“Oh yeah, I remember seeing the previews for it a while back. It did look pretty good. Anything else? Maybe something adult rated for me and you later on?” He teases and kisses me on the cheek.
“I don’t think Redbox has those kinds of movies. Besides, who needs movies like those when I’ve got you?” I offer my best flirty smile and wink at him.
“Be back in a bit.” He reaches down to pull back my robe but I’m too quick for him. “Dang it, I just wanted to see if you had anything on underneath that thing.”
I clean off the table and load the dishwasher. From the looks of the kitchen, Todd and the girls did a really good job of cleaning up as they were cooking so it doesn’t take long to finish up. I turn off the main lights and head back to the bedroom. The house is really quiet so I turn on the TV to fill the void. A baseball game is on but I don’t pay any attention to the teams that are playing. Men and their sports channels, I think to myself. I’ll take a book any day over television.
I grab my tablet again and decide to read some more of the book I started earlier.
Chapter 5
Brian
July 2nd
It’s been two days now since I sent the message to Jennifer. No lie, I’ve probably checked my email a hundred times hoping to hear back from her. In the back of my mind, I know there’s the possibility she may not even read it at all. Heck, who knows how often she checks her email? For all I know, it could just be an account set up that’s gone unused. Or, I shudder at the thought, she could’ve seen my name as the sender and deleted it immediately, refusing to read anything from me. After all, it has been years since I’ve had any contact with her.
Grace noticed my frustration yesterday and asked me if everything was okay. She was concerned something with my father had worsened, and I guess in some ways, it had. Each day that passed was one day he went without knowing about Chloe. It’d be so much easier if I knew Jennifer had read the email and was considering my request, but the not knowing is killing me.
While I really want my parents to know, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to set them up for disappointment if I can’t get through to Jennifer. It’s one thing to tell them about Chloe but to be able to introduce her to them is completely different.
“Brian?” I hear Grace call my name and I turn around. I’ve been sitting in my computer chair for hours, constantly refreshing my email.
“What?” I snap and as soon as the word leaves my mouth I feel horrible. “I’m sorry, Grace. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”
I see the hurt expression on her face and stand up from my chair to reach out for her. To my surprise, she pulls back.
“I don’t know what’s bugging you, but you know you can talk to me. I am your wife, you know.” I detect the resentment in her voice and know I deserved it.
“Look, I’m just …” I trail off and sit back down in my chair. I lower my head in the palms of my hands, then run my fingers through my hair. I’m at a complete loss. What do I do?
Grace places her hand on my shoulder and gently tries to pull me back. “Brian, what’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something. I know I should’ve gotten with you first… before I did it.” I can tell by the look on Grace’s face that she’s confused and not following me.
“I’m waiting. What have you done, Brian?”
I’m quiet for a moment, not sure where to start.
“I sent my ex-wife an email,” I blurt out. “About Chloe. About my dad.”
Grace leans down and wraps her arms around me. I take a deep breath, relieved to finally get it off my chest. I let her hold me for a minute.
“Well, have you heard back? Is this what has you so out of sorts tonight?”
“No, I sent it two days ago. I know I should’ve had you read over it, but I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Wake me? What do you mean?” Grace looks confused.
“I had trouble sleeping so I got up after we’d gone to bed. Ever since we got the information from Mr. Steadman, I’ve been going over in my head things I wanted to say. I just needed to send it before it was too late. Before something happened to my dad. I don’t know what I’d do if…”
“Honey, it’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over this.” Grace consoles me and I try to remain hopeful. “But it’s not helping that you keeping looking over at your messages. We don’t know for sure if she’s going to reply.”
“I know. But I’d hate knowing I didn’t read it, you know, as soon as she sent it.”
“It could be days or even weeks,” Grace hesitates. “Or, you might not hear from her at all.”
I know she’s right. I may never hear anything from Jennifer and all of this could be for nothing.
Brady begins to cry and I stand up from the chair. He’s been napping for a while so I’m sure he’s ready to get up. Not to mention, he needs a diaper changing, too. “Let me get him. Maybe spending some quality time together will take my mind off things,” I tell Grace and leave the room.
I can’t lose focus on my own family right now.
****
After getting Brady changed, I decide to take him to the park. There’s one a few blocks from our house and I feel like spending some father-son time with him.
Rather than carry him since he’s still not very good at walking yet, I put him in the umbrella stroller we keep in the hall closet. It’s much easier to maneuver than the bigger, fold-up one we generally keep in the back of Grace’s SUV. Out on the front lawn, Grace hands Brady a sippy cup of juice and a plastic container with goldfish crackers. She also hands me a bottled water, then reaches out to rub my arm.
“It’s going to be alright, Brian. I think you did the right thing.”
I look into Grace’s green eyes and hope she’s right.
I push Brady to the end of the driveway and look both ways before crossing the road. Hopefully, spending this time with him will help clear my head. It’s hard to believe Brady is already a year old. Before you know it, he’ll be starting school, then dating girls. I really need to stop. One thing is certain, I will not take my time with him for granted. Not ever. I know, firsthand, how it feels to miss out on every single thing in a child’s life.
