At the same time, both men formed a fist with their right hands and placed their arms across their chests, nodding the formal goodbye of the knights of Whylkin—something they had done hundreds of times before.
Breaking formality, Rhen sent one more wave up to the sky as Cal disappeared behind the stone.
Rhen turned, tired. All of his traveling had finally hit his bones, making them ache, and all he thought about was the warm body in the bed four feet above his head.
Swiftly, he climbed back through the window, reset his rope in the loose rock, and stripped off his shirt, settling in under the covers.
An airy sigh kissed his ear as he sank into the cushions, draping his arm over Reana's body. She wasn't his wife. She wasn't his sweetheart. And though she would never realize it, she wasn't even his lover.
Rhen had none of those things. The older he got, and the more palace ladies that were thrust before his eyes, the more Rhen thought this was as good as it got.
Soft skin under his palm with no strings attached.
Tomorrow, he would be journeying once more. On a ship. In the middle of the ocean. Without a woman in sight.
Sailors were good, crude fun. Captain Pygott was a fantastic storyteller, a very loyal friend. And Jin was an entertaining new companion.
But none of those equaled a woman.
As sleep overtook him, Rhen hugged Reana closer, dreaming that maybe she was something more.
By morning, he would forget that the wish had even existed.
7
JINJI
~ OPEN OCEAN ~
Eight days on a boat had taught Jinji one thing about Rhen—he had an inherent disregard for clothing.
As soon as they lost view of the city, Rhen had lost need of his shirt. He stripped it off to join the other men in securing ropes, loosening ropes, and moving parts and pieces that Jinji had no understanding of. Within an hour, his pale skin was red and raw, but he seemed to like it despite the pain.
And she had thought that would be it.
But no.
Once again, around Rhen, Jinji had not been so lucky because later that night she discovered where her sleeping quarters were. Not in the front of the ship with the rest of the men, which she had at first been thrilled by…until the captain led her and Rhen to his first mate's cabin, a small wooden hole with one bed and a hammock (as she later learned it was called). Rhen immediately fell into the bed, leaving Jinji in the doorway weighing the options. Try to squeeze in beside him—not happening—or sleep in the odd fabric hanging on the other side of the room.
The second option was the clear winner, so she had slugged over and awkwardly climbed in. Immediately, a wave of happiness had rolled down her limbs. For the first time since boarding this ship, the death trap as she thought of it, the queasy feeling in her stomach had stopped. Instead of rocking back and forth, unsteady and uncomfortable, the hammock swayed with the ship, doing all of the moving for her.
She remembered settling in, tossing and turning until her legs curved at the perfect angle. Moments later, upon hearing a snore, Jinji had mistakenly looked over toward Rhen, only to be greeted by the sight of his bare butt slipping free of the sheets.
Her cheeks had grown hot and her limbs stiff. With a groan, she had flipped on her side to stare instead at the wooden knots on the wall. But out of sight did not mean out of mind, and the awareness of a naked man in the same room with her had left Jinji unnerved for the rest of the night.
Eight days later, she had gotten slightly more used to it. Then again, she might have gotten better at just closing her eyes, feigning sleep, and doing her best to ignore it.
Despite all of this, Jinji had to admit that a part of her was starting to have fun.
Not at first.
Not even at the middle.
But now, whatever part of her story it was, a little bit of joy had nestled into her heart, finally warming a place that had been cold for too long.
The journey from the forest had been heart wrenching, the trek through the city surreal, the first days on the boat sickening. But now, Jinji thought, staring at the waves splashing against the ship, now it feels a little exciting.
She had found her favorite part of the ship—the front, or the bow she reminded herself. Right behind the great wooden spike protruding from the deck, like an armless tree sprouting from the wood, that was where she liked to stand. Right in the center, the seam, where the water parted ways and glided around them. There, the wind whipped past her face, the ocean sprawled before her, and the entire world seemed to welcome her with open arms.
