by Abbi Hemp
All that mattered in the moment inspired by the muse of sex-filled prose was getting the images down. My book would need a ton of work, but I became caught up in the excitement of creation. Even a scene of a sexual nature mattered to me. Every single word.
Just as my rhythm appeared and the words flowed, my phone rang, breaking me out of my trance. Ugh, I sighed then glanced at the phone, hoping it was Tony. I saw Kenneth’s name with no photo attached to his number. I thought about ignoring him too, but I answered.
“Hey, Kenneth.”
“Hey, Andrea. I hope I’m not bothering you.”
“Actually, I was just working on the novel.”
“Oh no! I’m sorry. I’ll let you go.”
“It’s fine,” I said, hating his insecurities. “What’s up?”
“I’m heading out to dinner, and I wondered if you wanted to join me.”
“Maybe some other time,” I said, really wanting to get back to my novel.
“I have the paperwork and your Money Order.”
“Okay, but I don’t have a lot of time. Where do you want to meet?”
“How about the Jersey Sub Shop downtown. That work?”
“Sure. I’ll see you there in about half-an-hour.”
“I can pick you up,” he said.
“No, that’s fine. I’ll meet you there. I have other plans tonight too.”
“Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed.
“I’ll see you there in thirty.”
I ended the call and stared at the screen of my laptop. The words were a blur. Why wouldn’t Tony answer my calls? Was he done with me forever? Did I even care? He was just a dumb jock. Kenneth understood me as a writer and artist.
After a moment or two sorting through all the questions in my mind, I stood and went to throw on a baggy sweatshirt to go get a late-night sub with Kenneth. He didn’t need to see me at my best. If I dressed down, he might finally get the hint that we were just friends.
If it wasn’t for the money from the publisher, I would have refused to go out so late to see him. My paychecks from the newspaper were small. Even a modest advance would help me considerably. Part of me wondered if Tony was right about him, but I pushed those thoughts aside.
Kenneth wouldn’t lie to me about something so important. If he didn’t have the advance money, I’d know he was pulling my leg and would leave. On the other hand, if he followed through, having a bite to eat with him in public wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t like Tony and I were married.
The thought of marriage had been on my mind lately, but the more I considered everything, the more I realized Tony might not make a suitable husband. Being good at fucking wasn’t enough to vow to spend the rest of my life with someone. I wanted more.
As I drove downtown to meet with Kenneth, I dreamed about life as a writer. Without having to go into the newsroom and deal with assholes like Scott, my life would be so much easier. If Tony didn’t believe in my talents, fuck him. I was done with men holding me back in life.
TWENTY-TWO
Andrea
I stood next to the restrooms with my cell pressed against my ear, hoping Tony answered. Come on, I thought. Why did I need to hear his voice so bad? It went straight to voicemail, which meant he had turned the phone off or rejected my call. Had he already found another woman?
Here goes nothing, I thought then walked over to a booth on the far side of the restaurant where Kenneth sat. He looked up and smiled as I approached. Good old Kenneth. Why can’t Tony have his manners? Or maybe Kenneth with Tony’s body? I giggled as I sat down across from him.
“What’s so funny?” he asked. “My hair sticking up?”
He patted the thinning hair on the top of his head.
“No, it’s not you,” I said.
“Do you want to go order something?”
“I’m okay for now. Did you bring the contract?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, turning to the bench beside him.
He lifted a leather shoulder bag and set it on the table. I watched as he opened the flap and pulled out a plain Manilla folder.
“I’m so excited,” I said.
It wasn’t a lie. The idea of a publishing contract made me forget about everything else on my mind.
“Here you go.” He passed the envelope to me. “The four-thousand-dollar advance is in there too. That should give you some time to dedicate to writing.”
“It’s not quit-my-job money, but it will help.”
I opened the envelope and pulled out three pages of paper stapled together.
“This is the contract?” I asked, dropping the envelope and looking at the papers.
“That’s it,” he said. “You don’t need to sign tonight. I trust you with the money.”
“I’d like to have someone look at it if you don’t mind.”
I glanced over at him. He looked away nervously.
“Not a problem.”
“Great,” I said, glancing at it a moment before setting it down to see what else was in the envelope.
I pulled out a pile of Money Orders – eight of them for five-hundred-dollars each.
“Why didn’t they just write a check?” I asked.
“It’s a long story, but it’s all on the up and up.”
We made eye contact briefly before he looked away.
“Are you expecting someone else?”
“No, why?”
“You keep looking toward the door.”
“Oh.” He laughed. “I don’t want to stare. You’re so beautiful.”
“Aww, thanks Kenneth. You’re such a sweet friend.”
“That’s what I want to talk about now.”
He reached across the table and took my hands in his, which were clammy. I looked down at them then back to his face.
“I know this is supposed to be a business meeting, but I can’t hold my feelings for you back anymore.”
I swallowed as he squeezed my hands tighter.
