by Abbi Hemp
Maybe I would lucky and Coach would still help or at least not throw me off the team. Would the students and faculty allow him to get rid of me?
Questions flew through my mind as I emailed Teddy a copy of the letter.
“Here it is, bro,” I wrote at the bottom. “Thanks for the help.”
I hit send then sat back in the kitchen chair.
Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?
Only time would tell.
THIRTY-SIX
James
The letter appeared in the campus newspaper the next day thanks to Teddy. It read as follows:
Dear Buffalo State Students,
Many of you know me from the football team. It pains me to say this, but I will be quitting soon. Why? Unwritten rules have put me in a terrible position. I’m being asked to choose between the two things I love most in life, football and a very special woman I met recently.
This wonderful woman means the world to me. Because of her, I’ve begun to understand love and that football may not be the most important thing in the world. I know, you’re probably surprised I would say such a thing, but it’s true.
My writing abilities are not good, but I want to publicly state that I was with Haley Harrison the other night. We were together from dusk until dawn, wrapped up in each other’s arms. She means the world to me, and I don’t care who knows anymore.
As I said, I will be quitting the team. This will affect our chances at winning the regional championship, but that doesn’t matter as much to me as my love for Haley. To Coach and everyone else I let down, I apologize, but this is the right decision.
Haley and I are in love, and that’s all that matters right now.
Yours if you will have me,
James King, Quarterback
I read it three times, hating the way it had come out. People would surely make fun of me. As I scrolled down the page, I saw the first comment. It was supportive. Over a dozen people had already commented, saying they backed me up and would protest if I got kicked off the team.
Is this really happening? Did I make the right decision?
As I sat in the Student Center food court, eating a bagel and reading the comments, my phone rang. Fuck. It’s Coach. Should I answer? I accepted the call and put the phone to my ear.
“Hey, Coach, about the letter…”
“Get your ass in my office. Now!”
He ended the call. I sighed, wondering if I should finish my bagel first or not. Compromising, I took it with me as I walked across campus toward the stadium.
* * *
As soon as I walked in, I knew it wasn’t going to be good.
“What the hell is your problem, son?” he asked.
“I’m sorry, Coach, but I love her.”
“Sorry? I thought you were serious about football and going pro.”
“I am, Coach, but…”
“No buts,” he interrupted. “Do you know how competitive it is these days? Not very many men make it all the way to the pros. You have a special talent, but you’re fucking it away!”
“I’m sorry, Coach,” I said, staring down at my feet.
“Quit fucking apologizing! I’ve been getting calls all day saying there will be protests and petitions and who knows what else if I don’t let you keep playing.”
I looked up.
“You’re going to let me play and stay in a relationship with her?”
“Of course not,” he said. “But I’m going to give you one more chance to make the right decision. Break it off with her until you both graduate. I don’t care what you do then, but I need you practicing twice as much as you are now. You don’t have time for puppy love.”
“It’s not puppy love, Coach. I love her.”
“You kids don’t know the meaning of the word.”
He glared at me in silence a moment, which made me more uncomfortable than his yelling.
“Are we on the same page?”
“Yes, Coach.”
“Good,” he said. “Go get suited up and on the field. We’re doing two scrimmage games today to prepare for the playoffs coming up.”
“But I’ve not agreed to breaking up with her. I can’t do that.”
His eyes narrowed as he stared at me.
“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
“No, Coach. I’m serious.”
He sighed and put a hand on my shoulder.
“Look, son. You’re making a huge mistake. Take it from me. I was in the same position as you many years ago.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded.
“And I choose the girl. Look where I am now.”
“You’re a great coach.”
“I know, but I would have been a better pro player. I’m sure of it, but I’ll never know for sure because I made the wrong choice. I don’t want you to make a wrong choice too.”
He squeezed my shoulder then moved his hand away. I had never seen him get so personal before. The idea of him being with a woman had never entered my mind.
“I’m not saying break it off completely, but tell her you need to cool it off for a couple years. By that time, you’ll be in position to accept offers from some pro teams. She will be more than happy to wait for you.”
“It’s not like that, Coach. She doesn’t care about the money.”
He laughed and shook his head.
“You kids these days. Think you have it all figured out, don’t you?”
“I know I love her.”
“That’s well and good, but this is your one chance to do what thousands of other players in college right now can’t do … go pro. Do you want to throw that away, James?”
“No, Coach.”
“Exactly. The best way to do it is leave her alone. Don’t even talk to her again for now. By the time the semester is over, she’ll be dying to get back with you. At that point, you can explain your long term goals with her. Trust me, son. This is for the best.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded, trying to let his advice sink in.
“Now go get ready.”
“Yes, Coach.”
