by Louise Guy
Hannah smiled. ‘Kind of, but another part of me thinks we should make them sweat it out a bit longer. Can you believe they were willing to take that sort of risk?’
‘They’re more desperate for money than I realised.’
‘They need to sell the house. Real estate in East Malvern is worth a fortune.’
Nat nodded. ‘I’ll talk to Dad. See if he needs a hand getting a real estate company involved. You were right when you said there are other ways to feel close to Mum.’
The coffee arrived, and Nat wrapped her hands around the steaming mug, still feeling shaky from the excitement and shock of the morning.
‘Was Julian working with the police on this?’
Hannah nodded. ‘Sort of. Just from the information I passed him. He has a contact on the force who’s kept him in the loop. After he passed on my information, they contacted me, as I mentioned, and met with me last night. Until now the police haven’t been able to track Jacob or Eliza down. In the last two days they’ve had agents posing as investigators in the chat room. It appears we weren’t the only ones that Eliza was having private conversations with. The police weren’t able to engage her, even though one of their agents was talking to her and discussing investing. They asked to meet with her, and she declined.’
‘Really? So why did they organise the meet-up with you today? It makes no sense.’
‘No, it doesn’t. Although she had built a relationship with us, whereas her relationship with the undercover cop is very new. Both Jacob and Eliza were clever. They might have decided it was too risky at this late stage.’
‘I’m surprised they risked having lunch with me that day. What if they’d been caught on camera or something?’
‘Apparently they were. The restaurant had some CCTV footage, but as their images didn’t match up with any databases they couldn’t be identified. Jacob also paid the tab with cash, leaving no credit card trail. I guess they must have known they’d be hard to track down. We can ask the police more when we speak to them. Julian said to expect contact this morning.’
Nat shook her head. ‘One thing’s for sure, I’ll never be visiting another chat room. You can’t trust anyone. I trusted both you and Eliza and look at what I got. Eliza scamming my family out of money and you enjoying a phoney relationship with your sister and thinking it meant something.’
Hannah’s face crumbled. ‘Believe me, Nat, it meant something to me. Based on our conversations in the chat room I think we can be friends. I know I need to be less bossy and more interested in what you’re doing. I listened to everything you said, and I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted up until now. As stupid as it might sound, I think when Mum died, I lived in a permanent state of panic that something would happen to you or Phyllie or Dad.’ Hannah’s cheeks flamed red as she raised her eyes to meet Nat’s. ‘It’s no excuse, but me trying to control things was to prevent another tragedy. After the accident, and even now, I think of the worst-case scenario and do everything I can to try and prevent that from happening.’
More tears welled in Hannah’s eyes. ‘I’ll never forget that day, Nat. If I hadn’t insisted on that saddle, we might not have gone riding. The accident could have been avoided.’
Nat stared at her sister. ‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘But Dad wanted to take Mum to the theatre and out for dinner. If only I’d gone along with that and not pushed her to go riding.’
Nat drew in a breath. Hannah actually believed it was her fault? That was ridiculous. She reached across and squeezed her hand. ‘You didn’t have to push Mum to go riding. It would have been exactly what she wanted to do that day. Dad might have suggested the theatre but Mum would have only gone along to please him. Remember she fell asleep through Cats and Phantom of the Opera, so it was hardly her thing. And, don’t forget, Mum rode without a helmet all the time. It could have happened on any of those days.’
Hannah sighed. ‘You’re probably right; she didn’t love the theatre, but I’ll still always wish I’d thought of something different for her present that year. I’ve always thought that if I’d changed just one little thing she’d be with us. I guess I do that with everything now too. I try and look at ways to make sure there’s a safe and secure outcome, which of course has come across as controlling. I’m sorry, Nat, I really am. Your life is yours to live and I should be completely supportive of your choices. After the accident I did everything I could to protect us, and that seems to have become a huge part of my personality. Avoiding risk, wrapping Amy in cotton wool and having far too many opinions. I am trying to change my behaviour.’
‘I always thought you resented me after the accident and that’s why you became so overbearing – to punish me.’
