by A. Zavarelli
I shook when he bottomed out inside of me, taking me to the brink of destruction once more.
“Please,” I rasped. “Please, just let me…”
“A name.” He captured my lip between his teeth. “I need a name. Then you can come as many times as you like.”
He kissed his way down to my nipple and flicked it with his tongue. My eyes rolled back as I melted into the bed.
“Ryland!” I screamed. “Ryland Bennett.”
He grunted and slammed into me so hard I thought I might break. His teeth sank into my neck, causing a cataclysm of pain and release. It was cathartic. Poetic. Beautiful. The demon inside of me smiled in satisfaction when my scream echoed off the walls.
I’d barely finished when he let loose a vicious string of curses, his cock pulsing wildly as he emptied himself inside of me.
He collapsed on top of me, his legs still tangled in mine, his breath ragged. I expected him to say something once his breathing had calmed, but he didn’t.
Not a word about my mortifying confession, or anything else. I wondered if he was angry. Would he hurt Ryland? The thought crossed my mind. I had no idea what his motives were. It was one thing to mess with me, but if he involved innocent people, I wouldn’t be able to cope.
“What are you going to do?” I whispered.
“What do you mean?” his voice was soft. Relaxed. And he was still inside me.
“About what I told you,” I said. “You won’t… do anything to him, right?”
“Would you care if I did?”
“Of course I would.” I quivered. “You can’t drag other people into this. That wasn’t part of the agreement…”
“I know.” He toyed with my lip. “I’m not going to do anything, Brighton. There are very few things I don’t know about you. That was one of them.”
“Oh.”
I really didn’t know what to say to that. What we were doing was already so intimate. And yet he wanted to get into my psyche, uncover my darkest secrets. But why? It was unfair. I didn’t know anything about him at all.
He went to move away, and I pulled him back, gripping his forearm.
“Please…” I whispered.
“Please what?” his voice was colder now. More distant. But I wasn’t going to let it scare me. I wouldn’t let him win this game. I needed to figure out who he was, by any means possible.
“I don’t even know what you look like,” I said.
“You didn’t want to,” he retorted. “That’s the thing about actions and words. Once they are said and done, they can’t be taken back.”
“Just let me… touch you,” I pleaded. “Let me see you in the only way that I can.”
There was such a long pause, I wondered if I’d made a mistake by requesting such a thing. But then he rolled over, taking me with him. When he relaxed, I was straddling him, and my palms were flat against his shoulders.
“By all means,” he bit out, “touch me, Brighton. But don’t think you’re fooling me for a second.”
I swallowed the strange lump that had formed in my throat and started with his hands. They were much bigger than mine, and I had the sudden realization of how much he could hurt me with those hands if he ever wanted to.
I tried not to think about it as I felt my way down his forearms and up his biceps. Right away, I concluded these were the arms of a working man. Either that or someone who spent a lot of time in the gym. He was warm and hard everywhere I touched, even in his relaxed state. But that changed when my hands glided over his chest. It wasn’t just muscle there, it was something else too. I ran my fingers over the jagged skin several times before I understood they were scars. And when I touched them, his entire body stiffened.
“What happened to you?” I asked.
“That’s enough.” He slid out from beneath me and pulled away.
I landed in an unceremonious heap on the bed, expecting him to leave. There was a familiar shuffling as he dressed himself. And when he clasped his belt buckle back into place, it had the strangest effect inside of my belly. Warmth.
That warmth was swiftly carried away when he wrapped something rough around my wrist.
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
He didn’t respond. He simply pulled whatever it was taut before walking to the other side of the bed, repeating the action on my other wrist. By the time he was through, both my arms were strung high above my head. I couldn’t move them at all when he stepped away, and my skin prickled with sweat.
“Do you remember when I asked you earlier if you were ready to be redeemed?”
“Yes.” I gulped.
“Well guess what, Brighton?” he snarled. “There isn’t anything you could ever do to be redeemable in my eyes.”
It was the last thing he said before he walked out of the room.
Chapter Nine
I woke with puffy eyes and a splitting headache.
Every inch of my body groaned in protest when I tried to move. My arms were so weak I thought they were numb. That could be the only reason I didn’t feel the awful pain in my shoulders and wrists.
All night I had struggled to get free. My wrists were chafed and probably bloody from the rope he used to tie me. I was humiliated and terrified. I was certain he was going to leave me for the hotel staff to find in the morning.
But when I moved my arm again and nothing protested, I sat up slowly. The blindfold was still on, and I tore it off, shielding my eyes from the sudden brightness of the room. The clothes I’d worn to the hotel weren’t there, but on the table across the room sat some shopping bags and a silver tray.
I limped across the carpet, feeling the discomfort in every step. I’d never been so sore.
When I reached the table, I found a note.
Brighton,
You looked too beautiful to wake this morning, but I would like another photo today.
Oh, and don’t make any plans for next weekend. You’ll be spending it all with me.
