We had gotten distracted last night, so I never learned what last night's dessert was supposed to be. Roger insisted on saving it for tonight. Strawberry shortcake. Luscious, ripe strawberries on angel food cake, topped with whipped cream. It was light and sweet, and the perfect ending to a great meal.
We did some night swimming and a lot of lounging around, visiting and enjoying each other. We stayed up really late, neither one ready to go to sleep, knowing sleep would bring tomorrow that much faster.
When morning did finally intrude, we had coffee and breakfast again, and made love in the morning light before packing up and heading home. We never did decide on a wedding date, we figured we would enjoy the trip, tell our families, and decide in a few days.
As Roger drove me home, I turned in my seat, leaning back on the locked door and placing my feet on his lap as he mindlessly rubbed my calves.
We were talking about telling our families- mine would be easy, it's just my mom. I figured she would be shocked, especially at the speed of our relationship, but she would be glad we were marrying. Although I knew I'd hear the phrase 'shotgun wedding' at least once.
Roger said telling his family would trigger a lot of phone calls. He suddenly remembered that Father's Day was coming soon, he'd already planned on joining everyone again at his sister's for the holiday.
"Come with me, and we can tell everyone then, it's the perfect day. We can get you a ring first, a cheap flashy one, because if you are anything like my sisters'- any ring we get now will have to be cut off later as you swell up. Then after the baby comes, we can size grandma's ring to your finger. That is, if you want it. You haven't even seen it yet."
I felt tears prick my eyes at his offer. "Of course I want it. I'd be honored to wear it."
We rode in silence, letting the weight of everything settle down on us now that we were back in the real world and off of the water.
After a few minutes Roger looked over at me with a sharp laugh, "Hey, at least you know it's mine. You won't have to suffer like Amy did with Jimmy, not knowing who the father is from one freak roll in the hay."
At those words I felt the bottom drop out of my entire world. I had completely forgotten about that one night at Submission. Fierce, cruel memories of me hanging bound in that sex swing as Caleb slide himself inside me came flooding into my mind.
I thought for a minute I was going to throw up. I pulled my feet off his lap, getting them under me in preparation for throwing my head out the window. Roger looked over at me again, questioning my movements. "Hey, are you OK? You look ill. Are you getting morning sickness already? Do I need to roll down your window?"
I tried to grab onto that thought, thinking I'd say yes. Yes, it's morning sickness, not the realization that this baby could belong to someone else. But I took too long, the panic in my eyes shone clear as a beacon at my sudden memories.
I quickly tried to run the dates in my head. Roger, the night we broke up, but then that one time with Caleb, probably about ten days later, and then Roger in Mexico a week after that. Which time was it? How pregnant was I?
The look on my face, the sheer panic, must have guided Roger away from thinking it was normal pregnant nausea.
"It is mine, right?"
"You broke up with me." The words came out in a rush. I wanted him to know I hadn't cheated on him. Not really. The words sounded feeble to my own ears, and I wanted to suck them back, to try again.
"I broke up with you? Is that what you said? So you did sleep with someone else?"
I didn't say anything, I tried to think. Trying to figure out a way to fix this, to save everything I could feel slipping away in one quick moment.
"Who?" Roger asked, looking between me and the road as we got closer to my house.
"It was just once, surely it couldn't be his..." I was rambling now.
"Who did you sleep with?"
I saw it hit him.
"Caleb? You fucked Caleb before we got back together? When? Wow, you didn't waste much time crawling back into his bed, did you?"
"It wasn't like that. You dumped me. And then told me you had a child. And I didn't crawl back to his bed, we were looking for Jessica at that club. It just happened. I was single, I didn't cheat on you. I didn't even know we'd get back together. It got out of hand, we got carried away there. I haven't even seen him since, except for that one night he stormed off at the club."
"So this might not be my baby at all? You might be carrying Caleb's baby? From a hot night at a sex club?"
"I...I don't know. I'm not sure."
