Eliza sat on the sofa, staring into space. Her phone, in front of her on the table, vibrated.
KIT: Still in France. You need me?
ELIZA: yes
KIT: Time to come home?
ELIZA: please can you?
For the rest of the week, Eliza avoided Rob.
ROB: How you doing? Please forgive?
ELIZA: Need to see therapist. Give me space? Will be in touch soon x ROB: OK. Take care. Miss you x
Maybe she was being unreasonable, but she wanted to talk to Dr Thomson before she saw Rob again. Echoes of the fear that had gripped her were ambushing her dreams and distracting her at work. She wondered why, this time, her reaction had been so extreme.
A voice in her head whispered: He tried to force it.
She was dismayed when she couldn’t get an appointment until Tuesday, the day after a scheduled meeting with Rob, Leigh and Nikki Jones, the Head of Rose TV.
Eliza had moved Leigh across to The Greenhouse, Rose’s research department, to further develop the feasibility study for the new production company, working title: RoseGold. And Rob had been seconded from Sales to Production, where he was being mentored by Nikki. This seemed to include much lunching with industry players, of whom, according to Nikki, Rob was already one. ‘He’s a natural,’ she’d said to Eliza. ‘And he doesn’t half remind me of your dad.’
The meeting was in the Rosebud – the room used for brainstorming sessions. There were beanbags, cubes and cushions, and whiteboards were built into the walls.
When Eliza arrived, Leigh and Rob were already reclined on beanbags, Leigh pointing out something on her laptop to Rob.
‘Hi,’ Eliza said briskly. ‘Sorry I’m late. Leigh, shall we start with your figures?’
‘Whoa,’ said Leigh. ‘Nikki’s been delayed, so how about a catchup with coffee first?’
Suddenly, Eliza had no idea how to do this.
Rob noticed her discomfort. ‘Lizzie, how is there not a coffee machine in here? I’ll go fetch – maybe you should update Leigh while I’m gone?’
Thank you, you lovely man.
‘Sure, thanks, Rob.’ Her eyes followed him as he left the room.
‘That had the feel of a strategic move,’ said Leigh, watching her watching him. ‘Are you two having trouble navigating the whole you’re the boss scenario?’
‘It’s complicated. I can’t really explain, sorry.’
‘OK, I won’t pry. But I hope things are all right. You two are so good together. The way you spark off each other – I was counting on that as a key driver of our success.’
‘We’ll get it back. We just need to work some things through.’
Rob returned, and as he passed her a coffee their eyes locked. He smiled, and her heart lifted, the misery of the past week lightening a little.
Nikki arrived, and for the next hour or two Leigh talked them through figures and projections, and Nikki and Rob ran through the production and sales side of things. The marketing department would need to come on board early, Nikki said, as the plan was to start with an announcement – a PR blitz. Rose was going to be a big player in film and TV production.
‘Once we have the green light from the board, I’ll need Rob on this full time,’ she said.
‘You OK with that, Rob?’ said Eliza.
‘More than OK.’
‘Good. I think Kit and Will are on their way back, though who knows with those two. When they finally show up, we might have to put electronic tags on them.’
Nikki left to pick up her children from the crèche.
‘I guess we’re just about done, then?’ said Rob.
‘Quick drink on the way home?’ said Eliza.
‘Sounds good to me,’ said Leigh.
‘Sorry, can’t,’ said Rob. ‘In fact . . . ’ He looked at his phone. ‘Shit. Late already.’
‘Anyone we know?’ Eliza said, jokingly.
He paused. ‘I’m seeing Amy. I need to talk through some things with her.’
Eliza sat on the sofa, a box of Belgian truffles in her lap. The green-eyed monster was back, and the need for chocolate was overwhelming.
Right now, Rob was with Amy. Where were they? The house that they’d chosen together? A cosy pub?
Sweet, adoring Amy, who’d been more than happy to defer to Rob. No who’s the boss? issues there. And no bedroom issues, either.
Chapter 24
Eliza
Eliza was back in Dr Thomson’s comfy armchair. She picked up her tea and noticed her hand was shaking.
