by Lisa Harris
Five minutes later, Kayleigh entered the room, the fatigue from the drive up from Columbus where she’d been visiting her brother coupled with worry about Mitch evident on her face.
“Kayleigh . . .”
“I got here as quickly as I could. My brother’s parking the car. How is he?”
Avery walked toward her, struggling for the right words, but she already knew Kayleigh could see it in her eyes.
Kayleigh shook her head. “He’s gone, isn’t he?”
Avery nodded. “I’m so, so sorry. They did everything they could to save him, but in the end . . . it just wasn’t enough.”
“His vest?” Kayleigh dropped onto one of the chairs. “I told him to wear his vest.”
“He was wearing it, and while they save many lives, sometimes it just isn’t enough.” Avery knelt down in front of her, knowing all too well what Kayleigh was experiencing. The shock numbed you, then the pain hit. Anger, depression . . . it could be a long time before acceptance finally settled in. “I’m so sorry. Mitch was like a brother to me. He was family.”
“I know.” She laughed in spite of the tears. “I was so jealous of you at first, he seemed to bring you up in every conversation. He looked up to you.”
“And he loved you.”
“I just can’t believe he’s gone.” Kayleigh stared at her hands twisting in her lap. “I found the perfect wedding dress online last week. I hadn’t even shown it to him yet. It had the most beautiful neckline with tiny beads sewn in . . . He’ll never see it. Never see me in it.”
“I’m so, so sorry, Kayleigh.” Avery felt a lump of emotion lodge in her throat. “He . . . he asked me to tell you how much he loved you before he died.”
“Thank you.” She grabbed for the box of tissues beside her, took one, and blotted her eyes. “It’s crazy, but in some ways I think he tried to prepare me for this day. I just always assumed that he’d be around for us to enjoy our honeymoon and, at the least, a few years of wedded bliss. He was a good guy who believed in what was good and right.”
“Which is what made him a good cop.”
Kayleigh blew her nose. “What about his parents?”
“They’re on a flight from Florida right now.”
“I never met them. We were planning to visit next month—Mitch had requested a week off. We thought we’d spend a day at Disney World, maybe a few days playing golf so I could get to know them. I was terrified, actually imagining one of those horrible meet-the-in-laws disasters. I told him that once. Now I’d do anything to spend that week with them.”
“They’re great people. I met them once. You’ll like them. They’ll be there for you, and I think that together you’ll be able to work through things.”
“I don’t know what to feel.” She shook her head. “I’ll meet Mitch’s parents and figure out what happens the next few days, then go stay with my brother and his family.”
“You’ll need them close.”
Kayleigh nodded.
Avery struggled for the right words. Nothing she could say could fix the situation. “Please, don’t hesitate to call if you need someone to talk to.”
“You’ll pray for me, won’t you?” Kayleigh fiddled with the strap of her purse. “I . . . I’ve never really gone to church, but right now I need something . . . anything.” “I already have been praying, along with our prayer team at church.”
“Kayleigh . . .” Her brother stopped in the doorway, the resemblance obvious.
Kayleigh started toward the door, then turned back to Avery. “I’ve got to go talk to my family. Thank you. For everything.”
Avery watched Kayleigh walk out of the room with her brother’s arm around her. Mitch was gone, and nothing any of them could do would bring him back. But she could find out the truth about what happened at the warehouse. Which for starters meant digging deeper into why Mason had really been there.
35
Jackson found Avery at the neighborhood park not far from the precinct. She sat on one of the wooden benches, hands in her lap, staring straight ahead, her gaze lost somewhere along the horizon. He watched her for a moment, taking in her now familiar features and marveling at how her entrance into his life had changed something inside him. It had brought back that spark of life he hadn’t even realized was missing.
Knowing it could have been her he’d lost today in that warehouse swept through him. He stopped beneath the shade of an oak tree, a dozen paces from where she sat. The reality that she could have been the one to take the bullet had shown him one thing—that he wasn’t ready to lose her. Seeing her now with his own eyes was the only thing that could assure him that she was okay. Alive.
He slid onto the seat beside her, wishing there were something he could do to make the hurt and pain she was feeling disappear. But that wasn’t going to happen today. “I got the call about Mitch. I’m so sorry.”
She looked up at him, the faint hint of a smile masked by tears. “I needed some time off alone to clear my head. At least according to the captain.”
“If you want me to leave—”
“No.” She reached up and clasped his hand. “Please. Stay.”
He laced her fingers together with his, then pulled her closer. She leaned against him, nuzzling her head against his shoulder. It had been so long since he’d felt this way. Since he’d felt comfortable with another woman. Avery had walked into his life, surprising and unexpected, and while he might not know what the future held, he did know that he wanted them to face it together.
He looked around, all too aware of the open space surrounding them and of her vulnerability. Too much had happened in the last twenty-four hours for her to be taking risks. If someone was after her . . .
