The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
—Lao Tzu
In loving memory of my father, Robert.
To the loves of my life:
My sisters, Kourtney, Kimberly, Kendall, and Kylie,
my brother, Robert,
my mother, Kris,
and Caitlyn.
Contents
Introduction
Part 1: BODY
Chapter 1. EXERCISE
How to Lose Ten Pounds in Ten Days—Not!
Alone with My Thoughts
You Can’t Control the Outcome
My Trainer, Gunnar Peterson
How Do You Fix a Broken Heart?
“What Do You Hope to Accomplish?”
Love What You Do, Do What You Love
Set Realistic Goals
Forget the Quick Fix
Routine and Structure
Getting Motivated
Gunnar Peterson
Chapter 2. FOOD
The Cleanse from Hell
Water: The Magic Elixir
Dr. Philip Goglia
Are You Really Truly Hungry?
Clean Food, Healthy Body
The Joy of Cooking
Cooking with Khloé
Part 2: MIND
Chapter 3. GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT
The Queen of Denial
You Need a Reason to Get Out of Bed
Work: The Great Escape
Khlo-$ (“Khlo Money”)
Wired to Be Good
Good Values and Good Habits Can Be Learned
Getting Organized
Chapter 4. MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING
“No Whining” Zone
Bench Presses for Your Mind
Friendship
It’s All About You
Negative Energy
Let It Go
Getting Through the Bad Days
The Art of Journaling
Facing the Pain
Life Is About Second Chances
Vulnerability Is Not a Sign of Weakness
The Art of Romance
Brad Johnson
Nothing Lasts Forever
Part 3: HEART
Chapter 5. BE MINDFUL
The Problem Is You
The Power of Kindness
Compassion
Caitlyn Breaks Her Silence
Life Is Not a Competition
Think Before You Act
The Art of Prayer
The Future
Photographs
Acknowledgments
Image Credits
About the Author
Introduction
Most of my adult life has played out in the public eye. Being on Keeping Up With the Kardashians has meant that every significant event in my life has been documented and every insignificant incident has been captured, too. It also means that everything, big and small, has been commented on and speculated about. People gossip about my life over drinks with friends, in office cubicles, on radio shows, and of course in the tabloids, and there are few things tabloids love to talk about more than relationships (especially the end of a relationship) and weight. I can’t even count the number of magazine covers that have commented on every change in my body. They write about me when I gain weight and when I lose weight. They come up with crazy explanations for all the changes in my body—from Khloé must be pregnant to Khloé isn’t really a Kardashian.
There are times when living under a microscope can be challenging, but the upside is immense. I have met thousands of inspiring and amazing people along the way, and the connection I feel with them is a great joy in my life. I’ve also come to realize that, whether I think of myself as a role model or not, there are a lot of young women (and a few men, too) who look up to me. I don’t take their admiration lightly; it comes with a real responsibility. That is one of the many reasons I wanted to write Strong Looks Better Naked.
Even though I’ve chosen to live much of my life in a fishbowl, I’m a very private person, and while my path to losing weight has received a lot of attention, the emphasis has always been on my body, on what I look like, on how fat or thin I am. But the transformation I have undergone over the last three years is much deeper than shedding a few pounds.
It began when I was going through a particularly hard time in my life—you can read about it on the very first page of the very first chapter. Physically and emotionally I was at a really low point and I needed an outlet. The outlet I discovered was exercise.
At first I focused on my physical body to distract myself from thinking about the things that were causing me real pain. But as my body got stronger, there was an unexpected side effect: My mind became clearer.
• • •
Body, mind, soul. That phrase is everywhere; I hear it all the time, but until recently I had never given it much thought. Body. Mind. Soul. What does that even mean, anyway? And how many of us actually get beyond body?
Ever since I was a little girl, when I first started becoming aware of the world around me, I couldn’t help but notice that we judge each other on our looks. That old first-impressions stuff: tall, cute, thin, gangly, chubby, gorgeous, etc.
Later, as we get to know a person, other components come into play. Personality, for example. Grumpy, moody, happy, open, hard to read, etc. And then you dig a little deeper: considerate, thoughtful, selfish, passionate, cold, committed, etc., which further affects the way you see that person. That’s why an ordinary-looking woman can appear stunningly beautiful, because you’ve gotten to know her, and she’s beautiful on the inside. Or conversely, it’s why that gorgeous friend looks ugly after you’ve discovered what she’s really like at her core. That’s soul. That’s what I talk about when I talk about heart: The essence of a person, her truest self.
But the physical part, the body, that’s where it all starts. And the way you feel about your body, the way that, ultimately, you treat your body, is going to have a huge effect on your mind and your spirit, or as I think about it, your heart.
