“What are you-”
Ignoring him, Liz went around one of the tables and took hold of a Bunsen burner. With shaking hands, she turned on the gas and lit the flame. The fire was only just bigger than the flame of a candle, but in her eyes it was a monster.
“Liz, you-”
“Watch,” she snapped, and without any more hesitation or doubt or fear, Liz stuck her hand in the flame and held it there.
Joshua gazed in awe at her skin through the flame, and Liz’s heart beat not in pain, but in shock. The strangest tingling feeling fluttered in her palm and when she drew back, the flame went out. Joshua’s mouth spread into a wide smile and he kicked the rusty metal stool under him and sat down.
“Do it again,” he beamed.
“I can’t.”
“Please?”
“No Joshua,” she shook her head. “That was hard enough-”
Joshua suddenly leapt forward across the table, grabbed her shoulders and held her tight. Liz squealed and froze, Joshua’s eyes terrifying her. “I need to see it again!”
“Get – off me!” she yelled, shoving him away. His behavior as of late hadn’t been exactly normal, but this was definitely the icing on the cake. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Joshua paled and stepped back, running his hands through his thick black hair. He didn’t meet her eyes as he muttered, “I’m sorry. Uh… I just got excited.”
She stared at him, wondering what on earth had taken this quiet, awkward man and given him such a bite.
“I might… go into town to get a few things. Did you need any more painkillers?”
“Yeah…” Liz nodded, turning to the window and pulling down the blinds. “And we might need some more hardware, like nails and stuff. That storm blew down the door in front of the generator and these windows need covering, or all your equipment is gonna get flooded.”
“Fine. I’ll be back later, okay?”
She waved goodbye and watched him head out the door and into the house. As she sat back down and stared at the Bunsen burner, her thoughts racing almost as fast as her heart, she listened to the engine of the jeep roar to life and chug down the driveway to the bumpy road over the hill.
Liz waited there for a few minutes, staring around at the lab. She wondered if the answers to Joshua’s behavior could be found here, where he seemed to be spending all his time. Regardless of his privacy, it was her right to know what he was up to.
She dug deep in the lab, searching through every drawer and box she could find. Soon, she came across an old filing cabinet. It was rusty and bent and wouldn’t close properly. Liz opened the bottom drawer first and found nothing but his notes on rock particles. The second drawer was a little more interesting. Joshua’s chemical formulas were scribbled with his own notes. On more than one occasion, she saw the words ‘Feucotetanus’ and ‘fire’ with giant question marks. As Liz sat down to read, she noticed a bunch of tapes from their video camera at the very bottom of the drawer. She and Joshua had been documenting their findings ever since they moved to the shack. But Liz had never seen these tapes. Instead of being marked with dates like all the others on the shelf, they were instead labeled with his formulas. Frowning, she picked up one of the tapes and made her way through the mess of fallen chairs and broken glass to the shelf filled with old hardcovers, jars of creepy specimens and their camera. Beside the camera was a box of recent recordings that hadn’t been converted into disc copies on the computer yet.
With her hand on the recorder, she opened the eject pocket but stopped herself. What if Joshua’s recordings were private? Had she any right snooping in there?
Her conscience never answered her, and suddenly she found her fingers rewinding the tape and pressing play.
four
As the afternoon sun bled down on the horizon, Joshua’s peaceful thoughts on the thesis resting on his knees were interrupted by the piercing scream that ripped through the shack and sent him toppling out of his chair.
“Joshua!”
The back door of the shack flew open and Joshua practically dove out onto the porch. He stared at Liz’s clammy face, then at her stomach, and then at the puddle of water leaking through the hammock and onto the deck. If it were possible, Joshua’s face would have paled more-so.
“Oh God,” he whispered. “Holy Jesus-”
“Get me to a fucking hospital!” Liz shrieked.
A split second of panic later, Joshua sprang into action. He helped Liz out of the hammock, thanking God he’d pre-packed the baby bag when she’d asked him to a week ago, and snatched it from the hat-rack in the doorway. Without even locking the shack – unnecessary anyway, since they lived in the middle of the mountain range – Joshua and Liz hobbled out to the jeep.
