I kept thinking that I needed to back off and stop pursuing him so much. Deep down, I knew that I needed to distance myself from him, but it was so hard for me to do. Hard because I could tell he was holding back on me because of Lesa. I wanted him to come to his senses and realize that she wasn’t the one for him—I was. Marrying her would be a big mistake. But maybe I thought that way because I was the one in l-o-v-e, and love often made people think and do some crazy things sometimes. I understood that all too well, and I recognized that I was allowing Jonathan to have his cake and eat it, too. In the past, that was a no-no, but this time around I didn’t want to come off as the angry, bitter bitch who fussed about every little thing he did and said. I’d lost him by being that way before, and if I had to bite my tongue and walk away from arguments, that’s what I’d do. I was still worried about losing myself again, and I didn’t know how much hurt I’d be able handle this time around.
It was my wish that things got better between us, and, by five o’clock, things were looking up. He stopped at my desk and made an attempt to correct himself. Some of my anger had ceased by now, but I was still slightly on edge, so my facial expression was flat.
“Listen, Sylvia,” he said, off to a good start. His soft tone got my attention. “I didn’t mean to upset you earlier, but I would really like for you to keep this things between us on the down low. That’s all I ask. I don’t think that’s asking for much. Do you?”
My eyes narrowed as I gazed at him. I pressed my finger against my lips then winked. “Secret lovers we shall be. Whatever you want, Jonathan. Your secrets are always safe with me.”
My sarcasm didn’t work for him. He encouraged me to have a nice evening, and as he walked away, I turned my head to watch him. I truly felt as if we were traveling backward. I didn’t want to go that route, but I also knew that it would take a little time, effort, and a whole lot of patience on my part to get him back on my team.
CHAPTER 8
JONATHAN
There was a time when it bothered the hell out of me if I didn’t hear from Sylvia. She always made me feel as if I was the one who was wrong. If I apologized to her, she refused to accept my apology. That angered me in the past, but now I didn’t care. I wasn’t as concerned about her feelings as I was about Lesa finding out about us. I had to keep this a secret, and after our day at the bridal shop, I realized just how devastated Lesa would be if she knew what was transpiring behind her back.
We had a serious conversation that night, and I realized that hurting her would only cause me to hurt myself. We discussed a date for our wedding, but nothing was set in stone yet. Lesa mentioned three months from now; then she said she wanted to wait until next year. That way, all of her fashion shows would be over and she could plan to have the wedding she really wanted. I was down for whatever. The delay gave me more time to get my shit together and do my best to deal with this situation with Sylvia. It was hard to let go, and I kept telling myself that I didn’t need her. I couldn’t even explain why I kept finding myself between her legs. The pussy was good, but damn. I couldn’t let that shit control me, and I had to start making more sense of my life and focus more on my future with Lesa.
In addition to that, Dana was on my mind, too. I hadn’t spoken to her in about six months. I knew how to reach her if I wanted to talk, so I called to find out more about the situation between her and Sylvia. I also wanted to know if she was behind the note on my windshield.
“What is it, Mr. Ex?” she said over the phone. “I should’ve known you’d call.”
Mr. Ex had been my name for the past few years. She pretended to be happy that we parted ways. I wasn’t so sure.
“I had to call. I heard some ugly things about you. I wanted to reach out just in case the individual you put your hands on wants to press charges.”
“Oh, please. Sylvia needs to get over herself. I can’t believe she’s over there whining about a measly, little ol’ slap.”
“So, you did slap her?”
“I’m not telling you a thing. You’re probably defending her, and calling me so I can confess.”
“I wouldn’t set you up like that, but I do question your actions. Why are you still harping on the past? Tell me, and then explain why you left a note on my car.” I was fishing. I figured Dana would tell me if she did.
“Jonathan, if I could, I would reach into this phone and slap some sense into you, too. I am over the past. What the two of you did was dirty, but I’ve moved on. I am happily married to a wonderful, rich man who loves me dearly. I love him too, and I’ll be damned if I allow you or Sylvia to ruin my happiness.”
