Helena bit her lip.
“I didn’t think so. Like I told you before, the best thing for me to do is steer clear of him. I shouldn’t be dining with him, pretending to be someone I’m not.”
“But the man is obviously fond of you. Surely—”
“Trust me, Auntie. I know what I’m doing on this. After tonight, I have no plans on ever seeing that man again.”
Nathan stood and pulled out their chairs when they returned.
“I hope we didn’t keep you waiting too long,” Helena said, taking her seat.
“Of course not. I was afraid I had actually chased you ladies off. I tend to get a little carried away when I start talking about my work.”
“Don’t be silly. We’ve enjoyed your company.”
He glanced toward Carissa, puzzled by her tight smile. Something was wrong. The group fell silent and retreated to their own private thoughts.
“You know, there is something I would love to show you,” Helena exclaimed, startling Nathan at the sudden outburst.
“Risa, can I see your car keys? I want to get something from the car.”
“What?” Carissa eyes her suspiciously.
“It’s a surprise.”
Carissa’s eyes narrowed.
“Please? I promise it’s nothing that would embarrass you.”
Nathan wasn’t sure of what was going on, but he sensed Helena was up to something.
Reluctantly, Carissa retrieved the keys from her purse.
“Thank you. I’ll be right back.” She stood, then winked at him as she strode from the table.
She’s definitely up to something, he confirmed to himself.
Once they were alone, Nathan leaned forward. “I hope I haven’t done something to upset you. I’ll feel terrible if you really didn’t want me to join you. I swear I don’t make a habit of imposing on people.”
His apologetic look made her feel ashamed of her behavior. But heaven knew she couldn’t help it. Whenever the man was near, she went from a strong, independent woman to an insecure, jealousy-prone idiot. “There’s really no need for you to apologize. It’s me. I just really had a rough day. I’m glad you joined us for dinner.”
Nathan had his doubts.
“Really,” she added, covering his hand for emphasis. But the moment her hand made contact, her heart skipped a beat.
His gaze lowered. Then he placed his free hand atop hers.
She felt dizzy at the exquisite feel of his caress. How was it possible that such large hands could feel so soft?
When his gaze returned to her face, his brows were heightened with curiosity. “No engagement ring?”
Chapter 14
“Let me explain,” Carissa began, but she couldn’t think of a single lie to bail her out. “I told the hospital I was engaged to your father because it was the only way they would let me see him.”
Nathan released her hand. “So you lied?”
Her brows rose at the undeniable anger laced in his voice. “I lied to the hospital about my relationship. I have to admit I was a little concerned when none of his family members had shown up,” she added defensively. It was partly true, she reasoned with herself.
Contrite, he nodded. “I guess I can understand that.”
“You guess?” she repeated. Her sudden anger surprised her. All thoughts of finishing her confession flew out the window. “You know, Mr. Edwards. I changed my mind. I think this was a mistake. I have no intentions of sitting here while you cast judgment—”
“Judgment?” he thundered incredulously. Then, as if he realized what he’d done, he lowered his voice. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
“Well, aren’t you?”
“Excuse me, ma’am?” the waiter interrupted. “This was left for you.” He handed her a folded note.
Jaws clenched, she accepted the note. She gazed over the words, then shook her head in disbelief. “I’m going to kill her.”
“Let me guess.” Nathan leaned back with a knowing smile. “She took off.”
“You have to excuse my aunt. She loves practical jokes.”
“Or perhaps playing matchmaker?”
“I’ll take a cab,” Carissa declared, then waved for the waiter. “Check, please.”
“Nonsense. I’ll take you home.”
“What—so we can continue arguing in the car?”
“How about if we called a truce,” he offered. But for some odd reason he enjoyed arguing with her. He liked when her face flushed and her eyes lit up. He had a feeling the woman had engaged and won quite a few battles in her lifetime.
“I was expecting something more like an apology.” She crossed her arms and patiently drummed her fingers.
Oh, yes, he thought, the woman knew how to get what she wanted. And lucky for her, he was in the mood to accommodate her. “You have my sincerest apologies, Ms. Carnes.”
She looked away.
“It wasn’t my intention to sound like I was in any way judging you.” When she visibly relaxed, he went on to explain. “I just left a relationship where…” He waved the speech off. “It’s not important.”
She remained quiet, not sure of what to say. When the check arrived, she reached for her purse.
“Don’t even think about it.” Nathan retrieved his wallet. “No woman pays for a meal around me.”
“Sounds chauvinistic.”
“I thought I was being romantic.”
Their gazes deepened with their light banter. However, Carissa was never one to remain speechless for long. “A girl could get the impression that you’re on the rebound.”
“Hardly.” He turned serious again. “I’ve had time to get over it.”
“That bad?”
“Worse.” He gripped his drink. “In retrospect, I guess I should have seen it coming.”
Her keen gaze caught the flicker of pain that crossed his features as he lifted the glass. She was sorry she had brought up the subject.
