by Lori Foster
His palm cradled the back of her head, his fingers kneading her scalp, tangling in her hair. “Tell me what’s wrong, Em. I’ll fix it if I can.”
Through her tears, she managed a laugh. He was the most wondrous man. She pulled away to retrieve a tissue, then cleaned up her tear-stained face before turning back to him. He looked so concerned, so caring, she almost blurted out, I love you. But she managed to keep the words inside. She had no idea how Judd would feel about such a declaration, but she couldn’t imagine him welcoming it, not now, not while he had to concentrate on getting Donner.
“I guess I’m just a little overwrought,” she said lamely. She quickly added, “I mean, with my brother being here, and worrying over him and the break-in.”
Judd still looked concerned, but he nodded. “I understand. Would you like to take a nap, too?”
She’d never be able to sleep. “No. I have housework to do, and the yard needs some work. And I thought I’d put on a roast to cook for dinner.”
Looking sheepish, and somewhat anxious, Judd asked, “You mind if I hang around and help?”
He could be so adorable…Lord, Emily, are you crazy? The man is devastating, not adorable. “Of course you’re welcome to stay. But you don’t have to help out. And I’m still not certain that it’s a good idea for you to stay overnight.”
“I think it’s a hell of an idea. And I insist.” When she frowned, he added, “It’ll only be for a few days. I have to be back at the bar Tuesday. I have the feeling Donner will approach me then. He’s getting restless, and he’s made it clear he thinks we’ll work well together. Since he doesn’t like losing, he’ll probably make me an offer that no normal stripper could refuse.”
It was a small grab for humor, so Emily dutifully smiled. But inside, she felt like crying. The thought of Judd getting more involved with Donner made her skin crawl. They both knew how dangerous he could be.
“Stop frowning, Em. I should be able to set something up with him, find out when and where his next shipment will be, and then I’ll bust him. It’ll be over with before you know it.”
And he’d go out of her life as quickly as he’d entered it. Emily bit her lip. “I’m worried, Judd.”
“Don’t be. I can take care of myself.”
She supposed that was true, since he’d been doing just that since he’d been a child. But for once, she’d like to see him taken care of.
Just that quick, she had a change of heart. Judd might never love her, but he deserved to be loved. And she could easily smother him with affection. She’d enjoy taking care of him, and maybe, just maybe, he’d enjoy it, too.
They spent the day together, and though she tried, Judd didn’t let her do any actual work around the house. She couldn’t convince him that she enjoyed getting her hands dirty once in a while, and since he seemed so determined to have his way, she allowed it. Judd followed her direction, and she simply enjoyed her time with him.
He was a pleasure to watch, to talk to. He moved with easy grace, his muscles flexing and bunching. It was almost a shame he wasn’t a real stripper, for he was certainly suited for the job.
When Judd suddenly stripped off his shirt, Emily thought he might have read her mind. He didn’t look at her, though, merely went back to work. She heard herself say, “Are you performing for me, Judd?”
She’d meant only to tease him, but he slowly turned to face her, and his eyes were intent, almost hot as he caught and held her gaze. “I could be convinced to…in a private performance.”
Not a single answer came to mind. She sat there, staring stupidly. Judd walked to her, pulled her close then kissed her. It was such a devouring kiss, Emily had to hold on to him. His tongue pushed into her mouth, hot and wet and insistent. Judd slanted his head and continued to kiss her until they were both breathless.
When he pulled away, she stared up at him, dazed. He drew a deep breath and tipped up her chin. “Anytime, Emily. You just let me know.”
After that, she refrained from provoking comments. Judd might handle them very well, but she didn’t think she’d live through another one. Instead, she asked about Max, Judd’s past, and about his work. She wanted to know everything about him.
Emily went out of her way to show Judd, again and again, how important he was to her. At times he looked bemused, and at times wary. But more often than not, he looked frustrated.
She understood that frustration since she felt a measure of her own. But having her brother there did inhibit her a bit. Of course, so did her unaccountable response to Judd. It was scandalous, the way he could make her feel. But she suspected he didn’t mind, even if it did embarrass her, so she decided she’d try to see to his frustration—and her own—once John had gone to bed for the evening.
That thought kept her flushed and filled with forbidden anticipation the entire time they worked.
Midafternoon, John joined them, and Emily was amazed to see how John reacted to Judd. It had startled her that morning when John had spoken so openly to Judd. Usually, her brother was stubbornly quiet, refusing to give up his thoughts, brooding in his silence. But with Judd, he seemed almost anxious to talk. And Judd listened.
Emily was so proud of Judd, she could have cried again. No one had ever reached her brother so easily. In a way, she was jealous, because she’d tried so hard to help John. But she supposed it took a male to understand, and Judd not only listened, he gave glimpses into his own past, allowing John to make a connection of sorts. They found a lot of things in common, though their upbringings had been worlds apart.
Emily decided she was seeing male bonding at its best, and went inside to give them more privacy.
She was starting dinner when they both walked in, looking windblown and handsome. Judd winked at Emily when he caught her eye, and John laughed.
