by M. M. Reid
“Answer me!” I snapped and took an aggressive step closer.
She glared up at me defiantly. “You’re being childish.”
“I don’t need to be lectured, least of all by you.” I brushed past her and began to return to my friends.
“Augrais,” she called out to me after a few seconds.
I stopped but did not turn.
Selene hesitated as if wondering if she could trust me. Then she spoke. “We’re hunting Laucian.”
I must admit, I did not expect that answer. Stunned, I half turned back to her. “You think Laucian is here? Now?”
The Mother Pagan shook her head. “I didn’t know what we’d find here,” she admitted, hands clasping her skirt tightly. “Anandus used his Handsigns to muster his Air gift. He sensed a great Fire at a shopping mall and we just assumed it was Laucian himself.”
“Why didn’t you come to us sooner?” I asked, now looking directly at her. “If you saw us fighting Ravenfury and Anandus, why did you allow it continue?”
“We didn’t know you were here,” Selene explained. As she spoke, she took steps towards me. “We only arrived because we were tracking the Shadows in the city and that led us here. I was surprised, for I thought they were planning an attack on us, not on this family. When you fought Arch Druid Ravenfury and Anandus, I was mustering the Pagans, Boorr, and Druids for an attack at any moment.”
I didn’t say anything as she spoke. I was more shocked that she was able to reform the Underground Ring army, and that I had not noticed. Lokus had always taught me to focus not only on my strength, but on my tactical mind as well. I suppose that area, like that of most young men, is where I needed development.
“So the Druids and Boorr have joined our cause?” I did not make eye contact with her and just looked into the distance.
“Yes,” Selene said uncomfortably. “Their leaders, Ravenfury and Anandus, have been a great asset.” She then added, after a moment’s hesitation, “Lord Lokus helped us to get the supplies we needed to feed the growing army. What’s strange, however, is that right after we were sent the provisions, Lokus himself disappeared and we have had no way to contact him.”
I didn’t know how to explain it to her so she would understand. How could she truly comprehend what I had to do?
“Please tell me what Trosian said isn’t true?” Selene asked, her fingers clutching my arm.
I blinked a few times. Trosian spoke against me? “What did he say?”
“You’re so dangerous that you tried to murder Lokus,” Selene said, peering at me intently.
“That bastard,” I said, clenching my teeth. “When I get a hold of him, I’m going to—.”
“Augrais, the truth!” Selene shouted.
My eyes met hers fiercely. “I fought him for my freedom,” I said, enunciating every word, “and defeated him.”
Selene closed her eyes in pain as if this is what she expected. “Oh Augrais,” her voice was thick with sadness. “How could you?”
“I saved Trosian’s life. I saved all their lives! Did he mention that part?” I asked, raising my voice.
“Did you forget that you and Lokus are on the same side? You should be trying to kill Laucian, not one another!” Selene shot back.
“You can’t judge me. You weren’t even there.” I dismissed her with a wave of my hand.
“And that boy?” Selene added with more fury, pointing in the direction of the house. “You need to hand him over to the Underground Ring. He needs someone with years of experience. You can’t just blunder through learning what works and what doesn’t with him. You saw what happens when strong emotions make the Fire unstable! He could hurt you or kill your friends. And all it takes it one mistake, just one, Augrais.”
“Why? So you can use him like a glorified weapon? I know what I’m doing!” I wildly defended myself like a cornered animal against Selene’s logic.
“Great start!” Selene was not backing down from me. “In his rage, Yayel hurt Anandus and Ravenfury. And look what he did to Trosian’s neck! You had to nearly kill the poor thing to control him! He needs someone with experience. Something you lack.”
I shook my head in disbelief. Was she trying to provoke me?
“We will take him—” she said.
“I’ll kill the first one of you that touches him,” I cut off the end of her sentence.
