Tears fill my eyes as I stare up at him, but I don't try to pull back. I place my hands on his thighs for support, but I don't push him away. I want him to use me, as wrong as that might be.
He growls my name loudly as he comes down my throat, and I swallow every drop of his release. His muscular thighs shudder under my touch, and his chest rises and falls rapidly with gasping, jagged breaths.
I'm in awe at the sight before me. I just brought the most powerful man I've ever met to his knees with pleasure.
When his breathing finally calms down, he releases the grip on my hair and stares down at me. "Get on the bed," he orders.
My cocky façade slowly crumbles away as I stand and slowly back away from him. Even though I've just done that for him, my mind is racing with what's right and what's wrong. I feel like I'm in a different world, not knowing which way is up as my knees hit the back of the mattress and my back hits the cool sheets.
My body trembles as I watch him step out of his pants and boxer briefs and remove his expensive shoes and socks. He stalks over to me; and, without hesitation, rips my pants down my legs. He stares at the lacy blue thong, and his tongue darts out to lick his full bottom lip. Gently, his fingers hook into the lace material, and he pulls them down to rid me of them also.
Feeling exposed, I crush my thighs together, but he frowns in disapproval at me. "I want to see you, Adeline," he says seductively.
Slowly, I open my legs, spreading wide for him. My breathing increases as he lies down on the bed between my legs.
"Beautiful," he breathes. The moment his finger touches my slit, I jump in surprise. "Relax," he says with a light chuckle. His dark eyes snap to mine as he says, "I want to taste you, Adeline, but I've never…I don't know if I…" His voice trails off, and he suddenly looks shy and unsure.
"It's okay, Luc," I tell him, using his nickname for the first time. That seems to get his attention, and his eyes return to mine. "I'm new to all of this too."
With a subtle nod, he returns his attention to my pussy. I watch as his tongue darts out of his mouth, and he licks the length of my already soaking wet slit. My hands fist in the sheets at my sides. Oh, god. Just one single lick, and I feel like I'm jetting off to the moon.
He licks me again and again and again until I'm biting my lip to stifle my cries. A hard slap to my inner thigh makes me gasp and wrenches a cry from my throat.
"Don't hold back, Adeline. I want to hear you fucking scream," he demands with a growl.
His fingers gently part my lips, and he begins to lick my clit. It feels like electricity going through my body, and I can't help the low, loud groan that rips from my throat.
"Yes, that's it," he whispers against me.
He devours me like a man that's starving, and I shamelessly buck against his face, wanting more and more. He licks and bites and sucks until I'm a writhing mess under him. His big, strong hands grasp my thighs, holding me down and not allowing me to escape even an ounce of pleasure coming from his mouth, and all I can do is tremble and cry out as I enjoy the ride.
Lucien pushes a finger inside of me then, and I gasp at the intrusion. He works his thick finger inside of me for a few seconds before adding another finger, pumping them both in and out of me and bringing me to the precipice faster and faster.
Then, his fingers curl inside of me, and my back suddenly bows off the bed. Whatever he's doing to me, it's driving me crazy. The sensation is so overwhelming that I begin to try to pull away from him. "Please, no," I beg. "I can't."
With his free hand, he grips my thigh tightly so that I can't move away and continues his assault. "It's okay. It's okay, baby," he says soothingly.
I'm stunned by the term of endearment he used, and the line between unwilling captive and willing paramour blur drastically. Eventually, I stop fighting him and allow the pleasure to take over me.
His tongue assaults my swollen little button as his fingers work my inner walls, and it's too much. I fall over the edge of the cliff, crying out in pleasure as my body is wracked with a soul-obliterating orgasm. I can feel the wetness seeping from me, and he groans in approval. Wave after wave crashes over me, and I can't stop myself from crying out his name.
He growls possessively against my skin, consuming me as the torturous pleasure goes on and on until I'm completely wrung out. Exhausted, I collapse against the soft sheets, breathing heavily, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest.
He gives me one last lick, which causes a tremor to rock through my entire body. And then I feel all of his warmth leave me as he climbs off the bed.
I press my palm to my erratic heartbeat, feeling it begin to slow as I gradually come back to earth. The rustling of clothes grabs my attention, and I sit up to see him getting dressed. He has a guarded, stony look on his face just like after the first time we had sex, and it tears me apart.
It's déjà vu all over again when I see the same emotions written on his face --- loathing and regret.
Tears gather in my eyes as I quickly grab the sheet to cover myself. He was in the moment both times when we were succumbing to our desires. But as soon as the moment's over, it's as if a switch goes off inside of him and he becomes distant and detached.
I hate it. I hate how quickly he can dismiss me as if I'm nothing but a toy to be played with and then put away when he's done manipulating me.
Lucien gives me one last, long glance before he leaves.
Shocked, I sit there for a while replaying what just happened over and over again in my mind. He left without saying a word, making me feel like some kind of cheap whore. Thinking about myself down on my knees earlier…that's exactly what I was.
I was so deprived of attention and affection that I just whored myself out to the man who's keeping me captive without considering the consequences.
