A quiet calmness began to spread through Ryan. It was born of exhaustion, but also the confidence that she and Leah would survive this. She had to believe they hadn’t gone through hell to only stall and then fade away to nothing.
They would be that much stronger for the storms they had weathered. Ryan would not fall victim to her family’s choices. She would not lose Leah because she was bound to the crimes and selfishness of the past. The two of them deserved their own future.
***
Ryan turned over, and a thousand sharp stabs of pain rippled down her back and along her side. “Shit.” She grabbed at her lower back trying to stem the pain, only to have her head begin throbbing as she sat up.
Opening her eyes fully, Ryan looked around to see Leah wasn’t in the bed. The clock on the nightstand read one thirty four. Startled by how late she had slept, Ryan pulled the sheets back, and carefully got to her feet. The room shifted slightly, and holding her hand to the side of her face, she could feel the swelling in her left cheek.
The house was quiet as Ryan shuffled into the bathroom. After relieving herself, she stood in shock as she stared her reflection in the mirror. Yellowish-blue bruises and welts had blossomed overnight along her jaw and along her shoulders. The numerous scratches that peppered her face and neck were red and angry looking.
Still too sore to turn and completely assess the damage to her back, Ryan could see from the bruises on her shoulders that her back had taken the brunt of the abuse. Ryan washed her hands, and seeing a white terry cloth robe hanging on the back of the door, she pulled it on, and ventured into the living room.
Surprised Leah wasn’t there, Ryan scanned the room. A folded piece of paper was propped up against a stack of books on the coffee table. Grabbing the note, Ryan slowly lowered herself onto the sofa.
Ryan,
I know you said there shouldn’t be any more sacrifices, but I can’t ask you to continue to see me day in and day out knowing what I did. I know you don’t think it matters, and maybe right now it doesn’t, but I can’t deal with knowing that one day you may look at me and see the woman who murdered your family.
I know I don’t have the strength to not see you – I’m a coward on many levels – so I’ve left. Please don’t look for me, and please trust whatever heartache you may feel, it will get better. You can – in spite of what you think – forget about me.
Leah
Ryan dropped the note to the floor. Her stomach cramped, and she barely made it to the kitchen sink before vomiting. The heaving racked her already sore body with even more stabbing pain. With a trembling hand, Ryan turned the faucet on, and managed to get a few handfuls of water into her mouth before sinking to the floor.
Pulling her knees to her chest, Ryan stared blankly, her eyes filling with tears as the words of Leah’s brief and perfunctory note ran through her mind. Ryan pushed herself up off the floor, and ran into Leah’s bedroom. Pulling open the closet door, she stumbled backward when she saw all the clothes were gone.
Rushing through the house, Ryan noticed toiletries along with several family photos were missing. Ryan paused when she saw Leah’s car keys laying on the table next to the door. Frantic for any sign that the woman Ryan loved hadn’t just abandoned her, she ran outside. Ryan stared at the black Nissan still sitting in the carport in front of Ryan’s blue Honda.
She didn’t want to risk me hearing her move the cars. Ryan stumbled back into the house, picked up the phone. Not remembering the bookshop’s number, she dialed information and waited, her breath held as she was connected through.
“Portable Magic, how may I help you?” Marty’s familiar voice brought a smile to Ryan’s face.
“Hi, Marty. It’s Ryan.”
There was a long pause. “Hey, Ryan.”
Ryan couldn’t imagine Leah would just up and leave her friend and business partner without some sort of arrangements being made. Marty had to know where she was. “Do you know how I can get ahold of Leah, please?” Ryan was unable to manage the stress in her voice, and sounded slightly unhinged as she spoke.
There was another long pause, and Marty cleared his throat before speaking. “No, I’m sorry. I haven’t heard from her.”
Ryan slammed her eyes shut, and took a deep breath. “I think you have, and I know you’re her friend and I completely get that you think you’re protecting her, but –”
“I don’t want to be in the middle of this, Ryan. I’m really sorry, but I can’t.” The line clicked, and possibly the only person who knew where Leah was had just hung up on her.