At the front of the ship, where no one else liked to stand, the spirits would dance just for her. Moving faster than she had ever dreamed, the spirit strands spiraled into a vortex of colors, clashing and crashing just for her eyes to see. The yellows of the air laced with the blues of the sea, weaving into a bright turquoise, a color as beautiful as any she had seen before. When Rhen stood close by, the spirits danced around his figure, as bright red as his skin, and it stood out like a beacon of heat against the cool colors behind him.
None of the others on the ship were shrouded with spirits as he was, no one in the city had been either, and Jinji was starting to understand that there was something he was hiding, a part of him that was special just like her.
And she ached to know what it was.
Ached for something to make her feel not quite so alone. For someone she could share that part of herself with, even if that someone seemed made to annoy her.
Constantly.
The man had turned the entire ship against her. As soon as they realized how easy it was to make the small boy Jin uncomfortable, all of the crew joined in the fun. Jinji had never seen so much of the male anatomy before, and she hoped to never see so much of it again.
"What are you thinking so hard on, Jin?" A voice said, interrupting her ruminations.
Jinji turned, smiling when she realized that it was Captain Pygott standing beside her, greeting her with a warm smile barely visible through the coarse strands of his thick white beard. His leathery skin crinkled around his eyes, blue just like the ocean he lived on. The rest of his hair was secured in a tight braid at the nape of his neck, hidden under the rim of his wide black hat. It was topped with a great blooming feather like one she had never seen before—soft and airy, not coarse and firm like the ones they had used for arrows back home. That it never blew off his head seemed like a magical feat to her, but no one else was so amazed by it.
Unlike Rhen, the captain had a distinct regard for clothing—colorful ones that popped against the sea. Deep purples and bright oranges, all decorated with some sort of bauble that sparkled in her eye. In the sun, he was almost too brilliant to look at, but Jinji thought he might like it that way. He stood out amongst the crew, the clear leader, and they all listened to him.
During the second day on the ship, Rhen had told her that the captain used to sail warships for the king and then one day, out of the blue, he just left, taking this ship and some of its crew with him. The king asked no questions, but everyone else in the kingdom did. Rumors swirled that he had fallen in the love with the queen and was banished from the royal court when the king found out.
Rhen claimed he knew the truth—that the man was old and alone and simply wanted an easier life, but there was still a part of his story that seemed falsified.
Jinji didn’t push to know the truth, because no matter what, she liked this captain. He was a kind man and a breath of fresh air. And she loved the way he told her stories, how he helped her escape.
"I'm thinking that perhaps sailing is not so bad as I thought," Jinji said, looking back out at the water.
"I told you those sea legs would come eventually." He moved next to her, leaning on the front banister with his forearms. "Look at that, wide open water with not a cloud in the sky. It's the perfect day to be a sailor, Jin, the perfect day. A hundred little boys in the kingdom are looking out of market stalls, enviously daydreaming that they
were where we stand. Remember that."
"I will," she said softly. He had a way of making every moment feel special.
"I was one of those boys once, did you know that?"
She shook her head, looking at his profile while his eyes glittered with reflections of the sun. There was still a spark in him, one that came out mostly when he was spinning tales. A weaver of sorts, almost like with her illusions, but his were webs of words that ensnared her mind in wonder. Over the past few days, he'd told her all about the kings of old—Whyl the Conqueror, the kings before and after him. Stories of knights and princesses, of love and loss, of honor. But never anything personal.
Until now.
"Yes, I was one of those boys, working for a butcher but dreaming of the sea. Day after day, always the same. Yelling over the other vendors, shouting our goods out to the crowd, fighting for the smallest penny. And the smell, the smell was so thick I swore it had seeped into my bones to haunt me for the rest of my life. Until one day, everything changed." He paused dramatically, drumming his fingers on the wood, as though the humming air would tell his story for him.
