Currently, I was hating that he was covering it all up. All I could do was forlornly watch as he put what I was starting to consider his lawyer costume back on, while I sat on the edge of his bed wearing nothing but his ARMY T-shirt and some seriously tousled-sex hair. He looked down at his bare chest after my outburst and then looked back up at me and shrugged.
“When I was in law school I did an internship for the state attorney general’s office. There was this guy there named Alexander Carsten. He had a bunch of tattoo work done that was really impressive. When I passed the bar, I decided I needed to do something to commemorate my life finally going in the direction I wanted it to.”
I lifted my eyebrows at him. “The tattoo was your big rebellion before you decided to grow up?”
He shook his head sharply and that wayward lock of blond hair that refused to be tamed fell into his pale blue gaze. “No, my act of rebellion was joining the Army. It was the last thing my folks expected me to do.” I opened my mouth to ask him what had happened in his family because it was the second time he mentioned them being disappointed in his choice to enlist but he kept going, apparently not wanting to talk about his bitter break from his past. “I made an appointment with Alex’s guy, a kid with a purple Mohawk and a pierced lip named Rule Archer. I told him I wanted something that represented where I had been and where I was going. He knocked the design out of the park, so I didn’t care that it was this big. Very few people ever see it.”
I laughed a little and reached out to pull him closer to me by the belt buckle he had fastened. I started to work on closing the buttons on his shirt, but I may have spent more time petting his seriously defined stomach muscles than I did actually helping him get ready. “I actually know Rule pretty well. His older brother, Rome, is the guy my dad sold the bar to. Rome’s the guy that had to fire me for stealing from the register.” I made a face as I got halfway done with the buttons. “He’s the guy that’s still pretty pissed at me and that I need to apologize to. If there’s any way I can make it up to him, I need to figure out how to do that. Rome is like the son my dad never had. I can’t have him hating me forever.”
I sighed and rose to my feet in front of him so I could finish closing the buttons. When I got to the ones at the base of his throat I lifted up onto my tiptoes so I could press my lips to the strong cords of his neck before buttoning him all the way up. I really did like the suit, but I definitely liked him better out of it.
I tilted my face up towards him as he put his hands on either side of my face and used his thumbs to caress my cheeks. We had weathered the emotional storm that pounded against us yesterday, and the calm and quiet of the aftermath was something entirely new to me. I wanted to bask in it, absorb it, and let some of that tranquillity that had sunk into my bones calm the chaos that always seemed to rage and collide inside of me.
“I doubt he hates you. You need to give people the chance to forgive you, Avett. You screw up, but then you throw up a wall and wallow in the blame, so deep and thick that you never give anyone the opportunity to tell you that yes, you made a mistake but that’s not the be-all and end-all of things.” His fingers moved to my jaw and I wanted to rub my face against his warm hand and gentle touch like a cat. “You accept the consequences of your actions like a champ, now you need to learn to accept the exoneration as well.” He was sexy when he spoke lawyer to me.
I’d never thought I deserved to be forgiven, so it never occurred to me that anyone besides my father, the one person that had always loved me unconditionally, would be waiting with a pardon and an open heart after all the damage I was capable of creating. I cleared my throat and forced a weak smile. “What I need to do is let you finish getting ready for work. Are you sure you have time to drop me off at my mom’s on your way to court?”
He had offered to let me stay at his place since it was a secure building with a doorman and a security staff, but there was no way I was going to risk breaking or ruining anything in his swanky pad. I was afraid to touch anything, even though he told me no less than ten times to make myself at home and relax. So, since this was as far from home as I could ever be and considering there was no way I was going to relax, I was going to my mom’s house and raiding her closet and hopefully burying the hatchet with her while he went to work. He wasn’t thrilled with my decision. I think he really wanted me to like his space and I did, as long as he was in it. Without him in the elegant and tricked-out loft, I felt like an intruder, like the expensive finishes and imported floor knew I didn’t deserve the right to use them. It might be entirely irrational but I had no desire to spend the day tucked in one spot because I was afraid the appliances would revolt against me and run me out of the place screaming.
“I told you, I’ll make the time to drop you off and I’ll make the time to take you shopping afterwards, if you want to go.” He lifted a blond eyebrow at me in question.
I’d already told him no. I didn’t want him to buy anything for me. Considering how much my family already owed him, the idea of him spending anything else on me made my skin tight and my tummy turn in on itself. It was already going to take a lifetime to pay him back because there was no way I was going to let my dad drain his retirement, on top of losing his home, and all his earthly possessions. I was going to have to figure out a way to pay Quaid back for everything and I wasn’t about to add to that tally.
“I told you.” I reached out and ran my hand over the front of his pants. I heard him suck in a surprised breath as I palmed his impressive package and gave it a squeeze for good measure. “I’m after what’s in your pants, not what’s in your wallet, Quaid.”
