by Allison Rios
She turned her back on him, smiling sweetly at Devin. She kept a safe distance from him, not allowing him close enough to touch her. She only allowed him close enough to feel as though she were letting her guard down.
“Hi Devin.”
“Hi Addie. Everything okay?” he asked, enjoying the anger she displayed at the one person he had a complete dislike for.
“Everything’s just fine. AJ was just leaving. Hopefully permanently,” she added, loud enough for them to hear. She turned to sneer at Max and AJ, who had already begun heading towards their car.
“You settling in your new place?” she asked, turning her attention back to Devin.
“I guess. A bit small, but okay for now.”
“Listen, I wanted to apologize for last night.”
“No need!” he replied.
“Yes, there is. It’s AJ’s fault. He seems to have these feelings for me and he just won’t leave me alone. It’s frustrating, this jealousy he has. It’s borderline ridiculous.”
“Well, sometimes a guy can’t help himself around a woman as pretty as you.”
“Aren’t you sweet?” she said, mustering all her strength to smile back at him. “How about we start over, you and me?”
“I like the sound of that,” he replied, savoring the words as they came out of her mouth. The fear he could stir in AJ by spending time with Addie would be great. It seemed too good to be true. He wanted to touch her, inflict the ultimate pain on AJ. He withheld his temptations in anticipation of a long, drawn out torture. He knew that hurting just Addie wouldn’t be enough. “What did you have in mind?”
“Let’s see…well, you’re pretty new here. I could show you some of my favorite places from growing up. Places only a couple people know about. Pretty private places,” she said slowly, praying he would take the bait.
He kept smiling, taking joy in the prospect of the emotional rollercoaster he would be sending people on very shortly.
“That sounds like a very…good…time,” he replied, emphasizing his words. “Shall we say, tomorrow?”
He had taken the bait, perhaps too easily.
“Tomorrow. Perfect! How about you meet me here in town about noon? I’ll pack us a lunch. Wear comfortable shoes, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt,” she said, smiling sweetly.
“Good thing I’m a doctor, in case I do,” he laughed. He was excited, already anticipating how close he might be able to get to her.
“Then it’s a date. I’ll see you tomorrow. Comfy shoes, good food, and lots of privacy.”
“Until then, have a good day, Addie.”
“You too, Devin.” She turned around to walk to her car, Devin staring after her. She was nervous knowing AJ wasn’t there anymore and that she was alone at the moment. She slowed her pace to defray any questions.
She looked back over her shoulder and he was still staring. She forced the corners of her mouth upwards one final time as she hopped into her car, waving as she passed the Grim. She held her breath for another 30 seconds and, once clearly out of view, began sobbing uncontrollably.
**************************************************
She pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. Her first instinct was to run across the street to AJ, although she had no way of knowing if Devin had followed her. She couldn’t risk it. She looked in the direction of the B&B before racing up her stairs and slamming her front door shut again after fumbling with her keys to unlock it.
AJ watched, stricken by her fear. He knew he shouldn’t have let her do this, he yelled to himself. She was obviously scared. This wasn’t her battle and he felt responsible for what he was putting her through. He paced the floor in his room, the anger welling up inside of him. It made him feel stronger, more powerful, and he knew he had to harness that for tomorrow. Devin would not be a threat to them anymore. He wouldn’t allow it.
His body was sweating, his mind racing. He took down the curtains. It didn’t matter if Devin saw him watching Addie; he wanted Devin to see it. He wanted Devin to feel as if AJ were weak; sad even. He wanted to see Devin, because it would fuel his own anger and allow him to be stronger.
He backed away from the window. He wouldn’t go run as he normally did for release. He couldn’t leave Addie there. Even though he couldn’t see her, he wanted her to know he was right across the street. Instead he stayed near the window, working out his frustrations in other ways - sit-ups, pushups, jogging in place. Pretend boxing. He’d try and read for a bit, only to find his mind had never absorbed a word on the page.
It was hours until sunrise. With the strength passed onto him from the group earlier in the day, he had the energy of ten men. He walked out of the house, finding a comfortable spot on the porch swing. He watched Addie’s house and saw her shadow pacing in the light from her bedroom window.
18 A MOTHER’S LOVE
AJ’s thoughts drifted to his mother.
Before she died, they spent a lot of time talking about everything from school to girls. Anything to distract them from the pains she felt shooting through her body thanks to the cancer ravaging her on the inside.
What they hadn’t discussed were the important things. When it came time to plan a funeral, the funeral director had asked him what her favorite species of flowers were so that they could incorporate them into the service.
It had been a moment that stunned AJ. He felt embarrassed and ashamed, his face on fire with the realization that he did not know his mother’s favorite flowers. It wasn’t the first time the funeral director had seen the reaction and he quickly spoke up to say that most mothers adore lilies and so that is what they would do.