“How much does it hurt?” he asked, throwing the bag in the small space at the back. “Should I call a chopper? It’s a half-hour drive Liz, will you make it?”
“Yes,” she breathed, bending over and clutching her knees by the passenger door. “I’ll be fine. Please Joshua, just hurry.”
“Hey.” Joshua clutched Liz’s shaking hand and directed her eyes to his. “It’s going to be okay. I promise Liz. This baby is going to be beautiful.”
Forcing a smile, Liz nodded and climbed awkwardly into the front seat of the jeep. Joshua slipped on the gravel as he hurried to the driver’s side. The engine sprang to life and they began the bumpy hike through the mountains to the local hospital in the main town.
Liz held onto the child in her stomach and began the breathing exercises they’d practiced. Joshua tried as best he could to navigate an easy road through the mountains, but every bump and break in the path was like a punch to Liz’s stomach. Once they reached the main road, Joshua drove like a maniac on crack to the hospital. Several times they were hooted at and skipped over the curb.
Liz gripped the dashboard as another contraction surged through her.
“Are you okay?” Joshua made a sharp left turn. “We’re nearly there. Hey move it asshole!”
Liz winced at the beep of the horn. Joshua cast her a quick sideways glance.
“Liz, how does it feel?”
“It feels like there’s a goddamn alligator trying to chew its way out of my uterus!”
Joshua felt suddenly queasy at the thought. “Ouch.”
“Yeah. Ouch.”
They screeched into the emergency parking lot of the hospital three minutes later and were immediately crowded by paramedics. Joshua followed them into the lobby, carrying Liz on a stretcher. She was screaming in pain now.
The bright white lights of the hospital flashed over them as he ran to catch up with the speeding stretcher. All the doctors and nurses were crowding around, asking Liz questions, asking him questions, and all the while something was building up inside him, something cold and frightened. He clung to her hand as best he could and they flew into an emergency room where Liz was lifted onto an upright bed. There was already blood dripping from under her dress.
Liz reached out in the space around her for Joshua’s hand and gripped it tight. The unpleasant heat made him instantly nauseas. The bed was wheeled into a private room where people shouted in Spanish all around them. Liz’s eyes were wide with terror, and he wondered what his face looked like at that moment.
The doctor was barking orders at the nurses, who were rushing around gathering supplies and helping Liz get comfortable. But she was far from that. Her hair was dripping with sweat. Her face was redder than a tomato. She clung to Joshua’s hand, and clung to it tight.
“I’m here, Lizzie,” he whispered.
Liz nodded, breathing through her teeth, tears rolling down her cheeks.
She was injected with a systemic analgesic. Joshua watched the doctor duck under the blue sheet and then shout at Liz to push. She looked on the verge of collapsing, and Joshua’s heart seemed to explode from his chest. His hands were slipping from hers. They were burning up.
Joshua didn’t know how it happened, but somehow his hands sta
rted to freeze in temperature. He met Liz’s droopy eyes and there was the smallest of frowns on her face. He whispered words of comfort to her and put his hand on her forehead. Liz let out a breath of release at his touch.
“You need to push, Elizabeth!” the doctor urged.
Her screams of agony made Joshua sob. He stood beside her and watched, hating himself for not being able to take her pain, wishing he were a doctor or a magician so he could make it all disappear.
“Promise me… you’ll look after… my baby Joshua,” Liz heaved. Her grip was so tight that Joshua’s hand was tingling. “Give her… this.” She placed in his hands a necklace crafted from volcanic minerals. Liz made it a few months ago, molding the tiny metal shape into the Chinese symbol for fire.
He nodded, clenching his teeth together. He looked at the doctor, who gazed sadly back. Liz was either succumbing to the drugs, or…
“Lizzie, please!”
“Mr. Harrison, the baby is crowning,” said the doctor.
