“You gon’ be all right, baby girl,” Ms. D said, putting her arm around Kim. “You can’t dwell on it. What’s done is what’s done. You gotta keep it moving now,” she said, rubbing Kim’s back.
The more Kim thought about it, the worse she felt. The tears began to pour out of her eyes as the reality of the situation set in. “I . . . I killed my baby,” Kim cried, lifting her head up to look at Ms. D. “Oh, God, I killed my baby,” she continued, now bawling her eyes out.
“Shhhhhh. Everything is going to be okay,” Ms. D said, laying Kim’s head on her shoulder.
It was an emotional moment for Kim, and even the tough, hard as nails Ms. D couldn’t hold back her tears. She felt for Kim, but she also knew that this was part of being a woman. This was something Kim had to stand by and live with for the rest of her life. No matter what happened in her life from this point on, she would never forget this day. This was going to be her life-changing moment.
* * *
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Fox asked, looking over at Falisha sitting in the passenger seat.
Falisha stared aimlessly out of the window at the medical center and thought about the last time she was there, terminating a pregnancy at the age of fifteen. “Can I ask you something?” Falisha said as she continued looking out of the window.
“Naw, shawty. I can’t help you make up ya mind on dis one. You gotta put ya big girl panties on and make ya own choice,” Fox told her, eliminating himself from the equation.
Falisha looked over at him and wanted his advice bad, but the truth of the matter was that Fox was right. Falisha just had to make the choice on her own whether to get another abortion. One thing she could count on was Fox keeping it real with her at all times. That’s the reason why she confided in him of all people with her secret. Fox wasn’t going to judge her, no matter what decision she made, nor was he going to leave her stranded at a time like this.
“Look, Falisha, whatever you decide to do, I’ma roll out wit’ you. I told you a long time ago that I got mad love for you, and I meant that.”
Falisha looked at him and smiled. It was very comforting to know that she had somebody like Fox in her corner. She turned to look out of the window again, and right before she was about to open the door to walk across the parking lot, Ms. D pulled Kim’s car up in front of the building. At first Falisha thought that she was trippin’ but then Ms. D exited the car and walked up to the glass double doors where Kim was standing. Ms. D helped the still crying Kim to the car, got her into the passenger seat, then pulled off.
Falisha didn’t have to wonder about what had just taken place. She was still too familiar with the process of getting an abortion, and knew that Kim coming out of the abortion clinic, crying her eyes out, and MS. D being the designated driver, could only equal up to one thing: a termination. It blew Falisha’s head back to have witnessed it with her own eyes. After seeing this, it made Falisha’s decision a little easier.
“So whatcha gon’ do, shawty?” Fox asked, unaware of what had just gone down.
She sat there quiet for a moment, allowing everything to register. She knew how bad she felt, even at the young age of fifteen. Every time she saw Lisa’s and Tammy’s children, she always wondered, what if she had kept hers? Would it have been a boy or girl? Would it have looked just like her or the father? “Nah, yo. I think I’m good,” Falisha said, reaching for her seat belt. “Let’s get out of here before I do something I might regret.”
Chapter 32
Lisa sat up in the bed, inching her way to the edge of it. She sat there, looking down at the patch on her stomach covering the bullet wound. Right when she was about to get up, Ralphy walked into the room, stopping her before she could get to her feet.
“Come on, Lisa. Chill out, yo. Whatever you need, just let me know,” Ralphy said, pulling his arm out of the sling. “The doctor said that you still need to rest.”
Lisa smiled at how good it felt to be catered to by Ralphy again. She missed him so much, and so did Naomi. Having him home just felt right. “Can I ask you something?” Lisa said, looking up at him.
“Yeah, what’s going on?” he asked, taking a seat next to her on the bed.
“Who was that? I mean, who were those men who shot us, and what was it about?” Lisa had been curious about that the whole time she was laid up in the hospital, and the way the detectives questioned her about Ralphy’s involvement made her a little concerned.
