Two Player Games: (Corrupted 5-8)

by Klaire, Jamie

  "We kissed. Right before he broke up with her."

  "Oh, I see. He thought you might..."

  "Kate, I slept with him."

  "Holy fuck! When?"

  "Two weeks ago. When we went to Submission."

  "Well, hot damn. I guess you submitted all right."

  "Then I got back with Roger and went to Mexico."

  "Yeah, I could see where that would piss him off."

  We danced a few beats before she asked, "So what are you going to do?"

  "Nothing. There is no future for me with Caleb. I've been over it a million times. Besides, I like Roger. He's normal. I met his family, and I liked them. They liked me. I want that, Kate. After all this time I don't even know if Caleb has family. But Roger..."

  "He has a son."

  "I know, but his son has a mom, and they have money. Lots of people date guys with kids."

  "Shit, what did you say to Caleb after he said he loves you?"

  "Nothing. He left. I didn't have time to say anything."

  "What would you have said if he'd stayed?"

  "I don't know."

  "But you love him, too?"

  "Yes, Kate. Yes, I do."

  At midnight, Kate and Michael left for That Other Club. Roger and I stayed another hour or so, and went back to his house for the night.

  Chapter 35

  Sticks

  Saturday we relaxed. My stomach still bothered me a little, but I was torn up over Caleb. I tried to push him from my mind, wanting to concentrate on Roger before he left for work on Sunday.

  Ten minutes after he left me I hopped into my car and headed for the drug store. Mentally I knew I wasn't pregnant, but Kate's words wouldn't leave me alone. I needed a peed-on stick to tell me no, to quiet my mind.

  All they had were two-packs, so I bought the cheapest one. I didn't need it to tell me in a computerized 8-ball-looking readout or anything else fancy, I just needed one of the two windows to stay clear.

  I took it home and peed on the stick, waiting the few minutes. After my time was up I compared what I had to the box. The box said the test window will turn blue, to prove the test was working correctly, so one blue window means 'not pregnant.' If both white windows turn blue... Well they won't. I had told Kate the truth, I was on the pill.

  Sure enough, one pristine white window remained, next to the blue control window. Good, not pregnant. I had known that before, but now I had validation.

  My week passed slowly, with only work to keep me occupied. Roger was working, and would be back in a few days, and Caleb wasn't speaking to me, so even my phone stayed quiet.

  Midway through the week Roger called, saying he was offered a different run after his normal one, and wouldn't be home this weekend after all. One of the more senior pilots had a medical issue and couldn't fly until it was taken care of, so they offered his normal flight to anyone who wanted to pick up some overtime. Roger jumped on it, saying it was a great run, and it would look good on his flight record to take it.

  I assured him I was fine with it, and I'd see him when he got back. I actually hoped he would get a similar run the next week, too. I didn't want to know he was waiting around and wondering when the day finally came to get Jessica alone. I knew my mind would be torn having Roger in town entertaining himself as Caleb and I went one last time together.

  Caleb. I tried to push him from my mind all week. Some days that worked better than others. When I let myself think about everything he had said, my heart broke a little. He said he ached for me, that he loved me, and he wanted me to be happy.

  My body responded to those words every time they ran through my head. I knew if I let my body decide, it would run to Caleb and submit to his every whim. Caleb's touches and kisses were intoxicating, and the very basic core of me responded to him in every way.

  It was always reason which pulled me away from him. We had already been down that road, and it had ended in heartbreak for me. I knew Caleb was telling me the truth, and he would give up these clubs for me, if I would just give up wanting a wedding and eventual babies.

  I let myself imagine it for a minute- Caleb mine again. My body practically hummed at the thought as I imagined it all through. Caleb and I together at the normal club, only going to any after-hours clubs when it suited me. I took my imagination farther- I liked some of those clubs. I could see us going a couple of times, with Kate and Michael. I could see us actually taking classes from Mistress Jessica even.