“Honesty is one of the most important ingredients in a relationship,” he said thoughtfully. “That and communication. India and I had neither.”
Pretty name, she thought.
Nathan laughed and shook his head. “I’m doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Treating you like you’re my shrink or something. Of course, this would never happen if you weren’t such a good listener.”
This time she laughed. “It’s okay. Believe it or not, I rather enjoy our little talks.”
“You’re an interesting woman, Ms. Carnes. I’ll give you that.”
She shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
Playfully her eyes narrowed, unable to tell whether he was joking. “Well, don’t. I’ve been told plenty of times I’ve inherited my father’s temper as well as his nose for business.”
“Ah, an ill-tempered fashion model. Now that’s something you don’t hear about every day.”
“Ha. I’m no model.”
He frowned. “But your aunt said—”
“She was referring to when I was three years old.” Carissa shook her head. “I did a few print ads and that’s about it.”
“I bet you were a beautiful baby.”
Carissa’s body grew warm. “Do you always say the right thing at the right time?”
“No. I think I’m just on a roll.” He puffed out his chest, then grinned at her sudden burst of laughter. She’s wonderful, he thought. He wanted to talk to her for hours again, listen to her thoughts about everything that kept him lying awake at night.
“Have you decided how long you’re staying in town?” she asked, averting her gaze.
He shrugged. “I keep changing my mind every ten minutes. I know I should stay. Especially now since I’m starting to suspect foul play.”
Her heart dropped. “Foul play? What do you mean?”
“I can’t put my finger on it.” He shrugged, then met her gaze again. “How did you find out what happened?
”
Think. Think. “I, uh, received a call.”
“Was it from a Ms. Townsend?”
She swallowed, then forced her best poker face. “I believe so. Why?”
“She contacted me, too. Today, I decided to find out a little more about what led up to his heart attack. So I gave her a call, then went by to see her.”
“What did she say?” she asked cautiously.
“It’s not what she said that’s bothering me.”
“No?”
“It’s what she wouldn’t say. I got the impression she was hiding something.”
Carissa didn’t dare say anything.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged out of his reverie. “Maybe I’m imagining things.”
“I need another drink. Waiter.”
Nathan frowned. “Is there something wrong?”
“No. I’m just thirsty.” She placed her order and the waited adjusted their check before strolling off.
“I get the impression that if we were to have a contest you could drink me under the table.”
“You’re damn right.”
He laughed. “I guess there’s an upside to this. At this rate, I’ll have to peel you off me by the end of the night.”
“You’re daydreaming again.”
“Am I?” His brows wiggled back at her. “Now that I know you’re available the rules have changed.”
Another rush of heat swept over her. There was no mistaking his meaning. “Just because I’m not engaged to your father doesn’t mean that I’m available.”
“Good point. Are you involved with anyone?”
“That’s none of your business.”
He studied her. “Then I’m going to pretend that you’re not. Maybe even pretend that we’re actually on our first date.”
Smiling, she shook her head. “Do you always just go after what you want?”
“Relentlessly.”
“That’s another thing we have in common.” Her expression sobered when their eyes met again. “But the reality is that we’ve known each other only two days—two very unusual days. It’s hardly the makings of a relationship.”
He nodded as if he were processing this information. “Well, how about a night of unbridled passion?”
“What?” Her eyes widened.
Nathan’s serious mask crumbled as his shoulders shook with mirth. “Relax. I was just joking.”
She relaxed.
“I can wait another two days.”
When her eyes narrowed, his amusement deepened.
“You may find this hard to believe, Mr. Edwards, but I’m not attracted to you,” she lied.
Nathan covered his heart with his hands. “Ouch. You really know how to hurt a man.”
She finally laughed. “You’re something else.”
“I’ve been told that before.”
“No doubt from your ex.” She clamped her jaws shut, regretting her quick retort.
“Ah. Is that jealousy I hear?”
“No.”
He studied her again, unable to break her perfect poker face. “You’re a tough one to figure out.”
“You’re right. And I aim to stay that way.”
Much later, the couple’s conversation returned to more serious matters. But this time, it was Carissa’s turn on the psychiatrist’s couch.
“So you never went to see him before he died?” Nathan asked, sullen.
She nearly choked on her answer. “No.”
“If you had to do it all over again?”
“In a heartbeat.” She chewed her bottom lip. “I’m not happy at all about how things have turned out.” Her voice trailed off.
“I’m sorry.” He enclosed her hands in his and caressed the tips of her fingers. She was struck by how small hers seemed.
“It’s okay. I have no one to blame but myself. After his death, I was consumed with the need to make him proud of me. All my accomplishments have left me hollow because I don’t like what I’ve become.”
“What is it that you do?”
Ruin people’s lives. “I just help run a small family business,” she whispered.
He squeezed her hand. “The way you were talking I was beginning to think that you worked for the mob.”
