“Some of you here don’t know Pam has always been my feminine role model. After the tornado struck twenty-three years ago, she was the saint left on earth to help me make it through. I know her well.
“She keeps her feelings locked deep inside. If we were all privy to the secrets in her heart the day she met Clint Hawkins, they would go something like this.”
Then Audra began to sing.
Love came full blown that snowy morn,
In the summertime of my life.
Like the hearty primrose that pushes through
The icy fissures of winter’s strife.
I found it waiting, waiting, waiting for me,
In a place far away from the Hill Country.
Where men match their mountains
Yet can be so sweet,
The heart is pierced
With emotions too deep.
Gray eyes warm and tender smiled into mine,
I saw inside a soul so noble and fine,
It made me tremble, it made me cry,
It took my breath, I wanted to die
For the love that came to me that day,
It arrived full blown, it swept me away.
So here I’ll linger till I’m old and worn,
With my beloved who on that morn,
Gave me love in the summertime of my life.
The palpable silence that followed her performance was testimony to the power of words sung so exquisitely. Rick couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. A stillness held the crowd mesmerized. There wasn’t a dry eye to be found. Pam had hidden her face against Clint’s shoulder.
Rick looked over the heads of the guests and met Nate’s intense gaze. He could read his brother’s mind. In a time long ago and far away, they’d held a certain conversation, which he knew neither of them could relate to now.
“Since I couldn’t reach you, I decided to fly home from London yesterday in order to give Dad an early surprise.”
“And?”
“I’m afraid I’m the one who got the surprise. You could say I received the shock of my life.”
“You’re not about to tell me he’s turned to drinking—”
“Sorry. You’re not even close.”
“Just spit it out.”
“When I walked through the house, I found our father in the kitchen. He wasn’t alone…”
“Rick—”
“He had this woman in a clinch by the sink. They were so far gone, they never saw or heard me. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to tiptoe back to the living room before calling out to Dad that I was home.”
“This soon after Mom?”
“It gets worse. After Dad brought her into the living room and introduced us, he announced that they’re engaged to be married. They’d gone to Denver to pick out her ring. Dad said he was glad I’d decided to come home for a surprise visit because that saved him having to phone me with the news.”
“If this woman is someone Mom and Dad knew before the accident, I don’t wa—”
“Noooo. She’s a Texan who came to Colorado a month ago to attend a friend’s wedding reception. Apparently, she’s never been on a pair of skis. While she was shopping for sunglasses in the ski shop, Dad challenged her to get out on the slopes and try it. He gave her a few lessons, and things went from there.”
“Hey, everybody?” Audra’s voice brought Rick back to the present. “This is a wedding reception not a funeral wake.”
David Jarrett was the first person to start clapping, then the others followed suit. The band broke into an old Glenn Miller song and people started dancing again.
Rick made his way through the crush of people to reach Audra. He’d waited three hours while she’d kept the reception running smoothly. Now that she’d sung a song that must have melted his father’s heart, there was nothing to hold him back.
Except Hal Torney.
Where in the hell had he come from? He’d trapped her next to the band with a devouring gleam in his eye.
No way he was going to let that man get in his way.
Gritting his teeth, Rick kept right on going until he’d reached them. He put a hand on the other guy’s shoulder so he’d be forced to turn around. “It’s Hal, isn’t it?”
The sandy-haired man blinked. “Hey, it’s you!”
Yes, it’s me.
“Looks like you’re all better.”
It looks like I am.
“I hate to interrupt you two, but Audra’s needed in the kitchen on some kind of emergency.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Excuse me for a minute, Hal.”
“Sure. I’m not going anywhere.”
No. You’re not. But we are.
She moved fast on those shapely legs of hers. No sign of a limp. For her sake he was thankful. After following her into the kitchen, he put his arm around her waist and walked her straight out the back door to the parking lot.
“What are you doing, Rick? I thought you said there was an emergency.”
“There is. You and I have a date with the moon.”
“Not tonight.”
“It has to be tonight. I rented a truck for the occasion. You can’t turn me down. I drove it all the way from Austin.”
“What?”
“We’re going to ride around till four in the morning, remember?”
“I can’t leave right now. A lot of work is still ahead of me.”
“There must be a hundred people inside, including the catering staff, getting the job done as we speak. Come on. I’ve missed my roommate. We’re overdue some quality time together.”
He grasped her hand and started walking toward his rental truck. His instinct was to grab her and run, but it was too soon considering her cast hadn’t been off that long.
When they reached it, she pulled her hand from his. “Rick, we can’t do this.”
“Why not? It’s June.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It was May on the night we were lying on my bed kissing each other—with great enjoyment, I might add. You told me that next month or next year we’d be in a different truck with our arms and legs wrapped around each other.”
