by Anna Jacobs
‘We had thought John, remember?’
He wriggled uncomfortably. ‘If that’s what you want.’
‘I want us both to choose the name and be happy with it.’
‘John is a very short name, isn’t it?’
‘We could have it as a second name.’
He was looking down at his feet as he muttered, ‘I like the name Christopher. Do you?’
‘Yes. Very much.’
‘You do?’ He looked up at her again.
‘I really do. Christopher John Seaton would make a fine name.’
‘I like that.’ He reached out to touch his son’s hand with one gentle finger. The baby grasped his finger tightly, making Ernest gasp in delight and hold his breath for a moment.
A voice from the doorway broke the spell. ‘Very touching. Am I allowed to see my grandson now? Rhoda tells me he’s a big baby.’
Kathleen hadn’t even heard her father-in-law come back up the stairs and felt annoyed. Couldn’t he even give them a few minutes to savour this important moment?
He came across to the cradle and stared down. ‘He looks healthy, anyway. Well done, Kathleen.’
‘I couldn’t have done it without my husband.’
He studied his son, then his grandson. ‘Well done, Ernest. You’re a father now and you know what, you looked just like that when you were born.’ He reached out to touch the baby’s soft little hand. ‘Aha!’ He showed them a small mark at the wrist then bared his own wrist. ‘That’s the Seaton birthmark. I have one and so does Ernest.’
She knew without further explanation what he was telling her, that he accepted the child as his descendant. ‘We’re calling him Christopher John.’
He nodded approvingly. ‘My father was Christopher James.’
‘Then the choice of name should please you.’ Her eyes challenged his.
‘Yes. I must say, you look surprisingly well for a woman just out of labour. Shouldn’t you be resting in bed?’
‘No. I feel fine. Having a baby is a perfectly natural thing, you know, not an illness. And the doctor said it happened very quickly, so it didn’t tire me out.’
He looked as if his smile was reluctant, but it was a smile nonetheless. ‘Good. And do you want to come and live in my house now, Kathleen?’
‘Thank you, but no. I think we’d be happier with a place of our own and you and your wife would be happier without us under your feet all the time, not to mention how loudly a baby can cry. Is she coming to see the baby?’
‘I haven’t told her about the marriage or the baby.’
‘What? Are you so ashamed of me?’
‘No. I’m ashamed of her. And I’m worried that she’d tell my nephew, Godfrey about you. He’s trying to poke his nose into my business.’
As she opened her mouth to protest, he held up one hand. ‘Leave that to me. And stay out of sight. Just be glad you can have a few peaceful years before you have to face up to my family’s conflicts.’ He hesitated, then added, ‘I don’t trust him. He might find a way to harm the child.’
She sucked in her breath. ‘Surely not?’
‘He’s changed. I don’t trust him at all. Let me keep you safe here.’
‘Very well. There’s a rather nice cottage a few doors away from this house that would suit us just fine if we had the furniture for it. And it’d be easier to have other children if Ernest lived with me all the time.’ She held her breath. Had she asked for too much?
‘All right. I’ll pay the rent for the cottage.’
‘Thank you. I’ll see about getting some furniture. You can buy some quite good pieces second-hand.’
‘There’s a lot of furniture in our attic, good quality but old-fashioned. You can have your pick of that. I’ll send a carriage for you next week to come and choose the furniture. I’ll let you know the day.’
‘Can it be a time when my father isn’t there?’
‘You don’t want to show him his grandson?’
‘He’s not interested in babies. He cares more about drinking.’
‘He’s never turned up at work drunk. I told him he’d lose his job if he ever did.’
She felt ashamed to have blackened her father’s name. ‘He wouldn’t do that, anyway. He only drinks of an evening, but he does like a few pints.’
‘Most working men do.’ He shrugged. ‘Well, it’s your choice about him seeing the baby. But you’ll not keep me away from my grandson.’
