My Now & Forever

by HJ Bellus

  Friday morning during our morning coffee, he invited me over for dinner. He warned me that he didn’t have the best cooking skills.

  “If you think I’m coming over for your cooking then you’re not as smart as I thought you were,” I teased him.

  Chapter 11

  Mac n’ Cheese & Magic Sprinkles

  This had to be the longest day of my life! It had only been eight hours since Cree invited me over for dinner, and one hour since Annie and Cree left after getting their daily sodas. I was all sorts of nervous and thrilled. Lacey was coming over to make sure I nailed my outfit for the night. I had to continually remind her that Cree had a five year old daughter who would be joining us.

  Lacey worked her magic. She curled my hair in loose curls that swept to one side and applied my make-up. She also insisted on dressing me in a cute gray sweater dress with black leggings and some funky rainbow-colored boots. The dress was super short. Hell! It barely covered my bulging booty. At least, I had some thick leggings to tone it down. I put on my diamond earrings and several bangle bracelets of varying colors. I looked down at my bracelet on my other wrist. It was the one I wore every day. I kissed the bracelet and whispered to Francis.

  “I think he might be the one. You would love him Crazy Pants!”

  I hadn’t been a guest in someone’s house for years. I felt very awkward to say the least. So I did what I do best. I threw a gift basket together for Annie. I filled it with little notebooks, markers, hair flowers, a necklace and a matching dress for her and her baby doll from The Shop. I bought Cree a king-sized Snickers bar and wrapped a coffee gift certificate around it. I signed the certificate with his pet name for me, Dolly!

  I pulled up to Cree’s modest white ranch-style house. It was a two-story home with a wraparound porch and a white picket fence. It was simple yet breathtaking. I grabbed my gifts and made my way to the door. Annie answered the door in a swimsuit and mismatching flip flops. Her hair was a complete disaster. It looked like she tried to put it up into a bun using three ponytail holders. She ushered me to the kitchen.

  “Daddy! Milly is here and look what she brought me!”

  When we rounded the corner, all the air whooshed out of me. Cree was standing in the kitchen barefoot in a snug brown t-shirt that had “Farm Boy” across his chest and low-riding jeans that hung off his narrow hips. His normal trucker style ball cap was sitting crooked on the top of his head while he was cooking. He was very dangerous on the eyes.

  “Wow! You look amazing.” Cree said waving a spatula at me!

  “You clean up rather nice too.”

  He made his way around the kitchen island to give me hug, while still holding his spatula covered in some sort of sauce. I handed him his Snickers bar with a shy smile. He unwrapped the gift certificate and let out a laugh. Then he bent down and kissed me on the forehead. I didn’t know what to do. He completely shocked the living hell out of me with that kiss. I wanted to freeze-frame the moment forever, never forgetting the way his soft lips felt on my skin.

  His voice snapped me out of my trance.

  “Annie, I told you to put on some clothes.”

  “Daddy, I am trying to play Malibu Barbie here!” she said as she cocked her hand on one hip and shook her head at her dad. This girl had some sass and I loved it.

  “Do you mind if I help her finish her Malibu Barbie outfit while you finish dinner?”

  “Sure go ahead. Be back here in ten minutes though, ladies.”

  Annie led me to her very pink and purple bedroom. She had a canopy bed, fairies, Barbies, princesses - you name it, this girl had it. Her room was very clean and organized. With a very serious face, Annie explained to me that she wanted to dress up as Malibu Barbie.

  I took her hair down and combed through the knots she managed to put in it. I made a perfect bun on top of her head and placed one of the flowers in her hair that I brought for her. We found matching flip flops and a cute swim skirt in her closet. She insisted on make-up to finish her outfit. I hollered downstairs to get Cree’s permission.

  “Cree! Annie is asking for make-up. Do I have the go ahead from her dad?”

  “Yep!”

  We came into the kitchen five minutes later. “Without further ado, I give you Malibu Barbie!”

  Annie strutted into the kitchen, showing off her costume to her dad. Cree put on the charm and acted like he had never seen such a beautiful Barbie. I didn’t realize that as I was watching the father/daughter interaction play out before me, I was tearing up. I quickly pushed down my emotions and tried giggling at the father/daughter duo before me.