Feeling used and utterly broken inside, I sink under the expensive sheets and plush comforter and cry until I'm numb.
CHAPTER 25
LUCIEN
I LEAVE ADELINE'S room in a hurry and run right into a hard chest. Jax. The fucking voyeur was listening…once again. Hell, maybe he was even watching, for all I know.
"Fuck, Luc. I'm beginning to think you need to start giving me some pointers," he says with a shit-eating grin.
I glare at him, instantly regretting giving him the code to my office where I know he can access the camera feeds. His perversion of watching other people have sex is becoming a nuisance. I'm furious that he once again listened to Adeline crying out my name.
Mine.
He's already had Adeline in his bed. I know nothing happened between them, but I can't help but wonder if Adeline finds him attractive. What if she wants Jax more than me? Fuck, just the thought of it drives me insane. I don't want to share her in any way with anyone.
"Fuck you, Jackson," I hiss, seething, as I push past him and go straight to my room.
I slam the bathroom door shut and pace the floor with my hands clenched into fists at my sides and my brain running a mile a minute.
Scowling, I turn on the hot water and step under the spray. Usually my shower is a refuge, but right now I can't escape here or anywhere, for that matter. That girl. That girl has crawled under my skin and become a new obsession for me. My OCD has taken a backseat, and she has slithered her way to the forefront of my mind. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop wanting her. And even when I have her, it's not enough.
And my biggest fear is that I'll never be able to get enough of her.
I can't keep her. I know that. She has a life and a family to return to. When I think about her returning to that scumbag fiancé, though, my hackles rise and I want to punch someone in the fucking face. He sold her to me. I could have raped her and strangled her…even murdered her. He has no idea who I am, what I'm capable of. And yet, he allowed her to come to me without a care in the world.
What if I would have been someone else? I'm not saying I'm a saint, by any means, but I'm not a ruthless sadist. Would he have sold her to ano
ther? Will he sell her to another when she returns to him?
The thought of anyone else touching her drives me insane. I scrub my skin raw and growl out in frustration. I've put myself in a vulnerable situation where I feel like I've lost total control, and I fucking hate it.
I'm always in control. Always. And I haven't experienced this helpless feeling of loss of power in a long time. In my adulthood, I've always taken what I've wanted. I never took an unwilling woman, but I commanded her, possessed her, drove my cock into her relentlessly until she begged for more.
That experience with Adeline just minutes ago made me feel helpless…but also so damn good. Her mouth on my cock… Fuck, I'm getting hard again just thinking about it. She is so innocent and unsure of herself that it turns me the fuck on. I want to be her first for everything, and that scares the living shit out of me.
I've never wanted anyone as much as I want her.
After I finish my shower, I go through my usual routine a little more quickly and sloppier than usual. I have a desperate need to get to my office and check on Adeline. She's like a drug to me, and I need a fucking hit.
I dress in a simple long-sleeved shirt, boxer briefs and cotton pajama pants before leaving my room in a hurry. I force myself not to run to my office, but I get there in record time.
Needing to see her again, I bring my computer back to life and click on the camera monitors strategically placed in her room. The sight on the screen has me creasing my brows in confusion. I hit the volume key a few times to bring up the sound. And that's when I hear it.
Adeline is…crying.
Her body wracks with sobs under a mountain of bedding, and I can almost feel her heartache seeping into my bones. I slide my chair back and rest my elbows on my knees and my chin in my hands. I don't understand why she's so upset. The only thing I can think of that I might have done wrong is leaving without telling her goodbye. Or perhaps me leaving period is what I did wrong.
All this shit is new to me, and I couldn't possibly make her understand all of my hang-ups.
I've never slept beside a woman. I've never cared enough to stay for more than a few moments after. None of the other girls ever cared. They were more than happy to get their money and be on their merry way to their brighter and definitely more luxurious future.
But I told myself from the very beginning that Adeline isn't like all the others. She's different, a unique diamond in the rough.
I lift my gaze and watch her with rapt concern as she continues to cry, and I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. The notion that I could be worried about someone else's feelings is alarming, to say the least. I've been such a cold-hearted bastard for so long that I didn't think the black hole where my heart used to belong could ever begin to beat again…especially not for a woman, and most certainly not one that I purchased.
CHAPTER 26
LUCIEN
"MARIA SAID THAT Adeline's refusing to eat," Jax tells me over breakfast one morning.
The eggs I've been chewing suddenly taste like wet cement, and I take a big swig of freshly squeezed orange juice to wash the lump down my throat.
It's been a few days since I last went to Adeline's room. I had gone there to apologize for hitting her with my belt, an act so unspeakable considering my dark past; but instead, she surprised me by saying she was sorry before I could even get up the courage to do it.
Then, the unthinkable happened…she dropped to her knees and gave me the most amazing, and my first ever, blow job. I reciprocated the favor, licking her pussy until she gushed her sweet cream all over my face. Also a first for me.
I still can't believe what happened between us. It was like an out of body experience, pleasuring her in a way I've never done before and never thought I'd be capable of doing.
I've only ever wanted a woman once. After I've taken her virginity, she suddenly became spoiled and unwanted in my eyes. But not with Adeline. It's like I just fucking can't get enough of her.
