by Lexi Blake
She was utterly fascinated with the Barnes-Fleetwood family. They had come into the estate like a hurricane a few days back and she hadn’t stopped laughing since. Between the Barnes-Fleetwood clan and Julian Lodge’s family, the estate was suddenly filled with laughter and baby coos and the craziness that came with kids and family. She’d always longed for a big, insane family. She had been raised as an only child. So had Stef. She wanted to change that for the next generation. She wanted her baby to have a couple of siblings they could rely on. “I don’t think we’re different. You love your kids. I’m going to love this baby.”
She didn’t say the words she was truly worried about. She didn’t say that she was scared that maybe Stef didn’t want their son. She tried not to even think the words.
Jack Barnes was a handsome man, but he was truly beautiful as his face softened and he leaned the ladder against the wall. “Oh, you don’t understand what I mean. We don’t truly understand what it means to be a dad until the baby is here. Men are simple creatures. We start out wanting sex and somewhere along the way we get caught and we find ourselves loving a woman. That one woman who can make us turn away from all the others, well, she becomes our whole damn world. We don’t understand that things can change and yet still remain the same.”
Stef had been her world from almost the moment she’d seen him. She could still remember the minute she’d walked into Stella’s Diner and seen him sitting at the counter. He’d been beautiful. He’d taken her breath away because he was so much more handsome than his pictures. She’d loved his artwork. He was a master, and she’d come to learn from him. And then he’d been a Master and oh, she’d learned more than she could have imagined. She’d learned about love and sex and she’d become something more than she had been before. Her sweet Master who brought her such pleasure, who made her feel precious and beloved, like she was the only woman in the whole world.
Had she lost him? Had he lost interest? Her heart ached at the thought.
“I don’t know about that,” Jen replied. “I think some men like the hunt. Maybe they’re not interested once the hunt is over.”
“Stef? I don’t think that he was much of a hunter.” Barnes shook his head. “The way I remember it, Stef always let the subs come to him. I’ve been to some clubs with the man. Now, I was a helluva lot younger back then, but he never aggressively looked for anyone. He waited until he found someone deeply submissive and then negotiated a single encounter with her. He would negotiate longer contracts, but only rarely and only when the sub seemed to really need a Dom. At first I thought he was in love with Callie, but time proved me wrong.”
Callie Hollister-Wright was Stef’s best friend. There had never even been a hint of romance between them, merely a loving friendship. “No. He views her as a sister.”
“Yeah, I got that after a while. Stef reminds me of myself. I was more about the D/s portion of the relationship than any one woman. I didn’t take any woman seriously until I met that redhead who wears my ring and my collar. I knew she was the one. I knew I wanted to marry her a couple of weeks after I met her.”
A bit of bitterness surged. It had taken her a long time to wear Stef down. “Stef didn’t feel that way about me. He pushed me away at first.”
The big cowboy grinned, a mischievous look. “Stef was a lot younger than I was. There’s a certain wisdom that comes with age. Hell, Stef still isn’t the age I was when I met Abby. It takes some of us longer.”
“Well, I think maybe Stef is wondering if he shouldn’t have taken a bit longer to get married.” He’d pulled away. There were nights when he didn’t go to sleep until almost dawn, as though he tried to stay away from their bed for as long as possible. He would still kiss her, but they were fleeting pecks that did nothing to assuage her desires.
She missed her Dom. She missed her husband.
“He’s not.” Jack glanced back at the long dining room table where his family was enjoying a breakfast. A lovely blonde entered from the opposite door. Dani Lodge-Taylor was escorted by her husbands. Julian Lodge held her hand, looking coolly elegant in a suit. She got the definite impression that Julian only wore suits and leathers. He was that kind of a man. Finn Taylor walked behind him, carrying a baby in his arms. Chloe. She was so sweet. Finn didn’t seem to have a problem with being a dad. Neither did Julian. He was scary, but it was obvious he loved his daughter.
Jack caught Julian’s attention with a wave of his hand. The Dom nodded, helped his wife sit down, kissed his daughter’s head, and then walked toward them.