“I don’t know who those niggas were,” Ralphy answered and, right there, Lisa knew that he wasn’t telling the truth.
“You know you can’t lie to me,” Lisa said, raising her hand up to the back of his head and smacking it playfully. “Just tell me that we’re safe.”
Ralphy looked over at her with a serious face. “Yeah, you’re safe, and I don’t want you to worry about that situation. I’ma take care of it,” he assured her.
That was a problem in itself, because Lisa was well aware of how ugly the streets could get. The hood didn’t have any picks when it came down to killing, and since Ralphy was back on the block, he was now fair game, and subject to be held for court on the streets.
* * *
Lamar looked into the glass case, staring at a nice ring that caught his eye. He’d been in Tiffany’s for over forty-five minutes looking for the perfect ring. The bank employees thought that he was going to rob them the way he browsed around without saying a word.
“Can I see that ring?” he asked the older white lady standing behind the glass.
She hesitated for a moment then called over to a male employee, Tim, to assist her. Lamar could see that she was a little nervous, so he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a wad of money and placed it on the glass counter.
“Don’t be so quick to judge black people,” he looked over and told the lady, then turned back to Tim. “I’m looking for an engagement ring for my girl, and I like that one,” Lamar said, pointing to the ring.
Tim pulled the ring from the display case and set it on the glass. He felt a little bad for how his fellow employee had treated Lamar, so he tried to be as kind and pleasant as he could to make up for it. “This is a beautiful ring. It’s a two-karat princess cut, surrounded by a half karat of canary diamonds,” he said, passing Lamar the ring.
Lamar looked at the ring and then at its price tag. It cost a little more than five grand. Money truly wasn’t the issue at hand. His real concerns came as he fought with himself over whether he was ready to make this kind of commitment this early on in the relationship. Things had been going well for him and Kim, but was proposing the right move at this point? There was no question whether Lamar loved her, because there wasn’t a day that went by when he didn’t think about starting a family with her. He just wasn’t sure if Kim was on the same page; and he didn’t want to make a fool of himself asking her to marry him if she were to say no. Rejection never sat well with him, and he didn’t know how he would take it if it happened. The crazy part about it was that Lamar loved Kim so much he was willing to take a chance, even if it cost him $5,300.
* * *
Ralphy turned his head from the stove as he sat in the kitchen cooking Lisa something to eat. He grabbed his gun off the kitchen counter and took the safety off then tucked it into his back pocket. He wasn’t taking any chances, and wasn’t about to get caught slipping again. He walked over to the front window and peeked out the curtains. It was Falisha and Tammy, standing on the porch.
“Hey, ladies. If you’re looking for Lisa, she’s—”
“Boy, if you don’t move out the way . . .” Falisha said, pushing right by Ralphy.
“We just got off the phone with her.” Tammy smiled, smacking Ralphy in his gut with the back of her hand, as she too brushed by him.
Ralphy’s shoulder hurt too much to even play around with the girls. Besides, Falisha was already at the top of the steps before Ralphy got the front door shut.
“Hey, bitch!” Falisha yelled out playfully when she walked into Lisa�
��s bedroom.
“Hey, crazy,” Lisa responded, giving Falisha a kiss on her cheek. “I thought you and Tammy was going shopping.”
“We were,” Tammy cut in as she entered the room. “We just came to chill out wit’ you for a minute,” she said, leaning in to give Lisa a soft hug and a kiss.
Lisa reached over and grabbed the joint that was sitting in the ashtray. She wasn’t too big on taking pain killers, or any kind of pill for that matter, so she turned to Ms. D’s remedy, which was the cannabis.
“Oh, you gangsta. You got shot and you smokin’ weed now,” Tammy said, sitting on the bed next to Lisa.
Lisa took two pulls then tried to pass it to Falisha. “Nah, I’m good,” Falisha said, waving the smoke from in front of her face.
