by Laura Ward
As we continued to walk in the same general direction, the girls’ conversation turned to their plans to visit The Shell later tonight and my mind drifted to Julie, although that wasn’t too strange. My thoughts were occupied with her a lot lately.
Julie wasn’t exactly the kind of girl people expected me to be attracted to. Nate was especially against the idea. When I told him who I was meeting for my date on Sunday, his response was, “Juleasy? Are you serious, bro?”
Serious enough that I almost knocked in his front teeth when he continued to list all the gossip he’d heard about her. His attempt to convince me that Julie’s reputation proved she was a bad fit for me was so hypocritical that I had to laugh. Nate banged anything that had two X chromosomes and was breathing.
The thing was, I knew better than anyone what was on the outside had very little to do with what was on the inside. So what if Julie had a reputation for dating around and being loud and insensitive? I had a reputation for being a hermit, but that was only because I lived in the frat house. I had no desire to get caught up in the party lifestyle. Not after my dad struggled for so long. Not since I’d met Caz. I only lived in the house out of convenience. The room I rented allowed me to be close to my brother while also giving me the freedom to come and go to my classes and job without the need for help from others. Sure, I drank every once in a while, I just didn’t get caught up in the wild parties.
No, Julie’s reputation didn’t bother me because I knew how much most guys embellished the truth. Besides, I didn’t see her as the insensitive bitch some guys did. She was brutally honest and funny. That’s all. And for someone like me who depended on honesty, she was refreshing.
Not to mention, listening to her voice was like an audible blowjob and she smelled like a fucking piña colada and that made me want to devour her. And her skin. Jesus. When I touched her the other night to teach her how to play the bass, it was all I could do not to peel her clothes off and bare all that perfectly smooth skin so I could discover every inch of it like I was Christopher fucking Columbus.
I was looking forward to mapping out every curve of her body with my hands and burning it into my memory. That was something I definitely wanted to take my time doing. But I didn’t want to rush things. The more she offered herself up to me on a platter, the harder it was to convince myself not to give in.
I reached the steps of the Pike house and grabbed the railing as I made my way up. When I opened the front door, I heard shuffling to my left as someone stood, and I turned to face him.
“Hey, Leo,” I said. “How long were you waiting?”
“How do you fucking do that man? Sometimes I think this whole blind thing is a joke. You walk all over campus by yourself and you always know I’m around even when I don’t say anything.”
I chuckled. “If you don’t want me to know it’s you, maybe you should ease up on the cologne. That shit could double as chloroform. I smelled you halfway down the block.”
“Like fuck you did.” He pushed my shoulder. “Gina likes my cologne,” he argued.
“That proves my point.” I led the way up the stairs, appreciating that the house was quiet. Most of the brothers were still in class. “Gina will tell you anything you want to hear as long as you’re willing to put some part of your body in hers.”
“That’s what I like about her.”
My foot hit the top step and my cane flicked along the hardwood, leading me to my room. “It doesn’t bother you that she slept with Nate and Marty already?” Marty was the other member of Honor Bound. “You don’t care that she’s a groupie collecting conquests?”
“It doesn’t bother you that Julie has slept her way through all of frat row already?” he retaliated.
I resisted the urge to throw him over the fucking railing. “That’s a rumor,” I pointed out. “The difference is you know what Gina’s done. You walked in on her riding my brother like he was the favorite at the Kentucky Derby. And then you saw her giving it up to Marty...” I turned in his direction, “...an hour later.”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, well—”
“If you’re not careful, you’re going to end up with something that rots your dick off, dude.”
I didn’t like the rumors I’d heard about Julie or that Leo was comparing her to Gina. They weren’t the same. There was a difference between Gina, who was trying to sleep her way through every member of the band on the same night, and Julie who was just dating around. I understood that just fine, why couldn’t everyone else?
Leo was quiet as we entered my room and I chose to change the subject before he could bring up Julie again.