“That’s fine and dandy, but why did you slap her? That wasn’t necessary, was it?”
“For me, it was. I just happened to see her the other day, and she’s the one who confirmed that she’s still lying on her back for you. She admitted to having no regrets for destroying our marriage, and, for the life of me, I don’t understand why you’ve gotten yourself involved with her again. Lesa seems like a wonderful woman who doesn’t deserve this. Women like her always get hurt, but they also get even. I reminded Sylvia of that, so hopefully she’s paying attention.”
“You said all of that to say what? That you were the one who put the note on my windshield?”
“What freaking note are you talking about? I don’t even know what kind of car you’re driving these days, and quite frankly, Jonathan, I really don’t give a damn. Now, if you don’t mind, I don’t have time to discuss anything else. I’m in the fitting room with this gorgeous dress on, and the mean mug on my face isn’t making my dress look good. Good-bye, Mr. Ex. Don’t call me again unless it’s really, really important. Anything involving Sylvia isn’t.”
Dana hung up on me. I just had to make sure that she wasn’t the one who had written the note, so that only left one other person responsible: Lesa. Was it possible that she knew more than what I thought she knew? Was all this talk about setting a wedding date just for her to find out where my head was? Something was off, and if she had anything to do with the note, it was time for her to come clean.
I waited for Lesa to come home. She didn’t arrive until one in the morning. It never angered me when she came in late, only because I knew what a hard worker she was. I was always able to reach her. We had spoken at least four times tonight. She advised me that she would be home after one. To her surprise, this time breakfast was on me.
She entered the house through the garage. I stood in the kitchen wearing nothing but my skin. Two plates were on the granite-topped island with omelets on them. Our orange juice was spiked with vodka, and a red rose was next to her plate. The kitchen was dim, and a few vanilla-scented candles gave off light.
“Surprise, surprise,” she said after putting her briefcase on the floor. “You’ve been on a roll lately. What did I do to deserve this?”
“I wouldn’t say that I’ve been on a roll, but just so you know, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to please you.”
Lesa smiled. We sealed a lengthy kiss before taking our plates and drinks over to the table.
“I wasn’t sure if you would be hungry, but I figured you hadn’t eaten anything.”
“I’ve been so busy today that I haven’t had a chance to think about food. The next fashion show is in three weeks. I have my work cut out for me. Some of the outfits I made aren’t quite coming together. Whenever you get a chance, I want you to take a look at them and tell me what you think.”
“Let me look at them right now. I’m not sleepy, and all I have is time on my hands for the next few hours.”
“Now is not a good time. If you think I’m going to come in here and ignore what you’ve presented to me and not take advantage of it, you’re crazy.”
I laughed as Lesa pushed the plate aside and stood to remove her dress. We hadn’t attempted to go there again ever since our last unfortunate situation when I couldn’t get it up.
“You’re not going to have any problems tonight, are you?”
&
nbsp; She eased closer to me. I grabbed her waist then pulled her to me.
“I hope not. And from the way things are looking and feeling down there, it doesn’t appear that we will have any problems.”
Lesa reached for my hard meat and began to stroke it, while I took soft bites and pecks against the side of her neck. One of my hands massaged her breasts, and my other hand squeezed her firm, sweet little ass. I was more than ready to dive into what I hadn’t explored since my festivities with Sylvia. I was still hyped when we made our way over to the couch in the den. Things changed, however, after two or three strokes. Lesa’s legs were high on my shoulders and her pussy had just locked on me. The warm, tight feeling aroused me for a minute or two, but my dick slithered out of her fast then deflated.
She felt it right away. Her closed eyes shot open, and disappointment was written on her face again.
“What is wrong with you?” she said through gritted teeth. “Damn it, Jonathan, what is going on?”