I began to exercise as an escape, not to change my body, and then my body changed and I can’t seem to stop exercising. It is a habit, a very good habit, that keeps me healthy and happy. I found that once I started working hard to improve one element of myself, the quality of my entire life improved dramatically. Not only did I feel more fit and more beautiful, I was also calmer, kinder, more focused and thoughtful, and above all happier.
When I started exercising religiously, I began to talk to friends about it, looking for converts, trying to get them excited about exercise. Most of them wouldn’t budge: I hate exercise. It’s too hard. I can’t change. I’m big-boned. It hurts too much. I’ll always have fat thighs.
In short, they were defeated by their own thinking. That’s the mind part. They didn’t believe. So they never gave themselves a chance to effect real changes in their lives.
Most of my friends weren’t into self-sabotage. The saboteur was the little kid inside them. You know what I’m talking about, that inner child—the small you, the one that refuses to grow up, the one that refuses to take responsibility for anything.
But you can fix that. One thing I’ve learned from watching my sisters raise their children is that kids need boundaries. They need structure. They need discipline. Without these, they are lost. That’s true for all of us.
So when that little voice in your head says, No, I am not going to the damn gym! or Why not have a few more cookies? you must be firm. Don’t cave. You’re the boss.
And instead of looking for perfection in yourself, look for improvement. Even a tiny forward step is a step in the right direction, no matter how small.
Over the last three years, I’ve transformed my
body, my mind, and my heart. I’ve never been stronger or happier or more grounded. I hope this book inspires you to build your own form of personal strength. One baby step at a time! That is my philosophy: Small changes and small steps can transform your life.
At the end of the day, it’s really quite simple.
Baby steps.
You want to be strong. You have to believe in yourself. True strength comes from looking at yourself with fresh eyes, from having faith, from becoming your own cheerleader. Finding your inner strength is a journey. Nobody else can do it for you.
You want to be healthy. You want to be happy. Be mindful—about the way you approach life, and about the things you can do to change your approach to life.
It is not that difficult. I promise. If you begin with just thirty minutes of exercise a day, the rest of it—mind, heart, spirit—will begin to change.
By now, science has pretty much confirmed that exercise creates powerful changes in our brain. But why rely on science? Find out for yourself.
You deserve an amazing life.
That life is a lot closer than you think.
—Khloé Kardashian
Los Angeles, California
August 16, 2015
Part 1
* * *
BODY
Chapter 1
Exercise
When my life was at one of its darkest hours, everything changed—for the better.
At the time, I had been married to Lamar Odom for almost three years, and he’d been through such a challenging summer that he was thinking about taking a break from his pro basketball career. Instead, he powered through and committed himself to the Mavericks, and we found ourselves living in a two-bedroom apartment at the W hotel in downtown Dallas.
We were very happy. I mean, Lamar and I had such a strong connection that we were married exactly thirty days after we met. We loved the idea of being husband and wife, and most of the marriage was really great.
Being in Dallas was challenging because I missed my family back in L.A. One day I decided that I needed to get out of the apartment and do something. That’s when I came up with the idea of going to the gym.
I’ve never been the type of person who deals with her tough moments by sleeping or watching TV in the middle of the day. My brain doesn’t work that way—I’m not that easily distracted—and I have a tendency to obsess and drive myself crazy over even the tiniest problem. So for me the solution is to keep really busy, to find a way not to obsess, and I usually do that by visiting with friends, going to see family or going to dinner or a show—anything that will occupy me. And really, how do people fill the hours in their day? They take care of their kids or hang out with family or go shopping. But in Dallas, I had none of those escape routes. I was completely isolated. And one morning I remember thinking, Hey, I’m here at the W, in this nice apartment, and I don’t know a single person I can invite to lunch. But there’s a gym off the lobby. All I had to do was get on the elevator, zip down five floors, and I’d be there. I knew they’d have TVs in the gym. I’m not good at just watching TV, but if I can do cardio and watch TV at the same time—that’s a winning combo.
I felt alone with my thoughts and without direction, and it wasn’t a good feeling. But once I got into my sweats and walked into the gym, I felt like I was a million miles away from my problems. And I realized that even though I was alone at the gym, I wasn’t lonely. I didn’t care that I was by myself. You’re almost always by yourself in the gym. That’s the point, right? To work on your self, your physical self. I was doing something constructive. And that felt pretty good.
The gym was clean and very luxurious, and there were only three or four people there. I got on an elliptical and turned on the TV and suddenly I was transported to another place, away from myself and my brooding thoughts. As soon as my heart started pumping, I was in a really good place.
That’s how I began to deal with my own isolation—by visiting the hotel gym every day, sometimes twice a day. At first I was just going through the motions; I was lonely in our apartment, and I was motivated to get out. As the days turned into weeks, however, I began to look forward to the workouts. I loved sweating. I loved the feeling of accomplishment when it was over. And later, lying in bed, I loved the way my muscles ached. Exercising made me feel alive.