“I’m so in love with you, Andrea. I have been since I laid eyes on you.”
“Look, Kenneth.” I pulled my hands back and scooted to the edge of the bench. “You’re a great guy, but sometimes people just like different things.”
“It’s that fucking jock, isn’t it?” he snapped, his attitude changing in a flash.
Ugh. Why do I attract all these men who can’t control their temper?
“No, Kenneth. I’m not looking to be in a relationship with anyone right now.”
I stuffed the Money Orders and contract into the envelope as he stared at me, his brow furrowed and his bottom lip quivering.
“I’m leaving now, but we’ll talk soon, okay?”
As soon as I stood, he got to his feet and rushed over. I regretted coming to see him so late at night, even if we were in public. He put his right arm around my waist and pressed his crotch against me.
“What are you doing?” I said, struggling to get away.
“Kiss me!” he said.
His head darted forward. I turned my head, causing his lips to hit my cheek instead of their intended target. I pushed his chest, separating us.
“What the hell, Kenneth? You think because you do me a favor you can act like this?”
“You’ve done it with the football player, why not me?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
I glanced around the empty restaurant. Even the man behind the counter seem unconcerned.
“Are you telling me you didn’t fuck him already? I could tell the difference when you came to work.”
“You’re creeping me out, Kenneth. I’m leaving now.”
I spun around and headed toward the door at a fast clip.
“Hold on,” he said, grabbing my shoulder.
Aw, hell no, I thought, spinning around again.
I slapped him across the face, daring him to come at me. While I wasn’t in the same shape I’d been in college, I still worked out and would have no trouble teaching the skinny geek a lesson.
“Why the hell did you do that?” he asked, rubbing his red cheek.
“You don’t fucking grab me like that. You understand?”
“Everything okay?” the older man wearing a blue uniform asked as he leaned against the front counter.
“We’re fine,” Kenneth yelled then turned to me. “Right? I’d hate for something to happen to your book contract.”
“I don’t need this fucking money, Kenneth. You know what?” I held out the envelope. “Take it. I don’t need anything from you.”
The expression on his face changed from anger to fear in a flash, confusing me.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a weak voice. “You keep it. I’m an asshole. It’s just…You’re so…And I…”
None of his incomplete sentences made sense, but I got the gist of his message. He was in love with me, but I wasn’t in love with him. Unrequited love was the worst, but I couldn’t lead him on.
“I’m leaving now,” I said firmly. “We’ll talk about this incident later, okay?”
“Yeah,” he said then sniffed. “I’m so sorry, Andrea…”
“Goodnight, Kenneth.”
Still clutching the envelope in my right hand, I turned and walked out of the restaurant. Back in my car, I sat behind the steering wheel and took a deep breath before starting up the engine. Screw Tony, Kenneth, Scott and all the other assholes in my life.
On the drive to my house, I swore I was through with all men until I finished my novel. The sooner I could quit my job at the newspaper the better. I did not want to depend on a corporation or a man like Tony who might lose his temper and take it out on me.
I would take care of myself like any strong, modern woman. The closer I got to my empty home, the more I realized isolation wasn’t the solution. Love mattered. Even if Tony and Kenneth were both not matches, someone right for me would come along eventually.
If I told myself that enough, I might actually begin to believe it.
TWENTY-THREE
Tony
I woke up with a hangover and vague, hazy memories of the night before. Andrea had come over right before the game started. The bet. Shit. My heart sunk as the realization of my half-million-dollar debt sunk in. Did I even have that much cash available in the bank?
My head pounded as I remembered drinking a bottle of scotch. They had kicked me off the team, my love interest had freaked out on me, and I’d lost half-a-million-dollars. If more bad news hit me, I wasn’t sure what I would do. It wouldn’t be pretty, that was for sure.
Before I had a chance to wake up, I heard someone pounding on my front door. What the hell? I thought as I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Rent is paid. Maybe it’s Andrea? Where’s my phone? Not seeing it, I stood up and headed downstairs.
“Hold on,” I yelled as the knocking persisted.
When I swung the door open, my heart sank. Jackson Cash, my bookie, stood dressed in the finest tailored suit. Two hulking thugs stood behind him on the porch, staring straight ahead. They were big even for someone like me.
“Hey, Jackson, how’s it going? Some game last night, huh?”
“No bullshit,” he said, looking up at me.
A full foot shorter than me, I shouldn’t have been intimidated by him, but I didn’t want to end up in the hospital or worse. Not over a gambling debt.
“You going to invite me in, or what? Don’t you wear clothes?”
I glanced down at the boxer briefs, the only thing I had on, then stepped back. Jackson and his two thugs walked in. They didn’t take their eyes off me as they stood like two mindless drones.
“You woke me up with your pounding. I wasn’t expecting you here so soon.”
“When you lose half-a-million-dollar bet, you can rest assured the organization will be interested in your well-being until the debt is paid.”
“Have I ever not paid you, Jackson?”
