by Sadie Grubor
Laughter bubbled out of me.
"I'm serious, Mia. I'll do this, but I don't want to hear the shit they would say."
"Aww, you don't want people to know I got you neutered?"
My giggling grew into screaming pleas for him to stop the tickle torture.
Chapter Three
Chris
"Mia and Maggie are home now, yes?" Dr. J sat across from me in the leather chair in my den.
"Yes, thank, fucking, God."
With a small smile, he nodded. "Good."
Clearing his throat, he started right into our session.
"So, Christopher, have you had any recent nightmares, or incidents?"
"No, not really." Shrugging, I sipped from my water bottle.
"What do you mean by not really?" He pressed.
"I mean, I dreamt of my mother the other night, but it wasn't as intense as the one from two weeks ago." I answered, rolling my head on my shoulders. These weekly sessions still made me a little tense; talking about my feelings and other crap still didn't come easily.
"I see." Dr. J examined me.
"I know that look. I'm not hiding anything. The dream was unnerving, but it wasn't like the nightmares I used to experience and it wasn't as unpleasant as the one two weeks ago." I stated firmly, leveling my eyes on him. He finally dropped the curious look on his face.
"Tell me about it."
"We were in the kitchen of the old house. She was showing me how to scoop cookie dough…" Thoughts of the many times we made cookies together in the small, pale blue kitchen flooded me. She was such a great mother. The darkness sat at the edge of my memories.
"Christopher?"
Leaving my thoughts, I looked at Dr. J. He leaned forward.
"Are you okay?" His eyes dropped to my chest.
Looking down, I saw I'd been rubbing my chest and I dropped my hand.
"Yeah," shaking my head, "just distracted for a minute."
"With…?"
"Just the times she made cookies. It kind of all came back." Rolling my head again, I continued. "Anyhow, um, he called out her name from the living room. She went to him and never came back. I continued to fill up the tray and when I was done, I went to find her. But, the house was empty and then it dissolved around me."
"Is that all?"
"No," I shook my head. "Mia appeared out of nothingness. She walked up to me and said everything was okay." I smiled. "Then I woke up."
"And how did you feel when you woke up?"
"I felt awake."
"Christopher," he chuckled, "you always have to be difficult, don't you?"
I grinned.
"What was the main feeling?"
"Sad." I mumbled.
"Because?"
"Mia wasn't there when I woke up."
Dr. J's brow rose in question.
"She was still in New York."
"Did anything else happen?"
"No," I replied, shaking my head again. "I called Mia and —"
"You called Mia?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You said nothing else happened."
"It was just a phone call."
"I know it was. I’m just making sure I have the whole picture."
Groaning, I stood and started pacing. This analyzing bullshit still grated my nerves. I took deep breaths, reeling in my temper.
"Chris?" I stopped pacing when Dr. J addressed me. "You have to understand. When you woke up, you called Mia. We've talked about this before. She's who you trust, who you confide in, and you center most of your life on her."
"And what the fuck is wrong with that?" Standing straight, feet apart, and arms over my chest, I put up my defenses.
"It's a lot to ask of someone, don't you think?"
The tension in my body eased a little. "Maybe."
"Look, I'm simply saying to be careful. You aren't married and you are both still young."
"What do you mean by that?" I narrowed my eyes, the tension coming back.
"Don't get defensive."
"Don't get defensive? How can I not get defensive? You're implying she'll leave me or I'll leave her. Aren't you?"
He took a deep breath. "People split up all the time. I'm not saying you two will, I just want to make sure you aren't devastated – again – if she wasn't with you."
"She will always be with me." Dropping my arms to my sides, I clenched my fists. Controlling my temper was starting to become more difficult.
"I'm not here to debate the longevity of your relationship, only to make sure you are capable of handling outcomes that occur in life."
"That will not be one I'll have to deal with."
He put his hands up. "Okay, fine. Let's move on."
I sat back down on the couch. Anger still ebbed, but I fought it.
"Have you given any more thought to the program I talked to you about?"
"Yeah, some." I nodded.
Dr. J had mentioned a program for children who suffered physically and emotionally tragic experiences. He thought, because of my similar experiences, maybe I would consider volunteering.
"Before you decide, why don't you visit the place? See if you are comfortable being around the kids." Dr. J offered, reading the hesitancy in my expression.
What the hell did I know about troubled kids? Besides being one, I didn't know what to do with them. Hell, I barely knew what to do with myself.
I shrugged.
"I really believe being a part of the healing process for other kids, with similar backgrounds as you, could help you work through some of your unresolved emotions. But it isn't something to take lightly, Chris."
"I know that." I barked. "Why do you think I'm hesitant?"
He nodded. "Well, I'm glad you realize that this would be a serious undertaking, but I think in order to better understand, you should make a visit."
"I'll think about it."
When our time finished, he left the information about the volunteer program. I picked up the brochures and flyers and glanced over them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mia
Maggie sat in the middle of our bed playing while I stood in front of my large closet. The bridesmaid dress would be delivered to the hotel in Vegas, so I didn't have to pack that item. It's still hard to believe that Las Vegas is the chosen location. I thought back to the time we had spent there while on tour. It had felt like ages since both bands were in the same place, though, with the situation between Laney and Jackson, it definitely wouldn't be the same.