“Does Captain Peterson know where you are?”
“Don’t worry. My shadows are over there.”
He could see it in her eyes. She wasn’t going to let whoever was behind this rob her of her freedom, especially after what she’d lost. He might not agree but also knew that she wasn’t the kind of woman to run and hide from a situation. Confining her would only make things worse.
“Do you want to talk?”
“I’m not sure I would know where to begin. With everything that’s happened . . . It’s still so unreal at the moment.” She leaned back and looked up at him. “I’ve learned, though, that once you start having to tell people about a tragedy, trying to believe you imagined it all doesn’t work anymore.”
“I know.”
It had been that way with Ellie. How many times after she died had he walked into their bedroom, forgetting for that split second that she wasn’t there anymore? Every time he broke the news to a family member or friends, the reality that she was gone forever came crashing in on him. He didn’t think he’d ever get past the gut-wrenching pain of losing her. Until one day he woke up and realized he had to move on. But the day-to-day process had never been easy. Never short-lived. And the long-reaching fingers of pain and loneliness still tried to grasp him when he least expected it.
He leaned back against the bench, shoving aside his memories of loss. This wasn’t the time to dwell on his own past. “Tell me what happened.”
“It was supposed to be a routine search.” She pressed a tissue to her eyes that were still puffy from crying. “I had the search warrant. The teams were set up in the front and in back. But the moment we stepped into that warehouse, everything fell apart. It all happened so fast, like they were expecting us.”
“An ambush?”
“Not according to the captain.” She shrugged, clearly still mentally processing what had happened. “But they were armed and started shooting before any of us could react. By the time I turned, Mitch was already lying on the floor. Blood everywhere. They killed him, Jackson. Shot him in cold blood as if his life wasn’t worth anything.”
“I know how close the two of you were.”
“I realize that death is always a possibility with this job, but when it happens right in front of you, it seems unreal. I
had to tell his fiancée that there wasn’t going to be a wedding. His parents that their son wasn’t coming for a visit next month.”
“I don’t know. It’s never easy, no matter how prepared you think you are.”
“Did you know that Kayleigh quit her job to move here from New York a few weeks ago so she could be closer to Mitch? And now . . . and now there isn’t going to be a wedding. Mitch loved her. I mean really loved her, and that’s saying something for him. In all the time I knew him, he was nothing more than a player until he met her, then everything changed.”
He pulled her closer to him, letting her head rest against his shoulder again. “Tell me about Mitch. Before last night, I’d only talked to him a couple of times. He always seemed like a nice guy.”
“He was. Hardworking. Honorable. A bit of a goofball, but not when it came to his work. He was good at what he did. He loved the Falcons and followed them religiously, had a crazy passion for trivia and superhero quotes, and ate sushi, of all things.” Good memories brought with them the hint of a smile in her eyes. They would be something to hold on to in the coming days and weeks. “We talked a lot about faith during our all-night stakeouts. Mitch always told me he hoped I was right about there being a God who loved him, but he’d seen too much in this life to believe that there was a God who really cared.”
“It wasn’t a choice you could make for him.”
She lifted her head and glanced at him. A shadow crossed her expression again. “I know.”
“I have to say, though, I understand where he was coming from.” How many times had he stood over a homicide victim and wondered where God was? But God wasn’t the one to blame for man’s actions. “Sometimes it’s hard not to question. We spend our lives taking down the bad guys, trying to bring order to a world where injustice wins out more often than not. But neither can we blame God for man’s choices. That’s what always seems to help me hold on to my faith. The reality of God is bigger than the failings of man.”
“It’s still hard to accept,” Avery said. “And honestly, it makes me want to think twice about everything I’ve always believed about heaven and hell. But I also know I can’t pick and choose what I believe about God.”
“Because God stays the same no matter what we believe about him.”
“I know that despite what I do or think, God is still sovereign. I don’t want a watered-down faith, but sometimes it just hurts so bad . . .”
Jackson tightened his arm around her. “So what happens next?”
“The captain expects me to go home and take the rest of the day and tomorrow off.”
“Good.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can. My partner was just murdered. I have to find out how this could have happened.”
“Do you really think you’re emotionally ready to be in there questioning the suspects?”
“Now you’re beginning to sound like the captain.” She looked up at him and frowned. “I know the routine, Jackson. This isn’t the first time I’ve lost someone I cared about. I know the steps of grief and the process. But this is something I have to do. This isn’t just about a serial killer anymore. I need to go back to work and find out why this happened. Because there’s something else at play now as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mason Taylor was in that warehouse. He was arrested along with the other men who shot at us. According to the captain, Mason was working undercover to bring down a ring of arms dealers Robert Sourn is allegedly involved in.”
“And I take it that isn’t what you think.”
Avery shook her head. “I think there’s a whole lot more involved than trafficking weapons.”
“I know you think Mason’s involved with the department leaks.”