“How long do you have to work with me today?” We were planning to write a new song. Usually, Leo worked on the lyrics while I worked out the music, but this time I was inspired to put words to paper.
“Two hours. You?” he asked.
I walked to my desk and found the sheets I’d printed out earlier. “I’ve got all day since we’re not playing tonight.” I handed him the stack and waited while he read over the lyrics I’d painstakingly typed.
“Sound of Your Heart? “He cleared his throat. “You wrote lyrics? And you call this shit the Sound of Your Heart?”
“Yeah. What do you think?” I leaned against my desk and folded my arms over my chest.
He was quiet for a few moments. “I think it sounds like a love story.” He said it almost with disgust and I could hear him shuffling through the sheets.
A love story. I thought about that and all the feelings I’d had since the strange, brash girl who was named after a villain stormed into my life. What I’d told her at Lakefront was true. She made me feel—feel like writing, taking risks, giving in to everything she asked. No matter what Nate and Leo said, I was sure that Julie was more than her reputation.
“Not yet,” I told him. “But maybe it could be.”
Chapter Eight
Julie
“What do you mean you can’t come?” My words echoed in Darren’s family’s foyer and I winced at the sound of my voice, wondering if someone would come to see if I was murdering him. Which given the situation, was a possibility. I truly wanted to.
“Can you repeat that question? I couldn’t understand it due to the unbearable pterodactyl-like screeching you call talking.” Darren gave me a smug look.
I took a deep breath and calmed myself down before repeating the question. “Everyone is bringing their buddy. You promised you’d be there. Why aren’t you coming?”
He shrugged. “I have a date.”
“Yeah. With me.” I jammed my thumb against my chest, attempting to control myself. But I was disappointed. He was backing out on me and I’d have to go stag. “William and Stacy were looking forward to seeing you. Everyone was.”
I wondered if Darren was giving me a taste of my own medicine. I was the one who ditched guys, not the other way around. But then again, I’d never hung out with a guy as a friend before. And I’d gotten used to Darren always being there for me. Funny how I started the buddy program to help him, but I was turning out to be the dependent one in our relationship.
“I’m not surprised. I am the life of the party.” He winked at me. “But I have a date with a beautiful girl, and I have to leave soon if I’m going to get there on time.”
I pouted. “Why don’t you bring your date with us?”
“To the bowling alley?” He grimaced. “I plan on kissing this girl, not taking her someplace where she could get typhoid fever. If I’m going to be sticking my fingers in anything tonight, it definitely won’t be dirty bowling ball holes.”
It was my turn to grimace. “That’s a fucking nasty thing to say, Darren. That even grossed me out, which is pretty hard to do.”
He grinned. “Why don’t you invite Ben to go with you?” he asked. “I’m sure he could use a good buddy tonight.”
My hands found their way to my hips and I cocked them in attitude. “Because I’ve spent the last week watching him play at The Shell. Tonight
is my night with you and I was looking forward to hanging out together.”
“I don’t blame you.” Darren smoothed down the front of his shirt. “I am pretty amazing.”
My lips twisted in annoyance causing him to chuckle. “Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back,” I muttered.
“Can’t make any promises.” He lifted his bent hand. “Asshole arm, remember?” When I didn’t laugh at his joke he let his hand fall into his lap and said, “So you’ve seen bass boy every night since your big date at the hipster coffee shop. Any progress?” The last word intonated like he was asking a question.
I lifted my eyebrows, urging him to finish his thought.
“On getting in his pants?” Darren couldn’t hold back his laughter.
And finally, neither could I. It was impossible to stay mad at Darren. He was too damn funny for his own good.
“Cad,” I accused. But he was right. No matter how hard I tried, Ben was a perfect gentleman. Even though I didn’t want him to be. And I’d begged him on more than one occasion not to be so decent. I was dying to see him indecent. Unrestrained. A little hungry for me. No. A lot hungry for me.
No such luck.