  Annie showed me where to sit.

  “Daddy always serves us the meal. You just have to sit here and tell him what you want… kay?”

  “Annie, Milly can get her own food if she wants.”

  “Nope! I want the royal treatment here just like Malibu Barbie. You know a girl could get used to this.”

  Cree just shook his head and chuckled. Minutes later, he placed our plates in front of us and I froze with fear and terror. Cree had made mac n’ cheese for dinner. My poppy was the only one that made me this meal. I loved eating it when he would make it for me growing up, but it always reminded me of my empty tummy and my wet underwear. I haven’t had mac n’ cheese since my Poppy died.

  “Daddy makes the best mac n’ cheese. He is the best cooker!”

  “It’s just from the box, so don’t get too worked up over it Milly”

  I watched Cree kiss the top of Annie’s head as she dug into her food. He loved her and cherished her like a father should. He fed her mac n’ cheese and kissed her forehead. He loved her. My mind instantly flashed back to a little girl who sat in a corner for three days in urine-soaked clothes, shaking with fear that her daddy would come back and whip her bottom for peeing. The little girl’s one wish was to have her daddy come back and cook her mac n’ cheese.

  “Um, Milly? Are you ok?” asked Annie.

  I looked up to realize that Cree and Annie were staring at me. I tried to talk, but my voice was frozen with fear. That one horrible memory just hijacked all rational thoughts. I started to feel tears sting my eyes. I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. Cree’s love for his daughter unleashed emotional pain within me that I couldn’t control.

  “It’s just mac n’ cheese, Dolly. If you don’t like it, I can make something else for you.”

  “It’s okay, Cree. I’m so sorry that I am crying. I haven’t been a guest in someone’s house for years.”

  Then I looked at Annie, “I’m perfect. My heart right now is just overflowing watching your daddy take care of you. When I was your age I wanted my daddy to cook me mac n’ cheese, but he didn’t want to. It makes me very, very happy that your daddy wanted to cook us mac n’ cheese.”

  “Milly, my daddy will cook you mac n’ cheese whenever you want it. When you are having a really bad day, daddy even sprinkles magic dust on your mac n’ cheese to take away all your sadness. He does it for me all the time.”

  Annie then gives Cree a very serious look and says, “Daddy you better get those special sprinkles.”

  Cree made his way across the kitchen and came back with a bottle of sprinkles. Yes, confetti sprinkles - the kind you put on a cake. He opened the lid, then did a funny little dance, wriggling his hips and spinning around, while sprinkling my mac n’ cheese at the same time. He even tossed some over his shoulder, spraying us with sprinkles. Annie loved the show her father was putting on.

  “You now have magical mac n’ cheese! Enjoy!” Cree said, and then he bent over and kissed my forehead again.

  I started giggling.

  “Twust me, it works Milly!” Annie said, while shoveling her food into her mouth.

  I followed suit and started shoveling my food into my mouth. Funny thing is I too now believe in the magic of Cree’s sprinkles, because the rest of the night was the best night of my life.

  Chapter 12

  Iced Coffee Kisses

  I have been eating
dinner every night with Cree and Annie. I look forward to dinner every day, sometimes barely containing my excitement. Lacey also started joining us. It is quite the circus some nights, with all four of us telling wild stories and misbehaving. Lacey isn’t the only extra guest these days. Cree’s sister, Willow, decided to move home from college. She works part-time with me at The Shop.

  We all take turns cooking. Cree makes sure that he feeds me mac n’ cheese once a week. I shared the story with him about my parents leaving me alone in the trailer, and my Poppy coming to my rescue and raising me.

  He now keeps extra sprinkles on hand. Having three girls at the dinner table can become overwhelming at times. He even had to use the magic sprinkles on Lacey’s baked potato one night after her cat of eleven years died. Even through Lacey’s grief, she couldn’t keep a straight face when Cree started his dance and shooting sprinkles everywhere.

  Annie is always the hit of dinner. We all listen very eagerly to her while she recounts her day at kindergarten and shows us all of her amazing artwork. Cree is sure he is going to have to hurt a little boy named Sawyer Hilton for hitting on his little girl at recess. We always reassure him that it is just an innocent kindergarten crush. My favorite part of the evening is snuggling up with Cree and Annie on the couch, reading her favorite stories.