Laney and Jackson had seemed so right together. He doted on her and she worshipped him. While on tour, they had developed a connection that appeared impenetrable. But once they were apart, Laney on the Hush tour and Jackson back home working with Chris, they dissolved into clipped phone conversations and arguments. It wasn't immediate, but it wasn't gradual either. After a particularly loud phone argument, Laney went out with Kat to blow off steam, which resulted in the final chapter in their love story.
With a sigh, I began pulling out clothes to pack for the weekend.
"Aren't you done yet?" Chris asked, leaning against the bedroom doorframe.
"Daddy!" Maggie squealed.
Both our attentions turned to her while he bounced on the bed and clapped.
"Hey, baby girl." He crooned and walked over to her. Lying on the bed next to her, she climbed on him.
"When are you going to pack?"
He snorted. "Please. All I need to do is throw some stuff in a duffle bag."
His eyes stayed on Maggie, as he rolled her and tickled her stomach. She giggled with delight.
Seeing them together, so close, made my heart swell. She looked so much like him. The color of his skin, lips, nose, and his blue eyes reflected in hers.
"How was your session?" I turned back to the closet.
"Alright."
"Just alright?"
"Yeah. Dr. J thinks you're going to leave me."
His statement shocked me. I spun around, wide eyed.
"Why would he think, or even, say anything like that?"
Chris narrowed his eyes. "Is it true?"
My shock melted into anger. How could he think I wanted to leave him?
"How can you ask me that?"
He smiled. "Just checking."
"Oh, you…" I started, then threw a t-shirt at him.
Laughing, he pulled the shirt from his face.
"Pee-Boo." Maggie giggled. She began covering her face with the shirt and pulling it away. She repeated "pee-boo" over and over while Chris played along.
"Chris, why would Dr. J say I was going to leave you?"
"He didn't really say that exactly." He sighed. "His argument is that we are young, unmarried, and things happen – especially to famous couples."
"Oh." Kneeling down to the suitcases, I began to zip up my clothes and shoes.
"We could get married, ya know?"
My head snapped back up. No longer playing peek-a-boo, he stared at me. Intensity hardened his face, but his eyes reflected his nervousness.
"Chris…"
"There's no reason why we can't, Mia." Sliding to the edge of the bed, he sat up and Maggie went back to her toys. "We live together, with our daughter. Is getting married such a big deal?"
Walking on my knees, I situated myself between Chris's legs.
"We have done so much, so quickly. Why rush into marriage?"
His hands came up to hold the sides of my face.
"Because I love you and never want to be without you."
Grabbing his wrists, I leaned my face into his right hand. "You won't be without me."
He grinned.
"But," his grin fell as I continued, "Let's settle into our relationship without tours taking us away from each other, before we decide to get married."
"Why?" He pleaded.
"Marriage is a big deal, regardless of us already living together and having a daughter."
His eyes revealed the emotions he fought.
"Chris, I love you." I stated firmly, pushing up from the floor, I kissed him.
His hands slid to the back of my head, pulling my face closer.
"Love," Maggie sang from behind him.
Breaking our kiss, we looked to our daughter, her smile lightening the atmosphere of the bedroom.
"You will marry me, Mia." Looking back at him, his eyes fixed on me intently. "Maybe not today, tomorrow, or next week, but you will be mine."
"I'm yours." Standing onto my feet, still between his legs, I cupped his cheek. "You have me, Chris, but marriage can wait."
"For now." He grinned.
Chapter Four
Mia
The flight to Vegas was smooth, but Maggie did not enjoy take off at all. Burying her head into my chest, her little hands dug into my arms. Landing had been better, but still made her nervous. She had napped for a couple hours, before I fed her and got her dressed for the wedding. Once Linda and dad arrived to take her with them, I was able to start dressing.
"Are you ready?" Chris yelled for the fourth time from the living room of the Vegas hotel suite.
"You could've gone with Elliott." I yelled back, slipping into the vintage red and black polka dot, rockabilly inspired halter dress.
He grumbled again, but I couldn't make out what he said. After slipping on my last black heel, I grabbed my small clutch from the bed.
Stepping out of the bedroom, Chris sat on the couch, his head down and elbows on his knees. After Maggie had left, he became bored and even more impatient. I cleared my throat and he looked up.
"I'm ready." I stuck my tongue out.
"And you think I'd let you walk through Vegas dressed like that, so I can wait with Elliott?"
He stood, looking me up and down. With the grace of a large cat, he prowled toward me, his lithe body fitted into a vintage gray suit. The silver chain hanging from his hip, hidden under the suit jacket, swung against his left leg. His tattoos peeked over the collar. The contrast of vintage meets bad boy rocker made my knees wobble a little. Okay, they wobbled a lot.
"I know that look." I put one arm out in from of me but he didn't stop. "Chris, we have to get going." I backed up, scooting over to put the couch between us.