Every night since our date, I’d gone to see him perform. After the show, we’d sit and talk for hours at the bar. Then he’d walk me home, kiss me on the steps of my sorority house, and head to the Pike house. Alone.
I was always nervous for him, watching him for as long as I could to make sure he made it home safely. The first night I even followed him at a distance. His steps never faltered, he never got lost, and he never seemed uncertain of himself. His confidence, despite his vulnerability, made me feel even more protective of him. Not less.
“I don’t kiss and tell,” I finally said. Which was a lie. I’d never had a problem telling my friends about the gritty details of dates I’d been on in the past, but Ben was different. I didn’t want to share him with anyone else. Like talking about the connection between us might cause me to find out it wasn’t real at all. And that might break my heart.
“Fine.” Darren shrugged. “I need to leave, so you need to get your fine ass out of here.” He reached for the control on the arm of his wheelchair and moved toward the door. I had no choice but to follow him.
Before I left, I bent down and gave him a hug, making sure to get in real tight and rub my neck and chest against his.
"Is this the friends with benefits thing finally kicking in?" he asked, struggling to get the words out through my strangle hug.
"Nope." I gave him a kiss on the cheek, leaving a lipstick mark, before pulling back. "This is me marking my territory. If you're gonna ditch me for a date, you better bring your A game with your lady friend because I ensured you smell like another woman." I winked at him.
Darren frowned and pulled his collar away from his neck to sniff it. "Ugh," he groaned. "I smell like Juleasy now!"
I laughed. Somehow, he made my awful nickname sound like a term of endearment. I rubbed my hands together. "My evil plan to ruin your date is working."
"You're totally cockblocking me," he accused.
I poked him in the chest. "That's what you get for ditching me for another woman." I turned to walk away, and he swatted me on the ass.
"Enjoy your ball fondling tonight," he called after me.
"You too." I gave him a wicked grin. "Once your date catches a whiff of my scent, you'll be fondling your own balls!"
He tried to swat me again, and I ran out of the house giggling. I was pretty sure I heard him yell, "Hey, tart! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do," after me, but I was already sprinting to my car.
***
“Hey, Stacy!” I hugged Alexis’s buddy, noticing that her outfit consisted of about five different clashing patterns in every available shade of neon. Stacy always dressed in bright colors, and it worked for her. “You, me, and Lex against William, Taren, and Alec, right? We’re going to kick some butt.”
Stacy gave me a shy smile. “I’m going to play with William.”
I pressed my hands together and pouted. “But you’re our ringer! Without Darren here, Lex and I don’t have a chance in hell of winning.”
Stacy’s expression faltered for a moment, and I felt bad for teasing and laying the guilt trip on her. I was about to tell her I was joking when someone else interrupted.
“Ladies! We’ve come to your rescue!”
I turned to see Caz standing behind me, his arms held wide as if offering himself to be worshipped. His grin was huge, and his hair was a spiky blond mess, but my eyes didn’t stay on him long because Ben was behind him.
My bass boy.
“Ben.” It was only one word, one tiny syllable, but it was filled with emotion, as if my heart couldn’t hold it all anymore. I hadn’t expected to see him tonight and now that he was here, I realized how badly I’d needed that to happen.
Ben’s face was turned in my direction as if he could see me, and the smile he wore told me he liked what he saw. That was a ridiculous thought since he couldn’t see me at all, but I liked that his gorgeous grin was meant for me.
“Hey, Jules,” he said, his voice as deep and soulful as his bass. “You sound beautiful tonight.”
Blood rushed through my body, my heart fluttering wildly.
Settle down hormones, they’re only words.
It was hard not to swoon, though. Ben took all the smooth, cliché compliments and flipped them upside down, turning them into something only he could say. Something that twisted my heart into a tight little vault that held his words close like they were treasures.
“Hey, bass boy,” I said, stepping close to him and laying my hand on his arm. “You’re not playing at The Shell tonight?”
