by Dee, Bonnie
They lay curled together for a long time despite the heat in the stuffy room. Occasionally they would speak, but mostly they lay in silent contentment.
All too soon Joe had to leave. She walked him downstairs and bid him goodbye at the door.
He held her and gave her one last kiss. “When can I see you again? We should make a plan now.”
Rachael wished she could use a visit with Ruth as an excuse to get away, but she couldn’t ask Ruth to cover for her, not when it wasn’t Amos who Rachael was sneaking off to see. Inevitably, her mother would find out she’d not been at the Zooks.
“Our whole family will be helping with the hay baling this week. I’ll see you in the fields,” she said at last.
Joe frowned. “With both our families all around. That will make it kind of hard.”
“Haystacks are perfect for playing hide and seek.” She stood on her toes and kissed him goodbye. “I’ll find you.”
Chapter Eight
Their next tryst was the easiest to arrange yet the most nerve-wracking. The risk of being caught added an exciting element to their fevered kissing in the shadow of a tall hay bale.
The long grass in the fields straddling the property line was ready for harvesting. The Langdons would run their baler in the Yoder’s field in exchange for a portion of hay. Both families worked together. Even Rachael did her share of raking, while Mattie carried water around to the workers. With rain forecast later in the week, they must hurry to gather the dry grass.
Rachael watched Joe work a half a field away. The sight of his shirtless, sweat-slicked body gleaming under the hot sun stole her breath away. The muscles in his back and shoulders rippled under bronze skin as he raked and tossed hay. He caught sight of her and smiled quickly before bending to his work again.
Halfway through the morning, Mattie brought a jug of freshly made lemonade on all the way from the house on her little wagon. As Rachael poured glasses for the members of both families, she imagined what the Langdons would think of her if they knew what she and their son had been up to.
Joe took the glass of lemonade from her and drank deeply, Adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. Condensation dripped off the glass and rolled down his chest, and Rachael felt an answering wetness between her legs. When Joe handed her the empty glass, he shifted his eyes sideways at the scattered hay waiting to be baled.
She nodded one and turned away to serve the others. Everyone stopped to drink the lemonade and fan their faces in whatever shade they could find.
Rachael slipped away to the most distant haystack and a few seconds later Joe joined her. They crashed against each other, kissing and groping furiously, before tumbling into the loose hay. The cut grass was soft yet prickly under Rachael’s back. Joe was hard and heavy between her legs, weighing her down. Baking in the sun, the hay smelled like yeasty bread fresh from the oven. Forever after she knew the scent would take her back to this moment and the thrill of Joe’s arms around her and his passionate kisses.
At last he pulled back to whisper, “After we finish the haying, my parents are going to visit my aunt’s family in Michigan. I’ll be on my own looking after the farm for a few days. You have to find a way to come over.”
He returned to kissing her neck. She slid her hands up his sweat-slicked back and tasted salt on her tongue. “I’ll find a way,” she promised, lifting her hips to rub herself against his hard ridge.
He lifted up on his arms, still thrusting, and his eyes shone as he stared at her. “I want you so much. I wish we could ... right here and now.”
Rachael sucked a breath. He didn’t have to say the word for her to picture the act. She’d felt his length in her hand and could hardly imagine what it would be like inside of her.
“Soon.” She pushed him off of her and scrambled up. “Now brush this hay off my back before someone notices we’re both missing.”
*
Over the rest of that week, they stole whatever moments they could. If they were too daring and careless, Rachael couldn’t bring herself to care. All she knew was that she needed and craved Joe. She tumbled into bed each night, exhausted from hard physical labor, but eager to start all over again in the morning simply for those few precious bits of time.
Sometimes they made a plan and Rachael would run to meet him on the road after dinner so he could take her for a drive. He let her try to operate the truck on a deserted back country road, resulting in a lot of gear grinding and laughter.