She smiled. “No. It’s nothing that drastic.” She looked down at their hands. “But you need to know that guilt is a very powerful thing. That’s why I say if there’s any way for you to make peace with your father, grab hold of it with both hands and don’t you dare let go.”
Carissa’s words echoed in Nathan’s head as he drove her home. He was already experiencing the power of his guilty conscience. Shortly after he’d graduated from college, he’d received a letter from Travis saying how much he wanted to see him again. But Nathan had been astonished by the man’s audacity. He remembered laughing while he tore up the letter, then remembered later nursing his guilt over a bottle of tequila.
“Take a right at the corner,” Carissa instructed from the passenger seat of his rented Bronco.
“It’s this building right here.”
Nathan looked up at the luxury high-rise. “You live here?”
She looked flustered. “Yeah. It’s really not as expensive as it looks.” She shrugged.
Was she kidding? He knew exactly how much it cost to live in this area of town. “Are you sure you don’t work for the mob?”
She laughed. “I really appreciate your bringing me home. After I wring my aunt’s neck, I’m sure it will never happen again.”
He parked inside the garage.
“You know it’s not necessary for you to walk me to the door.”
“Nonsense. I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I didn’t escort you safely home.”
She started to protest again, but the look on his face told her she was wasting her breath.
When they stepped from the elevator, Nathan was immediately impressed by the subtle elegance that greeted him. He glanced down at his simple black jeans and snug cotton turtleneck and felt underdressed. “Nice place.”
“Thank you,” she said uneasily. She thought the walk to her suite seemed unbelievably long. When her front door came into view, she exhaled. “Here we are.” She tested the knob and was relieved her aunt hadn’t locked her out.
“Then I guess this is good night?”
“It looks that way.” She glanced at her watch. “I’d invite you in for a nightcap, but it’s pretty late.”
He looked at the time. “Three o’clock. I’m sorry I kept you past curfew, but I really enjoyed your company. You gave me a lot to think about.”
“I hope I was able to help.”
“You were.”
They fell silent. Neither knew how to end the evening.
“Good night, Risa.” He leaned forward and tipped her chin up with his fingers and placed a tender kiss against her lips.
A sweet sensation pooled within her body, making it impossible for her to hold on to a clear thought. When he pulled away, her quick intake of air burned her lungs. “Good night,” she managed to whisper.
He smiled, then turned and walked away.
Carissa watched him as he moved down the hallway and knew that she had just made a horrible mistake. Turning, she entered her penthouse, then slumped behind the closed door. She was playing with fire and she had no idea how she was going to put out the flames Nathan Edwards had ignited.
Chapter 15
Nathan didn’t drive home. Despite the late hour, he returned to Northside Hospital. Carissa had given him a lot to think about. Maybe the past was exactly where it needed to be, in the past. Easier said than done, he thought.
The sorrow that seemed to possess her when she spoke of her father troubled him. Hell, he felt downright sorry for her. Yet it was a path he was in danger of following. He knew what he needed to do, but it still wasn’t easy.
As he traveled through the empty hallways, he tried to figure out a way to bury years of heartache. And he wondered if he was capable of forgiving. He’d always viewe
d things as black and white. There was no such thing as a gray area. It was probably why he was so hard on people, including India.
When he arrived in the ICU, Nurse Anne greeted him with a smile. In their brief conversation, he learned that there was no change in his father’s condition. Dr. Peterson warned him that there was a possibility of his father remaining in a coma for years. Nathan prayed that wasn’t how this Shakespearean tragedy would end.
Moments later, he sat beside Travis’s bed, staring at his still form. Had his father thought of him often over the past thirty years? Had he regretted his decision to walk out on him? Nathan hoped so.
Guilt can be a very powerful thing. Carissa’s voice floated through his head. He exhaled and leaned forward to take Travis’s hand. It was still cold.
“This isn’t easy for me,” he said above the lump in the center of his throat. “I want you to wake up. I know there’s nothing, yet everything, between us. But I don’t want to go through life with any more regrets. I can only hope that you feel the same way.”
Tears slid from Nathan’s eyes with his heartfelt confession. “It took a friend of yours to help me figure all this out. And I’m very grateful to her.” He smiled. “Who knows—maybe one day I’ll learn what happened when you returned from Vietnam.”
Travis’s eyes moved behind his closed lids while his mind drifted back in time…
Chicago, May 18, 1972
Travis glanced at his watch and exhaled in frustration. Maybe Val had gotten lost, he reasoned. In the back of his mind, he doubted it. For some time, he couldn’t shake this sense of impending doom. He didn’t know where this feeling came from—all he knew was that it grew stronger by the minute.
In his duffel bag, he carried every letter, picture and gift she had sent during the war. They were items he would always treasure. But right now, he was anxious to see his family, to compare his memory with the real thing.
Travis turned to the sound of an approaching car, then shielded his eyes from the glaring sun. Once again, he was disappointed with the make and model.
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