“A man’s coming tomorrow to replace my water heater.” She more or less blurted that out from sheer nervousness when Judd started her way. He had that glint in his eyes again, and she truly felt embarrassed carrying on in front of her brother.
But Judd only placed a kiss on her cheek, and flicked a finger over the tip of her nose. “Good.” Then he turned to John. “Make sure you’re here when he comes. I don’t think Emily should be alone in this big house with a strange man.”
“I’ll be here.”
Emily might have objected to their protective attitudes, except that she heard a new strength in John’s tone, that of confidence and maturity. She gave both men a tender smile. They stared back in obvious confusion.
Backing out of the room, John said, “I think I’ll go watch some TV.” But he glanced at Judd, then back to Emily. “Uh…that is, unless you need me to do anything else?”
“No. You can go do whatever you like.”
Once he’d left the room, Emily turned a wondering look on Judd. “How did you do that?”
His grin was smug. “Do what?”
“Turn my little brother into a helpful stranger.”
He laughed outright. “First of all, you could stop calling him your little brother. He’s a head taller than you, Em. Respect his maturity.”
“I hadn’t realized he possessed any maturity.”
“No, I guess you haven’t seen that side of him. But I know Max had to work hard at getting me turned around. And the first thing he did was explain that I was old enough to know better. Put that way, I felt too embarrassed to act like a kid. And little by little, Max pointed out ways to distinguish what it takes to be an adult. Your brother’s no different. He just needed some new choices.”
Emily stood there feeling dumbfounded by his logic. She had enough sense to know it wasn’t that simple, to realize what John needed was someone to identify with, someone who cared. That Judd was that man only made her love him more. “Thank you.”
Judd stared at her, his gaze traveling from her eyes to her mouth, then slowly moving down her body. He muttered a quiet curse, and started toward her. Emily felt her heart trip. But the phone gave a sudden loud peal, and
Judd halted.
Hoping she looked apologetic rather than relieved, Emily asked, “Could you get that, please?”
It rang two more times before Judd turned and picked up the receiver.
She knew right away that asking him to answer the phone had been a mistake. The look on Judd’s face as he tried to explain who he was would have been comical if Emily hadn’t already suspected who her caller was.
When Judd held a palm over the mouthpiece and turned to her, she braced herself.
“It’s your father, and he wants to talk to John. By the way, he also wants to know who I am and what I’m doing here answering your phone.” Judd tilted his head. “What do you want me to tell him, babe?”
Lord, Emily. You’re in for it now.
“IT’S OVER and done with, Em. You might as well forget it.”
Ha! That was easy for Judd to say. Emily had no doubt her parents were headed home right this minute. Of course, it would take them time to get here, but still, she was already dreading that confrontation.
“Come on, Emily. You know John didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Of course he didn’t. It’s just that my parents could rattle anyone.” But why did John have to tell them Judd was her boyfriend. Lord, if they showed up before everything was settled, she’d either have to admit Judd was a detective, and accept their unending annoyance for involving herself in something they’d expressly forbidden, or she’d have to tell them he was a…stripper. She could just imagine their reactions to that.
“I wish I’d talked to them, instead of John.”
Judd turned his face away from her. “I offered you the phone, honey. But you just gave me a blank look. I didn’t think you wanted to talk to them. And even if you had, what could you have told them? That I was a traveling salesman who just picks up other people’s phones?”
She shook her head. “No. But I might have thought of something. And John’s been so solemn since he talked with Father. I have no idea what they talked about—other than their conversation about me—but I know it couldn’t have been pleasant. John’s been sullen and sulky ever since, barely eating his dinner and running off to bed early. I wish he’d talk to me about it.”
“He’s all right, Em. He just needs a little time to himself.”
Emily barely heard him. She stood up and started to pace the room, her mind whirling. Then she threw up her hands in frustration. “Oh, this is just awful. What am I going to do?” She didn’t really expect Judd to answer, since he’d only been watching her with a strange look on his face. “You can’t possibly realize what a trial my father can be. He’s so judgmental, so rigid. Once he takes a stand, he never backs down.”
Judd put his hand at the small of her back and nudged her toward the stairs. “Come on. It won’t do you any good sitting down here and worrying about it. I’d say you probably have a couple of days before your folks get here, and by then, I’ll be gone. So you’re probably worrying about nothing.”
They were halfway up the stairs, when Emily realized what he’d said. She turned to him and gripped his arm. “What are you talking about?”
He wouldn’t look at her, but continued up the steps. “I don’t want to cause you any problems. So I’ll make certain I’m out of the way before they get here. Maybe John can say he misunderstood the situation, or something.”
Judd started to go to the room Emily had given him the night before. She rushed up the remaining steps to catch him. “Wait a minute.”
Judd lifted one dark eyebrow in question. “What?”
What are you going to do now, Emily? Just blurt out that you want him? He doesn’t really seem all that interested anymore. She swallowed and tried to find a way to phrase her request without sounding too outrageous. “I…um.”
Judd frowned and walked closer to her. “What is it?”
She glanced toward her brother’s room, then took Judd’s hand and urged him away from the door. When they were outside her bedroom, she stopped. Judd made a quick glance at the door, and this time both his eyebrows lifted.