"What happened?" Jinji asked, losing patience.
The older man grinned.
"One day, I saw a little boy playing in the streets, running through the crowds, looking behind his back every couple of steps—a little boy in a bright red shirt. I knew exactly who he was, so I snatched him up, holding him tightly despite his protests, and waited for the guards to come. That little boy was a prince at the time, but he is the king now, and he was trying to run away. But I stopped him, and the old king granted me one wish. Do you know what I wished for?"
"A ship?" Jinji asked. He laughed.
"No, nothing so grand. A job cleaning the decks, but eventually it turned into a ship of my own."
Jinji looked back out at the water. It was a wonderful story, but it seemed too perfect—too happy to be real. "Is that true?"
"Stories are hardly ever true, but they do sound nice." He shrugged, nudging her shoulder. "Would you prefer the truth?"
Jinji leaned forward, looking out toward the horizon. The truth was hard. It was dirty and painful and it left scars. But it was real—it was human. And sometimes, just sometimes, it could be the best thing in the world.
She nodded.
"The truth is that my father was a captain, and his father, and his father's father, and all the fathers in my family, probably from the beginning of time, were sailors. It's in my blood. People are born to this world with their destiny already laid out before them, with a future already set—they only get to fill in the details. That's the truth, Jin.
"But that little boy was real, it just wasn't the king, it was Whylrhen. He used to love playing on my ship when I worked for the crown, and I caught him trying to run away too many times. Because Whylrhen is like those little boys in their stalls daydreaming of ships, thinking the world is a far more magical place than it truly is. Who are you, Jin?"
The spirits were silent, though she half expected them to suddenly jump into her vision. She was the spirits, that was her path now, that was her destiny. But she couldn’t say that—she didn’t want to tell that truth. So instead, she simply answered, "I don't know."
"And that might be painful now, but in time you might find it a gift. To not know. To be free. To get to choose. Your future is as vast as this sea before us." He shrugged. "But who am I? Just an old man spinning stories of youth while my crew tries to sail us round in circles."
He turned, cupping his hands before his mouth, "Back to work! What do you think this is, social hour? We have royalty aboard." He looked at Jinji, winked, and then whipped his head in Rhen's direction. "Prince Whylrhen, why don't you show our little friend the crow's nest?"
"Ay, ay, Captain," Rhen said with a salute, and a rather mocking one at that. Captain Pygott shook his head, pretending to smack Rhen when they crossed paths. For his part, Rhen didn't try to dodge the blow, but Jinji saw the captain pull back at the last second, careful not to lay a hand on the prince. His old eyes twinkled, sparkled with affection, almost like those of a father.
"How long have you known Captain Pygott?" She asked when Rhen came closer.
He turned to look over his shoulder, as if the question had spurred a memory, and replied, "My whole life. I used to run away from the castle all the time, and the only place the guards gave me any peace was on his ship. They deemed it safe, I deemed it a sanctuary."
"And how often do you sail together now?"
Rhen's head shifted quickly, his eyes narrowing on Jinji. But then they softened and he shrugged. "Whenever convenient. But no matter, to the crow's nest with you."
Jinji locked the memory in the back of her mind, the anxious vein in his gaze. There was something in their relationship Rhen did not want her know, maybe something to do with the fire spirits constantly circling his body. Or maybe not.
"What's the crow's nest?" Jinji asked instead. She would dig into his reaction later.
Rather than answer, Rhen just pointed high up overhead. Jinji gulped, following his finger until she saw the small basket hanging from the center mast of the ship.
She gulped again.
"Why would we go up there?"
"For the view." Rhen pushed his elbow into her side, goading. "Are you afraid to climb it?"
"No," she responded instantly.
"Then follow me."
He didn’t wait for a reply, but instead walked confidently forward, toward the ropes on the right side of the ship, ropes that were tied to the outer edge of the wood, on the ocean side of the banister. Jinji raised her brows, confused as to what they were doing, until Rhen grabbed hold and pulled himself on top of the railing.