The paper fluttered from my fingers as I collapsed into the chair with a groan. I could barely walk after one night with him, and now he wanted an entire weekend. And how could he call me beautiful when he’d just left me tied to the bed last night after his cruel parting words? I didn’t understand it at all.
If he thought he was getting another photo of his marks on me, he was crazy.
I lifted the silver lid and found an assortment of cold breakfast foods. Fruit, granola, and a yogurt adorned the tray, and my stomach growled in response. I hadn’t eaten dinner last night.
I ate it all, more ravenous than I’d ever been. The whole time I was chewing, my eyes kept darting to the shopping bags. They had the name Barneys imprinted on the side, and my fingers were itching to see what was inside of them.
But they shouldn’t have been. Was he buying me clothes now?
I snorted at the thought. It was probably something much more sinister, disguised in a nice package. I laid my curiosity to rest as I dumped all the contents onto the table.
Dresses. Lingerie. Shoes.
It was all there. And it must have cost a fortune. I was disgusted, and yet the little girl inside of me who had always loved fashion wanted to be excited. When I checked the soles of the shoes, they were red.
Red.
It could only mean one thing. I was going color blind.
How could he spend this much money on me when he insisted I was just something to be used? Unredeemable, as he said last night. Did he actually… feel sorry?
No. Absolutely not. I wasn’t going to make excuses for him or his erratic behavior. There was only one person who could answer those questions, and that was a trained psychologist.
As for me, I just had to get through the rest of this game. Five months and three more weeks.
I sighed as I walked to the bathroom to take a shower. At least I would be blackmailed in red bottomed shoes. That obviously made all the difference.
***
I sent him a picture.
I
wasn’t proud of it, but after seeing how much he’d spent on me, the guilt ate away at me. It always did whenever someone did anything remotely nice. I didn’t like to depend on anyone or feel like I owed them. It was the one rule my mother had drilled into our heads. I would never forget the time I borrowed a cup of sugar from the neighbor and the ass beating that ensued from it.
Norma-Jean spat her stale cigarette breath in my face when she told me I was never to borrow anything from anyone. Either I could afford it on my own, or I didn’t have it at all. The irony wasn’t lost on me that she never made rent and relied on Brayden to keep a roof over our heads. But in the mind of Norma-Jean, that was perfectly acceptable.
Needless to say, I’d heeded her rule from there on out. I looked at things but never bought them. I worked but never allowed myself luxuries. Every penny went to necessities, and the rest went into my savings. Even now if I bought myself something that cost more than twenty dollars, I would usually end up returning it.
So walking into work wearing a casual Valentino dress, I thought for a moment I was going to be sick. The same girl that had snickered at me the day before was in the elevator, and now she was openly glaring. I kept my eyes on the shiny metal until the doors opened and I sprang free.
When I got to my desk, there was something waiting for me. A single blood red lotus.
I glanced around again, but nobody was paying any attention. How the hell was he delivering things to my desk without somebody noticing? A better question was, how did he even getting into the building?
The answer popped into my mind and quickly expanded into all-consuming terror. Did he work here too?
Matt chose that moment to walk over and say hello, and I eyed him suspiciously. Was it possible he could be…
No. It definitely wasn’t Matt.
But then someone else popped into my head. Someone that made much more sense when I thought about it. If I was being logical and didn’t believe in coincidence, then there was someone else. A real possibility…
But that just sounded like more of my brain’s twisted way of thinking. I stopped myself right there. I was seriously going crazy, and I needed to stop. I needed to put my blackmailer out of mind. So that’s what I did. Until later that afternoon.
***
My job at the Bennett Corporation consisted of work I could do in my sleep. I didn’t have to focus too much because it was all repetitive, monotonous busy work. This had its pros and cons.
My mind kept drifting back to my blackmailer. Sadist. Whatever the hell he was. I’d only been playing his game for a week, and I was already losing… bad. So far, he’d seen my every play before I even made it. Knew my motives for wanting to touch him. For wearing awful clothing to meet him. He could even see that some sick and depraved part of me liked the things he was doing to me. I needed to gain back my control, and I needed to do it fast.
Six months wasn’t a life sentence by any means, but every day that passed by on the calendar still felt like too much. I couldn’t stop imagining Brayden sitting in his cell, depressed and alone.
Now that there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel, six months may as well have been an eternity. But if there was something I could do to speed the process up, then, by all means, I would do it. So I thought about bartering chips, of which it turned out I had none. Or at least that’s what I thought. But then my big head got this idea in it. This crazy idea that if I could convince my captor that I was truly invested in our time together, that perhaps he would be lenient.
It wasn’t a great plan if I was being honest. Brayden always told me I was the worst liar ever. He said I was too nice to be convincing, and the guilt always showed on my face. It was true.
But what did I have to be guilty for in this situation? I’d done nothing wrong. And after seeing the evidence, I realized Brayden hadn’t either. So who was the real monster here?
