Alexis comes by.
Ryan.
Mom comes by
Jaxon.
Josslyn eventually
Adam.
Nothing prepares me for the moment when I see Dean and my son again.
We meet at an open park.
It’s early April. The trees are starting to bloom in California. It’s T-shirt weather year round here, but it feels nice to be out in the sunlight.
I’m not showing yet as far as my pregnancy goes, I am only about 8 or 9 weeks.
We have a constant slew of guards at least 4 are with me at all times. All giant men, but sweet as can be. They are all armed. They are all men Ryan handpicked himself.
Ryan and Alexis are here with Sarah and me.
Dean pulls up a few minutes after we all settle.
I begin to feel shaky.
I look at Sarah “I don’t think I can do it.”
She grabs my hand and looks into my eyes “You can do this, you are strong and you miss them just as much as they miss you. Hold on. Just hold it.”
I listen. I am scared, it’s okay to be scared I remind myself, but I have to be stronger than my fear. I can do this.
When I look back up, I see Dean. He has Landon in his arms. He is 10 months old. He is a giant. He’s looking at our table. Ryan and Alexis and Sarah, he knows who they are.
Dean is looking at me. When he steps closer I can see that he has tears on his cheeks.
He’s still wearing his wedding ring.
He stands next to where I am sitting. I stand slowly. I forgot how tall he was. I forgot how strong he was. He’s stronger than I remember though. Everything about him seems bigger to me.
“Hi.” He whispers after several moments of us staring at each other.
“Hi.” I whisper back
I look at Landon He’s chewing on a teddy bear. I know that bear. It’s the one that I bought him when he was born. He always loved it most. I am glad that he still favors it.
Landon looks at me and smiles. He has teeth. He has a row of teeth on the top and a few on the bottom. He turns himself more towards me and lets his hands out for me to pick him up.
I take a step back.
I can’t hold him. Why can’t I just hold him?
Sarah comes up beside me and turns me towards her “he wants you. You don’t have to do anything other than hold him. Remember this is all about baby steps. Just hold you son.”
I nod, she’s right. I don’t have to do anything other than just hold him.
I take a step forward again. Landon giggles a small little laugh, and I can’t help but laugh in return. He’s kicking his legs like crazy trying to wiggle from his dad’s grasp.
When I reach him, I gently put my hands under his arms and Dean lets him go.
He’s heavy. Solid heavy.
“Does he work out with you?” I joke, looking at Dean
Dean laughs lightly “Of course, he bench presses blocks daily.”
I smile. Landon is holding onto my neck, he reaches for my hair and examines it through his chubby little fingers. He reaches up and touches my cheek.
“Does he talk?” I ask Dean
Dean shakes his head no. “He babbles, but he won’t talk. We figure he will when he is ready.”
Of course. Well at least that is one milestone I might be a part of.
We all sit. Everyone around me is talking to one another. Landon and I sit on the grass. I don’t really pay attention to anything else. Just him.
Landon offers me his bear. I accept it and tell him he’s a good bear. This makes him smile. I hand him his bear back. But he Landon won’t take it.
“He never gives his bear to anyone.” Ryan says
I look at him and then at Dean, who nods his head “I have to wait until he’s sleeping at night to wash it and hope that he doesn’t have a bad dream and wake up to see him gone.”
I frown at this “he has nightmares?”
Dean nods “nearly every night since the night you left.”
“I didn’t leave.” I snap. I didn’t mean to, but I didn’t like his wording
“I know you didn’t Liv.”
Hearing him call me Liv turns my stomach into a puddle.
I look back at my son, who has somewhere along the lines crawled into my lap and fallen asleep.
I pull him closer into my chest. He doesn’t even stir.
Dean takes a seat on the grass beside me. He’s watching me.
“I showed him your picture every single day. I played your voicemail message over and over so he would know your voice. Josslyn even gave him one of her voice birthday cards that you recorded for her.”
I am watching the baby sleeping in my arms, listening to him.
He reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear. I turn into his touch. I have missed the feel of him. I have missed that innocent little touch that was only his.
“I have missed you so fucking much beautiful girl.”
“I’m pregnant.” I blurt out
His face falls slightly, he looks down. Shifts away from me slightly.
I look at him. He’s looking up at the sky “I know.” He replies, voice tight
“I’m sorry.”
He looks at me “Don’t ever say sorry to me for any of this. You didn’t choose any of this. I should have kept you safe. I should have known that he would pull something like this. He asked me way too many questions about you. And Stella, when she started calling to ask how you were doing. I should have known.”