When we get to the park, I unhook the safety belt and he toddles over to the sandbox. Why do kids enjoy the sand so much?
Before long, it’s all in his sandals, then his hair. Hopefully, he won’t try to eat any this time. I sit on one of the benches a few feet away and pull out my phone. As tempting as it is to check my email from it, I remain strong. Instead, I dial my mom’s number and hope she’s had a fairly easy day with dad. She picks up on the second ring.
“Hello?” she says, struggling to catch her breath. Immediately, I know something’s not right.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” I scream into the phone.
“Oh Brian, it’s just been another one of those grueling days. I thought I could leave your dad alone long enough to take a shower, but as soon as I closed the bathroom door, he started calling for me. He can’t stand to have me out of his sight. He’s been in so much pain today and the nurse says if he gets any worse, I may have to take him to the emergency room.”
“Mom, I’m so sorry. I know you’re doing everything you can for him. I won’t keep you on the phone long, I just wanted to check in.”
I hear my father’s muffled cries in the background and figure she must be in front of him. As bad as I hate to admit it, I almost wish she’d consider putting dad in some kind of assisted living facility because he’s mentally and physically draining her—she’s beyond worn out. But I also know the money isn’t there to take care of doing that, either. They’d have to sell pretty much everything they owned just to pay for it and even then it might not be enough to cover the expense.
“Brian, I need to go. Your father’s bed sheets need changing and if I don’t change them soon, there’s going to be an even bigger mess to clean up.”
“Mom, I’m at the park with Brady,
but as soon as we get back home, I’m going to come over and help you. You need a break.” I know Grace is probably going to have dinner ready, but I need to be there for my mom.
I let Brady play a bit longer then push him in the swings for a few minutes. It’s such a joy standing in front of him as I push him back and forth. His smile is gigantic—he’s such a happy kid. His giggles fill the air, warming my heart. His blonde hair lifts in the breeze created by his swinging and it’s so hard to believe this is my boy. After all of my wrong doings, God allowed me to have a son.
I pull out my phone again and take a quick photo. I send the shot over to Grace before putting it away. I can never have enough pictures of Brady. My mind drifts back to the photo of Chloe and I wonder if the two of them look anything alike when she was this age.
Even though there’s still plenty of daylight left, we head on back to the house. I tell Grace about my recent chat with mom and how I told her I’d come over to give her a hand.
“I know there’s not a whole lot I can do, but if she can at least take a shower, I know she’ll feel a little better.”
“I’ll just fix something lite for Brady and me then. Call me when you start to head back and I’ll have something ready for you.”
I lean over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I don’t want to put you through any trouble. I’ll just swing by a fast food place and grab something. I’d hate for you to go to any trouble especially if it’s late.”
I change into another pair of shorts and slip on a polo. I don’t think mom would mind me wearing my comfortable, slightly stained t-shirt, but I never know when the hospice nurse may stop by. I’d hate for her to think how unkempt I look. I grab my keys, kiss Grace again, and head out the door.
“Hopefully I won’t be too late,” I call out to her.
“Take your time. We’ll be fine.”
Not sure why, but I catch myself speeding on the way to my parent’s house. I guess I’m just anxious to get there. I slow down when I realize it, not wanting to get stopped by the police. I’ve not had any run-ins with the authorities for several years, and I’d like to keep it that way. There for a while, it seemed like I had a constant target on my back. Spending time in jail is not something I ever want to do again. It’s a part of my life I wish I could forget.
That last stunt I pulled that put me in jail for quite some time was the final straw for me. There are too many things in life that you let pass you by when you are caught up in doing stupid, irresponsible stuff all the time. It took a while for my attorney to get my record cleared enough just so I could teach. I’m really glad I decided to pursue a degree in education because if I can help make a difference in just one kid’s life, hopefully it will keep them from getting into trouble and being on the streets. I know firsthand all too well what that life was like.
As I pull into the driveway I get the strangest feeling something’s not right. The house is dark with no lights on inside. I don’t bother knocking, I just call out to my mom as I make my way inside.
“Mom, I’m here.”
I don’t hear anything at first, then I make out the sound of someone struggling. I go to the back bedroom where my father is and I panic when I see both of them on the floor. My father must have tried to get up or something and fell, taking my mom down with him.
“Honey, thank God.” My mom strains to get her words out. Without a doubt, she’s in severe pain.
“Mom, what happened?” I ask as I try to help lift my father. He’s on top of her leg and I can tell by the way she winces that something’s not right—I hope that when he fell he didn’t hurt her.
I try to get him to put his arms around my neck so I can heave him up but it’s no use. He doesn’t have the strength to hold on. I lean him up against the bed and try to comfort him as best I can by giving him a pillow to lay back on. My mom is able to slide over but there’s no way she’s able to stand—the pain is too severe. It’s just as I feared, I think she may have broken her leg.