Ryan dropped the phone to the floor, and collapsed into the recliner. Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked around the living room. Leah was everywhere. Her scent permeated the space. The furniture, the paintings, the books were entirely her, and yet she was gone.
Ryan wasn’t sure how much time had passed before she managed to stand up. Her legs felt weak, and her joints rubbery as she walked back into the bedroom. She had to get out of the house now, or she risked never leaving.
Discarding the robe, Ryan found the sweat pants and t-shirt from the night before. After she was dressed, she looked around for shoes. A sole pair of flip-flops remained on the floor of the closet. Slipping them on, Ryan rushed toward the front door.
Her hand rested on the doorknob, her eyes fixed straight ahead. Her courage faltered, and she backed away from the door. You’ll never be back in this house. You’ll never see her again. Leah’s note was so definitive and cold, Ryan hardly recognized it as the woman she loved.
The idea to walk out the door sprung into Ryan’s mind, and almost independent of her will and desire to simply fade away, she found herself outside. The early afternoon sun shone down on Ryan, and looking up, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. A slight breeze blew through the trees, and its coolness felt good on Ryan’s sore and battered skin.
Ryan felt a surge of bitterness that there should be such a perfect day when something so wretched had happened. Driven by this, Ryan marched toward her car, and was halfway back to Baltimore before the anger gave way to hurt.
“Jesus Christ! What the hell happened to you?!” Nicole jumped up off the couch, her eyes wide with fright as she took in Ryan’s tattered state.
Greg came around the corner from the kitchen. “Shit! Do you need to go to the hospital?”
Ryan stood in the entryway of her house, the trappings of her life seeming made up to her in light of the past forty-eight hours. “I’m okay. Leah and I were hiking yesterday afternoon, and I fell. No worries.”
Ryan started toward the stairs, but Nicole stepped in front of her. Her hand was on Ryan’s forearm and she examined the woman’s face. “Did you go to the hospital? I mean have you seen yourself?”
Greg put his hand on Ryan’s back. “Let me drive you.”
Ryan shook her head. “I’m okay.”
Nicole’s jaw set. “You are not okay, Ryan. You look terrible, we haven’t been able to get ahold of you since yesterday. What’s happened?”
Ryan’s eyes filled with tears. The answer to her friend’s simple question seemed too overwhelming to even contemplate right now. What had happened was too much. Too much to think about, too much to talk about, too much.
“I just need to sleep for a few hours and then we can talk.” Ryan managed a weak smile, the cuts along her lips burning as the skin stretched across her mouth.
Nicole looked over Ryan’s shoulder at Greg, and then back at Ryan, her eyes filled with hesitancy and worry. “Okay, but I’m checking on you in an hour.”
Ryan, relieved for the short reprieve, nodded and walked up the stairs. Reaching her bedroom, her legs ached from the exertion of climbing the steps, and she collapsed onto her bed. The impact of the mattress against her bruised body brought tears to her eyes as she drifted off to sleep.
***
Ryan handed the valet attendant her car keys, and walked towards Pazo, an upscale Mediterranean eatery located in the Fells Point neighborhood near downtow
n Baltimore. Ascending the wrought iron stairs leading to the restaurant’s entrance, Ryan winced. Though it had been over two weeks since that horrific night in the woods, her legs and back still pained her, and the bruises and scratches were only now beginning to fade.
“Good evening.” The hostess, who was wearing a basic black cocktail dress accented by a strand of silver pearls, smiled warmly at Ryan.
“Hello. I’m meeting someone. Myers-Howland.” Ryan scanned the restaurant for her cousin. Pazo was a renovated warehouse with two story ceiling, wrought iron chandeliers, and décor accented with silver and jewel-toned furnishing and art work.
“Of course. Ms. Myers-Howland has already arrived. The two of you will be in the Avellion room this evening. If you’ll follow me please.”
