He liked to think the group was the same. They would get the meds back, get the sick better and the group would be back in fighting form.
Subject File #743
Administrator: So, Jenny, to start us off in our first session, have you ever sought out therapy before?
Subject: Not really. I spoke to a counselor back in high school but it wasn’t an ongoing thing.
Administrator: What did you speak about?
Subject: I was just stressed from midterms. We talked it out, she made me feel better and that was it.
Jenny closed the back cover of the book, letting it rest on top of her belly as she gave a wistful sigh. It had been a good book.
Oh, it would never win any awards or be studied in any school but it had a good story and lively characters and that was enough for her. She wasn’t a snob by any means. The budding romance between the recluse cowboy with a heart of gold and his neighbour’s daughter had been just the distraction she needed.
Except now it was over and she was right back to the reality she had wanted to escape.
The cabin she shared with Lorraine was nice enough. The two of them had made it homey as much as they could. They had taken some empty cans from the kitchen and Jenny had glued on some old shelf paper she had found. Now they were tiny vases for the wildflowers that sat on the table runner she’d cut from an old bed sheet. The little yellow flowers looked pretty next to the blue and white stripes of the runner.
She had used the rest of the old sheet to braid a small rug for their shoes to sit on by the doorway. They’d found an old afghan in one of the closets and had washed it and put it on the back of the couch. When Banks and Craig had tossed out the oil paintings of landscapes that had been in their cabin, Jenny had saved them and hung them up in the living room. She liked to have pretty things to look at.
She also liked to have things to distract her. Idle hands were the devil’s playground, Granny had always said. Maybe they weren’t exactly the Devil’s playground but they sure were the playground of anxiety.
She struggled up off the couch, her bulging belly making it a trial but she finally got to her feet. She thought about working on the baby clothes she had started sewing in the evenings but she was experienced with a needle. She didn’t need to concentrate while she sewed and her thoughts would drift. It was the same with knitting or quilting. She needed something that would occupy her mind but Cowboy Sings the Blues was the last of the unread books in the cabin.
There were more books in the lodge but she was still hesitant to walk out that door.
She knew that the illness was contained within the clinic and everyone else had tested negative but she couldn’t force herself outside. Even knowing that Travis was going back to the mainland hadn’t been enough to get her past the door to see him off. She knew it was weak and paranoid but she couldn’t help it.
Every time she thought about going out that door, a voice inside her screamed to stay here where it was safe. She had to protect her baby at all costs. Out there was nothing but death for her and the baby. Even now, just the thought of going through the door brought a cold sweat to her brow.
She knew that Lorraine had brought back a couple medical texts from the clinic before. Maybe they were still on her nightstand. They wouldn’t be an entertaining read but it would be good to learn something new. They could never pass up the opportunity to learn a new skill now.
Before she could go into Lorraine’s room, there was a knock on the door. She looked over at the window, a frown wrinkling her brow as she spotted Kim and Ruthie on her porch. Jenny opened the cabin door a few inches but left the screen door closed.
“Is something wrong?” Jenny asked.
“No,” Kim replied and held up one of the kitchen baskets. “We just figured we’d bring you some lunch since you didn’t come by the lodge. Soup and sandwiches.”
Jenny eyed the basket and then glanced down at Ruthie, who was holding Kim’s hand and grinning up at her.
“Hi, Miss Jenny,” she said, waving at her and bouncing on the balls of her feet. “You wanna come play?”
“No thanks, sweetie,” Jenny replied, keeping a smile on her face. The girl didn’t look sick but she had been close to her brothers and they were in the clinic.
“We’re just going to visit the chickens,” Kim said. “You sure you don’t want to come?”
“No, that’s okay. I think I’m going to take a nap,” Jenny said and put a hand on her belly. “You know how tiring it can be.”
“Okay, well, here.” Kim held out the basket towards her.
Jenny eyed the basket but did not open the door to take it. “It’s okay. Keep it for the others, I’m fine.”
Kim frowned at her. “Angela said you didn’t take any breakfast either when she brought it out. What’s wrong?”
Jenny did her best to try and appear embarrassed, looking down and biting at her bottom lip before giving Kim a sheepish smile. “Truth is I was having an awful craving late last night for applesauce and Vienna sausages so I raided the pantry. I brought a bunch of it back here with me.”
Kim smiled. “That’s okay, nothing to feel guilty about. You can have whatever you want from the pantry, you know that. It also doesn’t mean you can’t have a proper lunch.”
“That’s not why I’m embarrassed. It’s that those little sausages are the only thing I want to eat right now. I know they aren’t healthy but they’re delicious.” She took the added step of looking down at the basket and grimacing, putting a hand to her mouth. “The thought of anything else makes me nauseated.”
Kim laughed at that. “Gotta love what growing babies does to us, huh? Though I think I’d take the weird cravings over the constant crying for no reason.”
“Oh, I have plenty of that too,” Jenny replied, glad that Kim was buying it. “Well, I’ll let you two get on with visiting the chickens.”
“Later we’re going to search for shells on the beach,” Kim said. “You should come with us and get some fresh air.”
