and set it up near the edge so he could feel the breeze coming through.
Finally, Johnny sat in the chair, leaning forward so his elbows were propped on his knees. He laced his fingers together and bowed his head.
“I think I got myself into something, Father,” he prayed aloud. “Made a mistake. I don’t think I should have made some of these decisions I’ve made. I’m hurting Flo. At least, I think I am. I don’t want to do that. I just… don’t know how she really feels. What if I tell her how I feel and she… she…” He didn’t know how to continue. He didn’t think she would laugh at him but if she did…
His chest tightened painfully.
She didn’t have to laugh, anyway. All she had to do was say no. Their friendship would be ruined. He would look like a fool. She would never treat him the same after that. There would be tension.
Not that there wasn’t tension already. Something was bothering her more than before they’d started their charade. She was vehement about Marian being the wrong woman for him. But was she willing to offer herself in exchange? And how was he supposed to find out without asking outright, which could possibly lead to the disastrous outcome he was thinking about?
He sighed, frustrated, pulling his eyebrows together, squeezing the bridge of his nose with the fingers of both hands.
“I wish You would just tell me what to do with this mess, Lord. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m gonna end up hurting someone I love, and I don’t want to do that. Give me some guidance; I ask in the name of Your son. I need Your help right now. Please give me strength and wisdom. And thank You for all
You already do for me. Amen.”
Johnny usually didn’t end his prayers early. Sometimes he would pray for hours, stopping every now and then to “listen”. He never audibly heard a voice and was glad about that. After all, he would have to be insane to hear the voice of God. He wasn’t Moses. He was nowhere near worthy of that.
But he valued his faith and was wishing now that he’d thought more about the consequences of what he was doing before he started manipulating the situation. If he’d let things proceed naturally, maybe he would have eventually seen Marian for who she really was. Maybe he would have realized that the best woman for him had been in front of him for eight years.
He stood up and stepped to the edge of the loft, holding onto the side with one hand. He swept his eyes across the land, noting how many stars glittered in the black sky above him. The moon was bright enough to light up the land, casting shadows all around him. The sound of crickets and forest creatures skittering through twigs and dried leaves met his ears like a song of night sounds. He would never get bored of the peace he felt when the land around him was quiet.
A sound he wasn’t used to met his ears and drew his attention away from the beauty of the land he saw in front of him. He lifted his head and listened closer.
It was the sound of the dogs growling. He knew that dogs sometimes had bad dreams. To make sure, he walked quietly past the chair and went to the top of the ladder to look down at the animals.
When he’d come in, they were sleeping, both on one large cushion his pa used as a dog bed. Now they were both up, staring at the barn door, and both were growling. Very low. No barking.
What had they heard that he hadn’t? Chills ran over his arms. He moved quickly but quietly to the bay door and pulled the lever to close it. He turned it as slowly as he could, moving his eyes over the land to see if he could spot any moving lanterns or peculiar human-shaped shadows.
He left the bay door slightly open so he could see through it if he needed to.
Johnny went back to the ladder and moved down it, crossing quickly to the small room at the front. He kept a spare gun in the locked cabinet in there just in case he was caught without one.
The dogs acknowledged his presence but remained stock still, staring at the barn door, baring their teeth. They were large black German Shepherds, his pets when he was young, his guard dogs as an adult. They were in the prime of their lives, healthy as could be and ready to defend the ranch from bandits and outlaws whenever they were needed.
“Someone out there, boys?” he murmured.
Tiny, the dog on the left who was quite large and the opposite of his name, gave him an answering growl, louder than before.
He took that to mean yes; there was someone outside. He went into the small room, pulling open a small hidden panel and retrieving the keys from inside. Johnny’s hands were steady as he slipped the key in the cabinet lock and pulled open the door. He was pleased to see two pistols, both Smith & Wessons, sitting on the bottom shelf of the cabinet.
Pulling out one and then the other, he used the barrel of one to close the cabinet door with an almost silent “click”.