“Yes, but while I admit that I’m looking at things from a somewhat biased angle, everything is still too convenient. They were there, waiting for us with their loaded weapons.”
“When Ellie died, I wanted—needed—to blame someone, but what was there beyond the disease that took her away from me?”
“I can’t let this go.”
“Then don’t. But maybe you need to focus on one case at a time. Find the rest of the girls involved in this trafficking ring, but don’t give up on your brother’s case.”
“And if there is a connection somewhere?”
“Then one will lead to the other.” Jackson hesitated, then decided to go ahead and tread carefully on ground he knew she would fight him on. “I do think that the captain is right about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Take the next thirty-six hours to get some rest. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to think clearly and solve this case. Spend some time with Tess and your family. Spend some time praying and asking God for direction.”
“Why do you always come across as wise and discerning . . . and put me in my place? I guess asking God for help is where I should have started.”
He squeezed her hand. “You’d better watch out, or you’re going to give me a big head.”
“I’m serious. Today reminded me that we don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that I need the kind of balance you bring to my life.”
“Good, because I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
36
Avery sat curled up in her father’s leather chair beside the office window, reading her Bible and trying to extend this morning’s worship time. The late morning light filtered through the sheer curtains. She’d needed today. Corporate worship with a church family she’d grown to love over the past few years, and now the chance to seek God’s comfort in the silence. Finding all the answers still seemed out of reach, but for now she was clinging to the moment of rest from the battle.
“Avery?”
Avery looked up from her Bible and smiled at her father. He’d changed from his normal suit-and-tie Sunday attire to one of his Atlanta Braves T-shirts and sweatpants. “Hey.”
“I didn’t know you were still here. I thought you went with Jackson and Tess to feed the animals.”
“They insisted I stay here and rest.” She’d started to protest but, with the two of them, realized it was a losing fight. And besides that, she knew they were right. She really did need the rest and time alone. “This could almost feel like old times, you know. All we need now is some of that double fudge ice cream.”
“Now that sounds good. Your mother always got on me for indulging, but it was worth it.”
It had become a tradition growing up. When Daddy wasn’t working, Sunday afternoons had been their time. While Mama and Emily napped, and Michael played video games, Avery had hung out with her father, and they’d talked, laughed, and simply enjoyed their time together.
“If you need to work, I could leave . . .”
“You know you always come before any work I might have.” He nodded toward his desktop computer. “I just thought I’d check my Facebook account.”
“Facebook? I never thought the day would come when I’d hear my father hangs out with friends online.”
“Just wait until you retire. I’ve connected with friends I went to elementary school with. I’m also reading Hemingway, Jack London, Thoreau . . . all books I promised myself I’d read years ago but never found the time to.”
“We’ll have to get you an ebook reader for Christmas.”
“Let’s not push things too far. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I still like the feel of a real book.”
Avery laughed, trying not to dwell on the pang of guilt for smiling when so much had been lost. Mitch would want them to go on with their lives. To laugh and be happy again. But those feelings were going to be few and far between in the coming weeks.
Her father caught her gaze. “It makes me happy to see you relaxing, with a smile on your face.”
Avery felt her stomach cinch. “For now. The storm’s about to hit.”
“I know.”
Which was one of the reasons she needed to soak up t
he sense of peace and protection she’d always found in the home she’d grown up in. It was days like today when she wished she could transport twenty years into her past and return to that place of safety and innocence she’d always felt as a child. Where hot summer nights running around outside with her cousins, BBQs on the back porch, and Sunday potlucks eating Nana’s turnip greens and sweet potato casserole were the norm. And the bad guy was no more dangerous than the imaginary boogeyman under her bed.
But life didn’t work that way, and she’d learned years ago that it was impossible to hide from the realities of the world. Which was why refueling her spirit had become so essential.
Her father sat down in the matching leather armchair next to her and leaned back, his legs crossed. “I told you this last night, but I want you to know again how sorry I am about Mitch. I know what it’s like to lose a partner. It’s not easy at all.”
“I know you understand, and it helps that I’m not going through this alone.”
“You’re never alone, Avery. Not in this family, anyway.”
Avery let out a soft chuckle. She’d agreed to take last night off and had managed to keep herself distracted by enjoying a quiet family evening with Tess, Emily, and her parents. They’d ordered takeout, played a few hands of cards, then sat around the table eating popcorn and talking about everything except what had happened. She’d have plenty of time to deal with the emotions surrounding Mitch’s death in the coming days, but after a week that had pushed her emotions to the brink, she quickly realized just how much she needed the break. She even laughed a few times at Tess’s attempts to lighten the mood as they all tried to pretend—at least for one evening—like things were normal.
But trying to forget had only worked for so long. She ended up sleeping little, reliving instead the shootout in the warehouse over and over, while her mind tried to figure out what had gone wrong. And what she could have done to stop what happened.
