I wince, picturing the scene.
“Really, you should go before someone sees you. I think it’ll just make things worse.”
“Will you at least tell Fred I stopped by?”
“Charlie, I—”
“Or just tell him I called. Could you do that? He has to give me another chance, Lorraine. He just has to.”
Lorraine pauses just a half second before saying, “Sure, Charlie. I’ll do that.”
“Thank you. I need all the help I can get right now.”
Lorraine looks like she might start crying. “Charlie, we’re all rooting for you upstairs. No one wants to see you go. You’re one of the good ones. Everyone thinks so.”
“Thanks, Lorraine. That means a lot.”
“I truly believe this is going to straighten itself out,” she says with a firm nod. “Just have faith. Don’t give up.”
“I won’t.”
We hug again. She squeezes me extra-hard before releasing me, and when she pulls back, I notice tears in her eyes.
“Hey, Lorraine?” I call out just as she’s turning away. “Any idea what’s going to happen to Todd?”
“To Todd?” she asks, perplexed.
“Well, yeah. Since he was the one who leaked the video of me online.”
Her eyes widen. “Really? You’re sure?”
“Pretty sure. Yes. One hundred percent sure.”
“Can you prove it?”
“I—” I pause. Rage wells up inside me. Todd hasn’t been so much as slapped on the wrist, and here I am, standing in the lobby with a defunct ID card in my hand. “I’m sure I could find proof. It was definitely him,” I say, feeling desperate.
“You gotta do that, Charlie,” Lorraine says excitedly. “If Fred and Welles and Steve have someone else to blame for this mess, maybe they’ll let you off the hook.”
“You’re right. That’s what I need to do. I need to prove my case.”
“And in the meantime I’ll tell Fred to call you.”
“Thanks, Lorraine. You’re the best.”
“You’re not alone, Charlie. We’re all behind you.”
Lorraine throws me a final wave and disappears back into the elevator. For a minute I stand in the lobby wishing there was something more I could do. Then the other elevator doors open and out walks Martin Hamlisch. When our eyes connect, his face turns white as a sheet. Before I can say anything, he offers me a short, embarrassed nod and then turns his attention to his BlackBerry. Our shoulders nearly touch as he walks straight past me without so much as a word.
Pinnipeds
Zadie and Caleb are standing on the sidewalk in front of our building, hailing a cab. I spot him from down the block; he’s wearing his hot pink Dora backpack and leggings to match. Sunglasses are pushed up on his head. He’s gesticulating enthusiastically as he talks. Zadie throws her head back and laughs as a cab pulls up alongside them.
“Hey!” I call out. “Wait up, you guys!”
Caleb spins around, his sunglasses falling down onto his nose. When he sees me jogging towards them, his face lights up.
“He’s here!” he shouts to Zadie, so loudly that I can hear him from fifty yards away. “See, I told you he’d come!”
Zadie looks both pleased to see me and annoyed at me for impeding their progress.
“You getting in or what?” the cabby snaps from the front seat. “Meter’s running.”
“If the meter’s running, you’ve got nothing to worry about,” Zadie replies. To me she says, “Hurry up, Charlie. We don’t have all day.”
“Yeah, they feed the sea lions at eleven thirty,” Caleb announces. “But there’s always a crowd around the tank so you have to get there ahead of time if you want to get a good spot.”
“Well, we obviously can’t miss that,” I say, slamming the cab door closed behind us. “Central Park Zoo, please, sir. We’re in a bit of a rush.”
Once inside the zoo, Caleb jets ahead of us, securing his position at the edge of the sea lion tank. I notice a gaggle of older boys—eight or nine years old, I’d guess—standing off to the side. One nods his head at Caleb’s outfit, and the rest burst out laughing. Caleb either doesn’t notice that he’s being made fun of or he doesn’t care; his eyes stay laser focused on the sea lions.
“Do you see that?” I nudge Zadie. I can feel my heart thumping angrily inside my chest. “They’re laughing at him.”