"What?" He feigned an innocent expression.
"You know what." He kept coming. I continued evasive maneuvers. "They're going to be waiting on us."
He shrugged. "It's not my wedding." His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip before sucking it back into his mouth. "I'd rather push that way to tight dress up around your waist and bend you over the couch."
Fuck, that sounded like a good time. A shiver rolled through my body.
"Christopher Tobias, he's one of your best friends! And she's—"
He put his arms up in surrender. "Fine." He growled.
Keeping an eye on him, I walked toward the door. As soon as I cleared the couch, he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling my back against his chest.
"Damn it, Chris!" I tried to be mad, but the amusement in my voice gave me away.
"I can't help it. You look so amazing." His mouth pressed an open mouth kiss to my bare shoulder.
"We have to go." I replied, but my words came out breathy as my body heated from his touch. His hands slid up my sides until he cupped my breasts. "Chris." His name, half groan, half moan, rolled off my lips.
"You're right," he dropped his hands from my body and stepped away, "we have to go."
He walked toward the door.
My mouth dropped open. He was playing with me!
Looking over his shoulder, he grinned. "You coming?" He grabbed the door knob, pulling the door open.
"That was mean." I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest, I walked by him and out the door.
A shriek left me when his hand connected with my ass. Before I could turn on him, he pressed against my back. Hands on my hips, we continued toward the elevators. His lips moved close to my ear.
"I promise to lift that skirt later and do everything I've been thinking about since we've been alone in the hotel room." He whispered. His hands slid to my ass and squeezed.
"Promises, promises." I sighed, earning me another ass slap.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We pulled up to the chapel, not at all surprised to see the paparazzi already swarming. Stepping out of the heavily tinted car, Chris pulled me out behind him wrapping a protective arm around me.
"Chris! Mia! How are you this evening?" One photographer asked, trying to be polite.
"Are you looking forward to the event? How are the bride and the groom?" Another called.
"Give us a smile guys." A flash invaded, blinding me. It wasn't even dusk yet, why did he need the flash?
Even after planning three different ceremonies, the news got out. Elliott let Ryan choose the hotel for the after wedding dinner and the rooms we would stay in. Ryan choice was based on the dancing fountains. Since Elliot could reserve one of the private Villas for them to stay in, he hadn't argued.
Inside the chapel lobby, two body guards blocked the doors from onlookers.
"I'll see you inside." Kissing Chris quickly, I slipped out from under his arm and headed towards the back room.
"I'll be the one waiting at the altar." He yelled in response. I looked over my shoulder. "You know, the one who won't be getting married." He finished. With a wink he walked through the large white doors that lead to the chapel.
I wish he would understand how much I want to marry him. It's just too soon, too quick. We still need time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Serena stood in her knee length, empire waist white dress staring at the reflection in the floor length mirror.
"You look Fan-Fucking-Tabulous."
She spun around, smiling. "Thanks. I feel huge." Her smile fell.
Rolling my eyes, I stepped all the way into the room. I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her cheek before pulling away.
"You are gorgeous and hardly showing." Patting her small, hidden baby bump, she swiped at my hand.
"Stop." She tried to sound tough, but her nerves caused her voice to waiver.
"You look very Marilyn." Taking her hand, she looked into my eyes.
"What if this is a mistake?" Her eyes widened in panic. "I mean, we've known each other less than two years." Releasing my hand she began to pace in her white strappy heels. "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean we have to get married, right?" She looked at me again. "You and Chris have been fine living together with Maggie, right? I have to think of Ryan. What if he is jealous of the baby? What if Elliott loves the baby, his baby, more? Ry would be devastated Mia."
"Serena," I grabbed her shoulders, "stop."
Her chest rose and fell heavy and quick. Tears filled her eyes. I found it hard to watch my sister, my maternal figure, confidant, and best friend break down. She's the strong one.
A knock on the door pulled our attention away from each other. Serena tensed.
"We're ready." An older woman with dyed red hair and bright red lips leaned into the room. "Is everything okay?"
"We need a minute." I smiled. The woman nodded and quickly closed the door.
Turning back to Serena I cupped her face, locking eyes with her. "Elliott loves you, loves Ryan, and would never—"
"You don't know that." She interrupted. "There is a difference between loving a son and another man's son." Tears began slipping from her eyes as she revealed her insecurities.
"This is just the hormones talking." I firmly stated. "They make pregnant woman a little more emotional, remember?"
She wiped the wetness from her cheeks and nodded.
"That's all this is. You know Elliott loves both you and Ry. He would never hurt him, or you."
Her shoulders began to relax, but her eyes still looked wary.
"Maybe not on purpose, but, Mia—"
Another knock on the door and the lady leaned back into the room. Her mouth opened, but my nerves were raw.
"We still need a minute." I was harsh, but Serena needed my attention.
"I need more than a minute." Serena sobbed.
The door closed quickly and I could hear the woman speaking with someone on the other side of the door.
"Look at me," Serena pulled her eyes from the door to my face. "He loves you. Do you think he doesn't?"