So did Dr Thomson. ‘Are you worried about discussing your father, Eliza?’
‘Maybe. But, as you know, we have a great relationship. We’re close.’
‘Nevertheless, it’s no secret that he’s had quite a . . . colourful love life. How do you feel that’s affected your own relationships with men?’
‘I’ve only had one. You know about the problem with that.’
Kit’s face came to mind. ‘OK, maybe two. But the other one . . . well, I fell at the first hurdle. Probably just as well,’ she added.
‘Does what your father thinks of your partners matter to you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Has he ever discussed his love life with you?’
Eliza shifted uncomfortably. ‘Kind of. As you know, I wondered if I had trust issues because of his habit of flipping off one woman and moving on to the next. But we’ve talked more about all that recently. Things weren’t always what they seemed.’
‘I see.’
For the next hour, Dr Thomson gently coaxed out Eliza’s thoughts about Harry’s relationships with women, in particular, his treatment of Ana.
‘Maybe, deep down, I hold him responsible for her death,’ said Eliza. ‘Because he cheated on her, then turned his back on her when she was in danger. And Caitlyn – I loved her. He basically drove her to suicide. If the man I love and respect above all others can behave in that way, how can I bring myself to trust any man? How can I let Rob . . . well, inside, I guess.’ She gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘And people keep telling me he’s a lot like my dad, which isn’t helping.’
‘The mind,’ said Dr Thomson, ‘the way we physically respond to things – everyone’s different, things are rarely black and white.’ She paused, looking down at her notes. ‘Eliza, during our first session you referred to a – let me see – a “creepy uncle”.’
‘Oh god, Seymour. Yes.’
‘You said he touched you inappropriately. When was this?’
Eliza shuddered inwardly. ‘A few times, when Dad was married to Seymour’s sister, Janette, and then a couple more after she died.’
‘So a man into whose care you’d been entrusted abused that trust.’
‘Too right he did.’
‘And to recap – your trust in your father was perhaps severely compromised when you discovered he . . . let’s say, he failed to protect your mother and step-mother.’
Was this it? Was this the reason for her problem?
‘Dr Thomson . . . Rob and me, we tried again. I know we shouldn’t have, while I’m still in therapy, but I . . . well, I felt I owed it to him.’
‘Why did you feel that, Eliza?’
‘He asked me to move in with him, and I refused. I felt bad about it; I wanted to show him how much I love him.’
‘Why did you say no to moving in?’
‘I wanted to keep my independence for a while longer. And he’s still married.’
Dr Thomson paused. ‘I’d surmise that your reluctance to commit and your response to sex are connected. What happened when you tried?’
‘I completely freaked. I couldn’t stop shaking.’ Eliza finally burst into tears.
Dr Thomson handed her a box of tissues, waiting for her to compose herself.
She took a shaky breath. ‘Dr Thomson?’
‘Yes, Eliza?’
‘If you think it is a trust issue – will I ever be able to lose the fear?’ Her heart was in her mouth.
‘We can
devise strategies and see what works for you.’
‘How long will it take?’
‘Hard to say. We’ll probably need another half a dozen sessions, then perhaps you can resume relations with Rob, see how it’s working out.’
ELIZA: Hi. I’m getting there. Let’s catch up next week?
ROB: Whenever you’re ready. Missing you so much xxx ELIZA: Cool. Will text again soon. Miss you too xxx
‘Two visitors in reception for you,’ said Pippa that afternoon. ‘Will and Kit?’
The PA’s mouth dropped open as Eliza flew past her, heading for the lifts.
In the atrium, milling with fashionably dressed Rose employees, the pair stood out a mile in their tatty jeans and misshapen jumpers, their backpacks beside them on the floor.
After the despondency of recent days, Eliza felt an enormous surge of happiness. ‘Oh my god, have I missed you two!’
‘Likewise, my lovely carrot top,’ said Will, squeezing her tight.
She turned to Kit. ‘You came. What perfect timing.’
‘Come here.’