He was wearing a pair of jeans low on his trim hips and the black t-shirt he had on contrasted against the colorful ink that covered his biceps and forearms. He was like a bright piece of candy that I wanted to pop in my mouth and suck...
His hand moved to my hip to rest there as he leaned closer to me, his voice dropping as if his answer was only for me. “I heard you weren’t going to be there.”
I was quiet for a few seconds, not believing him in the least, but liking the idea much more than I should that he wouldn’t want to be somewhere that I wasn’t.
“Marty and Leo are out of town for the weekend so we have a few nights off,” Ben explained. His fingers danced lightly across the curve of my waist in a way that felt natural, like they belonged there.
Caz stepped next to me and slung his arm over my shoulder. “When Alec heard your buddy Darren couldn’t make it, he called us.” He curled his arm to pull me tight against him. “Lucky for you, I’m amazing at everything.”
“Work your flirt someplace else,” Ben said, reaching up to fling Caz’s arm off me.
“Can’t sneak anything past you.” Caz shook his head and turned away to find Alexis working diligently to add all of our names to the scoreboard.
“I know you too well is the problem,” Ben countered loudly toward Caz’s back.
I heard Caz ask Alexis how classes were going, and her expression brightened talking about the coursework that demanded most of her time. Homework was the one thing she and Caz had in common since they were both planning to go to medical school.
Ben snagged my attention again as he pulled me close. He leaned down, resting his chin on the top of my head. I was so small, I barely made it to his shoulders. “Is it okay we crashed your party? I know you were looking forward to hanging out with your friends.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist, tilted my head up, and dropped a chaste kiss on his chin. It took a few seconds before I’d realized what I’d done. I’d acted like a girlfriend. A sweet, lovey-dovey, head-over-heels, girlfriend. I’d acted like Taren or Alexis. Not that it was a bad thing, but it was so foreign, a flash of uncertainty rushed through me.
My feelings for Ben had gotten intense, much more intense than I was used to. Caring so strongly made me vulnerable and fragile. And
that wasn’t a role I was familiar with. Exposing my body to someone was one thing. Exposing my heart? That could be dangerous. Especially since Ben had the ability to work his way into the deepest, ugliest parts of my heart.
He must have noticed the way I’d gone stiff in his arms because he said, “If you only want to hang with your friends, I understand. I’ll drag Caz out of here in a heartbeat.”
I swallowed down the ridiculous uncertainty and grabbed his hand to lead him over to the chairs. “Don’t you dare. Someone has to help us out because Stacy is an ace and could kick our asses all on her own.”
“And you think a blind guy is what you need to win?”
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the chin again. “This blind guy is exactly what I need.”
“Will you be angry with me if we lose?” he joked, his fingers suddenly back on my waist again, tracing a path from my ribs and down to my hip bone, memorizing my shape.
“If we lose, you’ll have to make it up to me. You can’t just kiss me on the steps and walk off into the dark tonight. If we lose, you actually have to come up to my room.” My voice did all the flirting he’d never see in my facial expressions.
He chuckled and tucked a kiss underneath my ear before whispering, “That’s not much incentive to win, Jules.”
I bit my bottom lip. “How about this? If we win, I’ll make sure you won’t want to leave.”
His fingers were now on my back, his touch firm and confident. “That’s never been the problem.”
“Hey, you two, stop getting all touchy-feely over there,” Caz bellowed. “It’s time to start the ass kicking.”
“Language!” Stacy pointed her finger at Caz and gave him a scowl that was meant to be firm but looked adorable.
“Sorry, Stacy,” Caz said, looking regretful. “Come on Ben, you’re up first.”
Ben had his cane, but since he’d never been to the bowling alley before and didn’t know the layout, Caz sauntered over and took his elbow in a grip so light it was almost imperceptible. I paid close attention, noting how the small, subtle movements of Caz’s hand caused Ben to change direction and find his way without making it look like he was being led.