We stood in hostile silence. In my mind’s eye, this was going to happen so differently. So many questions ran through my head. Questions about my father, about Lokus and this Shin Dynasty, but my pride prevented me from asking them.
The veins on Selene’s forehead throbbed as she shook her head. “I see talking to you will get me nowhere.”
I didn’t respond, still trying to control the boiling rage in the pit of my stomach.
“Right,” Selene said after a moment, then began to walk away back towards the house.
“Wait,” I called but she did not falter.
I hesitated for a moment then gave chase. With my Vitae Lord speed, I rushed by her and whipped around to block her path.
“Step aside,” Selene said. Her voice trembled but still remained resolute.
“I’m not done yet.”
“Is he bothering you, my lady?” Ravenfury’s voice came from behind me. I could feel Anandus and my friends were with him.
“No,” Selene replied. “You’ve said enough, Augrais,” she said, and then stepped around me.
I pivoted and snatched her arm in my hand, roughly. “You will listen, Pagan.”
In an instant, weapons were drawn all around me as Anandus and Ravenfury rose to defend their leader.
“Stand down!” Selene shouted with such authority that the Boorr and the Druid froze in their tracks. She then looked to me with her ice-blue eyes. “Augrais, you are a liability to the Underground Ring and to everyone around you.” She hesitated and took a deep breath before speaking again, “Therefore, I cannot, in good faith, allow you to assist us in the defeat of the Shadows or their Master, Laucian.”
The rage in my stomach was boiling over like a volcano starting to erupt. “You are a fool!” I roared. “I am the only one strong enough to defeat him!”
“Go home, Augrais,” Selene said as she ripped her arm from my grasp. “Back to the forest, away from humanity. That is where you belong.”
Every cell in my body cried out to her as the Mother Pagan swept past me, to ask to stop, to come back. As if she had heard my thoughts, she stopped and cocked her head to the side. Her black hair shrouded her face so I could only see her pale lips as she spoke.
“Are you coming, Trosian?”
My rival nodded as he righted himself and took Selene’s side. “Yes, my lady.”
I could hardly believe what I seeing as both Trosian and Lee took the side of Selene. “What are you doing?”
“Ben, let’s go,” Trosian said, ignoring me.
Ben lingered for a moment then began to shuffle his way after them, his head down.
“How dare you! Traitors! ” I called after them. “Everything I’ve done has been for you!”
“Everything you’ve done has been for yourself,” Trosian said, his voice void of emotion. “All you truly care about is destroying Laucian and getting your precious revenge. You don’t care who gets killed in the process. I’m not going to sit idly by as you destroy our last chance of surviving.”
“This is what you were planning when you were gone?” I said, seething in rage.
Trosian scoffed at me. “You did this to yourself,” he said, then looked to Yayel. “Come on, boy. Let’s go.” My rival stepped forward to grab the child who was spellbound by his Water gift.
“Don’t touch him!” I shouted as I drew Balmung free. I only took two steps forward before I froze, as Ben stepped between us.
“Stop it,” Ben said, his voice low and weak.
“Ben,” I said, a lump rising into my throat, “I thought we were brothers?”
“My brother died a week ago,�
�� Ben said, eyes welling up.
“Leave the child,” Selene said coldly. “I don’t want any useless deaths.”
“Ben, please?” I begged as they began to move.
Ben nodded as if to tell me he understood, but it was out of his hands. “You take care of yourself Augrais.”
And with that, they walked into the forest and out of my life. I should have chased them. I should have convinced them that they needed me. But it was my pride that stopped me. I wouldn’t see Selene or my friends again for a long time…and by then, it would already be too late.
Chapter 18
Three months had passed since my friends left to join Selene and the Underground Ring. Not knowing where else to go, I returned to my childhood home with Yayel. He had nowhere else to go and I was best kept away from the world in a place where I couldn’t hurt anyone. The remains of the cabin were still intact, the singed ground just starting to have grass grow upon it. We pitched a pair of tents and settled into a simple life. I began to train Yayel in the ways of the Mystic, attempting to harness the great Fire within him while teaching him basic tactics and strategies for survival. We sparred near the ravine where my own Fire awakened, where my father and I had sparred years before.