Even in the darkness he could see the color that filled her cheeks. “No. I said we’d be in different trucks with different people.” She shook her head. “This is an absurd conversation.”
He grimaced. “Not to me.”
She avoided his eyes.
Don’t pull away. My heart can’t take it.
“There’s something I want to ask you. We need privacy.”
“If it’s about going to a Formula One race with you, I’ve considered your invitation and I’m afraid the answer has to be no.”
His body froze. “Why, Audra? It isn’t as if watching one race would make your nightmares any worse. I’m hoping the experience will have the opposite effect on you.”
She studied him as if he was a challenging calculus problem. “Let me ask you a question. Why didn’t you want me to watch the tornado?”
“You know the answer to that,” he whispered.
“Then you have your reason why I don’t want to attend a car race. There are some things in life where you don’t need the experience to know they’re not good for you.”
“I’m not going to be in it. I’ll be a spectator on the sidelines with you.”
Her eyes grew suspiciously bright. “Is my going that important to you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” she retorted.
“I want you to get a taste of my world.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
Her sad smile devastated him. “For now maybe. We were thrown together under some unusual circumstances.
“Rick—I’m not trying to be cruel or insensitive. I won’t lie to you or pretend that the time we spent at the bungalow wasn’t some kind of miracle for me. But there were three women before I came along. They weren’t what you were looking for. Neither am I. One of these days y
our equal will show up. Someone strong and exciting in her own right. She’ll love you for exactly who you are.”
“Are you telling me you don’t think you’re that woman?”
“I don’t think, I know,” she said with an exaggerated accent.
That dreaded blackness began to steal back into his soul.
“I’ve observed the Hawkins men at close range for some time now,” she said. “You have many traits in common, but there’s one you’ve developed to such a high degree, you’ve mistaken it for love. It’s your protective instinct.”
Audra, Audra. Where’s this all coming from?
“While Laurel was helping me unpack at the condo, she told me how close you were to your mother. I understand you two shared many things, including a love of skiing. She said you took her death especially hard.
“I have the strongest impression you’ve been trying to save me and my family because you couldn’t save her. I believe your feelings are mixed up and confused.
“Don’t forget, I saw your face the day I told you about the tornado. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now. You relived your mother’s death that day, and your grieving heart viewed me as poor little Audra who needed saving. That’s why you leaped to my rescue during one of my bad dreams.
“This isn’t a criticism of you, Rick, or anything like it. I’ve grown to love you for the person you are. Talk about my own Sir Galahad, ready to defend me against the evil princes of the realm. No one ever had a better champion.
“You and I will always enjoy a closeness because of Pam and Clint. But your self-imposed obligation is over. I set you free, Sir Knight, to fight and win new battles.
“One day in the future you’ll wake up and realize you’ve worked your way through your grief. When that happens, you’ll find your destiny.”
She glanced at her watch. “We’ve been out here too long. I’ve really got to go inside. I still have to pay the band and the caterers.” She started backing away from him.
“Good luck at the track. Don’t y’all be a stranger now, you hear?”
NATE BROUGHT IN the last of the wedding presents from the back of David’s truck. Brent and his boys had been helping him.
“This is everything,” he said to the happy group assembled in the living room of the main house where Pam had been urged to start opening their mountain of gifts.
Everyone would be staying over.
Everything in Nate’s world was just about perfect.
Before the hour was out, his brother would be walking in the house with Audra sporting a diamond on her ring finger. Then there was going to be a wild celebration on the Jarrett Ranch tonight!
Laurel’s eyes met his with a private message of love. Julie, who was beginning to show her pregnancy, was just as bad as her sister when it came to keeping a secret like this.
The champagne was in the fridge, ready to be popped open. Hopefully, David and Nate’s dad and Pam were still on such a high, they hadn’t picked up on the excitement coming from everyone else.
Pam turned to Clint. “Don’t you think we ought to wait until Audra and Rick get here?”
“I don’t think Uncle Rick’s coming,” eight-year-old Joey piped up.
“He’ll be here pretty soon,” Nate murmured. “He’s helping Audra clean up the reception hall.”
A grin broke out on his face. He could picture it now. Mr. Domestic, willingly hog-tied and chained for life.
“No, he won’t,” Joey insisted.
By now all eyes were focused on Brent and Julie’s youngest boy.
Tension lines bracketed Brent’s mouth. “Do you know where he is?”
“He got in his truck and took off like he was driving his race car.”
Nate felt as if he’d just been kicked in the gut. “Was Audra with him?”
“No. I think they had a fight.”
“Come here, honey.” Julie beckoned her son, who walked over to her. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I was outside with some of the boys looking for the skunk that made such a bad smell. While we were creeping around, I saw Uncle Rick talking to her by his truck. He had this real sick look on his face before he got in it.”