"So it's possible you were pregnant when I took you to meet my parents? When I took you to Mexico?"
"Unless we made the baby in Mexico."
"But you don't know? You don't know who the father of your child is? Is that what you are saying?"
"Hey, don't judge me. You're the reason Amy didn't know who the father of hers was. You can't act all high and mighty here."
"I didn't cheat on anyone with Amy."
"I didn't cheat on you, either. You dumped me."
"Cause you were going to sex clubs with Caleb!"
"This is so fucked up."
"I'm not marrying you to raise Caleb's baby."
We were almost to my house. Roger's voice was firm and controlled. The guy I'd played with the past few days was gone, his jaw was set and I could see veins popping out as he clenched his teeth.
"Meaning what? The wedding is off until I know for sure? I'm not doing a prenatal DNA test, sticking a needle into my baby while it's still inside me. Maybe the doctor will know, by dates or something?"
Roger shook his head. He opened his mouth, but closed it again without saying anything.
"Wait, if it is yours, will you still marry me? Or am I tainted now? Am I no longer marriage material? Even if it is your baby?"
He didn't answer. He just pulled up to my place, blocking damn near everything with his truck and trailer.
"Roger, talk to me."
"Maybe you should talk to Caleb." His voice said he was done with this conversation. I knew he had to be hurting, and confused, but he just sounded pissed as all hell.
"So you don't mind if Caleb raises your baby?"
I was being bitchy on purpose saying that. I knew Caleb would never raise a child, his own or anyone else's. Caleb had made it perfectly clear he did not want kids.
Oh fuck, what if it was Caleb's? That makes more sense if only in the 'if anything could go wrong, it will' sense.
I knew my luck. I'd had the fairy tale, or at least a version of it, in my hands for two full days. Of course this child will end up being Caleb's, I thought, ruefully. He's the only person in this thing who doesn't want one.
I didn't get out of the truck, even though it was obvious Roger wished I would.
"Roger, say something."
"You want me to say something? We hit a rough patch and you fuck Caleb. We get back together and Caleb storms out of the bar. You tell me you're pregnant, thinking I will toss you out of the damn boat, but instead I propose. You're pregnant, with no idea which one of us is the father, and now you want me to say something? I say this- the wedding is off. I'm not raising Caleb's brat. How is that for saying something? You won't do a prenatal DNA test. I don't know if it's my kid. I guess we wait then. Once it is born, if it turns out to be mine, let me know. In the meantime, since we don't know, and we find ourselves in the middle of another rough patch, make sure you don't forget to run off and fuck Caleb again. Maybe you can rope his ass into marrying you."
His words struck like an arrow to my heart. Twice now in a fight he had basically called me a slut. I felt tears threaten to overcome me, and I'd be damned if I let him see me cry. I nodded my head, more to myself than Roger. Fine, fuck you then.
I climbed out of the truck and slammed the door. Roger drove away before I could step up onto the curb. I let myself into the house, the not-so-proud owner of what was probably the shortest engagement in the history of shotgun weddings.
&nb
sp; I did what any girl would do in my situation- I threw myself down into the middle of my bed, and wept.
Chapter 39
Kate
Friday night I dragged myself to my bar. I knew I couldn't drink, I knew neither Caleb nor Roger would be there, but I needed a reason to get dressed and get out of the house.
I waved Lana off as I walked in, no point in her making me anything.
I found Kate and her radar went off immediately.
"What? What happened? You look like hell."
"Thanks."
"Anytime, now what the hell happened?"
"You were right, damn it. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with no idea if Roger or Caleb is the dad. Roger was over the fucking moon about it, until he realized it could be Caleb's, so he dumped me. Again. Plus, we all know how Caleb feels about me right now, and about having kids in general, so there's that. Basically my life sucks."
"Does Caleb know?"
"No, I haven't seen him since he stormed out of here all pissed off at me. I do get to see him tomorrow though, at Submission, where we get to pretend to be all fucking S&M happy and save missing Jessica like fucking superheroes-" I started singing "Here I come to save the day..."