One evening he drove her to the lake and they swam; he in his bathing trunks, she in her underwear. He tossed her, laughing and shrieking, into the deep water then quickly rescued her when he realized she couldn’t swim. He held her close as they bobbed in the water, bodies weightless, spirits floating in bliss. As he kissed her wet lips, Rachael’s heart swelled so much her chest ached. She would have gone all the way in the bed of his truck that evening, but Joe drove her home and let her out partway down the road as usual. Their weekend together was coming soon. With his parents gone, they would have the luxury of making their first time special.
“Why do you act so strange lately? You hardly listen to anything anybody says, and you keep going on long walks.” Mattie asked Rachael one evening as they sat on the porch.
Rachael was on the top step, eyes riveted on the book in her lap but her mind a million miles—or actually ten acres—away. Mattie sat a step down playing with a pair of kittens she’d brought from their nest in the hayloft.
“I asked you what you think of the name Midnight.” She held up the coal-black kitten. “Because he’s...”
“Black. Very original. Why not confound people and call him Snowball?” Rachael teased.
“Funny. I like it.” Mattie laughed.
Rachael closed the book and picked up the gray and white kitten. “What about this one? Hezekiah?” She danced him on his hind legs and Mattie giggled some more.
The kitten had a tiny gray beard that did indeed make him look like Elder Hezekiah Johannsen.
“No. That’s Ripple. I already told you that,” Mattie said. “See here? He’s got ripples in his stripes.”
Rachael talked and played with her little sister for the next hour, suddenly glad to be in a familiar role where she knew who she was and what to do. As much as she eagerly looked forward to her time with Joe the following weekend, she was also nervous. The immorality of what they were about to do—for she had little doubt they would go all the way—well, she could hardly bear to think of that. The idea of losingher virginity outside of marriage was terrifying. On top of that, the act itself frightened her. Would it hurt? Would she please him? What if a baby came of it? She must find a way to protect against that.
The last day of haying Joe pulled Rachael behind the hay wagon to whisper. “They’re leaving tomorrow morning and will be gone at least four days. Come over any time you can after supper.”
She nodded and glanced over to see if anyone was watching.
As she passed Daniel on the way back to the rest of the group, her brother gave her a curious frown that set her heart thumping. Had he seen her talking to Joe? Did he have a suspicion? And if he did, would he say anything?
She’d kept secrets for Daniel, but she didn’t know if he would keep this big of a secret for her if he figured it out. Some transgressions were beyond the bonds of sibling protection. He wouldn’t cover for her if he knew she was involved with an outsider.
But Daniel said nothing then or later in the day. For now, Rachael’s hidden love was undetected.
Chapter Nine
The electric fan in Joe’s bedroom window whirred, a soothing humming sound, but the room was still sweltering. It wasn’t a whole lot better than her and Mattie’s room under the eaves at home. All the fan did was move the heat around.
She was uncomfortable removing her clothes in front of Joe. Rachael tried to turn away as she unfastened the hooks and eyes on the front of her dress, but he turned her back to face him. His eyes gleamed as he watched her hands move down
the bodice, revealing her shift beneath.
She took off the dress, removed her shoes and stood before him clad only in her slip and underwear. She wrapped her arms around her body, feeling gooseflesh on her arms even though the room was probably close to eighty degrees.
It was Joe’s turn. With a devilish smile, he drew his T-shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor.
She’d seen him shirtless often this week in the field. Now she could study him from only a few feet away; his muscled arms and chest, his flat stomach, and the trail of hair that led from his navel to the top button on his jeans. She knew what lay under that denim. She’d felt its length and girth with her own hands.
He began to unfasten the button. “What did you tell you mother?”
She smoothed the front of her slip nervously. “I didn’t talk to her. I told Mattie I was taking a walk and would be back whenever I got back.”
He unzipped his fly. “Is your mom gonna grill you?”
