Any of the staff could walk by and see them. This had to stop now—before they couldn’t stop.
She broke the kiss, feeling breathless and dizzy. “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”
He pressed his forehead to hers, eyes closed, sounding out of breath himself. “You won’t hear me complaining.”
Though she knew they should part, she couldn’t make herself move. “What are we doing, Will? We both know this can’t happen.”
“Can’t or shouldn’t? Because it can, I think we just established that.”
She couldn’t hold back a smile. He was right. In the sexual-attraction department, they were batting a thousand. “We shouldn’t because it’s against the rules. I can’t because I have a son to think about, a good life here that I can’t risk throwing away. There’s too much at stake.”
He took a long, deep breath and blew it out, tousling the hair by her ear. “How about what you want?”
That was the problem—she didn’t know what she wanted. Two weeks ago everything had been clear. Life had been simple and easy. Then Will had come along and her world was suddenly chaos.
“Forget about me, Will. What do you want?”
Chapter 11
What did he want?
Hell, he wasn’t even sure anymore. Things he’d never imagined he’d want again. Things he’d thought were out of his reach, like marriage and family. Companionship. When he was with Abi, it felt possible. Complicated and confusing and frightening as hell—but possible.
The strange part was, he liked her too much, cared too deeply to subject her to life with a man like him. At least, not until he got his head together. He might know where he went wrong with his past relationships, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen again. She deserved better. And she was right—there was so much to consider. More than even she realized.
Eventually he would have to tell her the truth, tell her why he was really here. Though he hadn’t directly lied to her, he hadn’t been completely honest either and he knew how important trust was to her. She could easily interpret his omission as a betrayal.
And then there was Adam. He was a great kid—smart and funny and creative. And desperate for a father figure, if the way he’d latched onto Will was any indication. But what kind of role model would he be? He knew nothing about raising a child.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He knew the wrong way—his father had taught him that.
“Why don’t we take this one day at a time?” he told Abi. “We won’t make any promises or have any expectations, not until we both know what we want.”
She nodded, looked relieved even. “Okay.”
“It’s late. I should go.”
She nodded again and he backed away. He wanted to kiss her again, to touch her, but he knew if they got started, they may not be able to stop and things would probably go further than either of them was ready for.
Did he want to sleep with her? Hell, yes. But not if it meant hurting her or Adam.
“Are we still on for tomorrow?” he asked.
“If you still want to come.”
“I do.”
“Then meet us in the main parking lot at ten.”
“I’ll be there.”
She hesitated, looking up at him through the dark. For a second he thought she might kiss him, but then she turned and walked to her cabin. When she’d stepped inside and closed the door behind her, he headed down the path. Somewhere beside him he heard the rustle of underbrush, and his hand automatically settled into the pocket where he kept his switchblade. He strained to see into the woods, but it was too dark. He couldn’t see three feet in front of his face.
Unfortunately Abi was wrong—it wasn’t a stray animal. Someone had been watching them.
He just had to figure out who and why.
Abi leaned back on the blanket they’d spread out in the grass near the playground in Laurel Valley City Park.
She tipped up her head, letting the early-afternoon sunshine warm her face, the quiet breeze ruffle her hair. She closed her eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of honeysuckle, listened to the sounds of children playing, the squeak of the swings and the thud of little feet against the wood play equipment.
It was so…peaceful.
Four years ago, before Adam, she would have never appreciated the simple pleasure of spending an afternoon on a blanket in a park. And she wouldn’t have appreciated the easy companionship of the man stretched out on the blanket with her.
Will lay on his side next to Adam, head propped up in one hand as they both examined some green, spindly, creepy-looking insect that had landed on their blanket. The two were so close their heads were nearly touching. To anyone observing, he could have easily been mistaken for Adam’s father. And she couldn’t stop the emotion from building in her when she looked at the two of them that way.
She realized now that her hopes of Adam not getting attached to Will were futile. Superglue couldn’t increase the strength of the bond that had developed between the two of them. And how could she expect Adam not to grow attached when she herself had slipped so deeply under Will’s spell?
It was almost embarrassing the way she’d lain awake half the night wondering what it would be like to spend the day with him. The way her stomach had jumped with nerves and excitement as he’d walked toward them in the parking lot that morning. The way she could so easily forget what was right, abandon common sense for that emotional connection, the physical pleasure of being near him. The idea of touching him, the memory of the kiss they had shared last night, the way his body had felt pressed against her, made her feel intoxicated with desire, heavy with lust. Even though lust was the last thing she should be feeling in the middle of a busy park.
Maybe later, when they got back to the retreat, she would invite him in for a while. Then, when Adam went to bed…
They would what? Kiss? Touch? Would she invite him into her bedroom? It felt too soon for that, yet the idea filled her with curiosity. Was that her idea of waiting until they knew what they wanted—taking him to bed?
That was the old Abi. She didn’t want to be that person anymore.
Beside her Adam reached up and placed a small, sticky hand on Will’s cheek. “Will, is your face ever gonna look normal?”
