She shook her head as she reached out to him. “Kiss me, Ian.”
His eyes rounded. “What?”
“I . . . I don’t want to die without having been kissed.” She smiled as mist welled in her eyes, blurring her vision. “I always knew you’d be my first real kiss.”
“No, Claire. Don’t talk like that. You’re not going to die. You’re going to be fine.”
She couldn’t read his face, but at the moment, she didn’t care what he was thinking. This time, she intended to take what she wanted. The pain in her leg remained a dull ache, one she could ignore.
Unwilling to take a chance and wait any longer, she pulled his mouth down to hers. Instead of resistance like she’d expected, Ian met her and crushed her lips to his. The sensation was much better than she had expected.
Sliding her arms further around his neck, she drew him closer until she felt the welcoming warmth of his chest against hers.
She gasped at the sizzling contact, and Ian used the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. After a second to overcome from the shock, she matched his motions and moaned as desire shot through her. She couldn’t get enough of him.
As their mouths devoured each other, she gave in to temptation and wound her hands through his hair. The strands were exactly as silky as she anticipated. Everything about him was perfect, and only made her want him more.
When he pulled his lips from hers, she gasped for air, but his attention didn’t stop. He licked and sucked at her neck until she didn’t think she could take it any longer. Her most private place throbbed, and the urge to press herself against him overwhelmed her. Frustration gnawed at her, and she couldn’t hold back her whimper.
Ian’s hands trailed down her shoulder and lightly grazed her breast. The touch sent a wave of pleasure sailing through her body. She’d never imagined anything like this. When his hand closed over her breast, leaving only the thin layer of her chemise separating them, she thought she would expire.
As he shifted, his leg moved between hers and pressed against her throbbing core. She gasped. The contact sent a rush of pleasure through her body and had her wanting to be closer to him still. So, this was what becoming a woman was about. It was worth the wait.
“Ian,” she breathed, loving the feel of his name on her lips.
He snatched his hand back as if he’d reached into a fire. With a horrified expression on his face, he looked down at her as he pulled back to sit beside her.
“I’m so sorry.” He thrust his hand through his hair, managing to smooth it down in a more proper fashion.
Unwilling to let him go, to end this, she ran her eyes down to his still bare chest. His beautiful chiseled face and perfect body reminded her of a Greek statue. She wanted him to kiss her again.
“Please, say something,” he pleaded. “I didn’t mean . . . well . . . will you forgive me?”
She pulled herself up to sit beside him. His mouth was only inches from hers and had her mesmerized. She leaned even closer to him. How could he apologize for something so wonderful?
“There is nothing to forgive.” Her voice sounded low, sensual. She kind of liked it.
Ian cleared his throat. “Stop looking at me like that or there will be.”
“Promise?”
Feeling bold, she reached out to touch his face, but he quickly got to his feet. The idea that she made him, a rake, uncomfortable would have been laughable had it not hurt her so much. She was obviously not the right type of girl for him.
She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging her sides. Lying with her, just now, had been given as a favor to her, a friendly gesture, not an admission of his desire for her. With her throat tightening, she struggled to control her sorrow.
“How are you feeling?” He tugged into his sodden shirt, covering the glorious expanse of muscular flesh.
The question caught her off guard until she moved her legs and remembered the snakebite. She hadn’t died. Clearly, kissing Ian provided an antidote for a snake’s poison.
“My leg burns a little, but other than that,” . . . and the lust pounding through her body, she silently added . . . “I am well.”
He sighed and a smile tickled the corner of his mouth. “Not an adder bite then. We were lucky this time, but you need to take better care in the future.”
How could the man who’d kissed her so passionately, touched her so intimately, now scold her like a child? It made her want to erase those delicious memories of becoming a woman from her mind. Anger pounded through her, forcing her to her feet.
“You have no right to tell me how to conduct myself. I spent two days watching my every step. How was I to know the one small lapse would incur the wrath of a snake?”
Ian glanced down, as if just taking in her state of undress. She wanted to feel uncomfortable in her dishevel, but she couldn’t. Not with him. Not now. Not after what they’d shared together.
“I’m sorry, Claire. It’s just . . . the thought of something bad happening to you makes me a little crazy.”
Against her better judgment, she let her anger go. She couldn’t remain mad at him. Since the beginning of this disaster, he’d done nothing but be understanding and helpful.
“Come on. Let’s get dressed and find a way home.”
He nodded, then turned to collect his belongings. Staring at his muscled body, her heart stuttered inside her chest. How would she survive this trip without losing her heart to him?
She didn’t think she could withstand him ripping it out and stomping on it. Not again.
Chapter 3
For the second time, Ian awoke with his body in a painfully uncomfortable state. Claire lay draped across him in the same intimate way she’d been yesterday. He held his breath at the feeling of her fingers sliding down his chest. When he settled back, she pressed herself tighter against him, and he realized she was still asleep.