Lisa put an eyebrow up at her, then looked over at Tammy, who looked off, trying her best not to blurt out Falisha’s business. It only made Lisa even more curious. “What’s wrong with you?” Lisa asked, taking another puff of the weed before putting it back in the ashtray.
Falisha took a seat on the bed on the other side of Lisa. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to let the whole world know that she was with child, but after considering the fact that she was going to keep it, it wasn’t going to do any harm letting her girls know. She only wanted to keep the news away from Lamar.
“Girl, I’m pregnant,” Falisha announced to her, shocking the hell out of Lisa.
“Pregnant? Who in da hell is crazy enough to knock you up?” Lisa chuckled through the pain in her stomach.
“It’s by Lamar, but please don’t say anything.”
Falisha got quiet when she heard Ralphy coming down the hallway. He had Lisa’s baked tilapia fish and sautéed vegetables on a tray, along with some apple juice and Patrón. He also brought fresh bandages for Lisa’s wound. He had Lisa covered.
“A’ight, we ain’t gonna interrupt y’all little family time,” Falisha said, jumping up from the bed, not wanting Ralphy to hear anything about her pregnancy. “You want something from the mall while we’re out?” she asked.
Lisa shook her head, still smiling from the news. She got her hugs and kisses and watched as Falisha and Tammy made their speedy exit. If it weren’t for Ralphy standing there looking handsome as he wanted to, Lisa would have gotten some more of the juicy gossip she’d missed out on while she was laid up in the hospital.
* * *
Johanne walked out of the supermarket with two bags of groceries in her arms. When she got to the car and put the bags in the back seat, she pulled out her phone to call Ralphy and see if he’d be coming home for dinner tonight. He hadn’t been there for a few days, but Johanne was optimistic about tonight, because he gave her his word that he would come.
“Yo, shawty,” a deep voice said from behind while Johanne was leaning up against the driver side door. She looked back and saw a young black guy leaning against the passenger side door, looking right at her. He was rough looking, too. He was black as motor oil with two missing teeth in the front and a scruffy beard to match the nappy hair he had on his head. Before she could say anything, another rough-looking man walked up to her from the side. He was a little more clean cut, but the scar running down the center of his eye made it look like he’d been through some things in the streets. Johanne looked around to see if anybody else was coming out of the woodwork.
“Where’s ya li’l boyfriend at?” the man who walked up from the side asked. “Think about it,” he warned, lifting his shirt up slightly so Johanne could see the butt of his gun.
“Hello! Hello!” Ralphy yelled into the phone. Johanne forgot that she had dialed Ralphy’s number and still had the phone to her ear the whole time. She thought about dropping the phone and running across the parking lot, but decided against it, not wanting to risk being shot in the back. So Ralphy could hear what was going on, Johanne let the call run; but she took the phone away from her ear.
“I don’t know where Ralphy’s at. I haven’t seen him in a few days. Please don’t hurt me,” Johanne pled.
“You think it’s a fuckin’ game. Bitch, I’ll blow ya fuckin head off,” the man said, pulling his gun from his waist and resting it on the side of his thigh.
“I swear, I don’t know where he’s at,” she cried, looking around to see if somebody would notice she was in danger and come to her aid.
Where she was parked, nobody could see what was going on. Ralphy sat there listening to the whole confrontation, wishing he could jump through the phone and start blasting. All he could do was sit and listen, and hope that they would let her go.
“Next time you see ya boyfriend, give him this message for me.”
“Please, I’m pregnant,” Johanne yelled.
The gunman let off a single shot, hitting Johanne in her shin. She fell to the ground, dropping the phone and her car keys in the process. She held on to her leg, yelling out in pain as the gunmen walked over and stood over her. She knew for sure that this was it, and in what she knew were her last moments on earth, she called out the only name she could think of: “Ralphy!”
The phone went dead before Ralphy could yell back into the phone.