  My breathing sped up, thinking of her teaching Caleb to dominate me. Teaching me to submit to him, and everything that meant for us personally.

  Then I saw Caleb, reaching out to other women, trying to get them to join us. I saw Caleb's phone ringing, with female names from the clubs gracing his caller ID again. Keeping secrets from me, telling me only parts of things I needed to know. I saw doubt starting to reassert itself. I imagined becoming one of those women who checked her man's phone every time he showered.

  I mentally saw Kate and Michael announcing their engagement at some future time, and me being happy for them, pretending a wedding wasn't something I needed. I saw Kate ripe with her first child, and imagined going to her baby shower, trying not to be bitter that it would never happen to me. The timeline continued to play out and I saw it fork. I saw me becoming more and more bitter, the family I wanted to have getting farther away with each year of great sex with Caleb. Or I saw the other side of that fork- me getting desperate and 'accidentally' forgetting to take my pills. I saw myself telling Caleb I was pregnant and him getting pissed. I wasn't sure if he would leave us or if he would stay, bitter himself, as he raised a kid he never wanted, working more and more to stay away from us and the house. Partnering with a younger, fun, fearless female cop, telling her all about how sucky his home life was and how he just knew I'd trapped him into a life he had been very vocal about not wanting.

  I compared that future to a future with Roger. A ring on my finger, our kids running around in the crowd of kids at his sister's house. Family dinners, becoming close with his sisters, watching each other's kids as they all grew up together. Sex being great and loving, just without toys, other people or even lube. Oh no, I was bound and determined to push his boundaries a little. Lube and various vibrating things I would have to insist on.

  Surely that part would work out, the man ate me out on a hotel balcony, and did me from behind over that same balcony railing. I just needed to use my feminine ways to open him up a little. Besides, when we are old and in rocking chairs together, the sex will have passed anyway. But the kids, and the family and the normal relationship ups and downs would always be with us.

  My body aside, I knew my future lay with Roger. Maybe Caleb was right, maybe after this Jessica thing, if he doesn't come back to the bar and really does drift out of my life, I can see Roger more completely for the man he is, without Caleb always just over his shoulder.

  My body will forget Caleb again, and Roger and I can really give this a shot. He deserves my full attention. He will be going through a lot with Jimmy in his life now, and I knew I wanted to help, to be a part of that.

  I mentally tucked Caleb away into a holding pattern. I'd be glad when this Jessica stuff was over and I could put him away more permanently.

  By the time Friday night came around, I was ready to go out. I knew Caleb wouldn't be there, I could not worry about him at all until the next Saturday. I also knew Roger wouldn't be there, since he was flying his overtime route. I could hang out with the girls and blow off some steam.

  Maybe I could finally relax, the stress of this week still had my stomach on edge, and the stress of everything must have affected me more than I knew, because as I got dressed for the bar, I realized my period still hadn't started yet.

  I was always like clockwork, so I mentally recounted one more time. I was definitely late. I wasn't worried though, because I had just peed on the stick five days ago, and it was negative.

  I remembered reading the paperwork last time, as I waited
for the test to work. It had recommended waiting until after you missed your period, to be sure. It said if you test too soon you could get a false result. If it was still early, and the hormone the test measured hadn't really started surging in your body yet, it could say negative when you were in fact pregnant.

  I remembered thinking maybe that was why they put two in a box.

  Mentally I knew I was being silly, I had already peed on it once, and I hadn't ever missed a pill, but I found myself hunting for that second stick anyway. I told myself it was just so it could tell me again that I was not pregnant, so I could relax, get dressed and go get a little drunk.

  I found it, peed on it and put it down as I got dressed for the night. I turned off the bathroom lights, preparing to head out when I saw it sitting on the tank behind the toilet, out of my way as I got ready. I picked it up as an afterthought, looked at it, saw two blue windows, and tossed it into the trash, relieved.

  Wait. Two blue windows?

  I dug it out of the trash and looked again. Yep, two blue windows. I dug the box out as well, comparing them side by side.