“Did you have to do that?” She was a little intimidated by the big bad Dom. Julian Lodge had a way of looking at a person that made her wonder if he was sizing her up for a tasty meal.
“He’s nothing but a big old teddy bear,” Barnes assured her.
A grimace marred Julian’s perfect face for a moment. “I am not a teddy bear, Jackson. I still have plenty of teeth. Old age might have dulled your sharper edges, but mine are firmly in place.” He turned to Jennifer and proved how charming he could be. She allowed him to take her hand in greeting. “Hello, dear. Have I thanked you for hosting us? I know it’s an imposition, but we’re enjoying our time here.”
“Not a problem. It’s been nice to have someone to talk to.” She’d definitely enjoyed spending time with their wives and children.
Julian sent Jack a surprised look. “Stefan is screwing it up, then?”
“Looks like it,” Jack agreed. “Julian, tell her how you felt when you first found out Dani was pregnant. Tell her all about how excited you were about the baby and how you knew that the baby was going to change your life for the better.”
Julian shuddered. “I wish I could. The truth is quite different. I was completely terrified. I had no idea how I was going to handle it, but Danielle was quite insistent. Even several spankings couldn’t dissuade her from trying to get pregnant.”
“You didn’t want your daughter?” She couldn’t imagine it. Julian had been tender with the baby. Little Chloe was always held by one of them. She wondered if the baby ever touched a bed by herself.
Julian laughed. “Oh, I wanted her, but I didn’t know I did. When Danielle told me I was going to be a father, all I could feel was a complete panic. My father died when I was very young. I didn’t exactly know how to go about being a father, and then there was the fear of losing her.” His expression turned distinctly serious. “I love my wife. She and Finn were my whole world at the time. I guess I couldn’t imagine things changing.”
“I felt the same way.” Barnes leaned against the doorjamb. “I found out Abigail was pregnant and all I could think about was how it would change everything. We’d only been married for a year or so. I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the thought of children, but like Julian, I didn’t grow up with a father. I was afraid I wouldn’t be a good one. I was afraid something could happen to my wife. Men are different. We don’t get to feel that baby kicking around inside us.”
“Thank god,” Julian said with a grimace.
Jack ignored him. “We don’t understand the parenthood thing until the baby is here and we can hold him in our arms. That’s the moment we truly understand this baby is a whole human being we made with the person we loved. I think it’s worse for us Doms.”
“We feel out of control,” Julian concurred. “Finn handled it far better than I did. I think I got through those nine months because Finn practically held my hand.”
“Sam accepted it. He didn’t fight it at all. He immediately started rubbing Abby’s belly and talking to the baby. He brought me in.” Jack sent a look toward his family. “God, I would have been lost without Sam. Stef doesn’t have a Sam. He doesn’t have a Finn. I’m betting that he’s merely scared of losing his precious wife. He doesn’t have any brothers, does he?”
“He has Max and Rye, but Stef doesn’t talk about a lot of things. He’s a private man.” She’d kept her fears inside her for so long. “I think he doesn’t want me anymore. I’m much
bigger than I used to be.”
Julian shook his head. “She’s going to get a spanking.”
“Damn, girl. I wouldn’t tell your husband that if I were you.” A slow smile crossed his face. “Or maybe you should.”
“Yes, that would very likely bring him around,” Julian agreed. “Though we certainly shouldn’t be telling a submissive to poke her Dom.”
“Sometimes we need a little poke. You know it.” Jack gave her an encouraging nod. “Tell him how you feel. You know communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Sometimes Doms forget and we need our subs to remind us.”
“But then we spank our subs for poking us,” Julian pointed out.
Jack smiled smoothly. “And then we give them many, many orgasms.”
“Oh, that would be nice.” She kind of wished she hadn’t said it out loud, but it was true. It had been forever. She needed her man.