He wrapped her in a hug, and she felt her angst dissolve, as if he were absorbing it all. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder.
‘Your people are ogling, Eliza,’ said Will.
She pulled back. ‘Where have you been?’ she asked, touching Kit’s face. ‘What have you been doing?’
‘As little as possible. Ran out of money, though.’
‘Have you been writing?’
‘I started something. What’s going on with you?’
‘Let’s go somewhere more private.’
She called Pippa. ‘Hey, I’m taking the afternoon off. Can you reschedule everything?’
‘Where are we going?’ said Will.
‘My place. It’s not far to walk. Shall I call Leigh?’
‘She’s here?’ said Will.
‘Yes.’
‘Then let the party begin.’
So many reasons to let her hair down. So many reasons not to stop at just the two drinks, or three, or four . . .
‘Call it a belated celebration,’ said Leigh, topping up their glasses. ‘Firsts for all five of us. Wish Frankie could be here. Didn’t we do gooood?’ She looked at Will and Kit, sprawled together on the sofa. ‘Though how you two managed it, I’ll never understand. Do you have a pact with the Devil or something?’
Eliza put on a playlist from their time at Oxford. ‘So – are you in London for good? Where are you staying?’
‘We’re homeless. But we might not have been as idle as you’re supposing,’ said Will.
‘How so?’
‘We’re here for job interviews.’
‘But—’
‘Just in case. You’re not the boss lady yet, correct? Do you think your Rob could lend us some suitable clothes? Can’t really turn up like this, and we’re completely skint.’
‘I’m sure he will.’ Eliza sighed. ‘But I should probably tell you – things between us are a bit tricky at the moment. We’re on a sort of break. Just temporary.’
‘Why?’ said Kit.
‘It’s complicated.’
‘You can tell us,’ said Will.
‘No, I can’t. Anyway, you can stay with me. And I’ll take you clothes shopping and get you decent haircuts. Think of it as an advance.’
It was past two in the morning. Leigh had gone home, and Will was asleep on the sofa. Eliza fetched a duvet, and he muttered softly as she arranged it over him. She smiled and kissed his forehead, hit by a wave of wine-induced sentimentality.
Kit was standing by the window. She slid her arms round his waist, resting her head on his back. ‘I’m so glad you’re here. When you’re not around, I feel kind of . . . lost.’
‘Let’s go for a walk.’
‘But it’s gone two!’
‘Perfect time for a stroll.’
‘I always knew you were a creature of the night.’
They walked along the embankment to the looming hulk of the Tower, its boxy symmetry illuminated by floodlights. Out on the river, barges and other Thames workhorses chugged along purposefully and a little mysteriously, their dark, lumbering shapes a contrast to the daytime ferries that scuttled to and fro.
The city’s glow radiated upwards, masking the night sky.
London – never quiet, never still. Its long, long history; its hint of magic.
Eliza was reminded of their last night at Oxford.
‘Same river,’ said Kit.
‘Reading my mind again, Marley.’
‘It’s not that hard, Rose.’
She peered down at the Traitors’ Gate below them. ‘I walk past this every day, but it still gives me the creeps.’
Kit looked across to the walls of the Tower. ‘This whole place screams.’
‘I know what you mean.’ Eliza shivered.
‘That wasn’t a cold shiver, but let me warm you up anyway,’ said Kit, putting an arm round her.
‘I am a tad chilly.’
‘You said that once before.’
‘Did I?’
‘So . . . you and Rob. What happened?’
‘He wanted me to move in with him. He tried . . . to rush things, I guess. It was all moving too fast for me – he’s still married. I have to think about my public profile. Harry Rose’s daughter with a married man. What do you suppose the press would do with that?’
‘History repeats.’
‘Yep. Marriage-wrecker, just like my mum. And my dad. The part about Rob being separated would be roundly ignored for the sake of a good story. I’ve been mulling it over.’
Telling Kit about the problem was helping her resolve it in her mind. ‘I think we should cool things right down until his divorce comes through.’ She snuggled in to Kit. ‘And . . . I love him, but I’m just not ready for that level of commitment. Plus there’s . . . ’ She stopped herself. She didn’t need to share everything.