“If I’m up to it then,” Jenny replied with a wave and then shut the door, letting out a sigh of relief.
It had worked. She had gone through the same song and dance with Angela that morning when she had brought breakfast. Thankfully the excuse of being pregnant worked for a lot of things.
She went over and opened one of the cupboards in the kitchenette. The cans of food were stacked in neat rows and she took down a can of peaches, rearranging the rest so there wasn’t an empty space. Raiding the pantry hadn’t been a lie.
She had gone there when the thought of contaminated food had struck her in the dead of night. The others might have tested clean of infection now, but what if they were somehow carriers? Lorraine had assured her that it wasn’t airborne and only close contact could transmit it. But that meant whatever food was prepared by a carrier could contain it. She had gone and taken as many of the canned and boxed goods as she could carry. Thankfully there was enough in the pantry that no one had even noticed.
She opened the can and snacked on the peaches, humming in appreciation at the sweet syrup. Better than soup and sandwiches any day.
She grabbed her water glass and went to the sink to refill it but her hand paused on the tap. Their water came from a well here on the island. Angela had told them it was fine to drink but it was still a well. There weren’t any scientists at the water facility checking to make sure their water was uncontaminated. It was just water sitting underground where anything could seep into it. Not just the meningitis they were suffering from now. She’d read stories about all the waterborne diseases that people could catch.
She set aside her glass and grabbed the electric kettle, filling it to the brim and setting it to boil. That would kill anything that might be swirling around in that well. And a cup of tea would be nice right now. She had taken a couple boxes of herbal tea bags from the pantry and even a box of cookies.
She took down one of the mugs from the cupboard and glanced inside. She noti
ced a couple water spots on the rim which would never do. What was the point of boiling the water if the mug was dirty?
When the kettle was done boiling, she dumped the contents into the sink where she had placed the mugs and glasses from the cupboards. Best to get them all clean now. Except where would she put them to dry? When was the last time they had cleaned the counter?
Okay, clean the counter first, then the mugs and then make the tea.
It had been a simple list at first but once she had sterilized the counter to her satisfaction, she realized that the inside of the cupboards needed a good scrubbing.
Soon she had worked up a sweat as she cleaned every surface in the cabin, boiling kettle after kettle of water. Even with the thick rubber gloves, her hands were starting to scald but she ignored the pain. The place needed to be completely free of any contamination. There was no way she was going to let her baby get sick because she was a lazy housekeeper.
She was so concentrated on trying to get the last dust bunny out from underneath her bed that she didn’t hear the knocking on the front door. It was only when she caught sight of the cabin door opening and Kim and Angela walking inside that she realized they were there.
The sight of their dirty boots inside her cabin had her seeing red. “What are you doing? Get out! I just cleaned!”
“Jenny,” Kim called out and stepped around the couch but Jenny had already made it to her feet and she stalked to the bedroom door and slammed it shut. At least they wouldn’t bring their dirty germs into her bedroom and contaminate it.
“Get out!” she yelled through the door. “Just get out and leave me alone!”
“Jenny, we’re worried about you,” Angela called out to her. Her voice was measured, like she was talking to a frightened animal and it set Jenny’s teeth on edge. “You haven’t been outside the cabin in a day. You aren’t taking food from us. We know something is wrong, just tell us what it is.”
“You’re contaminated, all of you. I’m not going to let you get me and my baby sick.”
“Jenny, we aren’t contaminated,” Angela replied. “We all tested negative for any infection. You know that.”
“What about something else? There are all kinds of diseases out there. You don’t know what any of you are carrying. I have to make sure I keep the baby safe. Just leave so I can clean again and make it safe. Please!”
There was no answer from the other side of the door, just silence that stretched and Jenny pressed her ear against the door to hear if they were still there.
“Has she ever shown signs of germaphobia before?” Angela asked.
“No, nothing,” Kim replied. “We lived rough and dirty on the road and she never seemed to care.”
Jenny heard someone take a step closer to the door.
“Jenny, why don’t you let us help you clean?” Angela said. “Three pairs of hands are better than one, right?”
“You’ve been around Ruthie though and she’s been around the twins,” Jenny argued.
“Ruthie is absolutely fine, I swear,” Kim said. “She was the one Quinton was the most worried about so he made sure she didn’t even have a runny nose. She couldn’t be any healthier right now. She hasn’t been around anyone who has been around the sick since it happened. I swear.”
It made sense. Ruthie was the youngest and the most vulnerable. Janet was already dealing with two of her boys being sick, if her little girl had even the slightest chance of having it, she’d make sure Ruthie was in the clinic getting treatment. And three pairs of hands would make the cleaning go faster. Once this place was free of contaminates then she could rest.
“You need to take off your boots and leave them out on the porch,” Jenny called out, “And use the hand sanitizer by the sink.”
Jenny listened at the door as the women moved around and when they called out that they were done, she opened the door a crack. It was only when she spotted their sock feet that she came out of the bedroom.
“Where do you want us to start?” Kim asked, snapping on one of the extra pairs of rubber gloves Jenny had left on the table.
