by Golden Angel
In her head though, she wondered if he'd ever be able to fulfill her needs the way she wanted him to or if she'd be stuck with her memories of Todd and wishing that her new lover was him.
****
Roger left a few hours later rather than staying the full night. Allison had gotten redressed in her pajamas to say goodbye to him. Somehow prancing around naked in front of Roger just wasn’t the same as prancing around naked in front of Todd. She just wasn’t comfortable. They’d kissed goodnight, lovingly, lingeringly. For a moment everything was right with the world and then he left and she had the entire night to sit around and think about where things had gone wrong with him.
To relieve some of her nervous energy she decided to bake some cookies. Who cared if it was midnight, sometimes a girl just needed to get on her oven mitts and get down and dirty. The internet was filled with an overwhelming number of recipes to choose from, so Allison just picked one of the basic chocolate chip ones and got down to business. Thank goodness Diana had started teaching her how to bake and cook already or she would have already been lost. Just reading a recipe could be so confusing if you never had before and had no idea what the difference between 1 tbsp and 1 tsp was.
A smile played across her lips as she had a sudden childhood memory flash by of the Fairy Godmothers in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. Too bad she didn’t have a magic wand to wave and make the ingredients line up and follow all of the directions for her. And then help her find her Prince Charming. Allison’s lips tightened and she focused on the recipe again.
An hour later she had wonderfully gooey warm chocolate chip cookies that she was eating even though they hadn’t really cooled sufficiently and were burning her fingers and tongue. But that was how she liked them. Warm and mooshy in the center with a slightly crisp outside. Kind of like herself, come to think of it.
Piling the cookies on a plate, Allison grabbed a glass and put in some ice cubes and three – no, better make that four – fingers of Bailey’s. It was her version of grown up milk and cookies. Yum. She needed comfort food right now. She needed to sit down and do some serious thinking about what she wanted from a man, maybe needed.
Could she really see herself staying with Roger if things continued the way they were? Okay, pros. Roger was incredibly thoughtful. Sexy. Sweet. They liked to do a lot of the same things, like dancing and going to museums and nice restaurants. Their tastes in movies were pretty similar. For the most part she liked the way he treated her and that little glint that he would get in his eyes sometimes did excite her. Her Daddy not only approved, she had a feeling that she’d been set up. Unlike her parents, Roger whole heartedly approved of her working and thought it was great that she was doing so well at her job. Of course, that could always change if they became something more serious. But they never talked about the future. She’d managed to avoid having “the talk” so far. They hadn’t even discussed exclusivity, although she wasn’t seeing anyone else and she didn’t think he was either.
Let’s see… Cons. Well he didn’t excite her. Or challenge her. Although he could, and did, bring her to orgasm it wasn’t the passionate love-making that she found she craved. And he was horrified by even the idea of rough sex, judging by his reaction tonight. He’d probably have an aneurism if she suggested that he tie her up or spank her. She giggled at the idea of asking him for anal sex, his head would probably explode.
Daddy probably would be unhappy if she broke up with Roger. It’s not as if she had any other real prospects on the table. Sure there were always guys that were interested in her, but at least she and Roger were mostly compatible. Even now that she was out of their house there were times when she felt like she was living her parent’s life for her, not the one that she wanted to lead. The only time she’d ever felt really truly free was when she was with Todd.
But Todd had left her. That was the awful truth that she really had to face. Somehow she’d thought they’d had something special while they were together, but for Todd it was only about the sex and the thrill of the game. He’d taken a job overseas and left her, with no indication that he had any interest in ever seeing her again. Knowing that he’d been in town and hadn’t even called or emailed or texted or… or… well done anything to even let her know… that pretty much clinched the deal didn’t it?
******
“Allison? Are you okay?” Diana’s voice woke Allison with a start. Guiltily she sat straight up and then groaned at the crick in her neck. She’d fallen asleep on the couch after eating, she looked down at the plate in her lap, yep, almost an entire plate of cookies. There were two left.
“Mmmm, yum,” Chad said, leaning over and scooping one off of the plate.
“You’re welcome,” Allison mumbled only slightly sarcastically as she massaged her aching neck. Damn. Did anything look more pathetic than falling asleep by herself, after a date, with a plate of cookies in her lap? She supposed she could be wearing a snuggie.
“Out,” Diana ordered Chad. “Girl talk happening. Now.”
Both Allison and Chad groaned but Diana wasn’t exactly someone you said no to when she was in this kind of mood. Feisty little woman. Chad gave her a quick, cookie-crumby kiss and then was on his way out the door as Diana settled down on the couch next to Allison.
“Hi,” said Allison.
“Hi. So. Talk. What happened?”
“Roger came over. We had sex. It was… fine. I was still kinda wound up when he left so I decided to try and make some cookies and it was late, so I must have just ended up falling asleep.”
Diana looked sympathetic. “Fine, huh? Not a lot of sexual chemistry?”
“Sort of,” Allison said. She pursed her lips and looked away for a moment. “If I’d met him a few months ago I would have thought he was great. But now…”
“You compare him to Todd.”
Allison winced.