There was something my blackmailer said that rang true. My bloodline was tainted with darkness. And yet my whole life, I’d let everybody push me around. Always worried about offending them. Of letting them think I was like Norma. Or even worse, Frankie.
But maybe in this game, I needed to be more like them for a change. I needed to channel the darkness that ran through my veins and embrace it. To play this game better than this man ever could have predicted. After all, I’d only been with him twice, and already I could see his weakness.
His weakness was me.
Chapter Ten
When lunch time rolled around, I stopped by Nicole’s office to see if she wanted to grab a bite with me. She’d been distant the last few days, and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t overstaying my welcome in her apartment. We’d agreed I could stay for a couple months until I found my own place, but maybe that had changed. Either way, whatever was bothering her, I wanted her to know she could talk to me.
As I was about to duck into her office, I saw she was on the phone. The door was cracked, and she couldn’t see me. I wasn’t sure if I should wait or go on in, but as her words drifted into the hallway, I couldn’t help but listen.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” she hissed. “You never told me how far you were going to go.”
She clamped her mouth shut and rubbed her temples as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line.
“Of course I want that, but it doesn’t feel the way I thought it would. I know he wouldn’t have wanted this…”
Her words drifted off as a strong pair of hands gripped my shoulders from behind, and I let out a squeal of surprise.
“Eavesdropping, are we?”
I spun around and smacked Matt in the chest, embarrassed I’d been caught out. I gestured to the break room, and we started walking.
“I’m worried about Nicole,” I said defensively.
Matt frowned and shook his head. “It’s you I’m worried about.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Just that you’re a lamb amongst wolves here, and I think you need to be careful who you associate with.”
“Is there something you think I should know Matt?”
Stacey chose that moment to walk into the break room, eyeing us both accusingly.
“I need to get back to work,” Matt said gruffly. “I’ll see you around, Brighton.”
***
“You’re going to be away the whole weekend?” Nicole frowned.
“Yep.” I mustered up my best fake smile. “But before I go, I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?” she pulled a coconut water from the fridge and perched on the bar stool across from me.
“I wanted to ask if there was anything bothering you,” I said. “Or if I’m overstaying my welcome.”
Hurt flashed through her eyes, and she shook her head. “Of course not, Brighton. I love having you here. This apartment is too big for me anyway, so I’d like it if you’d consider staying here. There’s no need for you to find your own place unless you really want to.”
“Of course I’d like to stay,” I said. “But I wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing anything to upset you. You’ve seemed a little off lately.”
“Oh.” She pouted her lips. “It’s nothing to do with you, I swear. Just work stuff.”
“Does it have anything to do with Ryland?”
She jerked her eyes towards mine in surprise. “Why would you ask that?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I noticed he calls you a lot outside of work.”
Nicole let out a shaky laugh. “Oh, it’s nothing like that. We just have a ton of projects we’re working on at the moment.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “Well, I better get going.”
Nicole gave me a weak smile before I walked out the door. Time to see what I was made of.
Chapter Eleven
When I stepped into the hotel room, I had to cover my mouth to keep from screaming. A strange man sat at the table, his hands folded across his lap as he read from a newspaper. I had no idea who he was, but when h
e glanced at me, I knew he wasn’t my blackmailer. He was older, with fuzzy wisps of white hair and a wiry frame. He had to have been in his sixties, and judging by his pale blue eyes, he was no threat to me.
“Sorry to scare you, Miss Valentine.” He stood up and smoothed out his black suit. “My name is Ted, and I’m here to drive you.”
“Drive me where?”
“My boss informed me that you are to stay the weekend with him.” He crinkled his brows together. “He said it was already arranged between you two, and you would understand.”
“Oh.”
Of course, I understood what he meant. Either I went with this strange man to an unknown destination, or Brayden’s evidence would disappear.
This was our agreement, but the thought of being somewhere else out of my control was a bit daunting. At least in the hotel, I could scream if I needed to. But at the end of the day, what choice did I have? If I wanted to see Brayden released, this is what I had to do. I’d spent the entire day trying to figure out how to gain my blackmailer’s trust, and I wasn’t about to back down now.
“Alright,” I relented. “I guess I’m ready then.”
I walked towards the door, and Ted followed, rushing to open it for me. We stepped into the elevator and silence engulfed us. I caught him giving me a curious look, and I shifted uncomfortably. I wondered how often he did this sort of thing for his employer, or what exactly he knew of our agreement.
He was all business as he escorted me through the parking garage to a shiny black car. Belatedly, I tried to get a glimpse of the license plate, but Ted caught me. He opened the door and cleared his throat, holding out a simple black blindfold in his hand.
“My employer said you understood this is required as well.”
Ted looked more uncomfortable with the idea than I was as I reached out and took the material. If only I’d had the courage to look into my blackmailer’s eyes that first day, I wouldn’t have to keep up these childish pretenses. I wanted to know who this man was. I wanted to know everything about him. And I wasn’t entirely sure anymore if it was because of what he was doing, or the warring feelings inside of me.