“I’ll tell her I needed to be alone for a while so I went walking. I won’t be lying since I did walk over here.” The more of his powerful male body he revealed, the more small and feminine and delicate she felt.
“That’s good.” He pulled his jeans down his legs and stepped out of them. “I don’t want you to have to lie.”
He stood clad only in his boxers, his body hard and sculpted from hours of farm labor and bronzed from days spent in the sun. So beautiful. She wanted him desperately.
Rachael realized he was waiting. It was her turn to remove an article of clothing, but she hesitated to reach for the hem of her slip.
Joe pulled her into his arms. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with me.”
“I’m not.” She rested her head against his chest and let him cuddle her and bring her back to her feeling of rightness about what they were going to do.
“Let’s lie down for a while.” He led her to his bed. It was for only one person but was almost as wide as her and Mattie’s bed. The sheets smelled like him. She inhaled deeply as she pressed her cheek against the pillow.
In the already stifling room, his body was a furnace. But she clung to him anyway, and he rubbed his hand up and down her back.
“Do you remember when we were young, you, Daniel and me catching pollywogs at the edge of the creek?” Joe asked. “We had our Mason jars and scooped up water and tadpoles.”
She nodded. “I don’t know what we thought we were going to do with them.”
“Daniel wanted to start a frog farm. He said we could sell the frogs for their legs.” Joe laughed. “I came home so muddy my mom tanned my hide for ruining my clothes.”
“I wasn’t supposed to be off with Daniel. Mamm wanted me to bake with her that day but I snuck away.” Rachael smiled against his beating heart. “And I remember you pulled my braid so I threw mud at you.”
Joe chuckled. “That was the last time I saw you, other than from a distance, up to the day we talked in town. Even during haying seasons, we didn’t exchange a word. How is that possible? You were living right next door to me and we wasted all that time?”
She had no answer for that. They lived two completely different lives. The astonishing thing was that they’d ever had a reason to talk at all.
Her head was nestled under his chin. She turned to kiss his throat and the top of his collarbone, then his lips. The increasingly familiar sliding of mouth over mouth, tongue over tongue was as thrilling as it had been that first night at the drive-in.
Joe pulled back and brushed her hair away from her face as he looked into her eyes. “You know I’m in love with you, right?”
Rachael swallowed. Should she say, “I love you, too”? She felt as if she did, but didn’t know what it meant for them. Even if they were in love, how could they ever have a future together? It was too big a thing to consider, so she didn’t answer at all, simply smiled and kissed him again.
She grew bold and moved her mouth down his throat to his chest, kissing across the broad expanse. She plucked his nipples the way he had hers, boys apparently liked it too because Joe gave a quiet grunt of approval.
Rachael slid her other hand under the waistband of his underwear and wrapped it around his erection. She moved her hand slowly at first, then more vigorously as he’d shown her, and she continued to kiss his chest and lick his hard, pointed nipples.
He groaned and thrust into her hand, then abruptly grabbed her wrist to stop her. “I’m too close. I’ve been worked up for so long. Just thinking about you every day is enough to make me come. Lie down and let me take care of you first.”
She wasn’t sure what that meant, but if he was going to touch her down there like he did before, she was all for it.
Joe tugged on her slip. “I’m going to take this off now, all right?”
She sat up so he could pull it over her head then lay down and lifted her hips so he could remove her underwear too. Lying back completely naked to his view, Rachael fought the impulse to cover herself. But his gaze feasting on her was astonished and grateful and told her more clearly than words how beautiful he thought she was.
He kissed her once mouth once, then her jaw and down her throat to her breasts, sucking one nipple then the other. She gasped at the rough scrape of his teeth when he nibbled lightly and thrust her chest toward his mouth for more of it. But he moved farther down her body, kissing her ribs, her stomach, swirling his tongue in her navel then moving between her legs.
Rachael stiffened and her thigh muscles quivered as he gently separated her folds and regarded her most private place. “No, I...” She reached down cover herself or to stop him.