The intimacy of the moment caught him off guard. Would this be how it would feel to be married to her? The idea of waking up with her like this in his bed appealed to him.
Her hand moved down his chest again and when she grazed the top of his breeches, he felt himself lengthen. He cursed his body. He had no right to take pleasure in her unintentional caresses.
“Claire,” he called softly, knowing he’d allowed this to go on too long. “Wake up.”
She lifted her head to look at him, there was no indication of sleep in her eyes. “I didn’t know you were awake.”
“Were you?”
Her answering blush brought confusion to his still foggy brain.
He frowned. “Then, why were you doing that?”
To his surprise, she settled her head back against him, making no sign that she planned to move off his now overheated body. He wasn’t sure where this side of her had come from. He also couldn’t decide if he liked it or not.
“I enjoy your warmth,” she answered as if it were the most natural response. “I also noticed when I move my fingers like this, it makes you do strange things. Why?”
Sucking in a breath at her caress, he tried to ignore his reaction. “What strange things? I’ve been asleep.”
“Truly? How fascinating.”
“What are you talking about?” Irritation seeped into his words, but she didn’t seem to care.
“The bulge in your breeches.” She blinked up at him. “It grows.”
Stunned, Ian set her away from him and got up, more rapidly than he’d ever left a woman’s bed before. Embarrassment stung his face as he paced in front of her. Dear God. She’s an innocent and shouldn’t have noticed such a thing.
“You must not say things like that.”
She leaned back on her hands, forcing the fabric of her dress to stretch against her breasts. His mouth watered. She had no idea what she was doing to
him.
“Why not?” she demanded. “I’m not an innocent any longer.”
He choked on the saliva in his mouth, and as a result, had a coughing fit. Not an innocent? Her questions betrayed her statement. Clearly, the lack of a mother figure left her lacking in her education.
“What makes you believe that?”
A blush touched her cheeks, and he couldn’t hold back a smile. She couldn’t be more appealing. Right now, he would love nothing more than to show her exactly what it meant to not be an innocent.
“Yesterday we . . . or rather, you touched me, quite intimately, while we were not properly dressed. You pressed your body against me, and that kiss. It wasn’t a brotherly one.” She licked her lips. “I never thought it could be like that.”
Ian shifted. If she thought the bulge in his breeches was noteworthy before, his current state certainly would peak her curiosity. At the moment, he was torn between dropping the subject, telling her the truth, or showing her exactly what she wanted to know.
Clearing his throat, he attempted to calm his raging body. “Kissing, and the rest of what occurred between us, doesn’t in any form relieve you of your . . . innocence.”
Her brow furrowed as she sat forward. “Then, what does?”
“Enough. This conversation is improper. Besides, we are wasting valuable light. We should move on.”
With an emphatic sigh, she got to her feet. “Very well. Maybe we can find some more pears, then you can tell me—over breakfast.”
Before he had a chance to respond, she strode toward the stream they had decided to follow yesterday. As she bent over the water to take a drink, he turned away. He had to get ahold of himself. Being so close to her like this was wreaking havoc on his control. Unfortunately, there would be no release for him.
“What is wrong with you today?” Claire’s voice sounded much closer to him than he realized.
“Nothing.” At a snail’s pace, he swiveled his body to face her, then cocked his head. “The lack of sleep must be affecting me more than I thought.”
Concern passed through her eyes, and she touched his arm. “I’m sorry. Have I been disturbing you?”
He gulped. “Don’t worry yourself. As soon as we return to London, I will be back to normal.”
“Is there nothing to be done for you before then?” Her eyes held a tinge of alarm.
Here she was, only wanting to help him, and his mind could think of nothing other than ravishing her. Needing to distance himself from her, he offered her a cocky grin. “You miss my charming self already?”
She rolled her eyes, but didn’t move away. “Maybe.”
“Then, for your sake, I shall try harder.”
With that, he sidestepped her and took off for the stream. He really needed a dip in the cold water, but didn’t want to waste the time—or chance that Claire would choose to join him. With the way she was acting, he couldn’t predict what she might do. And, he’d proven he couldn’t trust himself.
He needed to get Claire back home. Once she was settled in the safety of her father’s house, he would then court her. She deserved a man who would treat her right, and he intended to become that person—for her. He only hoped she would accept him.
Claire took a deep breath, then took Ian’s hand and forced herself to ignore the spark at their contact as he helped her across the stagnant puddle. Since their interaction this morning, he’d been quiet and focused on their trek. That left her with too much time to think.
Did he think her wanton? After believing he’d removed her innocence, touching him after that moment hadn’t seemed to be improper. Now, however, the thought brought heat to her cheeks. Her thoughtless action had alienated her from Ian. She swallowed, feeling alone.
As soon as she cleared the mud, Ian released her hand and moved away, as if he couldn’t wait to be rid of her. Her heart sank further.