  Well that can't be right. According to the stick, I was pregnant.

  Chapter 36

  Decisions

  I hadn't gone out that Friday, choosing to stay home and revel in the emotions a positive pregnancy test brought forth. My very first reaction wasn't an emotional one, but a physical one- I threw up.

  I figured it was too early for morning sickness, and it was night time, to boot, but the second the two blue lines registered in my head, I had my head hanging over the toilet, retching violently.

  Once my stomach was empty, I sunk down onto the floor, curling up in the fuzzy rug. My mind raced, my brain telling me it couldn't possibly be true. I was on the pill, damn it. I hadn't forgotten to take one, I took them at the same time every day, and I hadn't been on any antibiotics that could have counteracted it.

  My next thoughts were of Roger. Jeeze, that man must have super-sperm. First he finds out he has a ten year old, and now I've got to tell him Jimmy has a half-sibling.

  Or not.

  Maybe I don't have to tell him, maybe it's a false positive. 'Uh-huh,' my brain spoke up. 'Fine,' I spoke back to myself. 'Fine, but just because I'm pregnant now doesn't mean I have to stay that way.'

  I let my mind travel down that path. I could call my gynecologist Monday morning, and make an appointment to get un-pregnant. I wondered if he did that himself, or if he referred that out. It would be like it never happened, and Roger would never have to know.

  I imagined going through with it. Roger travels so much anyway, it wouldn't be weird if I laid low for a few days after. I just had to schedule it for a day I knew he'd be heading out. And then not tell a soul, not ever.

  I sighed a deep sigh, knowing in my heart I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay with Roger after that, I'd never be able to look him in the eye again. Or myself really. No, I'd heard all the arguments- a woman's body is her own, and all that, but I knew I couldn't do it.

  I noticed my arms were wrapped tight around my midsection, my body already trying to protect what my mind had been thinking of getting rid of.

  Ok, well, at least one decision has been made.

  I thought about adoption as well, laying there on that rug. I dismissed it just as quickly. No, this baby was mine, and I was going to keep it.

  The tears came hard and sudden, surprising me as I lay there. I'd always known I wanted to have a baby, just not like this. I'd wanted to do it right, to marry first, to have a year or two as husband and wife, and then to make the choice together. I wanted to go off the pill on purpose and to have a lot of fun trying to make a baby.

  I wanted to banter about names and buy cute little blankets and tiny little shoes. With my husband. Instead I was single, knocked up by a guy I had only known a few months, a guy who would not be happy about this, and had just said so the other day. I cried hot tears, soaking the rug beneath me.

  I grieved for the loss of the life I thought I would have, the life in which I did things right, in the correct order. I grieved for the poor child, just beginning to form inside me- a baby who deserved to be born into a loving and stable marriage.

  And still could be, I thought.

  Roger was a good guy, with a strong family. He was trying to step up for Jimmy, hell his whole family was. This could still work. Just because the baby came before the wedding doesn't mean this can't all work out. A lot of marriages happen because of a baby.

  Roger's family had been all set to slide their grandmother's ring onto my finger. Who knows, maybe there was an old crib they were dying to fill with Roger's child stored up in an attic somewhere.

  Roger had said he wanted a family, too. He'd probably be as shocked as I am, but there was plenty of time. He was a good man, with a good job and a great family. A girl could do worse. A lot worse.

  I imagined myself ten years from now, this kid having a younger brother and a sister, all underfoot, as Roger and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary, at his sister's lake house. With my drama long past and one of his sister's kids coming to me, her favorite aunt, looking for advice on how to break something to the family.

  I picked myself up off of the bathroom floor and pulled myself together. Obviously I wouldn't be going to the club tonight, even to tell Kate she had been right.

  I had a few days before Roger would be back in town. I'd need them, too, to be able to plan a nice dinner. I'd cook and I'd tell him here. Hopefully everything would be ok.

  * * * *

  I didn't end up cooking for Roger after all. He called when he got back in town, sounding really tired. It was late and he was on his way home and to bed, but he said he missed me like crazy and asked if he could come by for me in the morning.