“That’s naturally honey,” Diana said soothingly, scooting closer on the couch. She snagged the last cookie left on the plate. “Mmm… yum, that’s good. Seriously though. It’s only been a couple of months and you didn’t really get any closure.”
“I shouldn’t need any closure,” Allison snapped. Then cringed at how sharp she had sounded towards her friend, who was just trying to help. “Sorry. I’m still wound up I think. It’s just so frustrating. We didn’t even date. Not really. He never gave me any reason to think that things would continue beyond where they did. It’s just stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” Diana said, snuggling closer. She wrapped an arm around Allison’s shoulders, pulling the bigger girl’s curly head down onto her own shoulder. Tears sparked in Allison’s eyes, brought on by her friend’s comfort and understanding. “You can’t always do anything about your feelings. Sometimes they just happen, even if they make no sense at all.”
Well wasn’t that the uncomfortable truth. Allison sighed.
“But I can move on from them. And I’m going to. I like Roger, I really do. Things will get better.” Allison just had to hope that if she kept saying the words they would come true.
*****
A few weeks later Allison was getting increasingly frustrated.
"And it wasn't just the first time!" She told Diana one evening, pacing back and forth in her friend's room while she complained about her sex life with Roger. "Every time we have sex it's just so slow and soft and gentle... and every time I try to get him to go harder or faster he just tells me that I don't need to try and be something I’m not for him! Apparently every man in the world except him gets turned on from that. Half of it…" She took a deep breath, not even sure if she was right or if it was just wishful thinking. “Sometimes I think that half the reason he has such control over himself is because deep down he wants it just as hard and rough as I do, and it scares him. But it’s not like I can blackmail him into letting go.”
Throwing herself down on the bed next to her friend, she looked up into sympathetic slanted brown eyes.
"I spend so much time pretending that
I like everything like a lady should, making love romantic and sweet and slow... DAMMIT!" She slapped her hand against the bed in frustration. "I just want to get fucked... And all I can think about is how great sex was with Todd... How can I forget about him when I can’t get satisfaction?"
Diana started stroking her brown curls, soothing her like a mother would sooth a fretful child. Allison accepted the touch, letting it calm her a little. Hesitating, she turned her face towards Diana's and made a full confession. "I tried to call him a couple days ago... Todd, I mean. His cell phone number. I was going to leave a message or something. I don’t know."
"Really?" Diana looked surprised and slightly encouraging, not condemning at all. It made Allison feel a lot better that her friend didn't think that this was a bad thing, even though Allison was supposed to be getting over Todd. And was seeing someone else. The fact that they hadn’t actually discussed being exclusive didn’t make her feel any more moral.
"Yeah." She sighed. "It had been disconnected. I don’t know what I was going to say, hey Todd, next time you’re back in the states can you come over and give me a good fucking because I’m a horny pervert?"
"I don't think you're a pervert," Diana told her. "It's just that sometimes a girl needs to get fucked. Royally pounded and fucked... and if Roger doesn't understand that then that's his failing not yours."
Allison considered this. "Yeah, but it's not like I can break up with him for that," she said.
"Well, you could," Diana countered, "but then you would feel like a horny slut... I don't understand why you'd feel like that, but I know you would."
Brown curls shook a little as she laughed. "You're right. And that's my fault not his. Still."
She chewed her lower lip. Her feelings didn't have the kind of words she needed to explain them, that or she still just didn't want to face the kind of girl Todd had turned her into. That she’d turned herself into.
“Maybe I need more distractions,” Allison said. “Like, I need to join a club or a team or something in the evenings, get a hobby. Maybe I’ll start volunteering for something. A soup kitchen or one of those Big Brother, Big Sister things.”
“I don’t think they accept horny perverts as Big Sisters,” Diana teased. Allison whacked her with a pillow.
*****
Unfortunately Allison didn’t know the first thing about how to volunteer for anything. She checked out the Big Sister website and filled out the application, but then she just had to sit and wait for them to contact her. If they ever did. It didn’t look like there was a high demand in her area. She perused the internet one evening, looking for other avenues that she could try and make a difference in. Eventually she found a listing for a group that did work on local homes, bringing them up to code so that the residents didn’t get kicked out. That sounded like fun. They had an email listing that people could join and there was a schedule that you could sign up for, fitting it into your own time. Of course, since she worked during the week she could really only help out on weekends, but hey that was something.
When she told Roger about her do-gooder intentions he signed up for the emails as well, looking at her with admiration for wanting to reach out and help people. To be honest, she felt the same admiration in return. It’s not like she would have thought any less of him if he hadn’t been willing to join her – she hadn’t even asked him to. But Roger was an overall good guy.
They could make this work.
******
Allison was feeling much more cheerful lately. Work was going well and keeping her busy, she’d been to her first work site and had learned how to hammer and nail two by fours, and it was no longer any problem to get Roger into bed. All she had to do was starting kissing him passionately, he now accepted her aggressiveness since their first time sleeping together, and it would eventually lead to the bedroom. But things there hadn't changed at all, every time she let a "fuck" or "harder" slip he would look hurt and ask her afterwards if she really thought that he was that kind of guy. Overall though, she was much happier.