Zadie shades her eyes. She looks at Caleb, then at the boys, then back at Caleb.
“He doesn’t see them,” she says, her voice quiet. “It’s okay.”
“Yeah, but I see them. I should go say something.”
Zadie puts her hand on my forearm. “No, Charlie,” she says, holding me back. “Don’t. It’ll just make it worse.”
“Caleb needs to know I’ve got his back.”
“There are other ways of showing him that.”
Caleb turns and waves at us. “Come on, you guys! They’re about to start!”
Zadie smiles wide. “We’re coming!” she calls back, then skips through the gathering crowd until she’s by his side. Without warning, she grabs him beneath the arms and hoists him up as high as she can, so that he’s eye level with the sea lions. He shrieks with delight when one swims by, spraying them both with water.
I hang back for a minute and watch them together. They chatter back and forth like old friends. It occurs to me that Zadie genuinely enjoys Caleb’s company. She’s not just listening to him for the sake of it; she’s actually interested in hearing what he has to say.
“Whatcha guys talking about?” I ask as I slip in behind them.
“Pinnipeds!” Caleb shrieks.
“Naturally,” I say, raising an eyebrow at Zadie. “I was just thinking about pinnipeds myself.”
“Really?” Caleb frowns, scanning my face. “Were you really?”
“I was thinking that pinnipeds are absolutely delicious and that maybe I should order us some for dinner.”
“No! You don’t even know what they are!” Caleb dissolves into a fit of giggles.
“You got me. I don’t know what a pinniped is.”
“Sea lions are pinnipeds,” Caleb says earnestly. “It means a fin-footed marine nanimal.”
“Mammal,” Zadie corrects.
“Nammal. It says so over there,” Caleb says, pointing to a large sign affixed to the sea lion tank.
“I learn a new thing every day.”
“I know about a lot of stuff,” Caleb says with a shrug.
“I bet you do, bud,” I say. I attempt to ruffle his hair but he pulls away, adjusting his sunglasses instead. “I gotta hang out with you more often.”
“Yup,” he replies with a nod. “Then you’d know more about pinnipeds.”
• • •
“How was your meeting?” Zadie asks me. We’re sitting at the dining room table, relaxing after putting Caleb to sleep. “What did Fred have to say for himself?”
“Nothing. At least, not to me. He was in a meeting, so we didn’t get a chance to speak.”
“Ah.”
“I saw Lorraine, though. She said everyone was rooting for me, which was nice.”
“I always liked Lorraine.”
“She had a good idea, actually. She said what I need is proof. That way I can show Fred that it’s Todd who’s the problem, not me.”
“What?” Zadie squints at me. “Proof? What are you talking about?”
“Proof that it was Todd who leaked the video of me to that website, Above the Law. I think I can get it, too. Remember Alison, the girl we ran into yesterday? She went to college with Marissa. Marissa is Todd’s on-again, off-again girlfriend. And Marissa works at Above the Law. If I can just get Alison to get Marissa to tell me if it was Todd who told her about the video, I’ll have proof positive that he orchestrated this whole thing to get me fired.”
“I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Forget it.”
“Okay,” Zadie says, staring at m
e quizzically. “You’re acting a little crazy. You know that, right? I don’t think revenge is what you should be focusing on right now.”
“I’m focused on getting my job back. Anyway, I just spent the whole afternoon at the zoo with you and Caleb.”
“That was fun, wasn’t it? Caleb was so happy you made it. And see? You learned all about pinnipeds.”
“I was happy to get some time with him.”
“Well, on that note . . .” Zadie pauses, biting her lip.
“What?”
“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind if I took a few days off. Buck and I were thinking of going out to the Hamptons. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t ask for something like this, but since you aren’t working right now . . .”
“It’s only temporary.”
“I know, Charlie. I’m literally just asking for a few days. A week at most. I also thought it would give you some time with Caleb.”