I ducked as Yayel leapt over me, rolling fluidly to his feet. He spun about, assailing me with a boxing combination. His face contorted with frustration as I slipped around his blows and struck him hard with an open palm to the chest. He coughed as he struck the ground on the flat of his back, the wind knocked from his lungs.
“Do you think the Master of Shadows would let you rest?” I asked, goading him as my father did to me.
Yayel ground his teeth as he rose. “Shut up,” he snarled, annoyed that I pointed out his weakness.
“Make me!” I challenged.
Fire ignited, Yayel dashed forward with an inhuman speed, throwing knees and fists but catching nothing but air as I danced about him. It was in these moments I felt like myself again—Augrais, the Vitae Lord; Augrais, the powerful—but those illusions only lasted so long. In desperation, Yayel leapt at me, succeeding only in smacking to the ground, face full of dirt.
I placed my foot between his shoulder blades. “Get up,” I commanded, taunting him.
The boy struggled but found himself pinned by my foot.
“OK,” he said finally as he panted. “You win. It’s over.”
“It’s not over until I say it is!” I said, driving my foot down into his back. “Do you think the Shadows will care if you can’t defend yourself? Do you think they will show you mercy?”
Yayel yelped, as the pressure from my foot became so great that the ground started to sink below him. “Stop!” he said, through gasps of pain. “You’re hurting me!”
“Do you think that’s what your mother said before they killed her?” I said, attempting to manipulate his rage just as Laucian would.
His reaction came so swiftly that I didn’t realize he had moved until I was stumbling back. Not this again, I thought, as Yayel stood, his humanity cast aside as monster contained within emerged.
“Calm down,” I said, readying myself as the bestial Yayel leapt to his feet.
The monster that replaced my student took no heed to my words as he crossed the distance between us in a blink of an eye. I caught Yayel as he smashed into me, an unstoppable force and immovable object. Using his momentum against him, I spun, tossing him away. With his catlike-instincts, he torqued his body and catapulted himself from a tree trunk towards me once again. I was caught by surprise as his head struck my chest and threw me backwards, sending me crashing into a tree with a resounding thud.
I was stunned for a moment, my vision blurred. This kid needs to be put in his rightful place, I thought. I was up before he got to me and I caught his throat with my open palm. I then lifted him to the sky and slammed him into the ground with all my might. Dust kicked up around us as Yayel made contact with the ground, the air from his lungs forcefully exhaled. I lifted him once again into the air.
How did this keep happening? I thought as he struggled to bite my hand. I’ve taught him so much about Vitae and the gifts, and yet he still cannot control his rage? This had been the second time this week that Yayel had lost control of his rage, and with each transformation, I had to use more and more force to stop him from ripping me to shreds.
“Submit,” I said, then winced as his nails dug deeply into my skin.
Without hesitation, I threw Yayel down again. I could feel the impact from below my feet as he struck the dirt. I lifted him once again, like a helpless plant being ripped from the ground, feet dangling from under him.
“Give up,” I said as Yayel attempted to kick and squirm his way from his grasp. My fingers began to squeeze, tighter and tighter around his neck as his guttural growls turned to gurgles and chokes. But still Yayel fought on, striking me anywhere vital he could find. I batted the attacks away, determined to wait out this squall from his Fire, squeezing harder with each passing moment. This Fire, child or not, needed to understand its place in the world and I would choke him until it did. I clasped his throat until he was blue in the face, and kept going when his hands dropped uselessly to his sides, and then finally until his legs stopped twitching. I released him and he dropped like a slab of meat.