  He said he was going to pick up his boat from the repair guy really early, and could he swing by and get me before lunch? He asked if I'd like to spend the day on the boat. He'd bring everything, I just needed to dress for swimming and enjoy myself. He said he could also get steaks to grill for dinner and we could sleep in the cuddy cabin on the water, if I was willing.

  Oh hell yeah, I was definitely willing.

  I figured I'd get all of this kind of fun in I could, before morning sickness kicked my ass. I obviously hadn't gone through it yet, but I'd heard horror stories. Plus, telling him on the boat meant he couldn't run away, not this time. At worst he'd have to take me to shore, trailer the boat and take me home, which would give me more time to plead my case instead of him running out the door, like the last time I had something to tell him.

  Unless of course, he pushed me overboard and took off, leaving me literally in his wake.

  I took my time deciding between bathing suits. I hadn't spent a lot of time on boats, but I knew if we were going to try any kind of water sports like tubing or skiing, I'd need a one-piece. If we were going to putz around instead, lounging, swimming and cooking, my skimpiest bikini would work.

  I kind of wanted to show my body off while I still could, but I didn't want to look like a fool, losing either my top or bottom. Or both. At least not on accident.

  I decided on a middle ground, a one piece with cut-outs. I had a monokini with cut outs on the sides, so from the front it looked like a tank with cut out sides, but from the back it looked like a two-piece. That way I could still show off a bit, but not lose any pieces if he wanted to ski, which I had never tried before. Hopefully, if I ended up biting it big time, I'd at least look cute trying.

  When Roger picked me up, he kissed me long and hard. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, whispering how much he had missed me into my ear, between kisses.

  I kissed him back, pouring all of my wants and needs for the future into it. Over the past few days, I had mentally not only come to terms with my pregnancy, I had started to get excited about it. I tried to kick myself for being so stupid, but since I hadn't missed a single pill, I couldn't really figure out what part was stupid. It happens. The pill even sa
ys it isn't 100% effective. I'd looked it up, six to twelve pregnancies per 100 women in a year. Figures I'd be in the six to twelve percent on pregnancy, but in the vast majority on not winning the lottery.

  The sheer joy of knowing there was a baby growing inside of me pushed all of the negative, self-chastising thoughts away. Although, now that Roger was here, and I still had to tell him, all of the nervousness came rolling back. I pushed it all away until later. I was determined to enjoy today no matter what.

  I sat right beside him in the truck, thigh to thigh as he drove to the lake. He told a story about one of the flight attendants quitting. He said once they landed last night she got on the PA system and said she quit. She told everyone on board they could kiss her ass, she swiped a hand-full of the liquor bottles and said she'd always wanted to slide down the emergency slide, so she did. She pulled the emergency exit while they were waiting on the tarmac for a gate assignment, inflated the slide, slid down it with her hands full of liquor, and just walked away, flipping the plane the bird as she turned a corner.

  Roger said that was one reason he had gotten home so late and tired last night. I guess there was a lot of paperwork involved when the emergency slide was deployed. He laughed it off though, saying he brought a bottle of wine for tonight, hoping to relax all day in the sun, and pop the top with dinner, after the sun had gone down and we were anchored somewhere quiet and secluded.

  I didn't tell him alcohol was out of the question for a few months, I figured I'd wait and spring that on him later.

  I watched as he backed the boat into the water. He said I'd have to park the truck once he backed the boat off. He'd drive the boat to the little dock as I parked, and be waiting for me. Otherwise he'd have to tie the boat up at the dock, and then come park.

  I told him I was perfectly fine parking the truck and trailer, and joining him in the boat. I wanted to be a partner to him from the beginning, not someone he'd have to work around.

  Once I climbed into the boat and settled in, I watched as he putt-putted through the no wake zone and out into open water. Once he got out past the buoys he let it rip, throwing me back into the seat as he picked up steam.