Zadie stares at me expectantly. Her arms are crossed tightly against her chest. I can tell she thinks I’m going to say no. And I want to say no; of course I want to say no. How am I going to go about getting my job back if I’ve got to watch Caleb, too? Not to mention the fact that I’ve never spent more than an afternoon taking care of Caleb by myself. I’m not sure I’d know where to start.
But of course I can’t possibly say no. Zadie’s never taken a vacation. Hell, she’s never even taken a sick day. She watches Caleb on nights and weekends when I’m at the office or on the road or simply too tired to put up with him. She’s raising him herself, with far too little help from me. She deserves to take a few days away with her boyfriend.
“Of course,” I say with a sigh.
“Really? You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
“You guys will be okay? I can show you everything. How he likes his eggs in the morning and this special hummus that I make for him from scratch . . .”
“Whoa, there, sister. Let’s not get crazy here. We can do takeout for a few days.”
Zadie leans back in her chair. For the first time in weeks she looks visibly relieved. “I’m so glad this is okay with you. I know the timing is tough, but Buck said, ‘When else is Charlie going to have the time to watch him?’ So—”
I wave her off. “Don’t say another word. Done deal.”
“You’re the best, Charlie.”
“I try.” I stand up and stretch. “It’s late. I’m going to try to call Alison before I go to bed.”
Zadie raises her eyebrows. “Ohmygod, really?” she says, in a nearly pitch-perfect impression of Alison.
I shoot her a look.
Zadie lets out a giggle. “You totally should call Jerry, Charlie. He loves to mentor young people. Maybe you guys can get together out east.”
“I’m leaving now.”
“Tell Alison ‘Sadie’ says hello!”
• • •
Alison, unsurprisingly, picks up on the first ring.
“Charlie,” she coos. “Ohmygod, I was just thinking about you.”
“It was nice seeing you yesterday, Alison.”
“Loved it. Love you. And Sadie is so adorable.”
“She sends her best. Listen, I hope this isn’t too presumptuous of me, but I was hoping you might be willing to do me a favor.”
“Charlie, for you? Anything.”
It takes me a while to explain to Alison what I need her to do.
“So basically you want me to get Marissa to rat out her boyfriend?” she says, annoyed. Clearly, this is not the favor she was anticipating.
“Well, I don’t know if Todd is Marissa’s boyfriend. I mean, he definitely sees other people . . .”
“So you want me to tell Marissa that her boyfriend is a cheater and then get her to rat him out?”
“Not rat out per se. Just, you know, be honest. What he did was really horrible, Alison. I lost my job. I may never be able to work again because of what he did to me.”
Alison sighs. “I feel terrible that you got fired. Obviously. You don’t deserve that, Charlie. And if Todd is behind it, then he’s an even bigger asshole than I thought he was. I just don’t want to put Marissa in an uncomfortable position. She’s, like, a friend. We were in the same sorority. That’s supposed to mean something.”
I take a deep breath and force myself to count to three. When we were together, Alison never showed anything resembling loyalty to a female friend; in fact, I was convinced that she maintained her female friendships solely in order to have people to compare herself favorably to. It’s hard to believe that she genuinely cares about Marissa’s feelings, a girl she once described as “so nice that sometimes I think she might have had a lobotomy.”
“Like, what if she and Todd get married? I would definitely not be invited to their wedding,” Alison continues. I can tell that she’s getting herself worked up, and if I don’t try a different tactic, I’ll be on the phone with her until sunrise.
“You know what? You’re right. Don’t call Marissa. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’ll find some other way to prove my case.” I pause for a dramatic effect before adding, “Thank you for listening, Alison. I really appreciate it.”
“Wait, Charlie! Don’t go.”
“It’s late. I’ve bothered you enough already.”
“No!” Alison squeaks. “It’s no bother. Look, I’ll talk to Marissa. I’ll just explain the situation. Maybe if she hears that you, like, lost your job because of that video, she’ll feel guilty enough to come clean. I mean, you’re a father, after all. A single father. How could anyone sleep at night knowing they caused you to lose your job?”