‘I’ll not try. You do care about him.’
Rhoda’s clock chimed the hour and he took out his big gold hunter watch to check the time. ‘I have to get back now. Mrs Seaton is giving a dinner party tonight and will be fussing like a mad hen.’
When he’d gone, Ernest sat down on the bed with a happy sigh. ‘I’m glad you don’t want to live with him. I don’t want him watching everything you do and shouting at you like he does me.’
‘You’ll not be living with him, either. You’ll be with me in what was Lizzie Talbot’s cottage. You’ll be coming home every night to sleep there from now on.’
‘Father will find a way to stop me.’
‘He’d better not.’ But she guessed that he would still limit the visits. He had to if he was to keep the marriage a secret. She wasn’t sure she believed him about fearing what his nephew might do, but for the time being she’d enjoy raising her son in peace. And even if Mr Seaton didn’t allow Ernest to live as he pleased, he’d surely allow him more freedom and more time with his wife, because he’d want more grandchildren.
Well, she intended to find out more about limiting the number of children. She’d heard women whispering about ‘voluntary motherhood’, as they’d called it. After she’d had another child, she intended to take a year or two off childbearing. She wasn’t going to wear herself out. Who wanted eight or ten children anyway? It’d be too many to look after properly, unless you were rich.
On the day they were taken into Swindon to choose furniture, Mrs Seaton was not at home, nor was Kathleen’s father to be seen in the stable yard attached to the house.
They didn’t see any servants about the place either, but as the former housekeeper, Rhoda knew her way round well enough to guide her young friend up to the attics.
After they’d chosen some furniture, the cart driver who had brought them to Swindon and a man she’d never seen before joined them to carry pieces of furniture out to the cart.
But she now had a very good reason to worry about Ernest’s cousin Godfrey. If Seaton feared what his nephew might do, the man must be dangerous.
Ernest wouldn’t even talk about his cousin. He scowled when she mentioned his name and said several times, ‘Don’t ever let him come into our house, Kathleen. He’s a bad man, a very bad man.’
She wouldn’t let Godfrey try to hurt her son. She’d protect that child with the last breath in her body.
One of the maids kept an eye on what the strangers were doing which was easy as they’d been ordered to stay in the servants’ quarters until the master told them they could continue their day’s work. Cook and the housekeeper grumbled. The other servants enjoyed an hour or two of freedom.
Flora slipped out to watch and try to overhear what these people were saying.
Godfrey Seaton had told her that he would pay her well for any information about what her master was up to. He’d warned her not to tell her mistress about anything she found out. Mrs Seaton would be happier if she was left in peace.
Flora managed to overhear the strangers talking and work out that Mr Ernest had got himself married. She was delighted to have something to tell Mr Godfrey. She was planning to leave this job and get married herself as soon as they’d saved enough money. She didn’t like working for the Seatons. They were not a happy family and that made for unhappy servants.
Chapter Eight
Little Christopher thrived, growing plump and rosy. But as Ernest had predicted, his father still insisted on his son spending most week nights at the family home, allowing him to come to th
e cottage only on Saturday nights until Kathleen pointed out to him that this reduced the likelihood of him fathering more children.
‘Very well. I’ll allow him the occasional midweek night at the cottage too, but if he tries to sneak out to see you at other times, I’ll withhold his wages.’
She was angry but they had no choice except to do as he ordered.
She didn’t find out for a few months that her father-in-law was hinting to people that Ernest had a woman somewhere whom he visited at weekends.
She wept about that. But when she told Auntie Rhoda she was going to take Ernest away from his father and move to another part of the country, the older woman persuaded her not to do it.
‘You know you’re married, Kathleen dear. That’s what matters. And your friends in the village know too.’
‘But why can’t Ernest and I be openly married? He can’t marry anyone else now, after all.’