Lisa looked over at him standing by the bedroom window with a distraught look on his face. She knew that something was wrong and wanted to ask him what it was, but by the time Lisa finished swallowing her food to clear her mouth out, Ralphy was headed out of the room, only saying that he’d be back in a couple of hours.
* * *
Lamar pulled up to the block, only to see Ralphy’s Range Rover driving down the street. He beeped his horn at him a couple of times, but Ralphy kept moving. Lamar wanted to get the opinion of a once-married man, to see if the whole husband and wife thing was as good as some people said.
When he got in the house, Kim was lying down in the bed, balled up under the sheets. She wasn’t exactly asleep, but was more daydreaming about how her life would have changed if she had kept the baby.
“What? You got off work early today?” Lamar said, diving into the bed next to her.
“Yeah, I took off a half day. I’m not feeling good,” Kim said, closing her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at Lamar.
“Awwwweeee! My baby sick right now,” Lamar said in a playful manner, leaning over and kissing her. “You know, I been thinking about a lot of stuff as of late and I wanted to run a few things by you to get your take,” he said, reaching into his back pocket and grabbing the small suede box containing the ring he’d just bought.
“Not right now, babe. My period is on, and I don’t feel like doing anything but lying here and going to sleep,” Kim said, turning over and giving Lamar her back.
Lamar could see that now probably wasn’t the best time for him to pop the question. It was frustrating, because he’d waited all day and rehearsed his words a thousand times, hoping that they would come out the way he’d planned. Now that he was lying beside her, the mood was the only thing that wasn’t right; and instead of trying to force the issue, Lamar placed the little suede box back into his pocket, scooted up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her waist. They both eventually fell asleep without saying another word.
Chapter 33
“Mommy, Mommy, whose house is this?” little Anthony asked as he got out of the car.
“Why do you have to ask so many questions, Anthony?” Tammy said as she unstrapped Sinniyyah from her car seat.
“I wanna know who’s house it is, Mommy,” Anthony continued, looking around at the unfamiliar area. It was a far cry from where he was used to living. There had to be about twenty kids out on the street, riding their bikes and running up and down the sidewalk. Anthony had never seen this many white kids in one place before, although there were a few black children among the crowd. This definitely was something new for him.
Darious, who was in the garage with the door up, walked out to the driveway, surprised that Tammy had the kids with her. She walked up to him with Sinniyyah in her arms, waiting to see what he was going to say.
“
Are you sure?” Darious asked, wondering if she was ready to bring her kids into his life.
“Mmmm hmmmm.” She nodded, leaning in to kiss him.
This was a big step for their relationship, but Tammy felt comfortable enough to have Darious around her kids on a more permanent note; plus, she was tired of always having to find a babysitter in order to spend some quality time with her man. Tammy felt that if they were going to be together, then Darious might as well get to know the kids. He’d only seen them a couple of times, and that was due to Tammy trying to give Chris some respect by not having his kids around another man. That way of thinking had run its course, and it came by way of the fact that Darious wasn’t just another man, he was Tammy’s man and the person she planned to spend the rest of her life with. Darious being a part of her kids’ lives was inevitable, and that was something Chris was going to have to learn how to respect.
* * *
When Ralphy pulled up to the block, Scoop was in the cut, sitting on some steps a nice distance away from the heavy dopefiend traffic heading for the workers. The moment Scoop saw Ralphy pull up, he removed the gun from his waist and set it on his lap. He wasn’t sure what type of shit Ralphy was on, or if he’d put it together that he had something to do with the shooting at the dentist office, but just to be on the safe side Scoop had his gun at the ready.
“What it do, big homie,” Scoop greeted him, extending his fist for some dap, which Ralphy returned.
“Yo, I think we might have to go to war with these niggas on the west side,” Ralphy said, easing his arm out of the sling.
“War? Niggas don’t go to war like that anymore.” Scoop chuckled. “Especially when the beef is personal. And what makes you think it was the niggas from the west side?” Scoop asked, trying to see where Ralphy had come up with that idea.
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