I didn’t appreciate her tone. I tried to understand why she was upset, but this was embarrassing for me too. “There is nothing seriously wrong with me. I just can’t stay hard all of a sudden. I’m not giving up, so lie back, take a deep breath, and relax.”
Lesa took a deep breath then lay back. She really didn’t seem into this, and her lack of enthusiasm didn’t help me one bit. It pissed her off when I attempted to force a soft dick inside of her that wasn’t working. Her pussy was dripping wet. There was no secret that I had let her down.
“Forget it, Jonathan,” she said then sighed. “This is a waste of time.”
I ignored her. It wasn’t a waste of time. I wasn’t about to save a wet pussy like this for another day. I did what any man in his right mind would do and used my tongue to perform for me. Lesa thoroughly enjoyed that, and as my tongue traveled deep to tickle her insides, she formed a high arch in her back and screamed.
“Now, that’s what I’m talking about! Do that shit, baby. Go deep and maaaaake meeee commme!”
I gave it all I had. Sucked her until she was dry as the desert. Massaged her breasts until my hands got tired. Kissed her until our lips felt numb. She seemed satisfied. While we were now cuddled in bed, in our bedroom, I asked how satisfied she was.
“I’m okay, Jonathan,” she said while laying her head against my chest. “It’s just that this has never happened before. I don’t know if it’s because you’re at the age where things like that can happen or if something else is going on. If I knew, it would make me feel a whole lot better. I hate to bring this up, but please tell me if there is something going on between you and Sylvia. I was sensing something very wrong, but then again, this relationship between us feels so right.”
Her words caused my whole body to stiffen. I had to pretend as if I didn’t know what direction she was coming from. And sometimes a man had to lie in order to protect his woman’s feelings. “I can assure you that Sylvia has nothing to do with this. Why would you think that she does?”
“Because ever since she’s been back in St. Louis, you’ve been a little different.”
“Different? How? I don’t understand why you feel as if I’m a different man.”
“For one, you used to call me more often, throughout the day, to see how I’m doing. You’ve been going to the office more than usual, and you’re taking a little extra time in the morning to get dressed. You’ve changed your cologne recently, and there are times when I see you in a daze, as if something heavy is on your mind. Not to mention the roses, the gift, and meals you cooked. I’m not saying you don’t do nice things for me, but you’ve been going above and beyond for the past few weeks.”
Women were too damn observant for me. I hadn’t noticed any of this, but it made sense why she would call me out on it.
“Baby, you’re fishing for something that isn’t there. I may have changed up my routine a little, but that’s because I’ve been feeling something different with you too. I think with Sylvia being back in St. Louis, you’re worried about our future. If so, please don’t be. I don’t want you to feel uneasy about anything; that’s why I’ve been going the extra mile to make sure you know how I feel about you. As for my issues with sex, I’m going to the doctor next week. I already set up an appointment so I can find out what’s up.”
“Great,” she said, rubbing her feet against mine underneath the sheets. “I appreciate all that you do, but please know that you don’t have to go the extra mile with material things to show me you care. I can feel what’s in your heart, simply by your actions. Your phones calls, your ‘I love you’s,’ your massages, your kindness, and your ability to make me feel comfortable when we’re together satisfies me. You’ve been a little distant, though. I hope this change in you is nothing I should be worried about.”
Lesa kept pushing. I continued to push back. I even asked her about the letter on my windshield, but I didn’t tell her that it referred to me as a slick bastard.
“I believe someone put it on the wrong car,” I said.
“Maybe so. People are always running around doing stupid stuff. If any woman has issues with her man, it would be wise to speak up and say so. I definitely would. That’s why I need to know if you’ve been intimate with Sylvia.”
Almost immediately, my body got tense again. I wasn’t sure if Lesa felt it, but her ongoing questions made me uneasy. Lord knows I hated to lie, but I just didn’t want to lose her. I felt as if we had built something that could be everlasting. That’s why I proposed to her. This thing with Sylvia was only a minor setback. I intended to deal with it and put closure to it real soon.