When I'm with her, I feel…normal. I feel like I can be who I long to be, not who I've become.
But as soon as the moment we'd shared was over, I could feel the sick part of my brain taking over. Counting the seconds until I could get in the shower and wash her scent and fluids off of me. The nauseating feeling creeped up my spine until I almost gagged right in front of her.
The silence in my head that I feel when I'm around her is only short-lived. My brain only shuts off for a short period of time until it reboots itself, bringing all of my fears and obsessions back with a vengeance.
I have spent the better part of the past three days in the shower, ridding myself of her taste and her touch, rubbing my skin raw and bloody under scalding hot water.
But in all actuality, I didn't even want to get rid of her scent. I wanted to let it consume me.
If only I could control my thoughts and actions…if only I had a choice…
Jackson snaps his fingers in front of my face, snapping me back to reality. "Did you hear what I said? She's miserable and starving herself."
I give him a small nod. I know she's not been eating. And I know she cries almost every second of every day.
That's because I watch her. Constantly. I'm obsessed with everything about this girl.
I thought I could ignore her and my feelings towards her, but it feels like I'm going through withdrawal from the most powerful and purest drug in the world. Adeline is a cure for a lot of my neuroses, but I'm quickly coming to realize that there is no cure for her.
However, I can't seem to bring myself to go back to her room, to apologize and to make things right.
I know why she's upset. Because I'm a total fucking asshole. I took what I wanted from her…twice…and left her right after, probably making her feel less than a worthless whore.
"I need to apologize to her," I tell Jax. "But I…can't."
"You can't, or you don't know how?" he asks with a knowing smile.
He always was good at reading me. "I tried," I start, but then pause. "Things didn't…end so well between us last time."
He cocks his head to the side as he regards me. "It sounded like things ended well between you two," he says with a chuckle.
"Fucking voyeur," I mutter under my breath, gritting my teeth at his words. "I mean, I left her right after, and she was upset about that." I can only imagine the expression on my face as the wicked thoughts in my head were running rampant. She probably thinks I hate her or don't care about her at all.
But that couldn't be further from the truth…no matter how much I want to deny it and lie to myself.
"Well, locking her in a room twenty-four seven is probably driving the poor girl mad."
I shake my head at him. "I can't just…let her go." I don't even want to dwell on the overwhelming feeling in my chest when I think about her leaving this island…leaving me.
"Then give her something to do…maybe a little bit more freedom, something better than staring at four walls every day." Jax picks at the eggs on his plate and nonchalantly says, "She loves books."
My interest perks up. "She told you that?"
"Yeah," he murmurs around a mouthful of food.
I turn away from him, feeling repulsed. He knows that shit drives me crazy. Just the sound of his lips smacking together and the grinding of his teeth as he chews almost sends me into a tailspin.
Closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose to ward off the dizziness, I ask him, "What kind of books? What are her favorite authors? What kind of genres does she like?" The questions come tumbling out of my mouth in quick succession.
Jax thankfully swallows before he answers me. "She didn't say. She just told me she loves to read and play piano."
I think about the white baby grand sitting in the library. Currently, the shelves are only one-third stocked in the great two-story room. But I could order more.
I could order a hell of a lot more.
Suddenly, I push away from the table and walk out of the room.
"Where you
goin'?" Jax calls after me.
"Starting on my apology," I respond before making my way to my office.
* * * * * * *
HOURS AFTER BREAKFAST with Jax, my fingers grip the pen tightly as I scrawl down every book I can think of. I've filled out almost a hundred post-it notes, and I force myself to stop. Moving my cramped hand to the mouse, I begin to click and order, click and order and click and order until I've spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on a shipment of solely books.
I realize I'm trying to appease Adeline, trying to make her comfortable here…even though she doesn't want to stay. A part of me likes to think that she would stay on her own; but I think given the opportunity, she would run at first chance.
And I won't let that happen.
I can't let her go back to a fiancé who would rather sell her than wed her. Back to her father, who would rather keep her under lock and key than give her an ounce of freedom. Back to a life that's infested with so much darkness that it will surely smother her light. Back to a world…without me to protect her.
Shaking my head, I finish up ordering, paying extra for expedited shipping and setting up all the details with my trusted man on the mainland who will fly the shipment in tomorrow morning.
And then I set to work on creating something that will allow Adeline more freedom…even if the thought of her being free scares the living shit out of me.
CHAPTER 27
ADELINE
I'VE ALWAYS TRIED to be a silver lining kind of girl, even when my life seemed rather dull and meaningless. Even when my father kept me locked away in an ivory tower, leaving me with only two options --- isolation and reading. I read to keep myself occupied, but I also read to escape. Books allowed me to leave my prison and venture into new worlds, discover new places and make new friends.
Being the youngest of seven girls, my father wanted to protect and shelter me from everything. When you live in a mafia world, someone is always trying to take what's yours. My sisters were easy targets, and they suffered profoundly for my father's life of crime and power.
Keeping Her: A Dark Romance (Keep Me Series Book 1) Page 15