I go over to the bedside table and scroll down the list of phone numbers for hospice. I place the call to a nurse, explain to her what’s happened, and wait while she transfers me to a 9-1-1 operator. An ambulance is dispatched and it’s only a matter of time until help is on the way. I feel so bad for them both. First my dad, now my mom. Thank goodness I told her I would come over or they both would have lain in the floor in agonizing pain for God knows how long.
Within minutes, I hear the sound of sirens, and I tell my mom I’m going to the porch to meet the paramedics. Her tear-stained face looks hopeful but I know she’s upset knowing both of them are probably going to be spending the night in the hospital. And if her leg really is broken, it’s just one more thing to add to what we’re already struggling with.
The paramedics load my dad up on the stretcher and begin asking me questions about his condition. I try to keep my composure as I tell them everything. He’s going downhill quick. And my poor mother. She’s done everything she can do.
A separate ambulance comes for my mom and I decide to drive behind it in my own vehicle rather than ride along. I grab my mom’s purse since she keeps all of their medical information inside then lock up the house, making sure everything is shut off. On the way to the hospital, I pull out my phone and call Grace.
“Hey, babe. How are your parents?” she asks without even saying hello. It’s as though she senses trouble.
“I’m on my way to the hospital,” I explain, my voice surprisingly calm. I give her a condensed version of what I walked in on when I arrived at the house and tell her not to wait up for me. I could be at the hospital all night. I know they’ll admit my father and I’m fairly certain if my mom’s leg is broken, they are going to keep her as well. Hopefully it’s not a bad break and she won’t require surgery.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come sit with you?” Grace asks. “I can get a sitter for Brady.”
“I’ll be okay. There’s no sense in trying to find someone on such short notice.”
“Call me as soon as you know something.”
“I will.” I end the call just as I’m pulling into the parking lot at the hospital.
No matter what I do, nothing can compare to what I’m about to face.
Chapter 6
Grace
July 2nd
I shut off my phone and place it on the table beside me. I feel so bad for Brian right now. It’s a good thing he’s out of school for the summer but what are we going to do if things don’t get any better for his parents by the time school starts back up again?
I decided to take the easy route tonight and fixed chicken nuggets for Brady. I cut up some of them for a salad for myself and placed the others back in the refrigerator for later.
Brady must have had a really good time at the park earlier this afternoon because it’s taking all he can do to keep his head up while he eats. I know these are a favorite of his, but he keeps nodding off with pieces of chicken clenched in his hands. Poor thing looks exhausted.
Rather than give him a bath, when he’s done eating, I change his diaper and put him straight to bed. He still sleeps in his crib, but Brian and I have talked about getting him a toddler bed. Maybe for Christmas we’ll surprise him with one of those that resembles a race car. He’d love that! I leave the door cracked so I can hear him although I’m pretty sure he’s out for the night.
I wash and put away the little bit of dishes I used and head back to our spare bedroom. I figure I might as well get online and pay a few bills while it’s fresh on my mind. With Brian being gone, it’ll help pass the time. When I’m done, I glance at our email. He and I share the same account, just so it’s easier to keep up with. It’s ridiculous how much spam we get and I immediately start deleting everything that doesn’t look important. Then it dawns on me about the message Brian sent to his ex-wife, Jennifer.
I know Brian was a little hesitant telling me about it at first, but I know he would’ve gotten around to telling me eventually. That’s
one thing I can say about him—he doesn’t do well hiding things from me. Not that he’s ever really hidden big secrets from me, but I know he dealt with a lot of personal issues early on.
He’s a good man now, despite all the hardships he went through when we started dating, and I’m proud to call him my husband. We all make mistakes in our life, it’s just some of us don’t ever learn from them. Brian had his moments, based on all the stories he shared with me, but I’m thankful that’s all part of the past. He deserved to have another chance.
Sadly, there’s not a reply back from Jennifer and I feel even sorrier for him. He desperately wants to make this connection with her so he can tell his parents about Chloe and hopefully have the chance to meet her before his father passes. Before I realize what I’m doing, I click on the sent folder, and there it is, the message Brian sent to Jennifer. At first I feel bad about reading it since it’s personal, almost like I’m snooping, but I know Brian would want me to. In fact, he even mentioned something about it, but sent it anyway before I got up.
I stare at both of email addresses before reading any further. I ask myself if I’m ready for this. Am I ready for Brian to have contact with Jennifer after all this time? After all, her family isn’t the only one being affected by this. So is ours. Am I ready for the challenges that lie ahead because Brady won’t be Brian’s primary focus anymore?
I scroll down, reading each word carefully. I can tell Brian spent a fair amount of time typing it and clearly explaining everything. By the time I’m finished, tears are pouring down my face. Being a mother, how can she not consider what he’s asking? The man poured his heart out to her.
I reread his message one more time. I’m so proud of my husband. I have to wonder how many men—being in a similar situation and with a similar past—would take this same initiative. I commend Jennifer’s husband for taking Brian’s daughter in, adopting her and raising her as his own. I can see where this might have been difficult for him, knowing that someday Brian might resurface. It certainly wasn’t Chloe’s fault.
Heart of the Matter (Coming Home Book 3) Page 5
