He threw the phone on his desk in disgust and went upstairs to look for some gin. All he found was light beer and cheap rum.
It would have to do.
Fucking Cass. How dare she. And how dare she be right. This was better for Penny anyway.
She deserved to be free to go find herself some cashmere-turtleneck-wearing supermodel cardiothoracic surgeon who had made more of himself than getting really good at a low-paying hobby.
And Nick… well, Nick would be free to get really fucking drunk. And to know that for at least a few weeks, he’d known heaven.
Chapter 11
Penny tried for the third time to get the curve of the wing on the green dragon right. Nearly everything about him had come together, but for some reason this one wing just hated her. She eased the stylus along the digital tablet, drawing it into the computer for the dozenth time. Hmm, closer, but still no cigar. She made a new layer and tried again, screwing up her nose at the obstinate creature.
This was way better than that stupid exam. Just a few more, plus the CPA exam, and she’d be free of this nonsense. Well, not exactly. She’d be free of tests—but then have to pursue some path full-time. Nothing was certain but death and taxes—doubly so for her. The thought slumped her shoulders. Hmm, where was that chocolate she’d left somewhere around here?
At least in her spare time she could play with dragons like these. And she had someone supportive like Nick to appreciate them. She straightened up in her seat and made another go at the wing.
A few minutes later, her phone vibrated on the desk beside her.
Sorry, can’t make it tonight.
Penny stared down at the text. It didn’t even sound like something Nick would write. Had somebody stolen his phone? What the hell?
What is it? she wrote back. Something wrong?
But even as she asked it, she knew, deep down, that something was very wrong. She just didn’t know what.
More than a quarter of an hour passed, but no response came.
She pushed the stylus and the tablet away as her gut churned. It didn’t make any sense. He’d never canceled anything with her before, let alone at the last minute. She tried texting again.
Did something happen? Just worried. Was it something I said? Feeling ok?
Nothing.
About halfway through the lonely, unnaturally long evening, she started texting Anka, but her friend had no more answers than she did.
Penny tried one more time at bedtime. Then again the next morning, despite the black hole yawning wide in her gut that something was seriously, seriously wrong.
Good morning, handsome. Miss you.
The text eventually was marked as read, but no response came.
Her heart just about cracked in two.
By Sunday, Penny was a red-eyed, snotty, anxious mess. While she and Cass had baked a full batch of cupcakes on Wednesday for that weekend’s community bake sale in Cass’s cul-de-sac, Penny had tried a bit of baking therapy. She’d had too many unwanted hours suddenly free on the weekend—and now she had two dozen brownies and a score of rice crispy treats to donate to the sale as well.
Which was good, because if she ate them all, no amount of walking around her neighborhood would burn that much off.
She also couldn’t stand her dreadful, silent, empty apartment anymore. It was too much a ghost, a shell of what had been.
He was everywhere.
Mittens and boots deposited in the elegant, high-ceilinged foyer, Penny unwound her pale gray scarf as she dropped into one of Cass’s delicate white kitchen chairs.
“I just don’t know what could have happened.” The words bubbled out of her, almost before she intended to say anything. Or bring up the subject. “Wait—where’s Lyle Jr.?”
“He’s napping.” Cass set the brownies on the counter with a smile. “For once.”
“Oh, that’s good.” She shrugged out of her coat now as well. “But you’ve gotta understand. He’s never done this before. I don’t understand it. Anka doesn’t either, or Violet. But he won’t respond to my texts and explain! Does this mean we’re breaking up?”
“What a jerk.” Cass scowled as she drifted over to settle in the chair across from Penny. “To just drop you like that. Do you want some tea? Would that help?”
“Sure. But Cass, he’s not a jerk. He’s one of the kindest men I know. I can’t understand it. It’s not like him.”
Her sister rose and hit the button on the electric teapot beside her plant-adorned kitchen window. “Look, sis, I know he means a lot to you, being your first major boyfriend and all. But there’ll be others.”
“Others?” Penny blinked. “I don’t want others. I want him.”
“I dated a lot of guys before I met Lyle. I know the first one always seems really great. Like you’ll never get over them or find anyone better. But then you do. You will.” She shrugged as she returned to sit at the table while the kettle worked its magic. “The pain goes away eventually.”
“It’s only been a few days, Cass. I don’t want your advice on how to get over him, I want your advice on how to get him back. Or at least to respond to my texts.”
“I thought you came to visit and drop off baked goods.”
“Only because I’m in a state of emotional catastrophe.”
Cass grimaced. “Who says you need him back?”
“I do.” Penny set her jaw, eyes fixed on the table. There had to be something she could do. There just had to be.
“I just mean, maybe you’re better off without him.”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“He’s still young, still struggling in his career—”
“So? Who isn’t, at my age?”
“Lots of people. Besides, why limit yourself to people your age?”
“Cass, why are you trying to talk me out of this? I don’t want out of this.”
“Next week, with a little distance from him, you might not feel so bad.”
Penny groaned. “You are no help at all.”