Hannah frowned. ‘Why would I resent you?’
‘Because I’d lied to Mum, said I was working when I was really with Callum. It was her birthday and I should have put her first, not myself.’
Hannah shook her head. ‘I never resented you. If anything I was incredibly sad for you that you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. We both did things behind Mum and Dad’s backs all the time. It was just really bad luck. I know I changed that day, but it wasn’t because of anything you did. It was because I was devastated and wanted to make sure we never had to go through something like that again.’
Nat stared at her sister, who was gripping their mother’s heart-shaped pendant. This was probably the most honest and raw Nat had ever seen her. They’d both suffered with guilt since the day of the accident and taken it out on each other in different ways. If only they’d spoken about it back then. Regardless of their confessions now, Nat wasn’t sure she’d be able to trust Hannah again. Presenting herself as a stranger in the chat room was a form of betrayal. Nat couldn’t come to terms with how she felt about it right now. She sipped her coffee, then stood. ‘I’m going to go. I’ve got so much to think about, and I want to check up on Phyllie.’
‘She’s alright, isn’t she?’
Nat nodded. ‘Yes, although she was a bit weird again last night. It’ll be good when the doctor has a chance to look her over on Friday.’
‘I’d better go too. Damien’s at home with Amy, but I’m taking the rest of the day off.’ She went on to tell Nat about Amy’s accident.
‘Oh, the poor thing. Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘Maybe drop in and see her in the next couple of days. She’ll be getting a cast on Friday, and I’m hoping she might be a bit more comfortable once the swelling has gone down.’
Nat nodded. ‘Will you ring Dad, or shall I? We should let him know what’s happened.’
‘I’ll ring him on my drive home.’
They walked out of the coffee shop and on to the footpath. Hannah gave a little laugh. ‘As glad as I am that those two have been arrested, I was expecting something more dramatic, like you’d see on TV.’
Nat raised an eyebrow.
‘You know, a van screeching to a halt and ten guys dressed in black with semi-automatics jumping out and storming the cafe.’
Nat laughed. ‘In that case, what happened was very underplayed. I didn’t even see a gun.’
‘I think you’ll find they had them.’ Hannah smiled. ‘I am sorry, Nat. Please believe me, and I hope you’ll forgive me. It was an incredibly selfish thing to do, but I loved getting to know you for who you are rather than the version you allow me to see.’
Nat nodded. ‘I need some time to think everything through. As you said, it’s been a big few days. Now I’ll go home and check on Phyllie. Let me know how you go with Dad. And, Hannah, I’m sorry about what you’re going through with Damien. It couldn’t have been an easy time making that decision all those years ago. I hope you two will be okay?’
‘Thank you. I think we will be.’
The two sisters parted company, both deep in thought.
Nat frowned as she pulled to a stop in front of Phyllie’s. Leon was walking down the footpath with Rainbow ahead of him on a long lead. Had the goat escaped again
? It had better not have caused any more issues for Phyllie.
She climbed out of the car as they reached her.
He grinned and held his hands up before Nat had a chance to speak. ‘Just taking her for a walk. She hasn’t been out on her own. Thought we could both use some exercise.’
Nat smiled. ‘Okay, good to know. Not every day you see a man walking his goat.’
Leon laughed.
‘I wouldn’t stop for long though.’ She nodded at Rainbow, who was now chomping on Phyllie’s magnificent display of yellow marigolds.
‘Shit!’ Leon pulled the goat away and waved to Nat as they continued on in the direction of his house and garden.
‘Tell Phyllie I’ll be down with a box of chocolates tomorrow.’ He winked. ‘Gives me an excuse to visit both of you.’
Nat smiled. He was cute, charming and flirtatious. She was looking forward to their date, if it was a date, on the weekend. Her stomach fluttered at the thought. It was nice to smile after the stress of the day. She was still blown away to think that Suze was Hannah. What were the chances of them meeting like that? Knowing she’d kept the secret of Damien’s parentage for twelve years, she might never have revealed her online identity if the Eliza situation hadn’t imploded. Nat was beginning to wonder if she knew her at all. She did have to admit, she preferred her friend Suze to her sister.