  Cree shows up for his morning coffee like clockwork. Annie has now started dance, so our afternoon soda dates have been cancelled. Cree no longer drives up to the window for his coffee in the morning, he comes in to pick it up.

  One morning Cree was harassing me about how easy my job was, so I challenged him to make me a cup of coffee. Cree gladly accepted my challenge.

  “Want to make this interesting?” Cree asked.

  “Why yes I do. What do you have in mind, Captain?”

  “If I win, you have to cook Thanksgiving dinner. If you win I will cook Thanksgiving dinner.”

  “Wow! Pretty sure of yourself hey? Who said I will be in town?”

  “Want to shake on it Dolly?”

  I put out my hand to shake Cree’s hand to seal the fate of our bet, and he swiftly pulled me into a full-fledged kiss. Oh, he was a sneaky little pirate! We have kissed on the lips in a quick pecking fashion several times. We hadn’t yet sucked face, mainly due to the lack of privacy in our life. His lips tasted like heaven on mine. My body melted against his and I was instantly lost in him.

  I could feel his tongue lurking up and down my lips, so I opened my mouth, letting him in. His tongue explored my mouth with gentle ease. Without thinking, I let out a low moan of approval. I came up for breath in the nick of time, when Iris pulled up to the drive-thru window for her daily cup of Sunshine Mocha. I was extra giggly making her order. Cree leaned back on the counter, crossed his legs at the ankles and folded his arm across his chest to watch me work. He was quite the distraction, and he knew it.

  Once Iris left the drive-thru, Cree twisted his ball cap so that it sat backwards. He was ready for the challenge. I wanted him to make me a Blended Heaven White Chocolate Mocha. With no instructions, I urged him to get going. I tapped my fingers while he worked away. I was shocked when he actually drizzled the cup with caramel. He had me nervous for a second. The blender was the end of Cree’s short-lived victory. The blender made Cree its bitch. He didn’t snap the lid all the way down, and instead of drinking a Blended Heaven, we wore one!

  “Guess I am cooking you dinner this year!”

  “Looks like it. Can Lacey come with?”

  “Of course!”

  He moved in closer and bent down to lick the iced coffee off of my neck. He ran his tongue up and down my skin, stopping to suck on a few spots. I arched my head to the side allowing him easier access. When he lifted his head up, I noticed a chunk of iced coffee on his bottom lip, so I leaned forward and sucked on it. I then followed suit, licking up and down his neck.

  “You might have made a mess, but it taste damn good Cree!”

  I leaned up on my tiptoes to taste the coffee on his jaw line, making sure to scrape my teeth across his flesh.

  “Best coffee ever,” I whispered in his ear, then sucked hard on his lobe.

  He grabbed my waist and pushed his hardened man part into my belly. I threw my head back and moaned loudly. I ran my hand down his belly and stopped at his hard erection, rubbed it roughly through his jeans. He growled through a clenched a jaw as he watched me move my hand over him. Right when I wanted to strip down bare and let him take me then and there, his cell phone rang. He instantly grabbed it and looked at his caller ID.

  “Worst. Fucking. Timing. Ever! It’s Shawn on the farm. I have to take it Dolly.”

  I grinned and shook my head up and down. It was probably a good thing we put the brakes on this. I wouldn’t want to be caught having sex in the middle of my shop. He reached down, gave my lips one last lick and then kissed me. He mouthed I will text you as he walked out of the shop covered in coffee, with his trucker hat on backwards.

  Me: Thanks for the coffee this morning

  Cree: Thanks for letting me have a taste of your coffee

  Me: Anytime Captain!

  Cree: God! I want you…

  Me: Wow! Where did that come from?

  Cree: I’ve wanted you since the first day I laid eyes on you

  Me: Tell me more Capt’

  Cree: I can’t…in a meeting… hard-ons are considered bad business

  Me: LOL…so would it be bad if I told you I was naked getting ready to step in the shower to wash off all this sticky coffee?

  Cree: You are evil ;)

  Me: Want a picture?

