“Yes. To Janice.”
To Janice. He’d said the name before. Lord…
“You’re a pilot?”
“I was. I gave it up. Haven’t flown since.” The muted rush and withdrawal of the waves echoed in his tone. “I couldn’t believe how I felt that day. I knew it was ridiculous, but that didn’t help. I couldn’t deal with it. So, I blamed you.”
“It’s okay. I…it doesn’t matter now.” She fingered her watch. After college. Five years together. Three years ago. He must be just a year or so older than she was. Yet, he seemed older. So, he’d come here—injured—seeking a place to hide. Something stirred in her heart. No, that was wrong. God brought him here to heal, whether he knew it or not.
“John, I thought you’d never attended college. In the truck at McDonald’s that day—”
“I made it sound that way, didn’t I?” He shook his head. “Sorry. Carrying on the charade. Look, there’s something else.”
She flinched. More? Her head ached already. “What?”
He paused, studying her. “No. It can wait.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
She pushed windblown hair from her face. “I don’t want to find out something later that I should know now.”
He tilted his head, his eyes never leaving hers. “It can wait, but if you’re not sure—”
“No, I’m fine. If you say so.”
He caught her hand again and led the way back to the truck. When they settled inside, he rubbed warmth into her arms, his eyes locking into hers now as they hadn’t before. “What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know. Nothing, right now.”
He dropped his hands and pulled out the key. “I should have told you before. Alan told me I should.”
He cranked the truck, and they headed out of the park. The quiet settled again. Her mind raced over what he’d said. She understood now. This she could forgive.
But what about the new problem? The one she’d never foreseen or expected. It sounded like John was still in love with his wife.
Chapter 22
“Dad?” Had she woken him?
“Yes, honey.” His voice came stronger now and with affection. “How are you doing?”
“Did I call too late?”
“Sharee, you can never call too late. We’ve told you that before.”
“I know, but…” Being an only child had benefits. The open door policy—anytime, anywhere—counted as a major one.
“I take it this is not just a hello call.”
He always knew. She threw off the embarrassment of asking advice at her age. She needed Godly counsel.
“That’s a good guess. How’s mom?”
“She’s doing well, but she is in bed. Did you want to talk with her?”
“No, no. I wanted to talk with you.”
He chuckled. “Not having trouble with the car anymore, I hope.”
“No. Actually, I have a new battery.”
“Good.”
“A man put it in for me.”
The slightest pause. “Somebody we know?”
“No.”
“Somebody we’d want to know?”
She inhaled. “Somebody I think I want to know…better.”
The hesitation, this time, was longer. For good reason. Last time had been hard on them, too. “Okay, honey. So, he knows something about cars. Do you want to tell me a little more about him?”
“Yes, I do.”
He listened without interrupting to her abbreviated account of the Christmas program and John and what John had told her today.
When she finished, he said, “I have a few questions.”
Of Course. “What are they?”
“You said he’s angry with God about what happened to his wife?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a pretty normal response, but you were surprised by his marriage? You hadn’t known?”
“No, I didn’t know. He’s never mentioned it, but he’s been pretty much a loner since he came. And he’s in his early thirties, so I guess it shouldn’t be such a surprise.” Her voice trailed off.
“It sounds like you’re afraid you may get hurt.”
Hard to admit. “Yes.”
“Because he hasn’t been open with you? Or because he hasn’t had time to heal?”
“Both. It sounds selfish, doesn’t it?”
“Or cautious. Sharee, he gave you a lot of information today. For a reason. He must care for you.”
The same word John had used. “He says he does.” She hesitated.
“Yes?”
How could she say what she felt? John’s guilt and obvious distress over his wife’s death in her mind translated to a deep love. And, right or wrong, that felt threatening. “He must have loved his wife very much.”
“And that worries you?” Her dad took a long breath. “You can’t be afraid to trust again, to take a chance; but you don’t need to rush things either. This…John…has kept things from you, but we can both see why. You need to let God lead, honey. It’s when we want our way more than his that we get into trouble. Take one step at a time. See what God says. And remember, as much as you don’t want to get hurt, here is a man devastated by a tragedy he cannot understand. Give him some grace.”
The words sunk into her with a feeling of revelation. Give him some grace. All I’ve done is think of myself. Oh, Lord.
After she had put down the phone, she bowed her head in prayer.
Now, as she pulled into the church parking lot, she felt God’s peace. The day’s brightness, the mid-seventies temperature and the weight lifted from her shoulders caused a smile inside. She walked quickly up the sidewalk, her skirt brushing against her legs, her heels tapping the concrete, and glanced at the main entrance.
John stood on the porch, his back to one of the pillars. He’d dressed in black slacks and a dark coffee-colored shirt that matched his hair. No tie. Someone had stopped to shake his hand, and she saw the gentle twist of his mouth. Other members of the congregation stopped also. Some talked and laughed, others just shook his hand.
A jolt went through her. He’d come to church. Her smile widened to a grin. It took courage to come and even more to stand outside while everyone entered.