Cass pressed her lips together. “Frankly, Penny, he seems pretty determined to pursue a career that will never pay off. Don’t you think that’s a little juvenile? Irresponsible? Selfish even? If you’re really thinking about this man for the long term, are you sure you want to shackle yourself to someone who can’t hold up their end of the family bargain? He’ll never be able to provide for you.”
“I didn’t realize you’re an expert on professional photography markets now.”
“You’ll always be supporting him. Is that what you want?”
“I don’t need to go your path, Cass. I don’t need someone to provide for me.” Or want it, either.
“Money doesn’t grow on—”
Penny smacked a palm on the table. “Damn it, I know that. That’s why I am getting this stupid degree in the first place.”
“It’s not stupid, it’ll provide you with a stable, reliable income.”
“If that’s so important, why did you quit your job, then?”
Cass stopped cold at that, her eyes darkening.
“And what does any of this have to do with Nick not responding to my texts? Are you seriously suggesting I should break up with the man that I love over how much money he makes?”
“Love?” Cass’s eyes went wide. “Don’t you think that’s taking it a little far?”
“No, actually, I don’t think it’s taking it too far. And I would never break up with someone because of how much they make.”
“Well, I’m sorry, honey, but it seems like he’s breaking up with you.”
Penny gasped, sitting back for a moment, her hand on her chest. Just then the tea kettle hit its boil, a light flashing as hot steam erupted into the kitchen air. Cass rose to make the tea.
“I know,” Penny whispered almost to herself as the water burbled noisily into two mugs. “But what I want to know is why.”
“Does it matter? Men are fickle.” Cass flicked her fingers at the air with one hand as the othe
r set down the kettle on its base.
“Nick’s not.”
“They all are. I was just trying to point out the silver lining of the situation.”
“Even Lyle? By the way, where is he?”
“Working overtime again.”
“At two p.m. on a Sunday afternoon?”
“That’s the definition of overtime, I think.” Cass’s eyes were dark, hung up on the mug she sat in front of Penny and then gliding bleakly to her own.
“Wow, that’s—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Is there something going on?
Cass took a deep, ragged breath. “To be honest with you, I’m a little worried he’s cheating on me. It isn’t just the working late. There were some charges in our bank account that don’t make any sense. One was for flowers. And when he comes home, he’s distant.”
Penny sat back in the chair, floored. “My God. Did you talk to him about it?”
“No. What can I say? I can’t say anything. I’m just dowdy and unshowered all the time. I’ve gained five pounds. I’m nowhere near losing the baby weight. I can’t even remember where my lipstick is, let alone the last time I put it on. Who can blame him?”
“What? Don’t think like that. Cass, that’s awful. And none of that is true. You look better than ever.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Maybe you just need some time off together. A date. A getaway. I can watch the little one.”
“No. You have school—”
“Look, school doesn’t take up one hundred percent of my time. Especially if I’m gonna have so much more free time without Nick around. You still care about Lyle, don’t you? More than that, you love him? Right?”
At that, Penny was surprised to see tears rim the edge of Cassie’s eyes. “Of course I do.”
“Well then, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to get him back. Just like I’m going to do whatever it takes to get Nick back. Just as soon as I can figure out how.”
“Penny…” Cass was wringing her hands now, not looking at all relieved.
“What? What is it?”
“Don’t do that.” The tears hadn’t left Cass’s eyes.
Penny stared for a moment, trying to understand. “Do what? Babysit for you? It’s the least I can do.”
“No. Don’t try to get Nick back.”
“Why?”
“I just don’t think you’re good for each other. You’ll be better off without him.”
“How can you say that? I love him, Cass.” Had loved him for years at a distance, although Cass didn’t know that. And he was so much better than she’d imagined. Sir Dreamy seemed like a distant, foggy, well, dream when compared to the real man in high definition. “I’m not giving up this easily.”
“Penny, I… it’s not just the money thing, the career thing.” Cass frowned, looking down in her lap. “Look, I know I shouldn’t have been snooping around, but I wasn’t trying to, really. But when I was at your place the other day, I found these.”
Penny froze and stared as Cass set the pair of silver handcuffs on the table. The ones Penny had set on the dresser, hoping to show Nick the next day. That she’d forgotten to put away or hide when her sister was coming over.
Penny swallowed. “So?”
“What do you mean, so? So if he’s making you do things you don’t want to do—”
“He’s absolutely not. What would even make you think that?”
“What are these for then?”
Penny shrugged, trying to play it casual. “Role-playing. Fun. What else?”
“Do you mean you’re okay with this?”
“Okay with what?”
“With this kind of deviant behavior? What kind of guy gets off on tying girls up, Penny? Doesn’t that scare you?”
“No.” When had Cass become such a prude?
“Come on! Everyone knows this kind of shit is sick. This is probably a sign he was abused. Or has watched way too much porn.”
“Those are both myths. Consensual role-playing and power exchange can be perfectly healthy and very fulfilling.” That came out surprisingly confident, considering she’d only read it online a few times now. She still had a lot more research to do. She was totally not prepared for this conversation. And what did it matter if Nick never talked to her or touched her ever again?