After the services were done and AJ was left at the graveside unable to move because of grief, the same funeral director sat down in the chair next to him. He had seen his share of loneliness through his line of work and wanted to pass down the same wisdom that he had been granted through decades of working in the profession.
“The road of life is not an easy one,” he began, his hands moving as he spoke. “There are ups and downs and it’s a fact of life that people will come and go like the winds through the trees. We’re lucky if we find a couple to keep for a lifetime, and even luckier to find a few to love us back. Mothers are the rarest of the rare, born to love their children through good and bad. When we lose that love, it can be devastating. This is when we must remember all they did for us and all they gave up for us, and return that favor to them.”
“How?” AJ responded, not moving a muscle, not turning his head.
The suit felt so restricting on his body. Then again, he didn’t even feel comfortable in his own skin. He was frozen, as if getting up might make the situation even more real than it was. He had been with her, caring for her for so long that to leave her alone there in the cemetery – although it was only her physical body – felt wrong to him. He felt as though a piece of him would be forever buried six feet underground.
“By living. By learning from the joys and the mistakes that we’ve made in our lives and by moving forward, creating better memories and better relationships. We ask the people we love what their favorite things are, like flowers or candy or colors, and we celebrate those things. Not for the sake of anniversaries or presents, but for the sake of being able to walk down the street and know that we loved a person enough to ask. Time is not a guarantee. It’s not a promise that we are granted. Some people are on this earth for moments, some for a hundred years. Most of us are right in between and should consider ourselves lucky to have the days that we do. Make them count. Make her memory count. She will always live as long as you keep living because you are the best part of her – and she would agree to that, as most mothers would.”
He patted AJ heartily on the back with the same demeanor a father would.
“Stay here as long as you like. Just remember that your life is not buried here in this ground; it is somewhere out there, waiting for you to live it.”
**********************************************
****
“Hello?” she asked, placing the decade-old wall phone to her ear, the cord nearly tripping her as she walked towards the refrigerator to get a drink.
“Hi,” she heard the soft voice answer back, almost whispering as if Devin would hear.
“Hi stranger,” she answered, a smile spreading across her lips.
She closed the refrigerator door milk jug in hand, and leaned back against the cool steel of the door. Hearing his voice made her feel better and put her soul at ease. She was nervous about tomorrow and about what might happen to AJ. She’d spent so much time being angry at him, so much time avoiding him because she’d been so mad he had refused to be with her even though he loved her. At this moment, however – knowing he was facing death and she might not have many more days with him – she would take a simple friendship over nothing at all.
“You okay?” he asked. She moved over to the kitchen window knowing he’d be at his own window looking over at her. She peeked through the blinds and sure enough, she saw his shadow through the glass. She instantly felt more at ease, more relaxed.
“I will be, once you’re okay,” she replied, wishing she could wave to him. She knew she shouldn’t. She couldn’t tell if the Grim was near or not.
She stepped back in from the window and pulled out the old cherry wood chair from the table, sitting down with her feet on the seat, her knees pulled into her chest.
“Addie, what’s your favorite flower?”
She was taken aback by the question; a bit odd considering the day they had in front of them.
“Why? You gonna pick me a bouquet?”
“No. Maybe someday. I just wanted to know. I know about Robert, Rose, and more about Joseph than I care to. I don’t know you, who you really are. I don’t want to know about all the things that have happened in your life. Wait, that didn’t come out right. I do want to know those things. I guess I want to know the more important things, the everyday things that are important to you.”
“Daisies,” she responded, smiling.
“Why daisies?”
“I have to have a reason?”
“I just figured it would be Rose, since that’s what you named your daughter. What makes daisies your favorite? You can’t just make it up. There’s a reason for everything.”
“They’re different. They’re pretty, only in a different way than a rose. They have this center that has a purpose. It isn’t pretty. It is what surrounds that center that makes the entire flower whole. Most people like roses because they’re considered romantic and beautiful when they bloom, but I prefer daisies. Daisies are beautiful in their own right. Rose wasn’t named after a flower.”
“Then what was she named after?”
“It was supposed to be Reese, but Robert’s handwriting was really messy on the information for the birth certificate and the nurse spelled it wrong. In light of everything that had happened in those few days, I just needed something to laugh about; something to not be angry about. That was it. I mean, how often does something like that happen? It almost seemed as if her name was always meant to be Rose.”
“Is that true, or are you just making it up?”
“True story, scout’s honor. I promised never to lie to you, remember?”
He paused, the tone of the conversation changing. “I don’t want you worrying about me tomorrow,” he said, sitting down in his own chair. He was partly angry with her for agreeing to do this. It was dangerous. She could get hurt, and Rose would be alone. She had argued that she’d be no good to Rose if anyone from town – especially AJ – died because she didn’t help. He understood the fear of living with the guilt of not choosing the right path; he wasn’t about to take the decision away from her.
“That’s asking a little much,” she said, a laugh escaping her lips.