“I don’t care!” he screamed, throwing his hand down on the tray of instruments so they scattered across the floor. One of the nurses jumped back in surprise. “I don’t care!”
An anger of such strong proportions surged through him and he was afraid he might do something crazy, but Liz squeezed his hand and caught his gaze. The fear was suddenly flushed away like water down a drain.
“Joshua, please.” Her eyes were, in a single moment, more piercing than the light of the sun. They were alight with a glorious blaze, a fire so bright that he was momentarily stunned. “Love her,” she said. “Love her for me.”
Without waiting for a reply, Liz arched her back and clenched her teeth as she pushed with all her might. Her eyes were rolling around in her head, her face pale like snow. The screaming was so loud that Joshua had to look away. That’s when he saw the puddle of blood on the floor at his feet. It surrounded them. The nurses were almost slipping on it. So much blood…
And then he heard it. The most beautiful sound in the world.
The baby was crying.
“You did it Liz,” Joshua beamed. “You did it! Hang in there!”
“It’s a girl,” someone said.
A girl.
The baby was carried away and the doctors began to fuss over the blood on the floor. They started injecting Liz with other chemicals, but her eyes were drooping shut.
“What’s happening?” he screamed at the doctor.
The pale, frightened look on all their faces was enough to answer his question.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Harrison-”
“No,” he growled in a deep, terrifying voice. “Not good enough.” Joshua curled his fist, rage consuming him, until Liz brought him back in her soft, lifeless voice.
“Joshua…” It was barely a breath. She managed to roll her head and meet Joshua’s eyes. She even managed to smile.
“Protect her… Joshua. Protect my Hunter.”
Joshua held onto Liz, ignoring the finality in her tone. He refused to believe what he knew was about to happen. The doctors will heal her, they’ll make it all okay.
“I promise,” he muttered, tears spilling from his eyes. “Liz, I p-promise.”
“Thank you…”
Her hand slipped from his. A long lock of red hair fell over her face. And the breath left Liz’s mouth in a loud, finished sigh.
– PART 2 –
THE DARKNESS
five
e i g h t e e n y e a r s l a t e r
The screen went blank. Hunter stared at it, her mouth dropping open, her blood boiling. She waited, hoping, praying that the computer would miraculously spring to life again. But it remained blank like her truly oppressive chance at being accepted into Hamilton College.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she hissed. “Joshua!”
Hunter turned away from the shadow of her cherry-red hair and burning golden eyes in the black computer screen – afraid she might shove her fist through it in anger – and stormed to the door of the study, muttering curses as she went.
The apartment was quiet, no television in the background. She assumed Joshua was upstairs in his bedroom, so she stalked past their mirage of photos hanging on the rich maroon walls to his door.
“Joshua!” she shouted, pounding against the frame. “The computer died again!”
Soft footsteps came to the door and when it opened, Joshua Harrison appeared before her wearing a slim black suit and tie that hadn’t been fixed yet. He was freshly shaven, his black hair slicked back perfectly as always, and his pale blue eyes glowed like the waters of the Caribbean.
“How do I look?”
She smiled, stepped inside the bedroom and snatched the navy tie in her hand.
“For a forty-year-old bachelor, you look dashing,” she said courteously.
He ignored her jibe. “Dashing enough for a university benefit party?”
“Please,” she snorted. “Anyone with half a brain and a smart suit is dashing enough for your boring gatherings.” Joshua smiled wider and she glanced up through thick eyelashes at his inclined chin. There was a small spot of dried blood where he’d cut himself shaving, just below the line of his jaw. She rolled her eyes. “You know, you’re not going to get any action if you can’t even groom yourself.”
Joshua’s face went pink. “It’s a new shaver.” Hunter laughed at that. “And anyway, I don’t attend the benefits to ‘score’, as you would say. I do it for my reputation.”
Hunter straightened the tie and smoothed his shoulders. “Yeah, sure you do.”
He sighed and shook his arms deeper into the suit. “What did you say was wrong with the computer?”