I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I’d thrown some clothes on first.
“No, but you’ve never made a bet this big. And you’re not playing professional ball anymore.” He glanced around. “A pad like this is probably setting you back a pretty penny, not to mention all the cars outside and in the garage. We know you’ll pay. This is just a friendly reminder.”
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically. “Can I go get dressed?”
“I’d rather you hand me a suitcase full of cash.”
“Cash? I don’t keep that kind of money around here,” I said. “Are you kidding me?”
“I didn’t think so, but like I said, this is just a friendly reminder that you owe us.”
“Look, I don’t know where you’re getting your information, but I’m doing fine financially.” I uncrossed my arms. “In fact, why don’t you give me double or nothing on my next game.”
He peered up at me, his eyes narrow slits.
“You can cover it?” he asked.
“I’ll have to ask the organization.”
“That’s fine,” I said. “I’ll pick a game coming up.”
“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s better to pay now. If you don’t have the money…”
“I have the fucking money,” I interrupted. “Now do you mind if I go get dressed? Your goons are staring at me inappropriately.”
“We’ll be in touch soon, Mr. Carlotti.”
“Great,” I said, walking over to the door.
I held it open as they walked through. Jackson stopped on the porch and turned around.
“Soon, Mr. Carlotti. No games.”
“You’re so fucking dramatic,” I said with a chuckle. “I’ll call you soon. Or call me. Just don’t stop by unannounced anymore, okay?”
“When you owe the organization as much as you do right now, we’re going to stop by whenever we want. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, sure,” I said then nodded my head.
I closed the door, my heart pounding quickly. While I may have been able to take one of his goons on a good day, with a hangover, both of them would have left me a pile of blood and bones on the floor.
“Fuck,” I muttered, wondering if I should just pay them the half-million and quit before I got even more behind.
On the other hand, if I won the next bet, I wouldn’t owe anything. The money would help me until I cleared my name and got back on the team or found another job. Things are going to work out, I told myself as I headed back upstairs to shower and get ready for the day.
TWENTY-FOUR
Tony
As I packed boxes and prepared to move out of the mansion, I wondered where all my so-called friends had gone. They were around for all the parties, but not a damn one of them showed up to help me move. Word was getting around that I wasn’t well-off financially.
Maybe it’s a good thing, I thought as I marveled at all the junk I had collected over a few short years. I wondered if I should have a huge garage sale and get rid of everything. It wouldn’t cover another five-hundred-thousand-dollar bet, but with no steady paycheck, anything helped.
Halfway through my day, as I separated stuff to sell in the four-car garage, I saw Andrea pull up in her car. While I didn’t think she would bolt because I had no money, I was sure our relationship would change in one way or another. Hell, maybe she’ll end up with that geek.
I walked out of the garage as she stopped. After getting out, she walked over, a cute, multicolored scarf around her neck. She looked even more beautiful than I remembered. She pressed her body against mine and stood up on her toes to kiss me on the lips. I kissed back.
She pulled back and smiled.
“Settle down, big man.”
“It’s good to see you,” I said.
“You too.” She peered around the garage. “You moving?”
I nodded.
“Yeah. Even with a paycheck, this place wasn’t a good idea. Now that I’m unemployed, I need to find somewhere else.”
“At least you’re not unemployable,” she said. “You have any leads on a job yet?”
; “No, not really. My reputation is not the best.”
“Can we go inside? It’s cold.”
“Yeah, let’s go. I can finish this later.”
I put my hand on the small of her back. We walked inside.
“I’m surprised you didn’t hire someone to do it for you.”
“Well, I’m trying to stick to a budget.”
“Good for you.” She turned to me in the mudroom. “About the other night…”
“It’s okay,” I said, cutting her off. “We both acted like idiots.”
“Speak for yourself,” she said. “I meant about Kenneth. You were right about him.”
“The publishing deal wasn’t real?”
“No, that was real, but he made a move on me the other night.”
“Really?” I said, not able to picture it in my mind.
“He tried,” she said as she unwrapped her scarf. “Where are you going to live now?”
“I’m not sure. You know of anywhere.”
She hung the scarf on a peg on the wall then turned to me.
“Well, what about moving in with me?”
I stared down and into her eyes, searching for the truth.
“Are you sure?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Well, we’ve been arguing, and it’s been a while since we’ve been together.”
“You miss me, did you?” she asked, pressing her body against mine.
“I did,” I admitted. “A lot.”
“I’m here now.”
“You are here.”
Instead of opening up and telling her the whole truth about my growing gambling debt, I bent my head and kissed her like it was the last time I would be able to lock lips with anyone. She wrapped her arms around my waist, holding me tight as our tongues swirled around blissfully.
I would tell her everything after I won the next bet. Living with her a few months, I’d have time to get back on my feet financially. I felt her hand on my crotch, squeezing my dick through my jeans.
“Last fuck in this house, we better make it a good one,” she said then resumed kissing me.