At practice, I pushed all other thoughts out of my mind and concentrated on football. On my way home later, they rushed back. Coach was right. The best way to break it off with her would be to end it without any further contact, like ripping off a bandage quickly.
When the semester finally ended, I would have more time to talk with her and explain my decision to focus on football. I only had one chance to make it big. If she truly loved me, she would understand. At least that was what I told myself.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Haley
I woke up with James on my mind immediately. We hadn’t spoken in a few days, not since I had told him it was over. Maybe he had wanted to break up too?
My phone rang as I stretched in bed. I grabbed it off my nightstand, hoping to see James’ face on the screen. It was an unknown number. What the hell?
“Hello?”
“This is a collect call from the Buffalo Jail. Do you accept charges?”
“Yes,” I said then sighed.
“Haley?” Tabby asked.
“Yeah. What do you want?”
“Will you please come and bail me out? I’m so sorry about everything.”
“Are you insane? I don’t have the money to do that, but even if I did, why the hell would I do it after you told them I was with you that night?”
“Haley, I’m sorry. You were there…”
“Fuck you, Tabby!”
I ended the call and turned my phone off completely, knowing she would try to call again, whittling away at my resolve until I felt bad and helped her. She had to learn, and I had plenty of my own problems to deal with.
As I got dressed and ready for my day, James kept popping into my thoughts. I missed his body, but I also began to realize I missed his laugh and good vibes too. By the time I left the house, I was running behind, so I didn’t stop to read the campus paper like I usually did.<
br />
Walking through the Quad to my first class, a swarm of what looked like freshman rushed up to me, asking questions and shoving voice recorders and cameras in my face. What the hell is going on? I wondered as I kept walking, trying to brush them off.
“What do you think of the letter?” one asked.
“Any comments on the football program here at Buffalo State?” another woman asked.
“What are you talking about? Leave me alone. I’m late for class.”
“We just need a statement…”
“Leave her alone!” Teddy said, appearing out of nowhere.
The others scattered.
“Thanks,” I said. “You’re James’ roommate, right?”
He nodded.
“What were they going on about?”
“Damn freshman trying to get a story.”
“A story? What are you talking about?”
“You haven’t read the paper this morning?”
“No. I’m late for class.”
“Oh. You should read it.”
“Tell me while we walk,” I said, taking off toward the medical sciences building.
“He wrote a letter to the editor about you and him, professing his love.”
I stopped.
“What? You’re kidding, right?”
“No. He said it was the only way to prove your innocence.”
“I’ve not heard from him since the other night. Did he get kicked off the team?”
“No, not yet. He loves you, but his coach is all over him about this, and he told me he has to cool it off with you for a while, at least until the end of the semester.”
“It’s okay. Tell James I understand.”
“I will,” he said. “Can we talk later? Over a beer maybe?”
“Sure, call me or something,” I said as I dashed away, not wanting to be even more late.
“I don’t have your phone number,” he called out.
“I’ll meet you at Papa Jack’s at six!”
Maybe this new guy is better for me? He wasn’t as built as James, but a lower maintenance man might be better for me. Less stress and craziness sounded nice.
I rushed to the lecture hall, but I still ended up being ten minutes late. The rest of the class all turned to look at me as the squeaky door opened.
A few of them pointed and talked to each other as I sat down in the back row and slunk down in my seat. The professor, Mrs. Jones, gave me a dirty look, but she didn’t call me out.
While she lectured, I tried to pay attention, but I wasn’t able to get James out of my mind. Halfway through the class, I spotted a newspaper someone had left behind.
Using my foot, I scooted it over then reached down to pick it up. As I read his letter on the sly, tears formed in my eyes. He did love me more than football.
I hoped he wouldn’t get in trouble for writing the letter. Why hadn’t he called me or sent an email or something?
That scared me as much as the thought of not having him in my life anymore. Had he been kicked off the team?
Maybe Teddy will know more. I wasn’t sure how I would get through the rest of my classes that day, but I had to try.
THIRTY-EIGHT
Haley
After my last class, I headed to Papa Jack’s to meet with Teddy. I’d thought fate had brought us together, but maybe my destiny was to be with his roommate instead?
When I walked in the busy restaurant alone, it felt a lot different than when I had come in with James at my side. No one looked up at all as I stopped and glanced around for Teddy.
He raised his hand from a booth in the corner near the plate glass windows facing the street. I shuffled over, forcing myself to smile. When I got closer, I noticed he had company.
“Oh, hey Brian,” I said, sitting across from them facing the window.
“Hi, Haley.”
“I hope you don’t mind,” Teddy said. “He’s always complaining I don’t take him out in public.”
“I do not,” Brian said, hitting his arm.
“Have you talked to James yet?”
“No. Have you?”
He shook his head.
“Did you try to call him?”