“It shut down. I was in the middle of my application for Hamilton.”
Joshua gave her a confused sideways glance as he buckled his watch. “Hamilton? I thought we agreed on Columbia?”
She turned away so he couldn’t see her eyes burn. “No, you agreed on Columbia. You know, just because you lecture there, it doesn’t guarantee me a spot. Besides, I seem to recall this being my life we’re pledging, so maybe I should make the decision.”
“And what is it you plan on studying at Hamilton?” He hissed the name as though it were a pesky cold.
That, Hunter wasn’t sure of yet. The only thing she really excelled at in school was science – thanks to Joshua’s great influence – but even that didn’t excite her. In fact, Hunter didn’t have much in her life worth excitement. She watched a lot of TV and movies because she didn’t have friends at school, dreamed of buying a classic Chevrolet Camaro or maybe even a Firebird, and enjoyed almost any kind of coffee she could get her hands on.
But as for life and the ‘Grand Plan’, her paper was empty.
Maybe that’s why she found she couldn’t answer Joshua’s question. Instead, she turned to his mirror and pretended to fix her hair.
“Well,” he continued, “you can have a chat to some of the professors tonight and see what they think about your future, okay?” Joshua flicked his wrist and glanced at the black Cartier watch. “The cab will be here in five, go and get dressed.”
Hunter looked down at her skin-tight, knee-length black halter dress and simple strappy heels and then back up at Joshua.
“I am dressed,” she said.
He froze in the middle of smoothing his gelled hair in his reflection, shot her a smile and nodded. “Right. Of course.”
Hunter knew he was lying. Normally she wouldn’t put up with the abuse, but tonight was different. Tonight, she would do anything she could to make herself look respectable. Not for her own reputation, but for his. Hers would definitely not be saved, even if she went to the benefit dressed as a nun.
Tonight was the annual benefit party for the lecturers at Colombia University. It was a very formal event, in which men and women of Joshua’s league would clink their glasses together, cackle about calculators, chalkboards and the new iPad installments and pretend to be drunk just for something to gossip about on a Monday. Hunter had
been once. Aside from the kick-ass food, she hated it. It was too formal. All talk and no action with a bunch of dreary people waffling on about their dreary jobs.
Hunter was attending tonight’s event purely and simply for Joshua. He was receiving an award for his most recent findings on an expedition in the mountains of Nepal, the proceeds of which were contributed to the new science building at the university. The award meant a lot to Joshua, and therefore Hunter felt it was right she attended; for moral support and to prove to him how proud she was. And tonight, no one was more proud than she, aside from Joshua himself.
Hunter shimmied her dress back down her legs where it had ridden up and slid her purse under her arm. “I’m gonna grab my coat.”
“Hurry up, okay?”
Hunter clacked in her heels down the marble stairs into the downstairs level. The living room was a spacious area of the house with a floor-to-ceiling window portraying a fabulous view of the city and a very modern set up of boxy couches, a glossy table and a television on a classy brick wall over a fireplace. The kitchen was unnecessarily large, with charcoal bench tops, pasty white cupboards and an island in the middle covered in take-out boxes. Joshua never cooked for her anymore for two reasons: one, because he couldn’t cook to save his life and two, because Hunter always came home from work with bags of leftover Chinese food to last them both a week.
Joshua liked to keep things very neat and professional – a quirk that never seemed to stick with Hunter.
Carpeted in deep brown and layered in maroon and gold, Hunter’s bedroom was exactly the right shade for her, with exactly the right amount of mess. Her clothes were flung on the armchair by the window and at the end of the bed, her school books lay spread across the carpet along with her scarlet and black work uniform.
Hunter threw things carelessly across the room as she searched for a coat. The dress she wore slid higher up her thighs and she cursed, yanked it back down and wished she had more options for formal occasions. Normally Hunter didn’t care much for what she wore or what people thought about her, but Joshua needed her, and for that, she would try to look her best. That meant nothing too casual. The LBD was all she had.
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