“Finally,” I said, rubbing the healing wounds around my forearm. The contrast between Yayel’s two states was astounding. I could normally dispatch him with little effort, but when he changed, I had to use all my force to knock him out, only for him to be awake a moment later with little more than discomfort and amnesia. A minute passed. My heart began to pump faster and faster as I realized that Yayel still had not stirred.
“Yayel?” I said as I knelt down, gently turning him to face me.
What have I done? I thought as I checked for breath. I felt nothing from him as I began to panic.
“Yayel!” I screamed, shaking him. “Wake up!”
The boy was unmoving, like a statue.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I softly placed him onto the ground. Is this what my friends meant by “liability”? That I break anything I’m near, friend and foe alike? My pride, my power, this is why I am alone. I was more like the demon I spent the past four years hunting than the father that I tried to avenge.
“It happened again, didn’t it?” Yayel’s voice nearly made me jump out of my skin.
“Yayel!” I cried in surprise. “You’re alive!”
Yayel looked perplexed. “Looks like.”
“Are you alright?” I said, helping him to his feet.
“It feels like I took a baseball to the throat,” he said as he massaged his bruised neck, “but otherwise I’m good.”
We took a break after that, dipping our hot feet into the nearby river. Four years ago, this had been the ravine where my Vitae had first awakened. Life had been breathed into it as the watery snow and rain of the warm season slowly filled the empty basin. Leaves fell from overhanging trees into the river, and were carried against their will downstream. Was life like this, rushing me down to my destiny? I used to believe I could fight against the current of fate, rising above the overwhelming odds all about me. Now I wasn’t so sure.
“You’re getting worse,” I said, deliberately avoiding his eyes. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
“Don’t apologize,” Yayel said, his voice abnormally strained. “I just miss my mother.”
“I know,” I said, staring at the submerged tree. “Laucian will use those things against you, compel you into losing yourself.”
“When I meet that son of a bitch, the only thing he will do is die as I rip him to shreds,” Yayel said darkly, staring into the water. I could hear my own voice as he said this.
I didn’t say anything, or rather, I couldn’t. I was faced with the truth of my present circumstances. Everyone from my father to Lokus to Selene, and now even my friends, had been forced away from me by my selfish lust for power. And Yayel was following in those footsteps. The vengeance we both ca
rried in our veins was a poison for the memory of the people we lost and those we still had.
“Augrais?” Yayel snapped me from my trance with a gentle punch to the arm. “You alright, buddy?”
“Tomorrow I’m taking you back to the Underground Ring,” I said looking at the submerged tree and wondering if this is what my father should have done with me from the start.
“What? Why?” Yayel asked, blinking in shock.
“You deserve a chance to be a better man than I ever could be,” I said.
“Will you come with me?”
I shook my head as I stood. “They wouldn’t take me even if I wanted to go back.”
“I don’t want to go,” Yayel said, looking at me with misty eyes.
I said nothing for a moment while grief tore me apart. Is this why you brought me to this place to begin with, Father? I asked the tree silently. Because you knew the monster I would become?
“Augrais?”
“I’m sorry, Yayel,” I said. “In the past three years since my father died, the only thing I have succeeded in doing is pushing away anyone that I ever cared about. You will not be another casualty to my grief.”
We shared another moment in silence, as I never took my eyes off the tree. The memory of my father and all the others swimming up to the surface of my mind like bubbles of air. My merging of memories and realizations boiled down to one thought: I’m sorry I am not the hero you deserve.
Chapter 19
There was something different about this place as I was floating there, amongst the darkness. Where was I? Hadn’t I fallen asleep near my childhood home? Gravity found me as I was suddenly standing, the dark curling about me like a great snake, so opaque that I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. It was then I heard them—the battle cries, the gunfire—but they seemed so far away. It was like I was hearing the noises through a phone.
“Shit, they’re coming,” I heard a voice I recognized: Ben’s. “I need some help over here!”
“I can’t find you! Where are you?” I cried as I spun around, the gunfire rattling my eardrums. “Ben!”