“Do you think Lord Higgins will still have me?”
Ian stopped so fast, she nearly plowed into his back. Again. “What? Why would you ask that?”
“Because, I’ve been considering my options, and I need to look to my future.”
“But, just two days ago, you told me the two of you wouldn’t suit. What has changed?”
Taking a deep breath, Claire turned from the accusation in his eyes. “It is past time I grew up. Lord Higgins will make anyone a fine husband.”
“What about what you want? Your desire to travel will not go away.”
“Maybe this,” she spread her arms out to encompass the forest “is a sign that I’m not meant for an adventurous life. After one simple trip to the country, I’ve been sentenced to this.”
“This means nothing. Just unfortunate circumstances.”
She turned back around and walked the few steps toward him. For as long as she’d known him, he had tried to protect her. The perfect big brother. However, he couldn’t fix this. Not this time.
“Be realistic. I’m nineteen years old, have been missing for two nights, and I’m alone with a man. I’d be lucky to have Lord Higgins.”
He dropped his eyes and when he looked back at her, his jaw was tight, determination flared in his eyes. She caught her breath, knowing what thoughts could be parading through his mind. Needing to distance herself from what he could say, she took a step back.
“He isn’t your only option. There’s always me.”
Desperate to keep it light, she snorted. “I’m sure that’s the best choice.”
The sarcasm in her voice echoed between them, and he winced. She hadn’t wanted to hurt his pride, but she wouldn’t allow him to sacrifice himself for her. It was her turn to protect him.
“It is, but not only that, it’s the proper thing to do. I would make you happy, Claire. I would—”
“Stop.” She put up a hand, desperate to keep him from admitting she was only an obligation. “You’re wrong. That isn’t the proper thing to do. This situation isn’t your fault, and therefore, there is no reason for you to be forced to fix it.”
“I don’t recall being forced to do anything.” The self-assured gleam she’d grown to love was back in his eyes.
“This is pointless. I refuse to marry a man simply to save my reputation.”
“Isn’t that what you’d be doing with Lord Higgins?”
“No. He wanted me before, so his motivations are pure. This decision is mine, and I won’t be coerced into marriage.”
He stood staring at her, hands clenched at his side, but she remained firm. At one time Ian had been the only man she could see herself marrying, but everything was different now. Her heart claimed it still held true, but she refused to tie herself to any man who offered out of pity.
“Very well. I will keep my coercion to myself. However, I still believe you are making a mistake with Lord Higgins.”
“Believe what you will, as long as we keep moving. With my luck, Lord Higgins could be declaring his undying affection for someone else this very second. Then, where would I be?”
Suddenly, Ian grabbed her hand and clutched it to his chest, drawing her closer. “I will fix this, Claire. Somehow, you will be free of this. Free to make your own choice. Free to choose . . . the perfect man for you.”
She caught her breath at his declaration. His eyes bored into her as if communicating a deeply held secret. When his lips moved closer, panic snaked up her throat. She turned away. If he kissed her now, she’d throw herself at him, obligation or not.
With the words of him offering himself to her burning in her mind, tears pricked the back of her eyes. Rejecting him had been one of the hardest things she’d done, to date. He didn’t belong to her, and now, never would. She would not be at liberty to enjoy his kiss, ever again.
Freeing her hand from his grasp, she cleared her throat. “Come, let’s keep mov
ing or you’ll never be able to make good on your promise.”
He nodded and offered a sad smile before moving back toward the path they’d begun. As she watched his back, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Not only had she rejected his suit, but she had rejected his kiss as well.
It was too late to go back and remove his sadness, but she intended to make it up to him. When this ordeal finally ended, she would repay him in some way. That was, if they ever reached civilization.
Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t noticed Ian had stopped walking until she heard his sharp intake of breath.
Peering around his shoulder, her heart skipped a beat. In front of them, a tree had been shot with two arrows. They stuck out in such a way they formed an X.
“Are we in danger?” she whispered as she moved closer to him.
He shook his head. “No. I’ve seen this before.”
Hope rose and her chest quivered. “Are you certain?”
Excitement bubbled at the smile he shot her. “Let’s find out.”
As if propelled with a newfound energy, Claire followed him through the brush. Their surroundings looked the same, no different. Would he find what he sought, or was he simply getting them further lost? This time without the river.
When they came up upon another tree with identical arrows, Claire did a double take. Could they have traveled in a circle?
“I knew it,” Ian exclaimed. “We are not far from my godmother’s home. Her son, Lord Starsen, and I marked this path when we were boys.”
“Does this mean we are saved?” Her voice trembled.
“Normally, we made this trek through the forest on horseback.” He shook his head. “We were stupid and liked the challenge. Regardless, I can have us to the hunting cabin, or maybe the manor, by nightfall—depending on where we are in the course.”
Embracing the Knight Page 4