“No, I haven’t been intimate with her. We’re not in love with each other anymore.”
“You may not be in love with her, but she is definitely in love with you. I saw it in her eyes. And if you haven’t been intimate with her, have you kissed her?”
“No.”
“Hugged?”
“No.”
Lesa looked up at me, rolling her eyes. “Come on, Jonathan. I know you’ve at least hugged her.”
“Yeah . . . yes, I have, but not like the kind of hugs that I give you.”
To quickly change the subject, I gave Lesa a squeezing hug and kiss that put us in the mood again. My dick shot up but quickly went down. I told Lesa again I would get to the doctor soon. The truth was, I got to Sylvia sooner.
CHAPTER 9
SYLVIA
Jonathan took me back in time. We made love for hours, and as we sat in the tub, washing each other’s backs, I was on cloud nine. My legs were wrapped around him in a tub filled with bubbles. This was just like old times. Jonathan couldn’t deny how I made him feel.
“You sure do know what it takes to please a man,” he admitted. “I thought I was losing my touch for a while, but it takes you to bring out the best in me.”
I squeezed the wet towel on his chest and rubbed it. “Why did you think you were losing your touch? What made you say that?”
He shrugged and hesitated to answer.
“Tell me. What did you mean? Does it have anything to do with the note you found? Have you been getting more of them?”
“Nah, nothing like that. After speaking to Lesa and Dana, I’ve come to the conclusion that the note was for someone else. I was speaking about my sudden inability to perform. When I’m with you, I have no problem. With Lesa, it’s a different story.”
“What?” I wanted to laugh, but obviously this wasn’t a laughing matter. “You’re having sexual issues with your fiancée? How long has this been going on?”
“I hate that you asked, but it’s been going on since we started hooking back up. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I told her I would go to the doctor.”
“Please. You don’t need a doctor. What you need to do is stop lying to yourself. Lesa isn’t the woman for you and you know it. The woman for you is sitting in this tub with her legs wrapped around every inch of you and loving every minute of it. When you get real with yourself, not even a Viagra pill will sa
ve you.”
Jonathan didn’t respond. I knew what time it was, but he was the one who needed to face reality. The sooner, the better. I felt as if he really didn’t want to talk about that subject, so I changed it.
“So, you talked to Dana, huh?” I said.
“Yeah, I called to see what was up with her. What a waste of time that was.”
“I told you. She’s an idiot. Leaving her was the best thing you ever did.”
“I have to agree with that.”
We laughed and continued to wash each other. I wanted Jonathan to spend the night, but I figured that he couldn’t. We said our good-byes, and I watched as he walked down the hallway and pushed the button to open the elevator. He turned to me before getting on it.
“See you next week at work. Pick a day and time for lunch. It’ll be on me. Until then, stay sexy.”
He winked then got on the elevator. I was beaming and didn’t close my door until he was out of sight. Feeling giddy as ever that night, I snuggled with my pillow, knowing that Lesa’s days with my man were numbered.
Crissy was back in the office. She was acting like a real bitch. She got that way sometimes; all I did was stay out of her way. That didn’t always work, simply because she always buzzed me to come into her office so she could tell me what was wrong.
“I am so freaking mad.” She lit a cigarette then took several puffs from it.
“What’s up? And just so you know, this place is a nonsmoking environment.”
“To hell with this place. Ever since my dad died, Jonathan and Brennan have treated me like crap. Yes, I gave up my percentage of my dad’s ownership, but when I changed my mind, I thought that the two of them would understand my passion for wanting to come back here and continue my dad’s work. They act as if I’m incapable of doing anything. I just lost a freaking major client who wanted Jonathan instead of me to represent him.”
“Well, Crissy, you know people are entitled to choose who they prefer to work with. And it’s no big deal if someone wants to work with Jonathan or Brennan, is it? You all get paid a certain percentage regardless, so I don’t see what the big fuss is.”
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