The front door was locked, so Nat used her key and pushed it open. She had stopped at the shops on the way home and bought a bottle of Phyllie’s favourite Prosecco. She thought they could spend the afternoon on the small patio in the back garden that caught the winter sun and she would fill Phyllie in on all that had happened. Her grandmother had been very interested in the whole Eliza and Suze friendship, so she imagined her eyes bulging when she told her the story.
When Nat walked in, Phyllie was asleep in her armchair, a lopsided smile on her face. She didn’t wake her, instead she went through to the kitchen and put the bottle in the fridge. She’d chill some glasses and have them ready for when Phyllie woke up, although she was probably going to want a coffee before she moved on to wine. She switched on the kettle and sat down at the kitchen table. A photo album was lying open with a blank page. She turned to the next page and found a photo of a young Phyllie and her husband, Nat’s grandfather, staring back at her. Their arms around each other and laughing at the camera. They looked so young and happy. It was hard to believe she’d never met her grandfather. That Phyllie had been widowed when she was forty and lived the next forty-nine years alone. Nat continued to turn the pages of the album. She hadn’t seen these photos before. She wondered if Hannah had. She bet she’d love to see them.
She glanced at the clock in the kitchen. Phyllie would probably be mad at her if she let her sleep for too long, as she’d be up all night. Nat stood and walked through to the living room. The lopsided smile was still on Phyllie’s lips, and the missing photo from the album was gripped in her left hand. Nat smiled as she slid it carefully from her hand and looked at it. It was of her grandfather, in his air force uniform, proudly standing next to a plane, his captain’s cap under one arm. He looked like a model. She could only imagine how much Phyllie must miss him. She hoped one day she’d love someone with the same intensity as her grandmother had loved Frederick.
Phyllie’s hand had dropped to her side after Nat removed the photo, making her look incredibly uncomfortable. It was time to wake her.
‘Phyllie?’ Nat kept her voice low, not wanting to scare her.
She repeated her name a few times and then took her hand, planning to give it a gentle squeeze. Nat froze. Phyllie’s hand was cold. Not cool, but cold.
‘Phyllie?’ She spoke louder and gave her a shake. There was no response. Nat put her fingers on her grandmother’s neck, praying she would find a pulse, but all she felt was cold, taut skin. She dropped her hand and sank to her knees.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The tightness in Hannah’s chest seemed to be worsening as each day passed. Phyllie was eighty-nine, they’d all known she was coming to the end of her life, but nothing had prepared Hannah for the shock and grief she would feel at losing the woman who’d filled the role of mother and grandmother for most of her life. Everyone said that time would help heal the loss, but right now she felt like she was suffocating. She’d taken time off from work, and if it wasn’t for Amy, she doubted she’d have the energy to get out of bed each morning. How could they go on without Phyllie’s wisdom and humour in their lives? It was unfathomable. She wasn’t the only one struggling. It was an enormous loss for the entire family. The coroner confirmed the cause of death was a massive stroke, and when Nat had spoken about Phyllie’s drooping cheek and her headache earlier that morning, it all added up. Further discussions also suggested that their concerns about Phyllie showing signs of dementia were wrong. Her headaches, dizziness and memory problems indicated she might have suffered one or possibly several silent strokes.
‘What time’s Nat coming over?’ Damien asked as Hannah stared blankly into her coffee cup.
She looked up, conscious of the worry in his eyes. ‘In about an hour.’
He nodded then came around the island bench and put his arms around her. ‘Why don’t I make you an omelette or some toast and then you go and have a shower before Nat gets here?’
Hannah shook her head. ‘I don’t feel like food.’
Damien sighed. ‘Babe, you have to eat. It’s been a week and you’re fading away. I know how much you’re hurting, and I’d do anything to bring Phyllie back, but I can’t watch you slide into a depression.’
Tears filled Hannah’s eyes. ‘I’m grieving. It’s normal.’
He stroked her hair. ‘I know that, but I also know that if Phyllie were here right now she would give you a swift kick up the backside.’