“I saw her, she came to Mexico. She told me that you two were together. I shot her.”
“Wait, you are the one who shot her?” he asks
“Yeah. When I told her to tell you I wanted you to file for divorce. She told me that you two were together, that you weren’t looking for me.”
“She’s such a fucking liar.” Ryan and Alexis say at the same time
“She lied to you. I told her if she came near me or Landon again I would kill her. I haven’t seen her since that first day.”
“So what about the divorce stuff, she said you freaked out.”
“She wasn’t the one who told me about that. She had Alexis tell me about that. We were outside. She must have been nearby because she wasn’t here for that.” He tells me
“She said you thought I just wanted your money. I just wanted to let you move on and be happy since Max wouldn’t let me go. I just wanted you both to be happy.” I look down at Landon
“She’s dead.” Dean whispers
“What?”
“I killed her when she told me that you and Max were together. She told me that she was going to make sure that Max never let you go, and I killed her. She was my last kill. I retired while you were gone. I didn’t want Landon to lose his only parent, but she had to go.”
I was kind of glad that she was gone. Maybe that meant that Max wouldn’t have a reason to come for me. Maybe they wouldn’t know where I was. But I knew Max, I knew that he would find a way to find me.
“Max will find me. He will want this baby.” I tell Dean
“And I’ll be ready for him. You won’t be left alone. We will figure it all out. But I really just want you to come home. I need you to be with me and our son.”
Maybe I wasn’t totally ready, maybe I was but I knew deep down I wouldn’t be able to walk away from this little boy in my arms ever again.
“Okay.” I agree.
Chapter 44
Dean bought the townhouses from Erica while I was gone. He had them converted into one big area, the entry way that once was is now an open living area.
It was beautiful.
“I thought this was easier than buying a house. That and I wasn’t sure if we would ever get you back and this place had too many memories for me to walk away from it.” Dean explains, he walks in and lays Landon down in his crib.
He walks back out and hands me the baby monitor. I immediately turn the video back on and keep it on. Dean smile at my action.
; “I’m glad you’re here.” He says “can we sit down and talk?”
“Sure.” I reply
We sit in the living room. But I notice quickly that this isn’t the same couch that was here when I left. No, that couch is pushed to the new living area, filling my old living room is the old couch. The one that I sold because it made me think of Dean.
“This couch.” I say to him
“I am the one who bought it. I had a buyer pay for it and pick it up and store it until I could give it to you. It was supposed to be a gift, but that didn’t really work out. Anyway, it is my favorite couch, so I couldn’t just get rid of it.
I am glad.
“So.” I say waiting for him to ask me whatever it is he needs to know
“So… Do you love him?”
He doesn’t beat around the bush
“I did.” I reply
He looks sad but nods his head in understanding
“I didn’t love him in the way that I love you though. It was different and it is very hard to explain. I think I learned to love him because I knew I would never get out. I knew that I needed to throw my love into someone and something because the people that I really loved were so far away. I thought that he would make me happy. But I wasn’t happy. I missed my son. I missed you even though I was angry with you for being with someone else, I just tried to make the best out of a situation I never thought I would be free of.”
He watches me “how do you feel now?”
“I feel like I am having a baby with a man that had to kidnap me to make me love him, and I feel like I will never truly be free, but love is not something I feel for him anymore. I feel something quite the opposite. I still worry that he is angry with me. I still worry that this baby will disappear. But I want it. I want to make my life work, but I want to not worry about Max too.”
“I get it, but I told you, he’s coming near you again.” Dean says
“Doesn’t it bother you that I am having a baby with him?” I ask
“Honestly? It does. But that baby is half you, and I know that you didn’t choose any of this Liv, I know that you would have gone home with me the night of our wedding if you had, had a choice but you didn’t. You didn’t have a choice, he took all your choices from you the last few months. I get that you had sex with him. I get that you felt a connection. I also get that whatever you might have created with him is a drop in the bucket to what you and I share. You are the love of my life. You are my whole fucking reason for being on this earth, and if that baby is a part of you, than that baby is a part of me too and I would be proud to help you raise him or her.”
“So you don’t care that it would be raising his baby?”
“I don’t care that it is biologically his, because I will be that baby’s dad in every way that I am Landon’s dad. I will love it and I will love it like I love you and I love our son. You don’t have to worry Liv, this time us, our family all four of us. We are forever. There is no changing that. You are my forever.”
“You’re my forever too, Dean.”
The monitor lights up with sound and I hear a little voice saying ‘mama.’