‘Mr Seaton hasn’t confided in me, but it’s to do with Godfrey Seaton, I’m sure. That man gives me the shivers and I’d not like to cross him. It’s best not to anger Mr Seaton either, dear. Just put up with it and enjoy your life here.’
‘That’s all very well, but some people new to the village believe the rumours, even though we were married here, and they won’t speak to me – treat me like a fallen woman. The new curate doesn’t correct them, either, and even the doctor seems to think I’m living in sin. Can’t you tell them differently?’
She sighed. ‘Mr Seaton has warned me not to correct the rumours either.’
There was silence as Kathleen looked at her in shock, hurt to the core that she had agreed to this.
‘Why does it suddenly matter so much to you? You have a few friends here who do know the truth. You have your son, your library books, a pleasant home. Can you not be satisfied with how things are?’
‘I’m hoping to have another baby and I hate the thought of my children being called bastards.’
‘Well, just think how you’re able to save money as long as you live here. That’s important too.’
It was important but so was the presence of a good friend like Rhoda two doors away. Ernest wasn’t an interesting companion; Rhoda was stimulating, teaching her so much.
When Kathleen suspected she was expecting another child, she made the effort to change Mr Seaton’s mind. But he was adamant that she continue to live quietly in Monks Barton. He even threatened her that he’d lock Ernest up in a lunatic asylum if she didn’t do as he ordered.
So Kathleen had to put up with the arrangements. All she could do was save her money, keep her bank book safely hidden and hope that one day she’d find a way to escape.
And if no opportunity arose, well, her father-in-law couldn’t live for ever, could he? After Mr Seaton died, she’d persuade Ernest to sell the business and that’d give them enough money to buy a boarding house. At the seaside, perhaps. She’d make a simpler, more peaceful life for her poor husband, who was easy enough to please.
But she could never love her husband as a man. Because he wasn’t, not really. He was more like an overgrown child. That made her sad sometimes.
When Kathleen was certain she was expecting another child, she set aside her worries and waited patiently for the child to grow in her, enjoying the company of Auntie Rhoda, who really did feel like an aunt now, and watching her sturdy young son learn to crawl, walk and say a few simple words.
Ernest loved the boy so much it was beautiful to see, and he seemed able to interact with the child much more easily than he did with adults.
Mr Seaton came to see them every month, doing it secretly by leaving his own pony and trap at a livery stables in Swindon and using one of their vehicles and drivers. He boasted that he paid the owner five shillings each time and gave the driver an extra shilling, so that they would forget who had hired the vehicle and where he’d been in it.
This all seemed ridiculous to Kathleen but she said nothing. She was always polite to her father-in-law, even though she still felt angry at the way he was treating her.
‘That’s a fine lad,’ he said grudgingly when Christopher turned one. ‘I hope the next one will be a boy as well.’
‘With babies you get what you’re given and I shall love all my children,’ she snapped.
‘Well, this is a man’s world and women are the weaker sex – everyone knows it.’
‘You underestimate what women are capable of.’
‘You are the one who overestimates women because most of them aren’t nearly as clever as you,’ he said sourly.
‘What’s your mother like?’ she asked Ernest later. ‘Do you think she loves you?’
He looked at her as if she was speaking a foreign language. ‘No. Mother shouts a lot when Father isn’t at home. She goes out with other ladies and that’s all she cares about. I stay away from her if I can. And I haven’t told her about our Christopher. I don’t want her coming near him.’
Of course Ernest let slip to his father that Kathleen had been asking about his mother.
‘Stop asking about my wife,’ Mr Seaton ordered on the next visit. ‘I haven’t told her about these children and I’m not going to. She’s a fool and will tell everyone else, and blacken your name into the bargain.’
‘You’re doing that already.’
