When he said it like that, it sounded like I’d planned on inventorying what he had, which wasn’t what I’d intended to do from the beginning. “No, I mean, yes, I did. I’m sorry, it’s a habit of mine. I just can’t help it. I saw everything in there, and while I was cleaning, I just had to write stuff down, so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed. It’s just something I do when I’m anxious.” Like rambling. Rambling was a nervous habit of mine.
Logan reached out and touched my hand. “It’s okay. I don’t think being organized is a bad thing. I’m grateful that you did. It saves a lot of time. I know that you organize when you’re nervous. I’ve seen the kitchen.” He winked at me and his touch was calming.
“I haven’t listed the things out here, or the garage, or even the basement, but just the stuff inside is enough to get you a healthy chunk of money. Maybe that would help you out?” I didn’t want to say a ballpark number, but I had a feeling it’d be pretty stout.
“A couple hundred wouldn’t hurt, but I can’t see it making a huge dent. I’d appreciate any help you can offer, though.” Hope lightened his eyes, and he looked at me sideways. “Rachel, sometimes I think you were sent by an angel. I’m not sure how to put this online. Is that something you would be able to help me with? I’ll make it worth your while.”
The fact that he liked my plan warmed me. I was tempted to just blurt out how I felt about him right there, but maybe that would be relationship overload. I already recommended we sell everything in the house. He certainly didn’t need me to declare my love for him at the same time. That would be a lot to take in just a few minutes.
“I would love to. I’ll just charge a nominal fee.” Then I winked at him, taking a page from his book. Could we be turning a corner in our relationship? I didn’t want a wall between us.
He crowed, laughter bouncing off the walls of the barn. “And she teases. Keep it up, Rachel, and I’ll never let you out of my sight.”
Never let me out of his sight? My body jolted as if he’d touched me with his hands and not just his words. If he didn’t stop teasing me, my heart would declare herself right there.
Chapter 16
Thanks to my crazy need for organization, the inventory was already created.
All I had to do was go around and take pictures. My phone would work well for that, and I could upload everything with my computer. Using the inventory spreadsheet, I checked off each item as I took pictures of them, noting how many I took and anything in particular that stood out that I needed to put into the descriptions that wasn’t readily apparent in the photos.
With another task to focus on, my purpose had been restored. I hated that Logan was working an extra job. There was no way I would let him pay for my own money issues. I couldn’t do that – married or not. He needed to take care of him. I hadn’t come all that way to add to his stress.
One place I’d never needed to be validated was my organization. I knew what I did was valuable. Even as I’d been harassed by my family for my continual organizational control, I’d never been hurt by their comments. Jealousy was something I could live with.
Creating an account on the auction site for Logan, I used my email to make sure I was notified immediately of any questions or sales that came up. Setting up a Paypal account was easy as well. With how little he knew about it, I assumed he didn’t have one yet. Due to the fact that I didn’t have his bank information, I set him up to receive checks.
Every once in a while, I snapped a selfie to put in the app to show that I was at least trying to help him.
I started small and posted only four items. Since he was a brand-new user, his rating wouldn’t be visible and that would be harder to sell things. I optimized the descriptions and edited the photos to make them stand out on the pages.
How many times would I look for him? Every time a branch from a bush brushed a window, I jerked my head up from the laptop. My heart would increase its rate and then I’d catch my breath only to find it was a stupid branch.
Seeing him calmed me, like I’d been looking for him all my life and there he was, so all was right with the world. All my fears and insecurities overflowed when we weren’t around each other. He had to know how important he was to me. Maybe as I sold a few items, he would see my efforts and know that it was all for him. Would he then know how much I cared?
If I could get us out of the worst of our financial concerns, would he feel free enough to pursue something with me? Would I?
Ditching the headache with Derek was really the only way I was going to be able to seek out anything permanent with anyone. Even the husband I was falling so hard for, a parachute wouldn’t hold me up.
While I waited for some kind of action on Logan’s items, I allowed myself to worry about the situation with Derek. My poor parents. What could I do?
On the off chance my mom didn’t know for sure what she was talking about regarding printouts versus digital copies, I decided to reach out to the lawyer she’d listed as defending me and them. Googling his information, I got his email and sent him the packet of information in a zip folder.
No matter how useless it was, at least I was doing something to try to help. I couldn’t let Derek destroy my life or my parents’. I spoke out loud while I typed my message to the lawyer.
Dear Mr. Berkowitz,
I have sent you all of these hardcopies via certified mail, but I thought I would also take an opportunity to email them to you for an instant receipt. These are time stamped and obviously have the IP address that they came from. I also have the text messages attached with the pictures as well as all of the documentation that Derek had given me telling me to just “get out” and that he “didn’t want anything else to do with me.” He doesn’t have the right to go after my parents and freeze their accounts simply because they helped me.
I scowled at the laptop screen. What was I forgetting?