Kate opened her mouth to say something, but I wasn't done.
I said, "Roger proposed. We were spending the night out on his boat when I told him I was pregnant. I had put Caleb out of my mind by then. He was only that one time, so I assumed it was Roger's. He was thrilled. I was shocked at how happy he was. He proposed right then. We had a great time, right up until he was dropping me off and he said something offhand about 'aren't you glad there hasn't been anyone else, and you aren't in the same situation my one-night-stand was, not knowing who the dad is?' and then I remembered that night with Caleb before we got back together."
"Oh shit, honey."
"Yeah, he saw me realize it could be Caleb's, cancelled the wedding, and left me on my curb. So now I'm knocked up, I don't know whose it is, and have no man in my life right now at all."
Kate asked, "Is there any way to narrow down the date you conceived?"
"I'm not sure, I have a doctor's appointment next week. I can find out how all that works, maybe see how far along I am."
"They may be able to tell with a sonogram, depending on the size and development of the baby, but hell, I can tell you technically how far along you are."
"You can? How?"
"Because they do it from your last period. When was your last period?"
"I don't remember exactly. I know I'm pretty regular, and when I was late I counted backward."
I gave her my best guess- a three or four day range.
"So that makes you officially..." She did some quick fingering and then gave up, pulling out her phone's calendar. "Five to five and a half weeks pregnant. If you started your period on that first date you're closer to five and a half weeks, if you started on that last date then today is your five week mark."
"What? How is that possible? I obviously didn't get pregnant the day I started my period."
"I know. It's weird, but for counting weeks, they actually count you as pregnant the day of your last period, meaning about two weeks before you actually conceive."
"That's crazy. Ok, so if I ovulated about fourteen days after my last period, then ovulation would have been say somewhere around the 20, 21, 22 or 23-ish of last month. I actually tried to figure out when I was with both guys, so I have those dates. Caleb and I went to Submission on the 17, and then Roger and I first did it in Mexico on the 26."
Kate said, still looking at her phone, "So if you ovulated earlier, more around the 20th, give or take a few days, then it's Caleb's. Sperm can actually hang out a few days. If you ovulated later, like around the 23rd or after, then it's Roger's. Shit, that didn't help you at all, did it?"
"No, I still don't know. But crap, I figured Roger had more of a shot, since Caleb was just the once. Now it seems fifty-fifty. Shit, Kate. I'm a big ole slut."
"You are not. You are the least slutty person I know. Your timing sucks, that's all."
"Damn it. I was careful, I was on the pill. If I hadn't let Caleb...Either I wouldn't be pregnant right now, or I'd know for damn sure it was Roger's. I'd still be engaged, and happy. My life would still be on track."
"Woulda, shoulda, coulda, sweetheart. The question is, what are you going to do now?"
"I thought about abortion, honestly. For about two seconds, but I can't." My hands went to my midsection again, covering the baby automatically, even at the thought. "I also thought about adoption, but, no. It's not this baby's fault her mother is an idiot."
"You could always DNA test. You recommended it to Roger for Jimmy."
"Yeah, I may have to. Later though. Hell they could cheek swab Jimmy, that's easy. I'm not going through that in utero. They do all kinds of tests once it's born, what's one more? I'm not sticking a needle in there unless it's a medical necessity. No, that will have to wait. What's nine months, right? Unless the doctor can pinpoint it better."
"So you know, and Roger knows, but Caleb doesn't. Are you going to tell him?"
"I doubt it. No point, really. Not until I know something. If it turns out not to be Roger's I will have to. It doesn't sound like I'll see Caleb again after tomorrow anyway."
"I can't see him as a dad."
"Yeah, I know. That was one of our big problems. No, the less he knows right now, the better. Thankfully Submission's big rule is 'play sober,' so tomorrow shouldn't be a problem. Caleb would wonder if I ever turned down liquor."
"What's that going to be like? Last time you went there with Caleb, well..."
"I know, and I have no idea."