"It's all about balance," he said, reaching higher up on the ropes, lifting his foot off the wood as he began to climb.
Does he want me to follow? There was a reason the Arpapajo lived in the woods—they liked their feet firmly planted on the ground. Even climbing trees had never been particularly fun to her. She preferred the solid cushion of a patch of grass or the weightless buoyancy of a pond.
Only birds were meant for the sky.
"Come on, Jin!" Rhen yelled, letting go with one hand as his body sprung wildly out toward the sea, waving her up.
The man was insane.
But she refused to give him any more reasons to make fun of her. If she didn’t climb, it would mean endless taunts for the rest of the day.
Taking a deep breath, Jinji grabbed hold of the roughly bound rope, not caring as it itched her palm. She only strengthened her grasp. Pulling with both hands, she lifted her body onto the rail.
The boat lurched.
One foot slipped free of the wood.
Instantly, the image of falling down into the crystal waters below flashed before her, the icy cool prickle, the pain of the crash. She winced, pulling with all her strength, hugging the rope to her until both feet were once again planted.
One breath.
Two breaths.
She kept her eyes closed, steadying her heart until she felt one with the boat. Slowly, Jinji opened her eyes, meeting the concerned faces of the crew. Instead of speaking, she just smiled. They released their gazes, relieved, and returned to their tasks. Gripping the ropes, she reluctantly returned to hers.
Just go one step at a time, she thought.
Up one with her right arm, up one with her right leg, steady with her left arm and then safe again with her left leg settled in.
Making the same movements again and again, Jinji crawled slowly upward, amazed at how naturally the other men on the boat moved across it, like spiders. She never appreciated the skill it took, but now, refusing to look down and locking her eyes only on the small figure of Rhen above her, she understood.
When she neared the cage, Rhen grasped her arms, lifting her free of the rope and pulling her safely into the wooden basket. She panted for a moment, regained her depleted strength, and took in the view.
Blue.
&n
bsp; For miles and miles in every direction, a stark and sparkling blue.
She tried to stand, but the rocking of the ship was magnified with their height, and it seemed to tip almost sideways with every other breath. Her legs wobbled, and then she dropped back to the floor.
"Stay seated," Rhen said, pushing down just slightly on her shoulder when she tried to lift herself up for the second time. He sat too, sighing as he dangled his feet over the edge and leaned back into the railing. His large frame took up over half of the small space.
Their arms touched from shoulder to elbow, causing a heat to rise under her skin. Jinji grabbed her legs, pulling them into her chest and shifting her weight, careful not to touch his body anymore. It was too intimate, she realized, after spending so many hours locked in the same room as him. There had to be a distance between them, otherwise she might slip up, might forget that she was supposed to be a boy, that she was supposed to be lying. He might notice that though her face was that of a male, her body was not. The baggy clothes hid it well, but in these close quarters, she had to be careful.
No matter how many times he taunted her, Rhen had come to be a friend, and she would not mess that up, not yet.
"This is one of my favorite spots on the ship," he said, eyes still closed in relaxation, "though many wouldn’t say the same. It's considered a punishment to be put up here, because of all the movement, but I've always found it very peaceful, very liberating."
Feeling her stomach unsettle slowly, Jinji might have agreed with the others, but there was something oddly comforting in her mood and oddly settled too.
"This was where I came to escape the castle and my father and mostly my responsibilities. Even if I was only on the dock, still stuck in Rayfort, I seemed miles away on top of this ship."
He opened his eyes slowly. The wind rustled his red hair, forcing it to spill over his forehead. Jinji wondered if her own short hair was doing the same, without her braid to keep it still and steady. Just the other night she had borrowed Rhen's knife to cut it short again, not ready to stop her mourning period—not even close.
The Shadow Soul (A Dance of Dragons) Page 9