He expressly said he didn’t want any of my money. You’ll also note that in the very last email he declared I was numerous things, most of them degrading. Please, help me to know what else I can do to assist you in this case, and I appreciate anything that you help me with. Sincerely,
Rachel O’Neil.
I read over it again, nodding as I got into the topic and my outrage at the injustice of my situation caught up to me. It wasn’t fair and I at least deserved “fair”.
All of the documents attached easily, and I had to open and send another email to send the pictures. I tried not to think about how many people would be reading the messages from Derek and all the things he called me and said about me. The ways that he talked about me behind my back to his girlfriend in the texts interspersed with the naked pictures of them made me want to vomit.
Why wouldn’t he give me the freedom from him I needed? If I had to go through more humiliation then so be it, I’d do it. I pressed send and shoved the stress from my mind. I’d done everything possible that I could from Idaho. At some point, I had to accept my limitations and try to work within them.
A notification from my email blinged on my laptop speakers. Then another. Then another. And again. The blings totaled four.
Had I sent to the wrong email or something? My inbox had four bolded subject lines, each starting with, “Congratulations, your item has sold!”
Wait, I only had four items up. I tilted my head and stared at the screen. How had all four items sold that fast?
Was that even possible? I had done a really high buy-it-now price. They were listed on seven day auctions with a low starting price to see where they would go and the buy-it-now price had been almost four times what they were actually listed as being worth.
I skipped opening the emails and went straight to the account to verify the sales had been made. Yep, all of them had been purchased and paid for. I stared in disbelief at the account dashboard. How in the world?
My laptop thudded to the coffee table as I scrambled to my feet. Grabbing my phone and list, I took as many pictures as I could while the light was still good
. I had hit the jackpot with high demand collectibles. I needed to establish a shipping plan. Why hadn’t I done that before? If I was honest, it was because I hadn’t really thought I would need to. I created an account that attached to his auction site account and ordered the material I would need. They’d pick up the shipments in two business days.
I couldn’t believe it was happening. I was fixing something for him. The four items I’d sold for him had pushed him into four digits in minutes. Four items and four digits. Maybe four would be my new lucky number.
Listing more couldn’t have been easier. With the first four gone, I had viable justification that Logan had a real possibility of making extra money.
I was helping him. I was helping my husband. My heart swelled with excitement and gratitude.
Swiping the ClickandWed app, I snapped another selfie of what I was doing as well as a screenshot of the sales. I uploaded the picture into the app and typed, “I’m helping my husband sell things.” That would count as the thing I was fixing for him. I was so excited, giddiness danced in my chest.
If I could help him with his money, would he let himself get attached to me?
I listed four more items, but didn’t stop there. I continued listing on his account until I had thirty-five items. I was tired from having to come up with descriptions and pictures and prices, but they were selling, and I couldn’t stop smiling.
I would have to make dinner in only a few hours, the day was flying by so fast. It was a good day, though. At least where my husband was concerned. My email dinged again, had another one sold? I pressed my lips together with excitement and clicked on the email tab.
The newest email had a subject line reading re: Rachel O’Neil inquiry and the sender was the offices of Berkewitz and Sons. That was the fastest response I’d ever gotten regarding anything that had to do with my divorce. Most of the time, I was shuffled around until the last minute.
My heart pounded as I moved the arrow with my mouse to click the subject. Fast response usually meant negative results, or at least I prepared myself for that. He would say that I didn’t have a chance or something.
I squinted as I read, as if that would protect me from any bad news.
Ms. O’Neil,
I’m so glad to hear from you. Your parents had said that you were unreachable. I do not need these documents via certified mail. By email is more than acceptable.
After going over your documents, I guarantee that we are going to be able to reverse this, and I would highly suggest that you sue your ex-husband for damages as well as cost of litigation and defense. He kept the house, all of the vehicles, and all of your assets. You didn’t get anything. And it looks like you were the one who was working. At least for the first half of your marriage. You could even sue him for alimony.
Please, let me know how you would like to proceed. On a side note, I’m not sure where your parents got the information that their assets were frozen, but they have not been affected by this case and, in fact, have been in collusion with your ex-husband. The information I was given was that I was a formality because you didn’t ‘care’. Now, I can see that is not full disclosure and I will do my best to make sure you get what you deserve. Thank you again for reaching out to me. I would rather deal with you directly in the future.
I covered my mouth with my fingers and stared at the email. My parents had sabotaged me. On purpose. I wanted to throw up and felt like the air had been knocked out of me.
My rush from helping Logan crashed around me as I realized my family had never really loved me. I’d always known it, but to have it so blatantly shoved in my face and callously... I couldn’t process the nepotistic pain at the moment. I chose, instead, to clamp onto the joy I’d had before the email and the initial hope the lawyer’s claim had brought me.
I wasn’t in the wrong and Derek was going to pay for it. All of it. Justice would be delivered when my lawyer went after him.
Small consolation that I’d be free of my family soon enough.