  Cree: Fuck Ya I do…

  Me: Here ya go!

  Cree: You are one evil woman!

  Chapter 13

  A Family Thanksgiving

  I woke on Thanksgiving morning to a picture text from Cree. It was a picture of him and Annie smiling brightly, both sporting their bedhead for the camera. You could see the little milk mustache on Annie’s upper lip from her cereal. I saved the picture as my wallpaper on my phone and then read the message.

  Cree: Get your ass out here sleepyhead!

  Me: It’s 6:32 AM

  Cree: I want to see you

  Me: Ok Ok Ok

  Cree: Annie said come in your pjs..she wants to watch cartoons with you

  Me: You better have bacon…be shirtless…and barefoot!

  Annie was waiting at the window for me. I threw some clothes in a duffel bag, and planned on using Willow’s toiletries and make-up later in the day. Willow wasn’t home - she and Lacey had gone to some wild party the night before. As requested the bacon was cooked, and Cree was shirtless and barefoot. If I were stranded on a desert island for the rest of my life the only things I would ask for would be Cree, bacon, bare chest and bare feet. Cree brought a plate of bacon to the couch for me and the three of us snuggled up watching cartoons. Cree was up and down the whole time, checking on the food he was preparing.

  “You know, just because you won the bet doesn’t mean you couldn’t help out a little”

  “Oh, I am going to do your daughter’s hair and get us both all dressed up for your feast. I thought it was the least I could do.”

  Cree grabbed me by the waist and swung me to the ground, initiating an all-out wrestling match.

  “Milly, I will save you!”

  Annie came flying off the couch in her pink princess nightgown her wild dark hair flying everywhere. She landed right on the top of her dad. He pretended he was wounded. Then Annie and I let him have it! We doggy piled on top of him and tickled him until he cried, “Uncle.” Cree and I lay side by side on our backs on the floor, while Annie was perched on her daddy’s chest with her elbows propped up, holding her chin in place. All of us were breathing heavy and laughing from our wrestling match.

  “Daddy?”

  “Yes, sweet baby?”

  “Do you know that the prince is ‘sposed to kiss the princess?”

  “Well yeah, I guess.”

  “Daddy, I think you
should kiss your Princess Milly!”

  “What?” Cree asked, crooking his eyebrow and making a funny face.

  “I think you should kiss her so some other prince doesn’t steal her and take her to his far away kingdom wif dragons and stuff.”

  “But what if she has cooties or something?”

  “DADDY!”

  Cree turned and looked at me with the happiest face I have ever seen. He leaned over and planted a kiss firmly on my lips. It was the sweetest, gentlest kiss that has ever graced my lips. I interlaced his fingers with mine and squeezed them gently, trying to tell him how much I loved him without words.

  “YES! She is our princess now daddy!”

  The kitchen timer went off. Cree reached up and kissed Annie on her nose, and then turned and kissed my nose. Then he was off into the kitchen, preparing a feast for his princesses. Annie and I took our time getting ready for Thanksgiving.

  I made her a special dress and hair flower for Thanksgiving. She twirled in her new dress that was splattered with browns, oranges and yellow paisley patterns. Her favorite part was the shiny belt that hooked around her plump little belly. She wore grey leggings and black boots with her outfit. I pinned her hair up into two messy buns that resembled pig tails. I tied each of the buns with three pieces of coordinating ribbon, and tucked her hair flower on one side of her head.

  I wore a burnt orange miniskirt with black leggings and grey boots. My blouse was white and loose-fitting with a red tank top underneath it. I wore lots of bangle bracelets and one of Francis’ necklaces.

  Annie insisted on doing my hair, so I let her brush through it and then I convinced her that I wanted a messy bun just like hers. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun that sat off to one side, and then let Annie place a matching hair flower into my hair.

  Willow and Lacey were home now, but we refused to let them invade our dress up party. Annie and I were locked in Cree’s master bathroom, enjoying our alone time together. Cree kept banging on the door, insisting that he needed us. When we finally made our way out of the bathroom, Cree was perched on his bed with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other. He was watching football on his Flat Screen TV. When his eyes met ours, he instantly started to tear up. Annie ran to his side and hugged him with all her strength.