‘The virgin thing?’
She looked at him in surprise. ‘Oh, that’s embarrassing. How did you know?’
His smile was secretive. ‘Intuition.’
‘You freak me out sometimes. But . . . yes. I’m getting help. Therapy.’
His smile turned mischievous. ‘I could help.’ He pulled her closer, and she felt a burst of something as wicked as his smile.
‘Stop it, Kit. Do not sully our beautiful friendship with your . . . your . . . ’
Jesus, his eyes. Those lips.
He was laughing at her. He was too beautiful. He was . . .
‘Just . . . stop it!’ She pulled away from him. ‘So? Am I doing the right thing, making him wait?’
‘When it comes to relationships, I’m probably not the best person to ask.’
‘But you know my mind and my heart. Who else would I ask?’
‘You already know the answer. Yes, make him wait. Keep control.’
He leaned on the parapet, looking out at the river. ‘What’s she like, his wife?’
‘Quiet. Sweet. A nurse. Bit boring, really.’
‘Nurse Nobody or Queen Eliza. A no-brainer for someone like him. No wonder he bailed; his eyes are on the prize.’
‘No, he’s not like that.’ She moved close again. ‘He’s known me forever. He loves the real me.’
‘You sure about that? Rob’s a player.’
‘Maybe. But I actually think he has a problem with me being the boss.’
‘He’s an alpha male. Needs to be top dog.’
‘But you do like him, right?’
He turned to her. ‘Babe, nobody’s good enough for you. Apart from yours truly, but I’m a fuck-up. This you know.’
He was smiling, but there was something in his eyes.
‘You are, Kit.’ She put her arms round his waist. ‘Maybe you should have therapy too?’
He snorted. ‘Nobody could sort out my shit, believe me.’
‘Why don’t you tell me about it?’
He pushed her away gently, and set off walking. ‘Come o
n, Rose,’ he called over his shoulder. ‘Time for bed.’
She hurried to catch up. ‘Right. You in yours, me in mine.’
Chapter 25
Eliza
ELIZA: Lunch tomorrow?
ROB: We can do better. Dinner? I’ll book ELIZA: OK. Make it somewhere VERY discreet!
He was already there, sitting by the pub window with a pint. He hadn’t noticed her come in, and she stopped for a moment, watching him, her heart in her mouth. Adorable Rob. Why couldn’t she give herself to him completely?
He spotted her and grinned. ‘Lizzie. Figured you might need a large one.’ He indicated a gin and tonic.
His eyes were twinkling. He was assuming it was all back on.
She went to sit down opposite, then changed her mind and sat beside him. He kissed her cheek, then, after a moment’s hesitancy, her lips.
‘I’m sorry,’ they both said at once.
‘No, I am. Really,’ said Eliza. ‘I shouldn’t have shut you out.
Thanks so much for understanding.’
‘I shouldn’t have pushed it,’ he said. ‘Hey, I have good news. Amy’s finally playing ball. I’ve got myself a lawyer – he says the Bali wedding was legal, so we have to do everything properly.’
‘Right. How long will it take?’
‘Six months to a year. So, Lizzie – we’ve had some space. We’re all good now, right?’
She took a breath, reminded herself what was at stake. ‘Well . . . yes. But I’ve been thinking things through, and I’ve talked some more with Dr Thomson too. I won’t go into that now, but we’re working on a strategy.’
‘That’s good.’
‘Rob,’ she said, meeting his eye. ‘I’m sorry, but I want to wait until you’re properly free. Divorced.’
He frowned.
‘If all goes to plan at the board meeting, I could be CEO soon. The spotlight will be on me, there’s no escaping that, and I’d rather be single while that’s happening.’
‘Single? Lizzie—’
‘Let me finish. I want the media focusing on my work, my career, my plans for RoseGold. I don’t want them diverted by my love life, especially when they’re bound to drag up Dad’s past again. That’s so going to happen if they profile me.’
Sister to Sister Page 18