“No,” I said then sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Teddy asked.
“That was a damn romantic letter,” Brian added.
“I know, but…I’m just not sure about him or anything anymore. He wrote that letter, sure, but what if he’s just confused and doesn’t really love me? I’m afraid to find out.”
“Uh oh,” Teddy said. “You need a drink, a little liquid courage to call him.”
“I don’t know…”
A waitress walked up.
“Two pitchers of beer and a vegetarian pizza, large.” Teddy said to the waitress then turned to me. “That okay with you?”
I nodded. The waitress left. Glancing outside at all the people walking by the front of the restaurant, I longed to be with James. Teddy and Brian were okay, but I wanted the man who loved me, the amazing man I loved back.
The waitress returned with two pitchers of beer, which I thought was way too much for three people until I saw Teddy and Brian both down a glass quickly.
Before the food arrived, my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and glanced at the screen. James! I tapped the screen and put it to my ear.
“James?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’ve been waiting for you to call me.”
“I’m sorry. I saw your letter, and I don’t know what to say. Did you get kicked off the team?”
“Coach isn’t happy, but I don’t think he can throw me off the team. Whether or not he helps me get into the pros is another matter entirely.”
“We’re going to be okay,” I said confidently. “I know it.”
“Me too. Where you at? Home?”
“No, I’m at Papa Jack’s with Teddy and Brian. They’re giving me moral support and advice.”
“Ah, like they did for me last night. Tell them I said hey.”
“James said hey.”
“Hey, James,” they said in unison.
“You want to come join us?”
“No. I’m not really in the mood to be in public right now?”
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah. Can you come over after you guys are down there?”
“Yeah. I’d like to see you. We should talk.”
“I’ll see you soon,” he said.
“Bye, James.”
I ended the call, wishing the pizza would hurry the hell up.
“He loves you,” Teddy said.
“Oh yeah? How do you know this?”
“Just the way he looks at you when you’re together. He’s not said anything, but I can tell.”
I smiled.
“He said come over after we’re done. Are you two going back home?”
“We were going to go out, but we can walk with you. It’s getting late.”
“Perfect,” I said. “You two are the best.”
Derek the frat-fuck walked up as a finished my sentence.
“They’re the two biggest faggots on campus. That’s what I’ve heard.”
He cackled with laughter, obviously drunk.
“Get out of here,” I snapped. “You’re an asshole.”
“Watch it, bitch,” he said. “I still owe you one.”
Teddy stood up, puffing out his chest.
“She asked you to leave, asshole.”
Our waitress returned with our pizza.
“No fighting in here,” she said. “Take it outside.”
“Let’s go,” Derek said, thumping his chest with his fist. “I’ll fuck you both up then take her home with me and fuck her up in another way.”
“You’re not even making any sense right now,” I said.
“Fuck you too,” he said, slurring the single syllable words.
“I’m calling the cops,” the waitress said.
“Shit, I have to get out of here,” I said, looking at
Teddy. “Can we leave now?”
The waitress turned to me.
“You better pay your bill first.”
“We’ll pay it,” I said. “Let’s go, Teddy. And Brian.”
I walked over to the counter to pay my share. Teddy insisted on paying for the whole thing. Apparently, the people in the newsroom liked that he knew me, the target of James’ affections. We were the talk of the entire school.
“I’m not done with you guys,” Derek yelled from the door.
Two of his frat brothers dragged him outside.
“I’m sorry,” I said to the woman behind the cash register.
“You didn’t do anything from what I saw,” she said. “Have a good night.”
“Let’s go,” Teddy said. “He better not jump us.”
“If he does, James will end up going to jail for demolishing his face.”
“Yeah.” Teddy chuckled. “Let’s go.”
I followed him and Brian outside. We peered down the street, one direction then the other. Not seeing any sign of Derek, we headed toward the house they shared with James, the love of my life. I had read the letter he wrote so many times, I almost had it memorized.
“Let’s go this way,” Teddy said, nodding toward the path around campus. “It’s quicker.”
“Are you sure? It’s getting late.”
“You’ll be safe. Don’t worry.”
I clutched the strap of my backpack tightly as we walked down the dimly lit path with trees on both sides. What had been meant as a means to beautify the path had turned it into a dangerous area for anyone after dark.
Halfway to James’ house, I began to relax until Teddy shouted, “Watch out!”
Electricity coursed through my body. I saw a look of surprise on Teddy’s face as I blacked out.
THIRTY-NINE
James
I sat in the living room, staring blankly at the television while waiting for Haley and the others to return. Many different emotions, some I’d never felt before, whipped through my mind.
When the door opened, I sat up, desperately wanting to see her face. Teddy came inside, followed by Brian. They both rushed by, heading toward their bedroom.