Chapter 22
Johnny stood still for almost two full minutes before he heard what the dogs must have heard. It was the sound of shuffling feet. Whoever was outside had come on foot. He didn’t recognize the sounds he was hearing and tried to guess at what was going on.
Holding the guns at the ready, Johnny put his back against the wall and slid along till he reached a window. He leaned forward and back quickly to peek out. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. But he’d looked so quickly that he didn’t trust that there was nothing to be seen out there.
He peeked around through the glass again, this time staying in place for long enough to give the area a good look. No one was there. He was about to pull back when he saw movement. It was just a shadow but it played across the bunkhouse, reflecting the light of the moon. That meant someone was coming around to the side of the barn where the window was. He stood up straight, pressing his back against the wall and trying not to breathe loudly.
His heart slammed in his chest while he waited for whoever was out there to get to the window. Anticipating that they would look inside, he quickly moved to the other side of a tall bale of hay and squatted. He peeked over several times but saw no one at the window. The fourth time he lifted up slowly, he caught the sight of someone passing the window. It looked like a man with broad shoulders, wearing black. He was looking down. His arms were moving up and down.
Johnny narrowed his eyes, wondering what the man was doing. He had a sneaking suspicion and crawled on upright legs to the wall. He bent down on all fours and put his face close to the corner of the building.
His suspicion was right. His heart raced when he smelled the scent of kerosene. His eyes flicked to the lantern sitting on the floor by the front door. It was down on its lowest setting.
Whoever was outside was planning to set the barn on fire.
Anger split through Johnny. His hands gripped the guns tightly. Were they going to stop at the barn, a building that had no people in it? Or were they planning to set the entire compound on fire and kill every man, woman and child on the property?
Several of the ranch hands had built houses near the main house and had their families there. His father rented out three acres to an old friend of his who had fallen on hard times. There were usually two men in the bunkhouse; the cook and one man who had no family.
Johnny didn’t understand why anyone would want to hurt him or his father. Who was the Juan Rivera character they’d been asking about? The man in town had told him to ask his father. He would know. But John Sr. never wanted to talk to Johnny about his past or his problems. He was a man who dealt with things on his own.
Johnny thought this was the one time his father should have opened up to him. It was obvious someone was after them but Johnny had no idea why.
He pushed himself to his feet but stayed in a crouched position, going to the door. He beckoned to the dogs, telling them to come to him. He hushed them both, patting them on their heads to calm them down.
“We gotta get these guys before they do too much damage,” he whispered. “You two be careful. I don’t want you getting shot.”
He wished they understood what he was saying. They were antsy, trying to break away from him. They were ready to go through the door as soon as he pulled it open.
He pulled in a deep breath and turned the knob. The dogs wanted to go out but he was making them wait by slowly pulling on the door. Letting them run through by yanking the door open would have alerted whoever was outside and anyone with him.
But Johnny wasn’t about to let his dogs be burned alive. He had to let them out of the barn before it caught fire. Quickly formulating a plan, he peeked through the crack in the door before pulling it open wide enough for the dogs to go out. He had a feeling they were going to run after the bandits and probably both be shot before they could get a bite in.
To his surprise, neither dog started barking. They both went quickly through as soon as the door was open enough. Kit went to the right. Tiny went to the left. He watched them sniffing the outside of the building.
He was impressed.
He crept through the door, wishing he had his holster belt on so he could have one free hand. He reached behind him to pull the door closed. Looking to the left and right, hoping he wouldn’t be seen, he hopped across the yard to the chow house, which was about twenty yards from him. There was no one in the chow house at this time of night. He looked at the edges of the building as he skirted it but saw no liquid fuel and didn’t smell it either.
Johnny turned his head to look at the bunkhouse, which was very near the chow house. It wouldn’t take him long to get to it. But there was a problem.
True Love Leaves no Doubts: An Inspirational Historical Romance Book Page 13