I grinned up at him as the flesh in my grip started to swell and rise into my hand. It was an insanely powerful feeling to know that I could make a man that seemed so collected and controlled react instantaneously to a simple touch. I liked that his composure was nowhere to be found when I put my hands on him. I liked that he didn’t think; he simply reacted to me and to how I made him feel.
His thick fingers encircled my wrist and I thought he was going to pull my hand away, but he didn’t. He pressed my palm even flatter against the now fully extended length of his cock under the fabric of his pants and rubbed it back and forth.
“I’m offering you both.” He virtually growled the words at me and when I looked up at him his eyes were almost silver with the way they glowed and lightened as his desire flared to life deep in the depths. He was offering me both, but he didn’t understand why, any more than I did.
We were watching each other intently. There was no veil there, no place for either of us to hide anymore. He knew I was a disaster and I knew he was so much more than he seemed to think he was. I hadn’t lied to him yet, so I wasn’t about to start now.
I moved my other hand to his belt and told him the truth. “I just want you.” And in case my words weren’t enough to prove it to him, I had no problem showing him.
Eyes still locked together, I pushed him back a step so that I could get on my knees in front of him. I kept waiting for him to tell me to stop—after all, he was due in court, and we did have a schedule to keep. But he didn’t utter a peep as I worked the buttery leather of his belt loose, and he didn’t make a sound as I popped the button on his pants or when I pulled the zipper down. He also didn’t protest when I rubbed my cheek against his hot, cotton-covered flesh as I reached for his black boxer briefs. He did thread his fingers on one hand through my multicolored hair and exhale a breath that sounded like it had every ounce of control he possessed in it. I told him to keep the tails of his meticulously ironed shirt out of my way as I eyed that intimidating bulge.
I kissed each of his hip bones and tickled that sexy V that cut down towards the cock I was slowly revealing. The end of my nose brushed through the springy, golden hair that arrowed right at his throbbing flesh and his fingers were rough as they scraped impatiently across my scalp. He was impatient and so was his dick. The long and rigid flesh pulsed with its own kind of life and need as it fell
into my waiting hands once I had him completely uncovered.
Quaid’s cock was a lot like the rest of him, graceful in its length and size; if there was such a thing as a well-made dick, this was it. It was sturdy in the way it bobbed happily away from his corded abs and into my eager hands and it was secure in the way it knowingly pulsed and pearled up in anticipation with the first swipe of my tongue across the sensitive head.
I swirled my tongue around and around as I tasted him and learned him. I wrapped my fist around the base of his erection and tightened my hold until his hips bucked and he shoved himself into my welcoming mouth. I would have giggled at his impatience, but I’d never had an executive cock in my mouth before so I wanted to make sure I had time to savor the experience.
I sucked on him, explored every ridge and detail with my tongue. I bathed the firm flesh in moisture and used my hand to add a different element as he curled a wide palm around the back of my head and started to move my head in the rhythm he wanted. That was the difference between an executive and an intern. An executive showed you what to do; they instructed you in the best and most efficient way to get the job done. An intern showed up with too many questions and inadequate skills.
I’d never had anyone actually fuck my face before, but that’s what Quaid was doing and it was one of the hottest things that had ever happened to me in the bedroom. It was unbelievably arousing to have him being the one that was wild and sweet.
He told me to open wider. He told me to suck him harder. He told me to take more of him in and to squeeze him even harder. But he also told me I was amazing. He told me my mouth felt like a dream. He told me that his hands wrapped up in my pink hair was going to make him blow. He told me he had imagined what I would look like on my knees in front of him for weeks and the reality was so much better. His wild was superhot, but it was his sweet that had me wet and aching between my own legs. If I wasn’t so focused on him and so consumed with making this as good as I could for him, I would have slipped my free hand under the T-shirt and gotten myself off while I swallowed as much of him down as I could.
To stay on task and not get distracted by my own sudden and sharp arousal, I skimmed my free hand over the rock-hard curve of his ass and tickled my way between his legs. He swore loudly when I brushed my knuckles across his tautly drawn sac, and because his voice was strained and his hands were getting harder on my head, I could tell he was close. I sucked until my cheeks hollowed out and used the flat of my tongue to lap at the salty moisture that was leaking out of his tip. Even his taste seemed more refined and more palatable than anyone else I had ever been with like this before.
He growled my name above my head as he lost control of his steady motion and began to practically grind himself into my mouth. I cupped the sensitive spheres that hung heavy between his strong thighs in my hands and rolled them lightly across my palms. That was all it took to push him over the edge.
He didn’t warn me. He didn’t give me the choice to stay or go. He didn’t do anything but pull me closer and hold me to him in an almost desperate motion as he pumped into my mouth. He said my name on a long sigh as I moved my hands to either side of his hips and took what he was giving to me.