Ryan was nervous enough about seeing her cousin, but the fact she – like her mother – insisted on reserving private dining rooms in lieu of eating with the proverbial masses, annoyed Ryan. To make matters worse, the room was massive. Clearly intended for a party of ten or more, Carol sat at the far end of the long, rectangular dining table with the menu held in front of her face.
The hostess sat Ryan, and it wasn’t until she left that Carol put her menu down and looked at Ryan for the first time. Her mouth was turned downward as she assessed the scratches and bruises on Ryan’s face. Lifting her hand, Carol made as if she were going to touch Ryan’s face, but she rested her hand on the table instead.
“Are you okay?” Carol asked. Her efforts to sound resolved and distant failed as her voice cracked, and tears filled her eyes.
Ryan swallowed the lump in her throat. Before she could answer, a middle aged redheaded woman entered the room. She was wearing a pair of black slacks, black leather heels, and a white, fitted button-up shirt.
“Good evening, ladies. I’m Janelle and I’ll be assisting you this evening. Can I get you something to drink?”
Carol turned her face away, not wanting the stranger to see she was crying. Ryan covered Carol’s hand with hers, and clearing her throat, managed a smile for the waitress. “Yes. Two Tanqueray and tonics, please.”
Janelle looked hesitantly at Carol, but only nodded at Ryan before leaving the room. Carol pulled her hand from Ryan’s and dabbed at the corners of her eyes with the black linen napkin from her lap. Reaching for the glass of water in front of her, Carol took a long drink.
“This is hard.” Ryan said. She didn’t know what else to say. The police had found the Lincoln the day after Ryan had pushed the bodies of her family off the bridge. They had contacted Carol, and she had called Ryan.
The conversation had been halted and strained. Carol not wanting to know too much, and Ryan worried she would say too much. Ryan had been consumed with guilt over what had happened, and the obvious pain Carol was in. They hadn’t been able to get past the obligatory discussion about getting Carol’s parents and brother back to New York, what to say to the media, and what other arrangements had to be made.
“How were the funerals?” Ryan picked nervously at the hem of her napkin. Carol and Ryan had decided it was best if Ryan didn’t attend the services in New York. The media coverage was scrutiny enough. Carol didn’t feel she had the fortitude to stand next to Ryan and feign ignorance of her cousin’s role in the death of her family.
“Exhausting.” Carol managed as she regained her composure.
Ryan frowned. “I loved them.”
Carol shook her head. “I don’t see how that can be true.”
Ryan struggled to keep her voice low. “You weren’t there. They were trying to ki –”
Anger flashed across Carol’s eyes. “Don’t you dare defend her!” Realizing how loud she had been, Carol lowered her voice. “Don’t you dare tell me what she did was okay.”
Ryan leaned back in her chair just as Janelle returned with their drinks. “Ladies, we have a few off menu items this evening.”
Ryan looked up at the woman, and smiled. “Could I trouble you to give us a few minutes, please?”
Sensing the tension between the two women, Janelle seemed all too happy to be excused. “Certainly.”
Ryan turned her attention back to Carol, who was drinking eagerly from her gin and tonic. “Don’t you even want to know what happened?”
Carol shook her head and slammed the nearly empty glass down on the table. “You mean the version you and she concocted to mask the murder of three people? No – I’ll pass, thanks.”
Ryan gasped. “You can’t believe I would do that?”
Carol shrugged, unable to make eye contact with Ryan. “Two weeks ago, no. But now – all the evidence points to yes.”
Ryan reached for Carol’s hand, wanting desperately to set things straight. She couldn’t lose her cousin on top of everything else. Her affection was rebuffed as Carol moved her hand, reaching for her glass instead. Ryan pulled her hand back into her lap, and the two women sat in an unbearable silence.
“I should tell the police.” Carol spoke casually, her voice even as she stared at her now empty glass.
A wave of panic washed over Ryan, her face feeling flush with it. She didn’t know what Carol was playing at, but the idea she would even consider turning Ryan and Leah in galled Ryan, and she nearly hissed the words when she spoke.
“You do that, Carol. You tell them that your parents and brother kidnapped a woman with the intent to burn her alive because they believed she’s a witch.” Ryan tossed her napkin on the table, the conversation turning her stomach.