“Thank you, Alison. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”
“I can’t promise anything, but I can try to help,” Alison says, and for the first time, maybe ever, I hear genuine sweetness in her voice. “It’s going to work out for you, Charlie. I just know it. You’re too good a guy for it not to.”
As I hang up the phone, I feel a shiver of excitement. I may be down, Todd, I think to myself, but I’m sure as hell not out. Not quite yet.
Out of Office
“You’re going to be okay, right?” Zadie asks me for the eighteenth time this morning. She doesn’t wait for a response. “I wrote down everything I can think of there,” she says, pointing to a notebook on the kitchen counter. “Dosing for all his medications. Emergency phone numbers. And you can call me anytime, of course. I’ll have my cell.”
“We’re going to be fine,” I say as confidently as possible. “I am actually his father.”
“I know you are, but—” Zadie bites her lip, like I’ve gotten her on a technicality.
“I’m happy you and Buck are getting away. It’ll be nice for me to spend some time with Caleb. Otherwise I’ll just mope around the house.”
“Make sure he eats a good lunch. Dr. Frank is a little concerned about his weight.”
“I’ll make sure he has a good lunch.”
“And not too much TV.”
“Understood.”
“And just be easy on him about the clothes. Let him wear what he wants.”
“Zadie, please. Stop.”
She raises her palms in the air. “Okay, okay,” she says. “You’re right. I’m micromanaging. Sorry.”
“God, if Mom could see us now.”
“I know.” Zadie shakes her head and chuckles. “Cohabitating at thirty-five.”
“Both unemployed.”
“Eh.” Zadie shrugs. “Mom wouldn’t be surprised to see me unemployed.”
“Both unmarried.”
“Mom was thrilled that you convinced Mira to marry you somehow. She figured you’d be a bachelor forever.”
“She loved Mira.”
“Mira was one of us.”
“It’s true,” I say, nodding. By “us” I know she means Mom and her, not Mom and her and me.
“Probably the only three women in the world who could put up with you.”
“Probably.”
&n
bsp; We both laugh.
“At least you and I are getting along. That has to count for something.”
“And raising the best kid in the world.”
“I wish she could see Caleb.”
“I know. God, Mom loved that kid. You know how she was. Always telling us to be true to ourselves and not give a shit what other people think. I think about her every time Caleb and I go shopping. She would have had so much fun with him, just picking out the craziest outfits together and shocking the hell out of all those stuck-up Upper East Side mommies at Caleb’s school. She would have rolled into that place in a purple feather boa and leather pants and Caleb would be rocking out a princess dress and everyone would be staring at them and she would’ve been all, like, ‘What? We’ve arrived, bitches.’ ”
“That sounds like Mom.”
Zadie lets out a loud sniff. “I miss her so goddamn much, Charlie.”
“I know, Z. Me too.” I put a hand on her shoulder and give it a comforting squeeze.
“All right,” I say after a second, clapping my hands together. There’s only so much sentimentality I can handle at seven in the morning. “You packed? When’s Buck picking you up?”
“I’m all set. He should be here soon. We wanted to beat the Hamptons weekend traffic.”
“Fancy.”
“You know me.”
Caleb rounds the corner, dragging Zadie’s rolling suitcase behind him. “Aunt Zadie, where are you going?”
“Going to the beach, bud. With Uncle Buck.”
Caleb makes a face. “But who’s going to take me to camp?”
“Your daddy is. Remember?”
Caleb narrows his eyes at us, as though there’s more to this story; he just can’t figure out what. “Daddy has to go to the office.”
Zadie and I exchange a quick glance. “Not today,” I say. “I’m going to hang out with you while Aunt Zadie is away.”
“But he doesn’t let me sleep in his bed,” he appeals to Zadie, as though maybe he can get her to change her mind. “That’s why I sleep in yours.”
Zadie sighs. “Well, maybe he’ll make an exception.”
This Was Not the Plan Page 9