Beyond that, it energized me. After a good workout, I feel so full of adrenaline that I’m ready to do fifteen things at once, and I often have to slow myself down and get a grip. It’s crazy—like I’m on speed or something—but crazy in a good way. The idea that an hour of exercise can have such a profound effect on my mood and on my energy levels is what keeps me going back for more. I mean, think about it: Exercise gets me high!
Of course, once you come back to earth, you still have to deal with daily life, and my life was far from perfect. This was the first time I had been away from my family, and it wasn’t easy, but I made the most of our time together.
Christmastime away from my loved ones was especially hard. I missed those noisy Christmases in Los Angeles, surrounded by my loud, happy family, with wild children underfoot and good food and laughter and that wonderful sense of belonging.
I made the best of it, though. I got permission from the hotel manager to put a Christmas tree in our suite, and we decorated it together and that ritual made it feel like a real home. But it wasn’t the same as being at home, of course. Every Christmas Eve my mom throws a huge party, and this was the first time in my life I was going to miss it. And that was hard, because the Kardashian Christmas Eve party was a family tradition that went back to before I was even born. Every year, in early October I’d begin to look forward to the party—who we’d invite, what we’d make, what I’d wear. Talking to my mom on the phone in the days before Christmas made it that much harder, but I realized I needed to be strong and make the most of my time with Lamar, and I knew there were plenty of other Christmases ahead of us.
Another tradition was for the entire family to wear matching pajamas and have our picture taken, and I was sad about missing that, too. But my mom sent us matching pajamas, the same ones she gave everyone else, and Lamar and I took our own picture in Dallas and shared it with the family.
When we went to bed that night, I pretended I was going to be waking up with my family, and when I got up, first thing, I called them. And you know what? It was fun. I was happy to be there with Lamar in our matching pajamas.
Still, it was a big emotional challenge—being away from my family for Christmas for the first time—and Lamar kept apologizing, but I told him not to worry, that we were a family now, and that everything was going to work out. Lamar missed them, too, though. When we were first married, my family welcomed him with open arms, and he never stopped expressing his gratitude. “Your family was one of the reasons I knew I wanted to marry you,” he told me. “I love your family.” Lamar is an only child, and his mother passed away when he was very young. Being so warmly embraced by us meant the world to him, and being away was hard for us both.
We couldn’t even spend the day in bed together! The NBA lockout had been going on since July and the season actually began on Christmas Day.
We’d had a difficult couple months. Lamar and I had just dealt with a death in our family, then he was traded from the Lakers to the Mavericks very unexpectedly, which broke his heart yet again in such a short time span. By nature, I’m a people pleaser and it is draining both physically and mentally to please someone who is emotionally destroyed. There was a lot on my shoulders—five months in this isolated situation, doing battle with my own emotions but trying to be strong for us.
That’s when the gym became a lifeline. It didn’t make the pain go away, of course, but it made it more bearable. It made me realize that I was exercising more than muscles, and that the small but noticeable physical transformations that I was seeing were creating emotional transformations, too.
Being physical was in my blood, and exercising regularly made me think back to my c
hildhood. I was always an active person. As a kid, I was into sports: soccer when I was really young, and basketball and volleyball in middle school and beyond. I liked basketball and volleyball best because I was tall and I was usually an asset to the team.
But I was always a little overweight, too. Whenever I was stressed or struggling with emotional issues, no matter how insignificant, I would turn to food.
When my parents got a divorce, for example, I would eat all the time. Our mother was constantly cooking for us, because that’s what mothers do; they nurture their kids. Then Dad would swing by and pick us up and take us to McDonald’s, because that’s what fathers do. I guess this created a strange link between stress and food, which seems to be the case for many, many people, and as a result I would often turn to food for comfort.
Back in those days, people weren’t as conscious about what they put into their bodies, so my parents didn’t pay much attention, but that has certainly changed. Now, for example, my sister Kourtney doesn’t let her children eat gluten, and she keeps them away from dairy, but twenty years ago, nobody ever gave much thought to either gluten or dairy.
On the other hand, both of my parents encouraged me to do sports, which might have been their way of keeping my weight from getting out of hand.
In addition, there was also the small issue of genetics. When I was very young—a preteen—I came to terms with the fact that I was always going to be curvy and bigger than most of the girls around me. I remember thinking, This is who I am, a big-boned girl, and this is what my body’s always going to be like.
Once I hit puberty, though, I had a growth spurt, and I guess it made a big difference. I remember my mom’s friends oohing and aahing over the change. “Oh my gosh, Khloé! You are so skinny!” I don’t think they meant skinny skinny; I think they were basically noticing the change. And as they kept pointing out how good I looked, it made me wonder how I had looked before. Honestly, I had never thought of myself as chubby, and I certainly never thought about my weight. And this whole issue of food awareness is actually very new to me, something I’ve paid attention to only in the past couple of years.
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