A gurgled noise, something between a sob and a laugh, escaped Hannah’s mouth. Damien pulled her closer. He was right, of course. Phyllie would be furious if she could see how Hannah, someone she would normally count on to be the strong one in the family, had fallen to pieces.
‘You know, I’m pretty sure that not getting out of your pyjamas three days in a row presents a seventy-four percent increased risk of suffering from depression in the future.’
Hannah pulled back from Damien and looked at him, seeing the humour in his eyes. ‘You made that up.’
He nodded. ‘I did. But that’s the sort of stuff you should be spouting at Nat and your dad. Look at what a great job you’ve done with helping Amy cope.’
Hannah nodded. When she was with Amy, she made a huge effort to comfort her, talking about what Phyllie would want her to remember about her and emulate in the way she lived her own life. But the moment her daughter left the room, Hannah sank back into her own thoughts and sadness. Phyllie had been the backbone of their family. The person you could go to for advice, knowing you would not be judged and always be helped. While Hannah was a strong woman and capable of making her own decisions, knowing she had Phyllie’s strength to fall back on had always been comforting. Now she had no one.
‘You have me and Nat, your dad and Sue, you know,’ Damien said, as if reading her thoughts. ‘I know it’s not the same, but all of us are there for you anytime you need us.’
Hannah leaned forward and kissed her husband. ‘Thank you. And you’re right. I need to get myself out of this funk. I’ll go and have a shower and eat something once Nat gets here.’
Damien smiled, his eyes still filled with worry.
An hour later, Hannah returned downstairs feeling more human. She’d washed and dried her hair and put on jeans and a t-shirt rather than the pyjamas she’d been living in. She could hear Nat and Damien chatting in the kitchen.
She stopped at the kitchen door when she saw Nat. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her face pale and drawn. Her heart immediately ached. Nat had been living with Phyllie. She’d be feeling her absence even more than Hannah.
She went straight over and hugged her, tears rolling down her cheeks as Nat b
egan to cry.
Damien cleared his throat. ‘I’ll be out in the back garden if you need anything.’ He left the sisters in their joint grief.
Eventually they pulled apart and Hannah passed her the tissue box.
Nat gave a weak smile as she wiped her tears. ‘I’ve been through a lot of these this week.’
‘Me too.’
‘She’d kill us if she could see us,’ Nat said. ‘You know that, don’t you?’
Hannah smiled. ‘That’s pretty much what Damien said to me earlier this morning. But how can we not be sad?’
‘It doesn’t help that we have to wait a month after her death to have any kind of goodbye for her. Why on earth did she make that a stipulation in her will?’
Hannah shrugged. ‘Phyllie had a reason for everything she did. I’m not sure if we’ll ever find out why she did that, but I’m sure she thought it was a good idea. At least it’s given us plenty of time to plan the celebration she wanted and let everyone know.’
‘Let them all know they can’t come, you mean.’
Hannah smiled. ‘We have to follow her wishes. Immediate family, Verna and Leon only. Verna said her friends are organising their own celebration of her life just to spite her.’
Nat laughed at this. ‘Good for them.’
‘Do you want to move in with us?’ Hannah suddenly asked. ‘Living at Phyllie’s must be really hard.’
‘No, it keeps her feeling close.’ She blushed. ‘And Leon’s been checking in on me every day, which has been rather nice. But it’s the house I wanted to talk to you about. She left the house to both of us. I’d like to keep living there but I can’t afford to buy you out. I’ll understand if you want to sell and split the money, but ideally I’d like to save and eventually buy you out.’
Tears filled Hannah’s eyes again. ‘I’d love you to stay there. Phyllie is such a part of that house, I’ll be able to visit her and you at the same time.’ She stared at Nat as the words left her lips. ‘This is how you feel about Dad’s house, isn’t it? Oh Nat, I’m so sorry. Losing Phyllie’s home would be like losing another part of her. I didn’t feel like that about Mum with Dad’s house. Maybe it’s because Mum’s been gone for so long. I don’t know. I’m sorry I didn’t get it until now. And I think it’s probably too late.’