“Trust me. This will feel good.” He lowered his face between her legs.
And it did feel good. It felt wonderful when he touched his tongue to her there. How did he know what to do? How did he know how to make her moan and squirm this way and send waves of desire rushing through her? He must have had practice. A stab of jealousy shot through her as she imagined him doing this to another girl. Horrible, awful thought. Then she had no room in her mind for it as Joe licked her again and an explosion went off inside her.
“Oh!” she gasped. Her eyes closed and she rode the tide of sensation Pleasure seized and shook her like a strong wind rattling a house in a storm. Her body rose off the bed and nearly levitated through the ceiling as she cried out.
After some time, the quivers diminished and Rachael became aware of Joe, still lying between her legs and pressing kisses to the inside of her thigh. He crawled up beside her and smiled down at her. “You liked it?”
“Yes. How did you learn to do that?”
He flushed a little. “Guys talk. You learn stuff.”
“Guys talk?” She opened her eyes wide.
“Well, yeah. I’m sure Amish guys do too.”
“I don’t think so. Not about that.”
“How do you know what they talk about?” He laughed and then he sobered and rolled over to get something from the drawer of his bedside table. “I also got something from a friend of mine to make sure that, you know, nothing happens.”
She stared blankly at the small paper packet and which he drew a round disc.
“To make sure you don’t accidentally get pregnant.”
“Oh! That’s good.” She was grateful he’d tended to the thing she’d worried about but didn’t know how to prevent, other than asking him to withdraw at the final moment. The realization of what they were about to do struck her and sobered her.
Joe stripped off his boxers and she finally saw all of him. His penis was thick and flushed dark with veins running its length and a ridge underneath the round head. He hissed as he rolled on the rubber as if his member was too tender to bear it. Then he moved to lie over her with his manhood poised at her entrance.
He slid in a little way on the slick of moisture, and she braced for the pain Ruth had warned her to expect on her wedding night.
Joe stroked her face and pressed his hand against her chest, feeling her heart bea
t. “Calm down. I’ll be careful. I’ll go slow.”
He pressed further inside and it didn’t hurt after all. She was tight around him. Her body stretched to accommodate him, but the tearing sensation Ruth had described to her during a private talk never happened. Rachael relaxed and let her body acclimate to this new sensation. The stretching and filling and slight soreness was different than she’d expected.
Actually, she didn’t know what she’d expected. She felt so full of Joe, surrounding him and holding him in her arms, and most of all seeing the bliss in his face as he gazed back at her. His forehead was wet with sweat. His dark brown hair, which had grown even longer over the past weeks, clung to it. His eyes glazed over then closed as he thrust into her. Every slow long push was an invasion. Every time he receded, she felt the loss of him and wanted him back.
Rachael was sweating too in the close room under his heavy body. But she hardly noticed the heat or even the occasional breeze from the fan as she focused on this moment, their joining, the coming together that had been building since they met. She lifted her hips to meet his thrusts and slid her hands down to grasp his rear and pull him even deeper. With a strangled groan he pumped harder and faster then cried out as he released.
Her channel was so tight she felt the pulses inside her. Joe collapsed onto her, breathing raggedly, his heart pounding. She could hardly breathe but didn’t want to let go of him.
At last, she pushed against him and whispered, “You’re kind of heavy.”
He laughed and rolled over to lie beside her. “Sorry.” He exhaled a gusty sigh. “That was unbelievable.”
Rachael smiled and gazed at the ceiling of Joe’s room. There was a water stain shaped like a man’s face with a bulbous nose and jutting chin. She wondered if Joe looked at that every night as he fell asleep like she looked at her African continent. Seeing the space where he lived increased her feeling of connection with him, but then sorrow chased away that warm feeling. To know him well would only give her greater pain when they inevitably parted. In the future she would picture him in this room and know she would never share his bed again.