“Adam!” Abi scolded. “That’s not a nice thing to say.”
“It’s okay,” Will said and told Adam, “It’s a scar. It won’t ever go away.”
Adam considered that for a second. At three, the concept of time, of forever, was often lost on him. “You got burned?”
“That’s right.”
Adam’s eyes widened. “By acid?”
“Adam,” Abi said in a stern voice. “You know it was a fire. I’ve told you a dozen times.”
Will grinned and chucked him under the chin. “Burned by acid is more exciting though, isn’t it, sport?”
Adam nodded enthusiastically, his dark head bobbing up and down.
Most men would have been exasperated by the endless questions Adam asked, uncomfortable with his insatiable need for attention. Will was so patient and understanding.
So…natural.
That didn’t mean he would be anything more than a good babysitter. It took more than that to be a father. Not that he was auditioning for the role or anything. Which made it that much more special. He wasn’t trying to impress her. He was just being himself.
She gave herself a mental shake. She shouldn’t even be thinking about things like that. They were nowhere near that point in their relationship—might never be. And after his visit at the retreat was over, they may never see each other again.
Adam stared intently at Will’s face. “Did it hurt a lot?”
“It sure did.”
“More than a bee sting?”
“Probably more like a thousand bee stings,” he said and Adam’s eyes went wide. “That’s why you should never play with matches or fire. It’s very dangerous.”
Adam poked him lightly in the chee
k. “Does it hurt?”
“No. It gets itchy sometimes, though.”
“When a ’squito bites me and it gets itchy, mommy puts the pink stuff on. Maybe she could put it on your face.”
“Pink’s not exactly my color, but I appreciate the offer.” Will grinned and ruffled Adam’s hair. There was so much affection in the gesture, Abi felt tears push to the surface. She thought for sure she was going to lose it right there in the park. He probably had no idea what it meant to Adam, what it meant to her.
“Mommy, can I play in the sand?”
She swallowed and said, “Sure, honey. Just be careful.”
Adam grabbed the action figure Will had bought him at the local toy store, hopped up and darted in the direction of the sand and play equipment, where half a dozen other kids played. When Abi turned back to Will, he was gazing off in the direction of the trees bordering the north end of the park, eyes searching, as if he were looking for something…or someone.
“Anything wrong?” she asked.
He turned back to her, and she saw that Adam’s hand had left a smudge of ice cream and dirt on his cheek. “Huh? No, nothing is wrong. Just…thinking.”
She grabbed her backpack and rifled through it for a wet wipe. She found a pack under her pepper spray, pulled one free and held it out for him to take. “Adam got dirt on your face,” she said.
Instead of taking the wipe, he tipped his cheek toward her and asked, “Could you get it?”
She didn’t know why, but the idea of touching his face, even if it was only to wipe it clean, felt so…intimate. And he knew it, she could tell by the look in his eyes. He was testing her.
She leaned over and gently dabbed at his cheek.
He closed his eyes and sighed. “Feels nice.”
She lingered there, several seconds after she’d wiped the last of it away, then tucked the soiled cloth in the front pocket of her pack. “I thought you couldn’t feel much on that side.”
“I could feel that.” He looked up at her, desire swimming in the depths of his eyes. “Even when I’m not touching you, I can still feel you, Abi. Do you know what I mean?”
She nodded. She knew exactly what he meant. It was an aura of sexual energy that crackled between them whenever they were close.
His eyes searched her face, a long, lazy exploration that made her feel naked, stripped bare emotionally. Finally he zeroed in on her mouth. She knew what he wanted even before he said it.
“I would really like to kiss you right now. Even though I know I shouldn’t.”
“I would, too,” she admitted, feeling warm with desire, as if she were drowning in estrogen. His mouth was inches away. It would be so easy to lean forward and press her lips to his. But Adam might see and become even more confused. And it wasn’t unusual for guests or staff to visit the city on free days. Being here together looked suspicious enough. A kiss would start a gossip frenzy.
Will folded a hand around hers, rubbing the inside of her wrist with his thumb, setting fire to her insides. Men had touched her more intimately, more scandalously than she cared to remember or admit, but no one had turned her on as thoroughly as Will did. Much more of this and she was afraid she would melt.
“The truth is, I’d like to do more than kiss you,” he said. At the look in his eyes—as if she was the most desirable woman on the planet—she almost did melt right there on the blanket into a quivering puddle of female hormones.
Men had desired her, that was nothing new. But she didn’t think they’d ever really seen her, seen past the teased hair and tight clothing to the real woman inside. She’d never let them. Or maybe Will was the only one who’d looked hard enough.
“So would I,” she said and his hand tightened around hers.
“What you do to me…” He shook his head, looking as perplexed by this as she was. “I’ve never felt this way about a woman. I know that sounds like a line—a really lousy one—but I don’t know how else to say it.”
“I know what you mean. I don’t understand it, either.”
“It wasn’t like this with Adam’s dad?”
He almost sounded jealous and it made her smile.
“No. My relationship with Adam’s dad was one of…convenience.”