Their eyes met, and her heart leaped at the warmth that entered his expression. The noise of her heels followed her when she mounted the steps and stopped in front of him. She tilted her head back. His look was deep and searching. After a moment, a smile started at the corner of his mouth, and he took her arm.
“I suppose that you sit down front?”
“Well, you’re right there.”
He groaned. “Not on the first row, I hope.”
She laughed and steered him into the sanctuary, “Not quite.”
Someone greeted him and then someone else. It took a few minutes to get to their seats.
Bruce stopped his wheelchair next to them. “Well, you do like to create a stir, don’t you?”
John grimaced then let his mouth relax. “I suppose they’ve all been praying for me since I came.”
Bruce laughed, “Yep, you’ve been on many prayer lists. With Miss Eleanor praying for you, though,” he nodded toward a thin older woman sitting on the first row, “you didn’t have a chance.”
John returned Bruce’s grin. “Yeah, I assumed she would be a problem. Little old ladies and their prayers are a powerful combination.”
Bruce glanced at Sharee and leaned closer, “Well, to tell you the truth, you had double trouble with Sharee in the mix, too.” He winked at her, turned his wheelchair around and moved off.
“Hey, Mr. J, glad to see ya!” One of the boys from the youth group passed and high-fived him.
Voices quieted while people found their seats. The music group mounted the platform. Sharee caught John’s sideways glance. How did he feel? She put a hand on his arm.
He covered it with his. “Yo
u look nice. I like the dress and the heels.” He leaned his head close to hers. “Makes you almost as tall as a normal person.” The corners of his eyes crinkled.
Sharee scowled. “Just watch it.” She sat up straighter, crossing her legs, trying to look indignant. “You might have to pay for that remark.”
“I got off pretty easy at the deli.”
“A mistake that won’t be repeated. A weak moment on my part.”
His mouth lifted. The music started, and they both stood.
Pastor Alan came through the side door to the platform. His gaze passed over the congregation and jumped back to John. He paused in mid-stride. The choir began to sing. He glanced at Sharee and winked.
“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound…” Sharee closed her eyes and thanked God for all He’d done and sent up a silent prayer for John.
She settled back in her chair after the worship time and felt John’s hand encircle hers.
Pastor Alan stepped to the podium. “My talk today is entitled, ‘Perfect Love Casts Out Fear.’”
Her fear had kept her from telling John the truth about dating. And look at the situation now. She inhaled deeply, let herself feel his hand on hers. If things could just stay this perfect…
I need this kind of love, Lord. Your love. Because at the back of my mind, I wonder if this can last. No other relationship has. Help me to trust you.
She turned her attention back to the pastor.
“Fear of others, of situations, of what people think, all those and more keep us from serving God in the way we should.” Pastor Alan held up his Bible. “But the Word of God tells us that perfect love casts out fear. God wants us to understand and to know what is the breadth, length, depth, and height of His love for us. He loves you with an everlasting love. Think about it.”
John squeezed her hand. “I’m going to leave when he closes in prayer. Come with me.”
After a slight hesitation, she inclined her head. He wanted to leave—or escape—as soon as he could; so the fact that he’d come to church didn’t indicate wholesale surrender to God. She bit her lip.
In a few minutes, when Pastor Alan asked everyone to bow their heads, she slipped out of her seat, alongside John, and walked to the back and out the door to the parking lot.
“What did you think?” Sharee asked.
John lifted a brow. “I’m glad I came, but don’t expect too much, too soon. God and I are still making our way.”
She nodded and lifted a quick prayer to heaven.
He cocked his head. “Alexis is driving back to Atlanta today. She’s picking me up in a few minutes—for lunch. Come with us.”
“I…uh…no, I can’t.”
“Does it have to do with Alexis? Does that still bother you?”
“Of course not.” She bit her lip. It did, somehow.
He pulled on a curl near her cheek. “I’m sorry you didn’t know. But if you were a little jealous…”
“I was not jealous!”
His smile stretched, and she punched his arm.
Ryann and Abbey passed them. Ryann waved. “Great to have you in church, Mr. J.”
More people poured out of the church, filling the sidewalks and parking lot.
“Unexpected pleasure,” Sharee said, sotto voce.
“Was it?” John’s hand caught her arm and drew her close. “Change your mind then. Go with us.”
“I can’t, really. I promised Miss Eleanor that I would have lunch with her. She and Lynn and I have a Bible study afterward.”
“Ah. Competition from an 85-year-old widow is new.”
A black Jaguar pulled up next to them.
“Time to make my escape.” John tugged her over to the car. “Let me introduce you.” The driver’s side window slid down. “Alexis, I want you to meet Sharee Jones, the slave driver who’s created so much work for me and the other volunteers.”
Sharee’s mouth dropped open, and she snatched her arm free.
Alexis laughed. “Just ignore him. His teasing’s over the top sometimes.” She flicked John an amused grin. It showed a remarkable resemblance between the two.
John gave her a rueful smile and moved to the passenger side of the car. He glanced over the top at Sharee. “We should be finished with all the sets this weekend. You can begin planning rehearsals.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll call you.” He slipped into the car. Alexis waved, and they headed for the highway.