Epilogue – Six years later
Natalie is sitting on Dean’s lap telling him all about her very first day in Kindergarten
“The teacher said that I had the coolest shoes in the whole wide class daddy.”
She has a shoe fetish. She never wears one pair all day. She has slippers in the morning, sneakers for the day and she is obsessed with flats. Dean is always running out to buy her new shoes, just to see the smile on her face when she opens the box.
Landon walks in and rolls his eyes “Dad tell Caleb to stay out of my stuff.”
He’s almost 7 going on 17. And he can’t stand that his little brother wants to be just like him.
Caleb comes running down the hallway with his cousin Josh in tow. “Mom Landon hit me.”
“Landon, what have I told you about hitting your brother, he’s 3 you need to be gentle with him.”
Another eye roll “Mom; he is almost as big as my chest, he needs to toughen up.”
He sounds so much like his father.
“I don’t care, don’t hit him again. Why don’t the three of you go in and play Minecraft for a while?”
The boys all run into the second living room and turn the game on.
Josh is 2, he’s Alexis and Ryan’s little boy. He hangs out with us as often as possible, which is nearly all day since his parents bought the house next door.
Alexis is pregnant again, this time with a little girl. 7 months and 3 days in.
Which is amazing because I am 7 months and 3 days into my pregnancy as well. Another boy. When we found out that we had the same due date, we both cried. Dean and Ryan laughed at us and then took us for cheeseburgers like the good husbands they are.
Ryan is still in the business. But nothing bad has ever touched our family since.
Max was dead. He and his father were killed in an explosion at the mansion shortly after Natalie was born. He made several efforts to find me, to take me back, but they never worked. I was sad for a brief time, but Dean patched up any and all holes Max left inside me. He treated Natalie like a princess. I think the day she was born, I fell even more in love with Dean.
Natalie chases the boys into the living room and asks them if they want to see her new light up shoes. The boys all groan ‘no’ but that doesn’t stop her from stomping all over the hard wood floor to show off what her new kicks are capable of.
Dean comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me, burring his face into my neck. “I can’t wait for these kids to go to bed. I need you.”
I scoff at him slightly
“We had sex 3 hours ago before the kids came home.” I laugh
“Yeah, 3 long hours ago. I am ready to go again.”
He was, he was grinding the proof into my back as we were talking
I turn around and look at him. Glancing over my shoulder to make sure that none of the kids were watching.
I reach into his gym shorts and grab his erection, rubbing it lightly in my hand.
Dean growls.
I take my hand out and laugh
“That’s it?” he asks in disbelief
“That’s it until tonight.” I grin
“No way.” He says
Before I can say another word he grabs me and carries me into our bedroom. He yells to the kids to stay where they are for a few minutes.
We make love despite my large stomach being in the way. I always feel self-conscious pregnant, but Dean loves it. He is always telling me that he is going to keep me pregnant until I can no longer have babies.
When we come out. Ryan and Alexis are standing in our living room, with knowing grins on their faces.
Alexis holds up a bag of cheese fries
“Oh I love you.” I shout running for the bag
“You better stop trying to take my wife away from me with food Alexis.” Dean laughs
“Never. That bitch was mine first.” She giggles
Josslyn comes knocking on the screen door a few moments later. Followed by Jaxon and is wife Marie.
Marie was another captive that Ryan saved from a shipment to Max and Michael. Jaxon fell in love with her at first sight. They were married 2 months later.
Adam pulls in with my mom and his mom in tow.
“Is everyone ready?” I ask
Natalie and Josslyn run outside ahead of us. Dean grabs the grilling stuff and the boys swimming gear. We are having a family BBQ in the back yard. It’s our Sunday routine. All our family and friends, including mom and her new boyfriend Rob when they can make it.
It took a while for life to really go back to normal. It wasn’t all sunshine and roses. I had a lot of dark days after I first moved back in with Dean. I suffer from panic attacks at random still. But I am getting better, the darkness of those 8 months might never fully go away, but the light that I feel every single day I am with my family outshines it.
I look at Dean who is smiling at something his brother is saying.
I catch his eye “Thanks for being my forever Dean.”
He leans down and kisses me. “Thanks for being my always Liv.”
The End
Author Notes
Thank you so much for reading the end of Dean and Olivia’s story! I didn’t intend on this book being a lot longer than book one, but the plot kind of picked up and ran away from me. I hope that you like it.
Please consider leaving a review on Amazon and Goodreads. I really appreciate them and read each and every one!
Also join my Facebook author page S.B Alexander.
I look forward to chatting with you all!
Sweetest Torture (Sweetest Kill Book 2) Page 13