Roger had even come with her to the work site and that had been one of the best days yet. They’d been able to flirt, he’d even known his way around some of the basic tools, and working together seemed to break down some of his usual slight stodginess. He’d even flirted with the elderly resident and treated her like anyone else, despite her obvious poverty, not looking down on her at all. In a lot of ways he really wasn’t like most of the people Allison had grown up with. Mrs. Elenson in her wheelchair had looked at him with wonder and amazement in his eyes as he’d catered to her during lunch time, treating her like a princess, occasionally giving Allison a sweet wink with his eyes. When they’d left that day Mrs. Elenson had given him a kiss on the cheek and giggled like a school girl. It was one of the cutest things Allison had ever seen.
They’d been dating almost two and a half months now and tonight he was taking her out to dinner, then they’d be coming back to her place. They never went to his place because his roommate was always home and Roger was much too much a gentleman to make love when someone was in the other room. Fortunately Allison could always ask Diana to spend the night at Chad's - and neither of them had any such problem so they could always get laid. Actually, Allison thought that Diana probably got a kick out of having sex where someone else could hear her. When it was just Allison at home she and Chad could knock the roof off with the amount of noise that Diana made. Perhaps fortunately, Diana was still so amused by Roger's innocent image of her that she didn't do that when he was around. Although imagining the look on his face if he heard Diana and Chad getting it on made Allison giggle. Tonight she was going to change things up a little on him and see what that led to.
Smiling at the thought she barely noticed what he was saying, although that was fine because her very happy and amused smile convinced the handsome blonde that she was paying attention to every word coming out of his mouth. Talking and laughing the night passed quickly, both of their minds on the end of the night. Kissing passionately they stumbled through the apartment, heading for the bedroom, Allison eagerly stripping his clothes from him as her body was slowly revealed to his caressing hands. Moaning as his lips traveled down her neck, she giggled when he playfully tossed her on the bed and began pulling off his pants.
Getting up on her hands and knees with her luscious ass pointing straight at him, she made a little pout with her mouth, her eyes as widely innocent as possible and asked, "Do you think we could try it like this tonight?"
Roger hesitated to her frustration.
"Why?" he finally ventured carefully.
"Well," said Allison, just as carefully although for a vastly different reason. "One of my friends told me that it feels different this way... and I was just wondering how."
Relieved and reassured that it was genuine curiosity on her part, Roger nodded. He'd done doggy-style before and it really wasn't his favorite position, but if it was what she really wanted to try he’d indulge her. Kissing her ankles he slowly worked his mouth up her legs, switching back and forth between them as he moved. Allison moaned softly as his kisses sent tingles up her legs to her pussy. He was so good at the foreplay and after play (although she could do with a firmer hand most of the time), why couldn’t he be better at what was in between? Her legs were spread and her pussy leaking as her ass moved in the air by the time he was halfway up her thighs, her face pressed down on her forearms as she moaned her delight. Fingers and hands massaged her firm cheeks as his tongue began to slide enticingly up and down her wet slit. She found herself wishing that its touch would include her tingling asshole as well. No such luck. Roger would never do anything like that.
Getting in position behind her, he placed his hands on her hips as he began to push his dick into her wet hole, moaning at the slightly tighter fit the new position created. Allison moaned too, trying to press harder back against him, but the hands on her hips kept her from really controlling anything as usual. In some ways that just made her even hotte
r, except that she knew his control in keeping things slow wasn’t going to be followed by a rough, hard pounding. Even from behind his strokes were slow and gentle. Frustrated, she started using one of her own hands to pinch her nipples roughly, making them burn with pain and pleasure as she twisted and rolled the tender buds. Heat collecting between her thighs as Roger slowly pumped her pussy and her nipples sent urgent messages to her clit, she let her hand slide down her smooth stomach and over the new hairy mound. She winced a little at the touch of her pubic hair, she still hated the way it looked and felt after having such a pleasant time with her shaved mound. There just wasn’t as much sensation for her to feel with the hair there.
Careful not to touch his slowly thrusting dick - she didn't want him to know that she was playing with herself while he made love to her - her fingers rubbed firmly against her clit, the friction making her body shudder.
"Does it feel different?" Roger's voice from behind her.
"Yes..." The breath hissed between her teeth as her fingers pinched her clit hard. "It feels really good..."
Her body moved of its own accord as she played with her swollen clit, twisting it slightly as she pinched, the pain intermingling with the pleasure. Arching her back invitingly, she wished that he would take the hint and thrust a little faster and a little harder. Biting her lip she tugged hard on her clit, the slight pain shooting through her and making the engorged bud pulse. Her body rocked back, clenching down on the thrusting dick inside of her and squeezing it tightly. Roger moaned and his hands came sliding forward along her body, reaching for her breasts and gripping them harshly. He thrust hard, one… twice… Allison cried out as she came... it was the best orgasm she'd ever had with Roger. Her pussy convulsed around his dick and Roger just held himself in her as he moaned, feeling her muscles massaging him. He'd felt her cum before but this was a little different.