When he stilled and I pulled back with a smug grin on my face, I thought he was going to tell me that it had been fun but now we needed to haul ass to get back on track for the day. I wasn’t expecting him to pull me to my feet or for him to forcibly back me into the bed. His eyes blazed at me with winter-colored fire and I lost all the air in my lungs when he pulled the borrowed T-shirt over my head and made himself at home between my legs.
I was already wet but at the first kiss of his mouth against my tender folds I went torrential. Bringing him pleasure and knowing I was the one that had made him lose control had me at the edge of coming already, so he wasn’t going to have to do much to get me the rest of the way there. I moaned at the ceiling and felt no shame in writhing against his working mouth to get some kind of relief for the coiled tension that was tight throughout my entire body. Sucking a guy off had never been such a turn-on. It was my turn to twine my fingers in his thick, blond hair and pull him closer to me as I rode his mouth like it was a carnival ride. When he added his fingers to the party and used his teeth on my already primed clit, I burst across his thrusting fingers with a flood of desire that felt like it would never end.
When the heaving chests and racing hearts started to slow, I pushed myself up on my elbows and looked at him as he pulled himself up so that he was standing between my splayed legs as he tucked his shirt into his pants and refastened his belt. He looked a little rumpled and a little sexed up, but in my personal opinion it made the suit that much sexier. He bent over me and braced himself on his hands so that our noses were almost touching.
“Everything in my life is always about who has what or who is trying to get what from someone else. Every day it’s who did this or who did that and it gets really fucking old, Avett. I don’t want there to be a set of checks and balances between us.”
I gulped a little bit and reached up so I could put a hand on his smoothly shaved cheek. “You know that isn’t possible, right? We do not come from the same place.”
He narrowed his eyes at me and I shivered at the chill that emanated from them. “Maybe not, but when we’re in bed together, we are definitely in the same place. It’s not what you have that matters here, and it’s not what I have that matters. All that matters is what we have together. Where you’ve been and what you’ve done don’t exist here and the same goes for me. The only thing that counts is that we’re here and what we do while we are in this moment.”
I moved my thumb so that I could stroke it across his lower lip. It was still damp and shiny from the very thorough loving he had just bestowed upon me. That was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me, but I knew the truth, and the truth was that everything we did before mattered, and he and I would never be on equal footing, even in bed. He was an executive, and while I wasn’t exactly an intern, there was definitely room for upward movement. Whenever I was with him I felt like I was learning something new—about him, about myself, and most definitely about what sex and intimacy could be like, if you weren’t using it to hurt.
“You have to get to work and I already made you late.” It wasn’t what he wanted; I could see that in his eyes as they went a colder shade blue as he pulled himself up and off of me. I didn’t have much to offer a man like Quaid Jackson, so the truth was going to have to suffice, even if it made him look at me like he regretted not letting me fire him from the beginning.
“SO THE LAWYER? What’s going on there?” My mom’s voice was curious but also cautious as she asked me the question. I could see her hoping my answer was that I’d finally found a man that would keep me out of trouble, but the more time I spent with Quaid, in bed and out of it, I realized he was the biggest trouble I had ever waded my way into. The fall when things imploded with him might very well be the end of me.
I barely heard her over the disbelief and wonder that had me stunned stupid and stuck on the spot as I gazed at the bounty of stuff that was covering the small twin bed that had been mine whenever I stayed with her when I was younger. I hadn’t been inside of this room since I was a teenager and to see it covered in clothing and essentials from top to bottom had me overwhelmed with emotion.
I had a hand to my throat and was fighting really hard to blink back tears as I turned to look at her. “I can’t believe they did this. I can’t believe they cared enough to do something so nice after I’ve been nothing but terrible to them.”
There was no need to raid my mom’s closet for the bare essentials because all of the girls that belonged to all of my father’s boys had shown up in full force with every single thing I would need to survive the loss of everything I owned. There were more clothes than I owned before the fire, some new with visible tags and some worn and comfy looking. There were shoes and socks. There were undergarments that ranged from practical to sassy. The
re was stuff that looked soft and welcoming to sleep in. There was makeup and junk for my hair. There was a brush and hair dryer. There was a toothbrush. I hadn’t even thought about the fact I would need a toothbrush, until this morning, when I had to use my finger to brush my teeth at Quaid’s place.
The girls had gone out of their way to make sure I had a little bit of everything I lost, and I was so touched, so humbled, that I couldn’t even function. My mom put her hand on my arm and I looked at her as she smiled at me.
“Your father has a knack for finding the good ones, and those girls …” She spoke about the wonderful women that had done this for me, and I saw something in her face that I never saw when she talked about me or to me—pride. “They have some of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen. They have to in order to put up with those stubborn and wonderful men they chose to love.”
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