Emily drew a calming breath. “I don’t want to disturb John. And I don’t want you to misunderstand.”
Judd waited.
“It’s about what I said before. I didn’t mean that I wanted you to leave. I was worrying about John, not myself. My parents might not approve of my having you here, but then, they approve of very little when it comes to me. I’m almost immune to their criticism. But John isn’t.”
“So you’re worried about him, not yourself?”
She didn’t want to lie to him, that wouldn’t be fair. “I can’t say I’m looking forward to explaining you. After all, if I tell them the truth, they might interfere, and then your case could be jeopardized.”
“What will you tell them?”
Judd had slowly moved closer to her until he stood only a few inches away. Already she was responding to him, and he hadn’t even touched her yet. “I don’t know. But I don’t want you to—”
He laid one finger against her lips. “You’ve told me all kinds of things you don’t want, Emily. Now tell me what you do want.”
“You.”
The way his eyes blazed after she said it reassured her. Her fingers trembled when she reached up to touch his chest. “I want you, Judd. It’s a little overwhelming, what you make me feel. I’ve never felt anything like it before. But last night, you gave a part of yourself to me. Now, I want to do the same for you.”
His eyes closed and he drew a deep breath.
Emily took his hand and placed it against her heart. “Do you see what you do to me? It’s probably wrong of me to like it so much—” She had to stop to clear her throat as Judd’s fingers curled around her breast. The heat in her face told her she was blushing, both with excitement and with her audacity, but she was determined to tell him all of it. “When I was engaged, I thought I knew what excitement was, and it was wonderful because it was forbidden. I felt wild, and just a little bit sinful. But that was nothing compared to how I feel with you.”
“How do you feel?”
“Alive. Carnal.” She felt the heat in her cheeks intensify with her outrageous admission, but she continued, “Not the least bit refined.”
“God, Emily, you’re the most refined, the most graceful woman I’ve ever seen.” His tone dropped and his thumb rubbed over her nipple. “You’re also remarkably feminine and sexy. Just thinking about how wild you get makes me so hard I hurt.”
She licked her lips, then stepped closer still so she could hide her face against his chest. “There are…things, I’ve wanted to do to you, Judd.”
His body seemed to clench, and his voice, when he spoke, was hoarse, “What…things?”
Smiling, Emily whispered, “Don’t you think we ought to get out of the hall before we…ah, discuss it?”
She’d barely finished speaking before Judd had opened her bedroom door and ushered her inside. The light was out, but Judd quickly flipped the wall switch. Now that they were out of the dim hall and she had his undivided attention, Emily felt very uncertain about what she had to say. But Judd was staring intently, and waiting, so she forged ahead.
“The last time…well, I know I took you by surprise.”
He traced her mouth with a finger. “You can surprise me anytime you like.”
“That’s not what I mean. You see, even though I try very hard to be proper…” She glanced at his face, saw his fascination, then carefully pulled his teasing fingertip between her lips. Her tongue curled around him as she gently sucked and she heard him gasp. She licked at his flesh, lightly biting him.
“Oh, Emily.”
She forgot he watched her with intense scrutiny. She forgot that such displays could be embarrassing. She could only think of the many things she wanted…
She released his finger and he dropped his hand to her buttocks, cuddling her. With a deep breath and a nervous smile, she blurted out, “I’m afraid I’m a fraud. I’m not at all proper. At least, you see, not when I
’m…”
“Turned on?” His words were a breathless rasp.
She gave a painful nod of agreement.
There was no smile now, but his eyes showed wicked anticipation, and a touch of something more, something she couldn’t recognize. “Are you turned on now, Em?”
The rapid beating of her heart shook her. Heat pulsed beneath her skin, making her warm all over, making her nipples taut, her belly tingle. It was so debilitating, wanting him like this. “Very.”
“And you want to do…things? To me?”
Again, she nodded, feeling the husky timbre of his voice deep inside herself. “If you wouldn’t mind.”
His long fingers curved over her bottom and began a rhythmic caressing. “Tell me what things, Em.”
Pressed so close to his body, it was impossible to ignore the length of his erection against her belly, or the warmth of his breath fanning her cheek. She went on tiptoe and nuzzled her mouth against his throat. “I want to taste you…everywhere.”
His hands stilled, then clenched tight on her flesh. Against her ear, he whispered, “Oh, yeah.”
She pulled his shirt open, and rubbed her cheek over the soft, curling hair there. “I’d like to have you…beneath me, so I could watch your face. You are such an incredibly handsome man, Judd. When you stripped for me…at least, it felt like it was just for me…”
“It was. It made me crazy, the way you ate me up with your eyes. I had to fight damn hard to keep from embarrassing myself that day.”
Not quite understanding what he meant, she tilted her head back and stared up at him. “How so?”
His lips twitched into a smile. “You make me hard, Em, without even trying. But watching you watch me…It was the first time I thought stripping was a turn-on. Before that, it was only damn embarrassing.”
“I’m looking forward to watching you again.”
He groaned, then kissed her, sucking her tongue into his mouth. Emily almost forgot that she wanted to control things this time, but with a soft moan, she pushed Judd away.