I desperately hoped Logan would come in that night instead of going to buck wood. I didn’t want him to work the second job anymore. I wanted to see him and treasure our time together before we decided to split ways.
In no time, I really would be off on my own with no safety net to fall into. I couldn’t even call my parents to confront them yet. I could barely think about their actions and lies without my throat constricting.
The day was looming when I’d have to leave Logan and his home that was fast becoming mine. I didn’t want to miss any more time with him than absolutely necessary.
Did he feel the same way? Or was he still afraid of being attached?
Chapter 17
I got so wrapped up auctioning items and working on ignoring the pain my parents had caused, before I knew it two weeks had passed.
Logan still worked at the mill, and we hadn’t seen each other very much except for the occasional breakfast. Those meals had been quiet and subdued, filled with my longing and mounting regret and silenced excitement.
I couldn’t tell him about my parents’ betrayal or talk about the reprieve I may or may not be getting.
We both knew the end was coming, and we’d planned on it. I didn’t know how to beg him to change his mind. He’d decided not to get attached, not to care. I wished I could say the same, but I couldn’t. I didn’t even know how to approach the topic of staying together.
I’d been selling so many items from his house that the postal worker came to the house every day and picked up the packages and dropped off more empty boxes and labels. He was never there because of his job, so surprising him was going to be easier than I could’ve planned.
At that point, I was closer to hitting his goal than he was with his part-time job, and I still found time to do my client work and keep the house clean and feed him.
He had just left for lunch, and I was cleaning up when my phone rang. That tone never boded well, and I wasn’t excited for the pending confrontation. I glanced at the screen and grimaced at my mother’s face smiling at me with her too wide smile and too smugly applied makeup confirming my suspicion.
A prickling along my neck and upper shoulders warned me not to pick up the phone, that I might say something I would regret, but I ignored the warning. We were too far gone. They’d done too much to annihilate our relationship. The only reason I could justify picking up that phone, was getting an explanation. I definitely deserved an explanation.
I didn’t even miss them. I didn’t miss the way they made me feel, and I didn’t miss the way I doubted everything about myself when I was around them. I know it wasn’t very daughterly of me to say, but I was grateful for the time I had away from them. I’d learned rather quickly that I was more than anyone had ever let me believe I was.
I was sure I would regret it, but I answered anyway and with a curtness I’d never attempted before. “Mom.”
“Rachel, we just spoke with your lawyer. Apparently, he has switched over to you, now. Why are you so needy? We were trying to help you.” She snapped every word at me, as if she was biting them off from a piece of paper in order to save them like a hamster hoarding her food.
I held my respect tightly to my chest. “What were you going to get out of helping me? You weren’t attached to this at all. The simple fact that he threatened you because I moved in with you? It sounds more like he might have promised you something, if you helped him do what he wanted.” Which, as I spoke, made more and more sense.
Derek had promised something to my parents. My dad, being the jerk that he was, had taken him up on it. He didn’t care how much I suffered.
My mom spluttered and then spoke, speaking fast. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We were trying to help you and this is the thanks we get.” I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t. I knew too much.
“If you were trying to help me, you would’ve helped me. The lawyer said he didn’t need those papers mailed to him or to you. He also said you’ve been helping Derek.
I mailed the packet to you, which means since he didn’t get them you didn’t give them to him. They were delivered to your house. I don’t care what Derek promised you. I can tell you right now, I’m going to win, and I’m going to sue him. If you continue to get in the way of what I’m trying to accomplish, I will sue you as well.” I swallowed back my anger. Where had that come from? Could you even sue your parents? Was that actually something that could be done?
My words had gotten ahead of me, and I’d spoken rashly as my emotions claimed my control, but I couldn’t complain. Every word felt good to say. As much as I didn’t want to sue my parents, I would. I would stand by what I’d said. I wasn’t the type to back down after I said something.
And my mother knew it.
She fell quiet. I had her attention. Finally. All it took was a threat. A threat to get my mother’s attention. How sad was that? I tugged on the hem of my shirt and shook my head as I watched the bubbles in the sink pop. “I know that you probably think that’s harsh of me to say. But I don’t care. I’m done being bullied by you two.”
The feedback from the sudden silence clued me in that I was on speakerphone. My dad could probably hear everything. And for once, he didn’t have a reply.
My mom’s voice was soft and barely discernible. “He offered to split the money with us. We want to move closer to her your sis−”
Before I started to scream, I hung up. I had nothing left to say, and I didn’t want to hear what they were saying.
I was right. They’d sold me out. I had no reason to return. They’d rendered me numb. I wrapped up the next box for shipment.
Chapter 18
So many feelings wanted to burst out of me and I was locked in some kind of battle with Logan to not get too attached. We were both aching for a friend, but had to protect ourselves, too.
I wanted to sleep by him again. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted a chance to grow close to him.
With This Click, I Thee Wed (Click and Wed.com Series, #1) Page 12