Carol’s eyes shot up, her face red with anger. “You’re not the only one that can spin a good tale. It wouldn’t be that difficult to turn them onto her, and let the rest fall as it may.”
Ryan grabbed Carol’s wrist, her fingers digging into the woman’s skin. “Do you think this is a game?”
Carol wrenched her arm loose from Ryan. “I know exactly what this is. You’ve let your love for this woman blind you to everything you’ve lost.”
“What have I lost, Carol, that hadn’t already been taken from me?” Ryan countered.
“Me!” Tears streamed down Carol’s cheeks. “I can’t know you any more, Ryan. I can’t see you and know you were involved in the murder of my parents and brother.” Carol wiped at her face, her mascara darkening the space below her eyes.
Ryan’s heart felt as if it were pounding in the back of her throat. Carol had been like her sister. She had confided everything to her, trusted her more than she trusted herself sometimes. Now, she was losing her.
Carol laid her napkin on the table, and stood up. “I love you, but I won’t pretend for the rest of our lives.”
Ryan got up, and hurried around the table. “Who’s pretending? I just want you to hear the truth.”
Carol pointed at her, a gesture that reminded Ryan of Lucy. “You mean your truth. The one that paints our – my family as vicious murders. No!”
Carol grabbed her purse. “And so you know, I may not be able to get the police involved, but you know all too well our family has been managing those – things for millennia.” Pulling the leather strap of her purse over her shoulder, Carol made for the door.
“Carol, wait.” Ryan walked quickly to catch up with Carol, not sure what she was going to say.
Pausing at the door, Carol took a deep breath before turning to face Ryan. “What?”
Ryan stood in front of her cousin, shoulders slumped. “Please don’t do this.”
Carol’s expression softened. The harshness in her eyes gave way to compassion, but only for a moment. “Tell Leah to watch her back.” Carol meant to storm out, but seeing the confused and hurt expression that covered her cousin’s face, she stopped. “You don’t know where she is, do you?”
Ryan hadn’t wanted to share this with Carol. She knew it was unreasonable, but Ryan felt something akin to shame over Leah abandoning her. “I – she –”
Carol shook her head. “Wow. My mother was right about that too. She is a coward, and she runs at the slightest sign of danger or when she might have t
o own what she is.”
Ryan couldn’t bring herself to defend Leah, and that alone made her sick with regret. Her feelings about Leah leaving her were still too raw, and a toxic mixture of hurt and anger; so she held her tongue.
“Goodbye, Ryan.” Carol’s voice cracked, and tears streamed down her face anew.
Ryan only managed a weak nod as another woman she loved left her.
Epilogue
“Are you game for another drink?” Donnie asked Ryan. The two were sitting at a high top table in Boston’s North Star sports bar. The bar was located in the West End, and it was still early enough in the evening that Ryan could actually hear her boss over the background noise of the bar.
“No thanks. I think I’ll head back to the hotel.” Ryan was in Boston for a conference on renewable resources and their utilization in food and housing welfare programs. She was pleased to have been selected for the trip as it was indicative of the confidence both Donnie and his seniors had in her.
It had been over a year since she had last seen Leah, and she had been grateful for the distraction work offered. In that time she had been able to institute three new initiatives around affordable housing, and had improved several existing programs, including the Healthy Kids, Healthy Schools program.
Ryan felt her phone buzzing in her back pocket. “Excuse me, Donnie. I’m going to take this outside so I can hear.” The man smiled and nodded, his attention focused on the Orioles and Yankees game playing on one of the twenty flat screen televisions that hung around the bar.
“Hey! How are you?” Ryan exited the bar, and stepped out into the cool night air of Boston. The bar sat along a well trafficked street, and Ryan had to dodge several pedestrians before reaching the edge of the sidewalk.
“Hey yourself, maid of honor.” Nicole gushed. “Just a heads-up, I’m sending you pictures of dress samples to look at, so check your email in about a half hour.”
Fallen Elements Page 28