I didn't stay much longer. I couldn't drink. I couldn't quite throw myself into dancing or flirting, and I didn't want to drag Kate or Michael down with me before they headed to That Other Club. So I went home and went to bed, not sure if I wanted tomorrow to never come, or to hurry up so I could get it over with.
Chapter 40
S&M 101
When Caleb came to pick me up I had no idea what to expect. The last time I had seen him, he was pissed at me for getting back with Roger. He'd announced that he loved me, ached for me, and said after tonight I'd never see him again. As I got ready for the night ahead, I wondered how awkward it was going to be.
Caleb had forwarded me the email from Submission, listing our enrollment in the beginner's S&M class. I had been a little surprised it went to him, and not to me, or to both of us, but when I read it, I realized why.
Caleb's name was listed under 'Dominant trainee,' and mine was under 'Submissive trainee.' I guessed that as the Dom, Caleb would now receive all communication. Thankfully it listed our instructor as Mistress Jessica. Finally we would be able to see her. There was also a place indicating whether the class was 'small group' or 'private lessons.' We were marked as 'private lessons.' I wondered if Caleb had to pay extra for that.
The email said the classes were every Saturday night for eight weeks, but I assumed after tonight we wouldn't be going back.
It also said to dress in black, sexy clothing. It said dressing the part was big, as it got you into the right mindset, like an athlete stepping into a uniform, or a doctor pulling on a lab coat. S&M, it seemed, was as much a mental exercise as a physical one.
That made sense to me, I couldn't imagine someone tied up and blindfolded in a sweat suit would have quite the same experience as someone tied up and blindfolded in leather and latex. For tonight I chose the safe, comfortable route- black mini, black corset and knee high boots with fish nets. Not very imaginative, I know, but basic.
I opened the door when Caleb knocked, to see him dressed much the same as he had been last time. The same leather pants, but this time a black, long sleeved, silky, button down shirt. The shirt was unbuttoned most of the way, and tucked in. This time he'd added a black skull-cap that ties in the back, like bikers wore. With the tied tails hanging a bit, he looked very pirate-like, and of course sexy as hell.
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"Hi." I said as I answered the door, looking him over.
"Hi. You look great, as usual."
"Thank you. So do you. I like the do-rag."
"Thanks. Are you ready to go?"
So that's how tonight was going to be. Polite. I nodded, locked the door, and we headed to his truck.
I thought this was going to be an interesting night, if we acted like we barely knew each other. Thankfully seeing Jessica this time was finally a sure thing. Hopefully we didn't have to pass any more tests.
The drive was quiet, I spent most of it looking out my side window, wondering what was in store for us tonight.
Caleb finally spoke, "So, how have you been?"
I swiveled my head, looking over at him. His jaw was tight, and he stared out the front window. I thought about all the different ways I could answer that question, and went with, "I'm fine. How about you?"
"Good, good."
I nodded, thought about and then dismissed a few replies that might further the conversation, but instead went back to staring out my window. I knew I didn't do well small-talking with Caleb. If he had looked at me just right, I'd have spilled my guts and been a blubbering mess when we got to Submission.
The ride up the glass elevator was beautiful, and eerily silent. Soon we found ourselves facing the ornate onyx door. I couldn't help myself, as it swung open I reached out, grabbing Caleb's hand and holding it tight. I heard his swift intake of breath, but he didn't pull away. He gripped my hand tight as well, and we walked inside, heads held high.
Ms. Jolie smiled at us, and said, "No slave for you two tonight. Trainees go straight to the training room every Saturday night. After class is dismissed though, you are free to wander the common areas and decompress. It is recommended actually, so you can see some of the things you were taught in class used out on the floor. A homework assignment, so to speak. Are you ready to begin? I'm almost jealous, you know. Starting at the beginning, knowing all the things you will learn. I sometimes wish I could begin again, experience everything fresh all over. Mmmm, good times. Follow me."
Two Player Games: (Corrupted 5-8) Page 22