“The floor,” Jenny said. “Where you walked in. We’ve got a wash bucket and Pine sol in the bathroom.”
“We shouldn’t use the Pine-Sol,” Angela said. “The fumes aren’t good for you.”
Jenny frowned down at the hardwood floors. They really were nice and she wanted to keep them in good shape but Jenny was right. The chemicals could hurt the baby just as much as any bacteria living inside the cracks in the wood.
“Soap and water then. We’ve got antibacterial soap in the bathroom. Use that.”
“I’ll go get it then,” Kim replied and Jenny noticed the look that passed between her and Angela before she disappeared into the bathroom.
“I know you think I’m crazy,” Jenny said before Angela could speak, “But I’m not. We’ve all been so worried about the infection, we didn’t consider how many other diseases there are out there. There is no public sanitation anymore. No regulators making sure toxic waste doesn’t spill into the water supply. There are dead bodies everywhere, breeding bacteria and disease that have to go somewhere. We can’t be too careful now.”
“You are right,” Angela said. “We do have to be careful and we are. Harold has been testing the well water every morning since we got here to make sure it’s not contaminated. My uncle also installed water purifiers in all the cabins as an extra precaution.”
Well, that was reassuring to know. She had been wondering what she would do when it came time to shower. She’d used boiled water and a washcloth to spot bathe this morning and it hadn’t been as refreshing as a proper shower.
“You don’t have to worry about dirt on our boots either,” Angela added. “It won’t bring in anything dangerous. Same thing with the food. We’ve already disinfected the kitchen and the rest of the lodge”
Jenny smiled politely, not wanting to insult Angela or any of the others by questioning their hygiene openly. They might wash their hands and wipe up the counters but she couldn’t be sure that one of them didn’t accidentally cough or sneeze near the food. It would only take one microscopic particle to get her and her baby sick.
“Got us some nice, soapy water,” Kim called out as she hauled the wash bucket out to the living room. “Found a scrub brush too. Is it okay to use?”
Jenny nodded. It had thick, hard bristles that would get into the woodgrain. The floors wouldn’t look as nice afterwards but they would be clean.
Kim got down on her hands and knees and began to scrub, starting at the door where they had first come in. This was good. There was no way with her belly Jenny would have been able to get down there like that. Kim was using a good amount of elbow grease, exactly like Jenny would.
“How about I wash these dishes and you dry?” Angela said, nodding towards the sink that was filled with dishes.
Jenny had only got one of the cupboards wiped down before the thought of what bacteria might be on the table where she had eaten had distracted her.
Yes, it was better to have Angela and Kim here. They would keep her on mission.
She grabbed the towel as Angela began to wash the dishes, handing them to Jenny so she could wipe them dry. Jenny was careful to make sure every inch of the mug was dry, not wanting any remaining moisture to give mold the chance to start to grow.
“So what exactly brought on your desire for a good spring clean?” Angela asked. “When I came by this morning, you were happy reading your book.”
“I was going to have some tea but I noticed the mug was dirty so I was going to wash it,” Jenny said as she examined the bowl that Angela had washed, making sure there wasn’t anything she might have missed. “Then I realized we never cleaned the cupboards and then the counter needed to be cleaned because I was knocking dust out onto it. Of course, that meant I had to sweep the floors and then realized I hadn’t ever cleaned under my bed.”
She looked over to find Angela staring at her with a worried look. Jenny let out
a peal of laughter. “I promise, I’m not crazy. You just think everybody is crazy because you’re a shrink. You see issues everywhere.”
“I never said you were crazy, Jenny,” Angela replied, setting down the mug she had been washing. “I just think that maybe the news of people getting sick has scared you. You are in a vulnerable state right now and after everything you’ve been through, it makes sense to be scared. There is so much in this world that is outside of our control. It can be comforting to find something to make us feel in control. Like keeping yourself from being exposed to any germs.”
“That’s not what this is,” Jenny insisted, avoiding Angela’s eyes as she put the glasses back in the cupboard. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I do understand. I hate not being in control so I do things to make me feel like I am.”
“That’s not what this is about,” Jenny snapped, clenching the cloth in a fist. “You don’t understand because you’re not a mother.”
Jenny turned around to seek out Kim, who was watching the two of them from her spot on the floor.
“You understand, don’t you Kim. You would do anything to protect your son, right? Well, that’s what I am doing.”
“But if you are hurting yourself, it doesn’t help your kids,” Kim said.
“She’s right, Jenny,” Angela said. “This sort of mindset can manifest itself in dangerous ways and I think it already has for you. You’ve been refusing food.”
“Food that could be contaminated.” Jenny waved to the cans and boxes that she had taken from the cupboards and put on the table. “You can see I’m not going hungry. I know what I’m doing. I’m protecting my baby and making sure she has a safe place to live when she comes into this world.”
The way the two women looked at her, she knew that they still thought she was crazy.
Well, it didn’t matter what they thought. She knew she wasn’t crazy. She was a mother and she was doing whatever she had to, to protect her baby. Nothing was going to hurt her.
The Complex (The Omega Protocol Chronicles Book 3) Page 29