But if she simply went to Stef and told him her fears, he would probably give her a pat on the belly and tell her she was still pretty and he still wanted her and things would go on the way they had been. He would be gentle and not at all like the husband she was crazy about, the one she’d fought for.
Of course, she hadn’t always fought fair. Sometimes an indirect approach was the best plan of action.
“That is a look I know well.” Jack shook his head and sighed. “That’s the look my Abby gets when she’s going to top from the bottom and do it well. Be prepared. Sometimes when you wake the sleeping Dom, your ass gets real tender.”
“But I’ve been told that can be fun. Sometimes a sub has to fight. At the end of the day we can call ourselves submissives and Doms, but we’re just men and women and husbands and wives. It’s no different. Love, I’ve found, requires maintenance. If I could give Leo some advice it would be that. This wedding is only the first step. A marriage, well, that is something entirely different.” Julian frowned as he turned toward the table where everyone was eating breakfast. “Jackson, your son is attempting to feed my daughter. He has got to stop that. I am told that Chase has been talking to Joshua about certain historical handfasting rituals and how he can secure himself a bride in this fashion.”
Barnes’s eyes rolled. “He’s five. Give me a fucking break. He’s not trying to get married.”
“Yes, because the men of his line aren’t known for their singular stubborn will. She can’t eat bacon, Joshua!”
Both men took off for the children, but Jen stayed where she was, an idea forming in her brain.
Sometimes a girl needed to talk to her friends. Who else could she tell her problems to? Who else could come up with a brilliantly evil plan to solve her problems?
Yes, that should do it.
Chapter Two
Aidan, Lexi, and Lucas
Aidan took his seat at the breakfast table across from his hosts. Jamie and Noah ran the Circle G along with two men Aidan knew damn well. Trev McNamara took a long pull off what had to be his third cup of coffee of the morning. If Aidan remembered correctly, it wouldn’t be his last. Trev drank the stuff all day long. Bo, Aidan’s younger brother, sat down beside Trev, a plate of bacon and eggs and hash browns in front of him.
Bo looked good. His brother had truly grown up under Trev’s mentorship and with the love of their shared wife, Beth. He’d gone from an obnoxious brat to a man Aidan could rely on.
He glanced over to where Lexi was pacing outside the kitchen, her cell phone to her ear and a baby on her hip. Little Jack clung to his momma like a monkey. Sometimes Aidan thought the only way to get her attention these days was to be able to climb up her body. Or to be her agent.
“Is Lexi going to come eat? I could make a plate for her.” Bo looked out to the living room, a worried frown on his face.
Lexi’s voice carried through the house. “No, use the second excerpt. Yes, the one where the hero gets in the shower and finds out the heroine is already there. I agree. It’s the best one and it’s not so hot that it will scare off new readers. Twenty-five hundred should be enough. We only need to get through conference season.”
Lucas stepped in, finding Aidan’s eyes and smiling. Until he heard Lexi talking, then those gorgeous lips of his turned down. “I thought we were on vacation.”
Lexi was never on vacation anymore. Since her career had taken off, she’d become a workaholic, and nothing could get her off the phone. Sometimes he wondered how she got any writing done since she was on the phone all the time.
“Her PA called. Apparently she has to get ready for some conference in Denver. She wasn’t supposed to go, but she got invited at the last minute so she’s hustling up books and promo material. She thought we wouldn’t mind since we’re already in Colorado.”
“But Denver is six hours away,” Lucas pointed out. “It’s not like it’s down the street. Are we supposed to rent a car and shove the kids in? Julian’s jet leaves in two days. And we can’t let the ranch run itself. I trust the hands, but you need to be there.”
“I don’t think she expects us to go with her. I think we’re supposed to head home at the appointed time and let her go to Denver on her own.” Aidan stared at his wife. “You know, it’s a really big deal for her.”
Those last words were spoken with a hint of sarcasm. Everything was a big deal now. Everything except him and Lucas.
“What’s a really big deal?” Shelley McNamara walked in looking slightly tired.
Trev had a smile and a big hug for his sister. “You are. How was the bachelorette party?”