“It’s true, Mom,” ten-year-old Mike informed her. “When she came back in the kitchen, she looked as if she’d been crying. Some guy named Hal had been looking for her. She asked me to tell him she was too busy and would talk to him another time.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
What in the hell could have gone wrong?
Nate excused himself and went into the hall to call Rick on his cell phone, but his brother had turned his off.
Jeez.
He heard a noise behind him and wheeled around in time to see Audra slip inside the door carrying her guitar.
“Hi.”
Her head flew back. “Hi,” she said in a soft tone when she saw him standing there.
This was honesty time. “Who brought you home?”
“Jim and Sherry.”
“Where’s Rick?”
Her eyes closed tightly. “I don’t know.”
“But you have an idea.”
“H-he’s probably in Austin by now. That’s where he said he’d rented the truck.”
“Is he planning to come back?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Joey said you had a fight.”
“Did he?” She turned her head away.
“Audra? Talk to me. My brother’s been living for tonight. He’s only had one thought on his mind, and that was to be with you. What happened?”
She drew her composure around her like a cloak and faced him. “Nothing. He asked me to go to a Formula One race with him and I turned him down.”
Wait a minute… Something wasn’t right here.
“That’s why you’re not together now?”
“It’s part of the reason, but not all.”
“My brother’s more fragile than you know. Did you tell him you weren’t in love with him? I’m not asking that out of any other reason than concern for him.”
“I believe you, but my being in love with him has nothing to do with anything.”
She was in love with him.
“I don’t understand.”
“Rick thinks he’s in love with me, but there were three other women before me, and I’m sure there’ll be someone else as soon as he’s back on the Mayada team. He needs more time to get over your mother’s death.”
Nate blinked.
Audra was afraid.
She reminded him of Pam, who’d been terrified their father would wake up after the wedding and decide he didn’t want to be married after all.
She and Pam had been close for so many years, she’d internalized her older cousin’s fears.
That song she’d sung tonight had sprung out of her love for Rick, but she’d masked it to look as if those were Pam’s feelings. It was all making sense.
Unfortunately his brother hadn’t proposed first. That’s where he’d made his big mistake, probably the first ever. Now he was hurting.
If he knew Rick, he’d turned the truck in at the airport. Either he was waiting to board the next flight back to Denver, or he’d rented a car so he could get out of the state of Texas as fast as possible.
This was something Nate needed to talk over with his father before they went to bed.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
IT WAS THREE in the morning when Audra heard a knock on the bedroom door. This was the room she’d grown up in. She doubted anyone but her cousin would be walking around right now.
“Pam?”
“Yes, honey. Can I come in?”
“Of course.”
Audra dashed the tears from her face with the sheet. Her cousin slipped in quietly and hurried over to the bed. She sank down next to Audra.
“After that wonderful reception, I haven’t been able to sleep, and figured you couldn’t either.”
“I hope it made you and Clint happy.”
“It was
wonderful.” She put her arms around Audra and rocked her. “Thank you for one of the most beautiful nights of my life. Did you see Jim gave me a kiss?”
“No. I can’t believe it!”
“Neither could I. He looked like he was about to cry when he told us he hoped Clint and I could forgive him. Do you know what that remarkable husband of mine said?”
“I can guess. Something about helping him build a barn?”
“Yes, and sharing ours until it’s ready.”
“That sounds like Clint. Diane says Greg’s got a ways to go but she’s confident that breaking away from Tom’s influence will change everything with time.”
“I agree,” Pam murmured. “It’s Tom I’m worried about. Annette called me before we left for the reception to apologize for not coming. Things aren’t good. She talked to the psychiatrist who’s going to be working with him.
“After she’d given him a little history, the doctor said he suspects Tom had a mental break, or a brain freeze as they call it, at the time of the tornado. He was at a vulnerable age and simply shut down. In cases like his, there’s only so much therapy can do, but Annette’s trying to be optimistic.”
“Then we will be, too.” But Audra didn’t want to think about sad things right now. “Did you like my song?”
“Very much. There’s only one problem. You were singing it to the wrong couple. That beautiful love song was meant for Rick. When you two are married, you’ll have to sing it to him. The only line you need to tweak is the one that says, in the summertime of my life. Change it to springtime, and it’s perfect.”
“We’re not getting married—” Audra blurted in shock.
“You’re not?”
“No.” She lowered her eyes. “He hasn’t asked me.”
“I wonder what’s holding him up.”
“H-he came close to getting married to three different women.”
“Only three?”
“Pam—”
“Well, you’re the one who labeled him the Racetrack Lover.”
“I admit I was too judgmental in the beginning. Deep down he’s terrified of commitment to a needy woman. The problem is, all women are needy when they’re in love, and since his mother died, his feelings are even more confused.”
“In what way?”
“He doesn’t know the difference between loving someone and being protective of her. They’re two different things.”
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