“You’re going on a date with a man who could end your life with the touch of a finger, and me asking you to not worry about me is a bit much? I knew you were complicated and confused, I just didn’t realize how much.”
It was true. Her life had been nothing except complicated and confused, and yet he was the only thing that made sense to her. She raised her thumb to her mouth, biting her nail. She’d been doing it a lot lately.
“I’m so sorry Addie. This is the way things have to be between us. I never meant to get this close to anyone and then have to pull away.”
“I understand,” she whispered. Part of her truly did. She couldn’t imagine the things he had seen and the burden he had to bear by knowing what he did.
“I swear nothing will happen to you tomorrow,” he said with fierceness. He wanted to ease her worry, to make her believe it would all be okay.
“I know you’ll protect me.”
“If anything happens-“
“Nothing is going to happen, AJ. Nothing. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be friends a very long time.”
. She could hear him breathing. What she hadn’t picked up on was the tear streaming down his cheek. He was scared.
“When all of this is done, will you be staying in town?” she asked. It hadn’t been discussed before. She felt her heart aching by only being able to speak to him, be his friend. She didn’t know if she could take a lifetime of watching him from afar when her heart felt the way it did.
“Do you want me to?” He didn’t want to make her worry by a realization that he wouldn’t be around.
She did. She didn’t. She wasn’t sure.
“Will it be hard to be here, to watch Rose and I grow up?”
“Probably,” he replied. He couldn’t lie to her anymore. She knew it would be hard for him. And he didn’t want her to feel unloved. He did love her; it was the circumstances that prevented him from being with her. He always wanted to be sure she knew the difference. “I’d rather take a lifetime of pain than watch you experience a minute of it.”
“A little late for that AJ,” her voice softly said across the line. “If I can’t be with you….” She was right, and he knew it. “Please be careful.” Her tone turned serious.
He understood her concern. The battle would be twice as difficult for him since his mind would be focusing on two important things: first and foremost keeping Addie safe, and secondly, defeating Devin
“Always and forever,” he replied, taking one last glance out his window.
“Always and forever,” she replied. Her stomach felt as though it were on fire, the fear of tomorrow starting to set in. She knew how well she’d have to act tomorrow to pull off the intended plan. “Look on your table.”
He hadn’t noticed it before although it was glaringly obvious now. There sat a box, small and maroon with a ribbon on top.
“A ribbon?” he asked sarcastically.
“It’s automatic at the store. It goes on any gift.”
“Why would you get me something?” he asked with a tingling in his heart.
“Just open it,” she whispered. “I don’t know what Healers believe in. It was the only thing that struck me in the store.”
He lowered his hand from the phone, keeping it in place with his shoulder and his head. He slowly tugged at the ribbon, opening the box to reveal a medallion. He picked it up between his fingers, the chain trailing underneath.
“It’s a St. Christopher medal,” she said quietly. “It’s for protection. I don’t know if it works but I figured it couldn’t hurt.”
He twisted it in his fingers, running them over the cool, steel surface. “I love it.”
He placed it around his neck and she could hear the chain touch against the phone. “Night,” she whispered.
“Night.” She held the phone held at her ear until she heard the click of his hanging up. She let it slide down into her lap, taking a deep breath.
“Relax,” she said to herself with another deep breath. “You pretended to love Joseph. You can most certainly pretend to like Devin.”
She stood up, hanging up the phone and walking towards her bedroom. She knew she’d never sleep. She convinced
herself that maybe lying down would make the night go by a little faster. She looked in the mirror and almost laughed at who she was. Just a month ago she’d been a normal girl, working, raising her daughter. All of a sudden she was about to watch firsthand a battle between good and evil, between two groups that no other human in the world knew existed. It was so surreal she almost wondered if she’d only been dreaming the entire time.
**************************************************
AJ was at a crossroads and couldn’t sleep. He walked as lightly and carefully as he could down the stairs to the kitchen, trying his best not to wake up Helen. He didn’t want to see her; if he failed tomorrow her life would be at risk and he couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to her because he wasn’t strong or smart enough.
As he turned the corner of the last stair, he saw Max seated at the table. He was hunched over a coffee mug, his strong shoulders looking a bit wearier than they had in previous years.
“You can’t sleep either?” Max whispered, not needing to turn to know his friend was there.
“Nope. Seems to be going around,” AJ replied, pulling up a chair and sitting down.
“You scared?”
“A little. A lot, actually. What if-”
Max cut him off immediately. “There’s no ‘what if’ AJ. It will work. It will be okay.”
“Did you see that in a vision?”
Max didn’t respond. The silence spoke louder than words.
“Max, you need to take care of Addie tomorrow.”
The desperateness in AJ’s tone was unsettling. If Max could focus on Addie, AJ would be better able to focus more intently on the Grim. He knew Max would protect her at all costs.
“You know I will,” Max said, placing his hand on AJ’s arm. AJ took his free hand and placed it on top of Max’s.
“I know you will. I couldn’t take it if something happened to her.”