“Consensual role-playing? What? I can’t believe what I’m hearing!”
“Cass…” Penny reached out and closed her hand around the cuffs. “These aren’t Nick’s. They’re mine.”
Cass stared, mouth hanging open. “What?”
“They’re mine.”
“Yours? Penny—my God. You must stay away from this man. A few weeks of having sex and you’re into S&M?”
“Technically, this is only very light bondage.”
“What will a year bring, public orgies?”
“No, it won’t. Jeez, get a grip.”
Cass’s eyes hardened, glinting in the silvery tones of her kitchen skylights. “This is way out of control. I am so glad I told him to stay away from you.”
Penny’s blood ran cold. “Excuse me? You what?”
Cass straightened, her chin rising in that stubborn way that used to make Penny want to punch her. Wait—scratch that. It still made Penny want to punch her. “I told him to stay away from you. And I don’t regret it.”
“How could you do such a thing?” Penny cried.
“Anyone who gets off on this kind of thing is fucked-up and not someone that is right for you. My little sister deserves better. You deserve better. Someone kind, someone that can support you—”
Penny stabbed a finger at the table. “For your information, Nick Markov is the kindest, most considerate man I have ever met. Lyle could take a few lessons from him. Nick’s never made me do anything I don’t want to do, and he’s not fucked-up.”
“Oh, what are you, a psychologist now?”
“I’m not, but neither are you. Listen to me. How I choose to have sex and with whom is up to me and me alone. Do you hear me? Not you.” Penny wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she’d risen to her feet and was pounding on the table. She sank hastily back down. “Just what did you tell him?”
“I told him you deserve someone who could better provide for you.”
Penny winced.
“And I told him that I knew about his sick little fetish, and that I’d tell everyone in town about it if he didn’t stay away from you.”
Something in Penny hardened from horror to rage to cool, righteous anger now. “Well. That explains a lot. I guess I came to the right place to figure out what happened with Nick.”
“Penny, I’m just trying to look out for you. This is for the best.”
“Well, stop. I’ve had enough of your ‘looking out for me.’ It was one thing to stop painting. It was one thing to focus on my schoolwork and give art up for now. To relegate my passion to a hobby. But you’re not going to pressure me into giving up Nick. And I’m starting to realize I should’ve never let you pressure me into any of it.”
Penny snatched the cuffs off the table and stormed toward the door, jerking on her coat.
“Penny, wait—where are you going?”
“To find Nick and make this right.”
“Wait. Let’s talk about this.” Cass rushed after her as she slammed her feet into her boots. Couldn’t happen fast enough. “You could have anyone, sweetie. Anyone!”
Penny yanked the door open and stopped to look back at her sister for a moment. “I don’t want anyone, I want him. You’re not going to change that. Maybe you should quit meddling in my business and start worrying more about your own. You must have married Lyle for a few things other than his money and his good looks. Maybe you should be remembering what they are.”
Penny slammed the door behind her and stomped out toward the street. It was a low blow, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
Huddling outside at the nearest bus stop, Penny jammed Ashley’s numb
er into her phone. A bleary voice answered, slurring, “What?”
“Give me Nick’s address,” Penny demanded.
“What?” At least she sounded awake now.
“Nick’s address. You have it, right?”
“Wow, what’s going on? Little Miss Perfect finally coming to me for some sex help?”
“No, I’m coming to you for Nick’s address. Do you have it or not?”
“Hold on, I need to wallow in this feeling for a moment.”
“I’m hanging up.” Penny lowered the phone.
“Wait! Wait, I have it.”
She raised the phone to her ear again.
“Where are you? Are you going over there?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Right now.”
“Jesus, some shit really hit the fan. What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I just need to get over there and see him.”
“Okay, hold on, I’m finding it. But listen, his mom is nosy as hell. You’re going to need more than just the address.” On the other end of the phone, something rustled, then clanged. A cabinet shutting.
“What are you doing? I swear, if you’re just jerking me around—”
“I’m not. I’m coming to get you. Where are you?”
“What?”
“Where are you? The buses don’t run often out Nick’s way. I’ll come pick you up.”
Penny sat stock still, the hard anger in her heart at her sister easing a little. Was Ash for real? “I’m at my sister’s. Well, the bus stop outside. On Yardvale Street and Dixon.”
“Got it. Be there in a few.” Ashley hung up.
Penny stared down at the phone. If this was some sort of trick, Penny was going to kill her.
But sure enough, about five minutes later, Ashley pulled up in her black hatchback and motioned for Penny to get in. Sitting on the seat was a DVD.
“My copy of While You Were Sleeping? Damn it, Ash, you said you lost it.”
Ashley shrugged in her leather jacket. “Well, I found it.”
“Where are we going?”
“To Nick’s. I texted you the address. But first we need to make a quick stop at the drive-thru.”
“Ash,” Penny started, barely concealing the pain in her voice, “this is no time for a snack while I’m freaking out over here—”
Bad Game: A Geeky New Adult Romance (Leveling Up In Love Book 2) Page 13