She watched the car disappear and wondered if he’d call tonight. Turning, she almost collided with Ted Hogan.
“So, you and John, huh? Who would have guessed?”
The unpleasantness in his voice caused her to take a step back.
“Real shocker seeing him in church. Thought he had a big problem with God. But since you two have something going, maybe that’s not the case?”
Sharee felt her frown. Why did his comments bother her? “I’m not sure that’s your concern, Ted.”
“That’s the exact point I wanted to make. It’s not your concern or his to wonder what Marci and I were doing at the deli.”
She’d forgotten about it. “Do you mean wondering about why you followed her there?”
He stepped closer, lowering his voice. “Marci has enough problems. She doesn’t need you spreading any gossip. You got it?”
“Got what?” She wanted to say that Ted might be Marci’s biggest problem but didn’t. The man was intimidating.
“Don’t spread any rumors. She’s struggled with this pregnancy. She didn’t want this baby. She’s got enough to deal with.”
“What do you mean, didn’t want this pregnancy? She and Stephen are thrilled with Joshua.”
Ted’s face tightened. “Marci didn’t want any more children. She told me that. She feels guilty about what happened.”
“Guilty?”
A group of people filed by them.
“Hey, Sharee, good to see John this morning.” Christy Byrd waved at her.
Sharee waved back.
Ted looked around then leaned toward her. “Just don’t say anything about me and Marci, and I won’t say anything about you and John in the tool building the other night.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw you both go in, and later you came out in his clothes, and he was all over you at the car.”
Sharee’s eyes widened. He’d watched them? For how long? “Where do you—”
He gave a sharp bark of laughter. “You thought no one saw?”
“Your mind’s in the gutter.”
“Maybe it is, but—”
“Hey, girlfriend, what’s up?” Lynn's voice cut across his.
“Nothing.” Ted’s mouth tightened. “Just remember what I said, Sharee.” He walked away.
Lynn jerked her head Ted’s way. “Everything okay?”
Sharee watched until Ted disappeared among the cars. “I’m not quite sure.”
~.~.~
Two days later, she stretched back against her high-back chair at work, tilting her head from side to side and loosening her neck. Only Tuesday, she sighed. Today’s work foreshadowed a long week. Her eyes moved across the desk to the clock. 4:30 P.M. She reached into a candy jar for a soft peppermint. Last night, she’d stayed late to finish; and, judging from the stack of papers on her desk now, it would be the same tonight.
When the phone rang, she groaned. The receptionist had left early for a dental appointment, and the other counselors had clients.
She lifted the receiver. “Downtown Ministries, Sharee speaking.”
“Hey.”
Just the one word, but her heart jumped. “Hey.”
“I’m sure the Lucky Dill has free cheesecake tonight, but you have to order dinner and a drink to get it.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and it took a second to respond. “Really? Are you trying to tempt me with free dessert?”
“Well, if you want two, this time
, I guess I’ll have to pay for it, but you’ll owe me.”
She sat up, biting back the first thing that came to mind. She hesitated.
“Sharee?”
“Y…yes?”
“I’ll pick you up at your place around 7:00?” The words held a trace of uncertainty.
“All…right.” Her voice caught between the words. Stop it. Act your age.
“Your cell phone?”
“Yes?”
“I need the number.”
“Okay.”
He waited a minute then laughed, “I’ve missed you, too.”
“You are so arrogant.” But her voice belied the words.
“Not where you’re concerned.” A slight pause. “Seven o’clock?”
“Yes.”
“Good. See you then.”
She heard the click on the other end and put down the phone. Strong, unexpected emotions washed over her. She jumped to her feet and did a quick dance. He had waited two days to call—two long days. She’d wondered about that last night. But she’d waited. He’d said he would call.
A minute later, she shook herself. He had wanted her phone number, and she’d been so…so spaced that she hadn’t given it to him. No wonder he laughed.
She reached for a stack of papers, her energy renewed. So much for working late. Her mind raced, thinking of things she needed to do when she got home. Bathe, wash her hair, change clothes... What would she wear?
Chapter 23
Whoa. The word popped across his mind when she opened the door. The mass of auburn curls twisted and twirled around her face and dropped onto her shoulders. Her eyes seemed bigger and darker than usual, and the pink t-shirt, highlighted with a touch of lace, hugged her in a way he wouldn’t mind imitating. The faint scent of her fragrance stroked him.
“Hi,” she said.
He cleared his throat and reached out to stretch the curl by her cheek. “Hi. You look… delicious.”
She smiled, but her eyes dropped. Just one compliment disconcerted her.
“You’re ready?”
“Yes. Let me get my purse.”
He watched her walk to the end table, pick up her handbag, and turn his way. Something seemed different tonight, and it took a moment for him to understand it. The tautness that characterized their relationship in the preceding weeks had disappeared. A quick, inward response to that washed through him. Taking her hand, he led the way to the truck and helped her climb into the cab.
Amber Alert: Christian Contemporary Romance with Suspense (Dangerous Series Book 1) Page 18