“You weren’t married?”
“No. He wasn’t the settling-down type. We wanted very different things from life.”
“You said he wouldn’t have been much of a father.”
“He would have tried. He would have loved Adam and taken care of him, but sometimes that isn’t enough.” She hugged her legs and rested her chin on her knees. She didn’t even like to think what her life would be like if she were still with Adam’s father. Didn’t want to remember that phase in her life at all. Some things were better left alone. “There are people who just aren’t meant to be parents.”
“So you’re saying it’s better that Adam didn’t know him? I’m not being judgmental,” he added quickly. “Just curious.”
She knew what it was like to grow up without a father, to be the only one in her class without a mommy and a daddy, to fake a stomachache on bring-your-daddy-to-school day so the other kids wouldn’t look at her and whisper. It was horrible and lonely, but a bad father could be far worse than no father at all.
“I’m saying that I believe everything happens for a reason. I was probably better off not knowing my father, either.”
“You’ve never tried to find him?”
Hard to find someone who didn’t have a name. “I was the product of too much tequila and a one-night stand in a cheap hotel. Mama didn’t get a name. She was only seventeen.”
“You have an accent,” Will said, sounding surprised.
She made a face. That happened sometimes when she got caught up in the past and she hated it. It made her sound too much like her old self, the one she wanted to forget. “Yeah. We lived in the South for a while when I was growing up. It sneaks through every now and then.”
“It’s cute. It fits you somehow.”
Absolutely nothing about the way she used to be was cute. And she was letting this conversation ruin what so far had been the best day she’d had in a very long time. “How about your parents? What are they like?”
“My father was a drill sergeant. My mom was a housewife. He spent most of their marriage ordering her around. She spent it doing what he asked.”
“Did you get along with him?”
“Every over-the-top, hard-assed cliché you’ve seen on television of a drill sergeant—that was my dad. He didn’t get along with anyone.”
By Will’s harsh tone, it was clear there was a great deal of animosity there. She could relate.
“No siblings?” she asked.
“Nope. Could we possibly change the subject? Talking about family puts me in a rotten mood.”
Well, they had that much in common.
He curled a hand around her ankle, stroking it with his thumb, and flashed a sexy, crooked smile. “Can we go back to talking about kissing instead?”
A shadow fell over them as someone walked up and a familiar voice said, “My, my, this is cozy.”
Will let go of Abi’s ankle and sat up. He recognized the girl from the retreat. Cindy somebody. From the first time he’d seen her he’d had the feeling she was a problem teen, and Abi had confirmed that. She wore her bad attitude like a badge of honor. He didn’t doubt she was there to cause trouble.
Behind her, looking uncomfortable, stood the new retreat counselor. The one who wasn’t a member of the Sardoni family. Will wondered if they had been the ones he’d seen lurking through the woods bordering the park.
“What can I do for you, Cindy?” Abi gazed up at the girl, looking more than a little annoyed. Then she saw Tom standing behind her and the look went from annoyed to peeved. “Hello, Tom.”
“Hey, Abi.” He shifted uncomfortably, as if he knew he’d screwed up.
Cindy crossed her arms over her chest. “Hmm, I wonder what the other staff would think if they knew you w
ere here playing touchy-feely with a guest.”
Will sensed trouble and made a move to get up, but Abi rose to her feet first. Despite being shorter than both Cindy and Tom, in attitude alone she towered over them.
Whoa.
He’d been all prepared to come to her rescue, but she clearly didn’t need rescuing.
“Where is your father, Cindy?” Abi looked ready to bite their heads off, but her voice was dead calm, intimidatingly so. She was usually so friendly and patient with the kids. It looked as if maybe her patience had finally run out, at least where Cindy was concerned.
“He’s probably at the retreat playing golf,” Cindy said. Her words had bite, but her wary expression said she realized she’d pushed too far.
“Does he know you’re here?”
The girl glanced away and shrugged.
Abi’s expression darkened. “Is that a yes or a no?”
Double whoa. If the kid knew what was good for her, she’d give up the tough act.
“Even if he did, he wouldn’t care,” Cindy snapped.
Abi turned to Tom, barely contained anger hovering just below the surface, and the kid went pale with fear. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how inappropriate it is that you’ve brought a minor guest here without her father’s permission.”
“Whoa, Abi, I didn’t bring her here. I was here and we ran into each other.”
“How did you get here, Cindy?”
Cindy flashed her a defiant look and held up a thumb. Will shook his head. The kid apparently had no clue how dangerous it was to hitchhike, especially in such a remote area. Or maybe she didn’t care. Maybe it was some sort of ploy to get her father’s attention. One that could have easily gotten her raped or murdered and dumped in a ditch.
“Mr. Bishop and I are going to take you back,” Abi said.
Looked as though their pleasant afternoon was over. Will stood and started folding the blanket.
“What makes you think you can boss me around?” Cindy said. “You’re not my mother.”
“Tom,” Abi said, “would you please go fetch Adam for me? He’s playing in the sand.”
Out of Sight Page 12