‘Partly to protect you from her spite and partly to protect you from Godfrey. I’m beginning to wonder if he suspects something, though I don’t see how he can have found out about you. How many times do I have to tell you to be careful and live quietly? You’ll have to take my word that it’s the best way to go. Your children will have a peaceful, happy childhood living here. You’re a good mother. Oh, and one other thing: don’t go near my younger son. I threw Alex out and I’m not having him involved in family matters. He’s disloyal, that’s what he is.’
Books helped Kathleen pass the long, lonely evening hours. She had a woman now to do all the heavy housework. Mr Seaton had insisted she hire someone and he was paying for the help, so why not? No woman she knew enjoyed scrubbing floors or doing the weekly wash.
She visited the library in the next village every week, sometimes twice a week. She also found an elderly lady in Monks Barton who could finish teaching her to type and who was glad of the extra money. She bought a second-hand typewriter with her teacher’s help.
Later her teacher introduced her to another lady who was able to teach her more about keeping accounts.
It wasn’t that Kathleen intended to be a secretary now. No, her ambitions had grown wider than that. She was definitely going to run her own business one day.
One of the pieces of furniture they’d brought from Mr Seaton’s attics was a little desk that she used for her studies, setting it in front of the window. One day when she was polishing it, she found a secret drawer by accident. From then onwards, as a precaution, she made sure her marriage lines and all their birth certificates were safely hidden there instead of among her underclothes.
She might need to prove that she’d been legally wed and her children legitimate. She’d not forgotten how easy it had been for her to get hold of her birth certificate when she ran away from home. No one was going to steal these documents from her. She didn’t even tell Rhoda about the secret drawer.
Kathleen’s second baby was born even more quickly than the first, taking only two hours from start to finish to make its entry into the world. The doctor seemed to find this rather unladylike but admitted that her nine-pound daughter was as healthy an infant as her son.
‘We’re going to call her Elizabeth Ann,’ Ernest told Dr Lowcroft. ‘We decided on names a while ago. She’s going to be pretty like her mother and Christopher is going to be tall like me.’
The doctor nodded, always seeming impatient if he had to talk to Ernest. ‘I’ll leave you to rest now, Mrs Seaton.’
Kathleen gave him a half-smile and hoped he’d take that for acceptance of his instructions. She was tired of people, usually men, telling her what to do.
The m
idwife watched him go, then chased Ernest and Auntie Rhoda out of the room while she made Kathleen more comfortable. ‘Men. What do they know? Though our doctor isn’t as bad as I’d expected.’
As she smoothed the bedcovers, she smiled at Kathleen. ‘You’re a lucky woman, Mrs Seaton, to have babies so easily.’
‘Well, I don’t want any more. Two are enough.’
‘You fall for them easily.’
‘Unfortunately.’ She hesitated, then asked, ‘I’ve heard about a lady called Annie Besant who was put on trial for writing about birth control. What exactly did she mean? How do you control the having of children except by not having relations with your husband?’
Mrs Todd looked at her, opened her mouth as if to answer then shut it again. ‘It’s forbidden to teach people about it.’
‘Do you know?’
‘I can’t help knowing in my job.’
‘I daren’t ask Dr Lowcroft because he tells old Mr Seaton everything that happens here.’
The air seemed charged with tension and Mrs Todd bent her head for a moment, then looked up. ‘I could explain it to you, but if you told anyone where you found out, I’d lose my licence to practice as a midwife.’
‘I’d never betray you. Never.’
‘I’ll think about it. There are other people who know. I’ll talk to them about you.’
It was a week before Kathleen saw Mrs Todd and raised the subject again, still determined to get the information.
‘Ask Mrs Newman,’ was all the midwife would say. ‘She believes women should be allowed to choose voluntary motherhood and she helps poorer women sometimes when it’s dangerous for them to have more children. Which is more than that arrogant young doctor will do.’
‘Auntie Rhoda does?’
‘I’m not saying another word. It’s for her to tell you, or not.’
That evening Kathleen broached the idea of not having another baby for a while. ‘Someone told me you might know how to prevent a woman falling for a baby.’