“Insane.” A beaming smile came over her face. “Georgia brought the makeup and the booze. I’m now addicted to Chanel and Cîroc. We had makeovers and watched movies and drank too much. It was perfect. But my mother-in-law is a little crazy. I have to meet with someone today who’s going to run some tests to make sure I’m not an alien queen seeking to breed with her sons. I’m worried about what’s going to happen if I flunk that test. She was disturbed that I refused to eat beets. Apparently aliens are allergic to them. I understand because they taste like crap and stain your teeth. I am not getting married with purple teeth.”
Trev grinned at his only sibling. “You have some interesting in-laws, sister. I’ve been lucky. I only have to deal with Aidan.”
A cell phone trilled and Aidan would have sworn that Shelley turned white. She sighed. “It’s my mother-in-law. Again.” She ran her finger across the screen and brought the phone to her ear. “Hello, Cassidy. How are you this morning? What? No. No. You can’t trade my champagne for beet juice. Have you talked to Leo about this? Could you please put him on the phone? If he’s not there then let me talk to Wolf, please.”
She walked off, her voice getting lower.
Shelley’s almost husbands, Leo and Wolf Meyer, had an interesting background. Their mother apparently firmly believed that her sons were half-alien and that someday the queen would come back for them. She and some guy in a trucker hat named Mel had vowed not to let it happen. The citizens of Bliss were taking bets on whether or not the alien queen would show up to gather her mates.
It was the kind of thing that Lexi used to love.
Before all she did was work.
Lucas sat down beside him. His lips curled up slightly, and Aidan felt his hand slide under the table, over Aidan’s thigh. It was a sweet intimacy he needed, but then Lucas always seemed to know what he needed. “Sweet baby girl is still sleeping.”
Their baby. Daphne. She had Lucas’s coloring. There was no doubt in Aidan’s mind that little Jack was his, but somehow he was fascinated with the baby who didn’t look anything like him. When he stared down at that precious girl, his whole heart melted. If Jack was his mini-me, then Daphne was all Lucas and Lexi. He couldn’t wait to see her running around the ranch with a head full of wild black hair and a smile that could bring him to his knees.
He had it all. He had his girl and his guy and his kids. The only problem was his girl always seemed to be on the phone or at her computer.
“I’m glad. She had
a long night.” Daphne had been off the breast for three weeks and she still needed a nighttime feeding. Aidan liked to do it. It was just him and his daughter in the quiet of the night. He could stare down at her and she would stare back and they were so connected. He doubted she had his DNA, but she owned his soul.
She and her brother and their parents. They were his whole world.
Lucas’s hand tightened on his leg, making his cock twitch. Lucas was the one who sought him out in the middle of the day. Lucas worked from home now, having turned Aidan’s old crappy office into something truly elegant and beautiful. At least twice a week, Aidan could count on Lucas’s sex drive. Lucas would show up wherever Aidan was and they would throw down hard. They’d done it in fields and in the pond behind the house, in the barn and in the pickup truck Aidan had been driving.
It seemed like the longer Lexi held out on the both of them, the rougher he and Lucas got with each other. He still had bruises from the last time, and he coveted each and every one. They were proof someone still wanted him.
They both missed their wife.
“Okay. I’ll see you there.” Lexi hung up the phone and walked into the room, a harried smile on her face. “Sorry,” she said to the room. She shifted Jack on her hip. “Work is never done.”
He needed to take control. Somewhere along the way, he’d lost it and he was having a hard time taking it back. “Come and sit down and have some breakfast. You only have a few hours until you’re supposed to be out at the Talbot estate.”
Her face tightened, lips turning down. There was a small reception for the ladies this afternoon while the men were going up the mountain to a party thrown for them. Lexi had promised him she would attend. “I want to go, but I might have to skip it.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t. I already have a sitter for Daphne and Jack.”
Bo grinned. “Little Jack and I are going to hang out and play. Trev and I are skipping the men’s party. We would rather hang out here with the kids and keep an eye on Beth.”
